Salli Richardson Says You Won't Know If Someone Is "The One" Until You're Deep Into Marriage
You ladies know that we love a good conversation around here, so here's one to get your day started. And it's gooood.
Actor, Dondre Whitfield and his wife, Salli Richardson, are one of those long-term Hollywood marriages that we love to celebrate. They are approaching their 20th wedding anniversary and--to be honest--we're probably more excited than they are about it. Black love is precious and significant to the culture, and they, along with many others who have survived the test of time, are a testament to getting this love thing right.
The two met in the most hilarious way, on the set of Dondre's then television show, Between Brothers. He tells the story to and audience on a live panel for the popular show, Black Love.
"My producers come to me and they say, 'hey, we're going to be casting someone opposite your character. Who do you think would be good in that role?' I always said from seeing her on screen before me met, if I ever get time with her, there's gonna be a problem. I knew it."
He then goes on to say he never thought she'd agree to playing the character, being that her career was taking off and she starred in multiple movies, most notably, A Low Down Dirty Shame. But to his surprise, the producers were able to secure her for the role. Their chemistry eventually led to them going to lunch together and the rest goes down in 'where is my Boaz' history.
"Literally, when we first got together, we spent five days straight--like, I didn't go home. I slept with my clothes on, we didn't do anything. It was the first time in my life that I didn't try anything. There was something about her that I just felt that connection. Everyday I took her to breakfast. I went to the mall so I could buy me some new clothes. I didn't go home for five says straight. That's literally how that happened. That was 22 years ago."
Y'all, I just looove stories like this!
Anywho, Salli, who is now a director and has signed a two-year deal with HBO to develop and direct projects, didn't exactly express the same sentiments. She actually feels that women don't know if their husbands are the one, until they've been married as long as they have.
"I don't know that our journey was as smooth, you know? We had our ups and downs and breakups to figure out, how we work this out, especially in Hollywood and both being in the business and different types of pressures. But listening to you, I feel like once you got married, you don't know still. You don't know what you're signing up for. And I truly believe that now, in our marriage, I don't know if I knew then, but I know now."
Her comment was piggy-backing off of Melissa Fredericks' earlier statement, where they each agreed that you never know if someone is 'the one' until you've been married for a long time. And while men are able to pinpoint the moment where they knew a woman could be their wife, women never know until much later in life. Fredricks said:
"I think the biggest thing about any relationship is that it's really a risk. People have great dating experiences, people have great engagement periods and marriages that doesn't indicate that a marriage is going to last. But now that we've been married for 15 years, I feel like I know now more today than the day I stood on my wedding day. I know today that was a good decision 15 years ago."
Whew, my wig!
It's a really interesting perspective and conversation. Watch the video below (convo starts at the 10:00 mark):
Are you a member of our insiders squad? Join us in the xoTribe Members Community today!
Featured image by Kathy Hutchins / Shutterstock.com
- 6 Reasons The Black Love Summit Should Be On Your To-Do List ... ›
- 7 Married Men Have Some Marriage Myths They Want To Debunk ›
Charmin Michelle is a southern native and creative spirit who works as a content marketer and events manager in Chicago. She enjoys traveling, #SummertimeChi, and the journey of mastering womanhood. Connect with her on Instagram @charminmichelle.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Sheila Rashid's Androgynous Approach To Unisex Clothing Is A Lesson In Embracing Individuality
The ItGirl 100 List is a celebration of 100 Black women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table.
For Sheila Rashid, it all started with some free-hand drawings and a few strokes of paint.
The Chicago-based clothing designer and creative director of Sheila Rashid Brand recalls using her spare time in high school to hand paint designs on t-shirts and distressed hoodies, distributing them to classmates as walking billboards for her art.
Rashid sought to pursue fashion design at Columbia College in Chicago but eventually took the self-taught route to build upon her knack for crafting one-of-a-kind, androgynous pieces.
Courtesy
Thanks to the mentorship of local designers taking her under their wings, Rashid was able to gain valuable experience in putting together collections and creating patterns; equipping her with them with the necessary skills to pursue her own collections.
After two years of living in New York, Rashid returned home to the Chi and uncovered the unique flair she could offer the city. “I moved to New York after that because I wanted to be in the fashion capital world,” she tells xoNecole. “That's when I really got a leg up. I found myself when I moved back to Chicago after moving to New York.”
For the Midwest native, inspiration comes from her time around creative peers and the city’s notorious winters — known to be a main character in many Chicagoans stories. “It's a different perspective and mindset when I'm making stuff because of the weather here,” she explains. “When we get summer, it’s ‘Summertime Chi’ — it's amazing. It's beautiful. Still, I find myself always making clothes that cater to the winter.”
"I moved to New York after that because I wanted to be in the fashion capital world. That's when I really got a leg up. I found myself when I moved back to Chicago after moving to New York.”
Courtesy
Many designers have a signature aesthetic or theme in their creations. In Rashid’s design story, dancing between the lines of femininity and masculinity is how she’s been able to distinguish herself within the industry. Her androgynous clothing has garnered the eye of celebrities like Zendaya, Chance the Rapper, WNBA star Sydney Colson, and more — showing her range and approach to designs with inclusivity in mind.
“I think I do reflect my own style,” she says. “When I do make pieces, I'm very tomboyish, androgynous. My work is unisex because I feel like everybody can wear it. I cater to everybody and that's how I try to approach my clothes.” From denim to overalls, and color-drenched outerwear, Rashid has mastered the structure of statement pieces that tell a story.
“Each collection, I never know what's going to be the thing I'm going to focus on. I try to reflect my own style and have fun with the storytelling,” she shares. “I look at it more like it's my art in this small way of expressing myself, so it's not that calculated.”
"My work is unisex because I feel like everybody can wear it. I cater to everybody and that's how I try to approach my clothes."
Courtesy
Still, if you were able to add up all the moments within Rashid’s 20-year career in design, one theme that has multiplied her into becoming an “ItGirl” is her confidence to take up space within the fashion industry as a queer, Black woman. “Being an ItGirl is about being yourself, loving what you do, finding your niche, and mastering that,” she says.
No matter where you are on your ItGirl journey, Rashid says to always remain persistent and never hesitate to share your art with the world. “Don’t give up. Even if it's something small, finish it and don't be afraid to put it out,” she says, “It's about tackling your own fear of feeling like you have to please everybody, but just please yourself, and that's good enough.”
To learn more about the ItGirl 100 List, view the full list here.
Featured image Courtesy