

If there was ever a better time to blast Marvin Gaye's "What's Going On", mind your business and drink your water, now would probably be it. With the news of "the 'Rona" running rampant across the country, life as we know it is shifting hard and shifting fast. And in light of major sporting events, musical concerts, giant festivals, mega movie premieres and even the ultimate Girls' Night In being affected, some may be wondering: just WHERE are we supposed to go and just HOW are we supposed to handle this?
Well, whether you choose to sage and meditate, enjoy all your fave quarantine snacks and watch Netflix, or sip wine and twerk to Meg Thee Stallion in the mirror, there are numerous ways to cope and get a handle on your anxiety during these trying and uncertain times. And if you haven't quite found what works for you just yet but you're tired of coronavirus upsetting you and your homegirl, check out some of the ways a few of our xoTribe Members are dealing with the pandemic pressure.
Savannah Taider
Age: 24
Occupation: Freelance writer & assistant
Where were you when you first heard about coronavirus/COVID-19?
"I first heard about it in early January. I was visiting a friend in Atlanta and I remember him standing in front of the TV watching the news. He briefly joked about the virus but I honestly didn't pay attention to what was going on. I absolutely hate watching the news and discussing it isn't really my cup of tea. I want to talk about positive things."
Are you self-quarantining?
"I am but that's because I'm a homebody. Ironically though, I live in Belgium and now that the whole country is forced to quarantine, I suddenly feel the urge to go out and party. All jokes aside, things are getting pretty serious and everyone is freaking out here. Almost all stores are closed, some people are forced to work from home, so I'd rather be social distancing until the situation is resolved."
Are you able to work from home?
"I am, thankfully! But truth be told, I'm taking advantage of this crisis to rest and work on my new book."
What's your quarantine self-care routine to alleviate stress?
"My curtains and windows fully opened to let the fresh air in, a long hot shower to relax my muscles, a lot of naps, books and binge-watching my favorite TV show (Jane the Virgin). I'm also trying my best to avoid social media. I had enough of COVID-19 already."
What's on your "Quarantine Self-Care" playlist?
"Vedo - 'You Got It', Phony Ppl ft. Megan Thee Stallion - 'Fkn Around', and ocean sounds. I've been listening to a lot of ocean sounds. It helps me relax."
Quwana M.
Age: 37
Occupation: Admission specialist, Higher Education
Where were you when you first heard about Coronavirus/COVID-19?
"I think I was at work when I first heard of pandemic originally [detected in] China."
Are you self-quarantining?
"Yes. I'm self quarantining."
Are you able to work from home?
"Yes. I'm working from home and hate it."
What's your quarantine self-care routine to alleviate stress?
"I don't have a stress reliever quarantine routine. But I'm in dire need of something, my anxiety is through the roof. The uncertainty of tomorrow is real!"
What's on your "Quarantine Self-Care" playlist?
"Podcasts are my go-to heavily this week. Expeditiously, Earn your Leisure, and xoNecole Happy Hour."
Teisha Leshea
Courtesy of Teisha Leshea
Age: 33
Occupation: Claims Processor for a children's hospital
Where were you when you first heard about coronavirus/COVID-19?
"I've been hearing about this since last December. I didn't really think anything of it so I was probably living my life as normal. With the 24-hr news cycle, days can run together. I was probably at home."
Are you self-quarantining?
"No, I'm an introvert so my life isn't different from three weeks ago. I've always had healthy hygiene habits but as of late I've been disinfecting and wiping down everything even more."
Are you able to work from home?
"No."
What's your quarantine self-care routine to alleviate stress?
"Setting boundaries and not allowing my mind to be engulfed in the wrong information."
What's on your "Quarantine Self-Care" playlist?
"Nipsey Hussle, Summer Walker, Ari Lennox and of course xoHappy Hour podcast."
Courtney Clardy
Age: 29
Occupation: Counselor/Therapist (Social Worker)
Where were you when you first heard about Coronavirus/COVID-19?
"I reside in Nashville, TN and the day before, I heard about a case of COVID-19 being in a surrounding county. My county, as well as others, were affected by a very vicious tornado. I was at home when I saw the news about the case via social media. I will admit that I heard about it vaguely way before it hit the US but never paid much attention to it."
Are you self-quarantining?
"I am, in variations. I currently provide therapy services in a shelter to women and children who are survivors of domestic violence, sex trafficking, etc. However, I've found balance in going to work, staying home, and being socially engaged. Social engagements are very slim during this time. So I'm mainly home and at work, however, that is mainly my everyday routine."
Are you able to work from home?
"At this time, I'm expected to report to work until further notice."
What's your quarantine self-care routine to alleviate stress?
"When I am able to self-quarantine, I spend time talking to friends and family, binge-watching Hulu/Netflix, prayer, meditation, and affirmations. I also give myself the space to go out if I feel led to. For example, I went to dinner with friends yesterday to celebrate a birthday. Finding this balance and honoring myself in the balance allows me not to be overwhelmed by worry or fear."
What's on your "Quarantine Self-Care" playlist?
"It depends on my mood. It can range from worship music, R&B vibes, or Meg Thee Stallion ratchet."
Dayana Preval
Age: 26
Occupation: Healthcare, but my passion is in content creating.
Where were you when you first heard about Coronavirus/COVID-19?
"I don't remember exactly where I was, but most likely I was at home scrolling on social media. It became more serious to me when I went to work and people started testing positive for the virus."
Are you self-quarantining?
"I still have to work, but I am off four days a week due to my schedule. For the most part, I stay home and only leave the house for small things where I know there won't be a lot of people."
Are you able to work from home?
"No, I'm unable to work from home."
What's your quarantine self-care routine to alleviate stress?
"Honestly, I don't think I really created a self-care routine during this time. If anything, I'm stressed and trying to remain positive because there's a lot of transformations happening in my life. And this virus has put a halt on the world."
What's on your "Quarantine Self-Care" playlist?
"I've been keeping busy with creating, so I've mainly been listening to Jhene Aiko's latest album and The Photographsoundtrack."
Longing for a sense of community in the midst of social distancing and self-quarantining, click here to learn more about how you can join our new xoTribe Members Community app today!
Featured image by Shutterstock
Writer. Empath. Escapist. Young, gifted, and Black. Shanelle Genai is a proud Southern girl in a serious relationship with celebrity interviews, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, and long walks down Sephora aisles. Keep up with her on IG @shanellegenai.
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image screenshot/ xoNecole YouTube
I’ve gotta say that, for the most part, my friends are pretty damn chill. There is one (major) exception, though — and it’s an odd one. Even after all these years and countless times of me giving them the same answer, if there is a time when they think they are my mama, it’s when they see an email come through at an odd hour of the night. Then, all of a sudden, here they come asking me when do I get sleep if I’m emailing at (say) three in the morning.
Again, the answer never changes because, if there is one thing that Shellie Reneé Warren is gonna get, it’s 6-8 (sometimes nine) hours of sleep. However, since my chronotype (check out “Ever Wonder What Personality Traits Make Someone A 'Morning Person'?”) means that I like/prefer to write in the wee hours of the morning, sometimes I will sleep for the night for five hours and take a nap in the day. And y’all, that is just fine with me because I am well aware of the fact that napping does everything from give me more energy, heighten my alertness and even make me more creative to decrease stress levels, strengthen immunity, and reduce my chances of experiencing a heart attack or stroke.
My problem is I will oftentimes go “overboard” with my daytime zzz’s. What I mean by that is, in order to get the most out of a nap, they say thatyou shouldn’t sleep for longer than 25 minutes or so; otherwise, you could wake up feeling sluggish (I don’t but…). Also, it can make resting, soundly, at night a bit of a struggle.
So, what are you saying, Shellie? We should get quickies in? Yeah. And it’s funny that the word “quickie” would come up because just like a sex quickie can do wonders for you (and it can — check out “12 Super Solid Reasons To Have A Quickie Every Single Day”), it’s a full-circle moment when I say that something that can improve the quality of your sex life is to have a power nap (a nap that lasts between 10-30 minutes).
Wanna know how the two things correlate? Honestly, it’s no secret that sleep and sex work together to optimize both (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”). Today, though, we’re going to tap into how a nap, specifically, can have you partaking in some of the best sex that you’ve experienced in a minute. I’ll explain.
Naps Reduce Stress
If you’re feeling super stressed out right now, you are not alone. There is plenty of data out here that says that most of us are stressed for at least a couple of reasons at a time — and that can impact your sexual health on a few levels. For one thing, it can bring about feelings of depression and/or anxiety. Stress can also throw your hormone levels off (including your cycle) which can weaken your libido. Stress can make you want to put distance between you and your partner (yes, literally).
Stress can also make it challenging to get aroused or to have an orgasm. And just what can help to decrease stress? Taking a nap. Since sleep has a way of helping you to “get off of the clock” and relax a bit, that can lower your stress levels and “reset” your body so that you are calmer — and that, in turn, can do wonders for your sex drive and ultimately your sex life.
Naps Improve Your Mood
There is one person in my life, and fairly 80 percent of the time, she’s in a super good mood. Oh, but let that girl go without sleep, and…who is this woman? LOL. There’s research behind why this happens. When a person is sleep-deprived, it messes with their brain chemicals, and that can amplify emotions like anger, restlessness and sadness. In fact, one study revealed that people who had their sleep disrupted throughout the night, they ended up having their positive outlook on life reduced by about 30 percent.
And geeze, who wants to have sex when they’re not feeling very good? Anyway, since serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps to regulate your moods, your sleep patterns, and your libido and sleep is what helps to keep it in balance — by taking a nap, not only can it help you to feel better, it can also increase your desire for sex (it can also build up your endurance which is also…sexually beneficial).
Naps Increase Your Focus and Concentration
Something that some of my clients bring up is how, when it comes to having sex, sometimes the flesh is willing while the spirit is weak because, although the desire for intimacy is there, so much is going on that they aren’t able to get still enough to focus on experiencing copulation with their partner. This also tracks because, when you don’t have enough rest, your brain finds itself not working in harmony and that can make it hard to do everything from approaching life with a sense of flexibility to making necessary decisions.
Certain data also reveal that a lack of rest can cause you to have a really poor attention span and not process things in context (the more you know). So, if you really want to get some yet it’s hard for you to focus long enough to make it happen, ask your bae to lie down with you and take a nap. Between the sleep and the snuggling (check out “Fall's Coming: 8 Wonderful Health Benefits Of Cuddling”) — you may wake up with your mind and body totally on the same page. #wink
Naps Can Make You Feel Better About Your Body
Even if, overall, you feel really good about your body, I think that we all have moments when we feel less attractive than others — and who wants to have sex when they don’t really feel…very sexy? Well, something else that sleep, in general, can do is increase your confidence in your body.
For one thing, if you want to lose a few pounds, sleep can actually make that happen by helping your body metabolize the glucose (sugar) that’s in it so that you can better manage your appetite. Other studies go on to share that since sleep deprivation can impact one’s mental health and emotional stability in a negative way, of course, getting enough rest would increase body positivity.
Shoot, science even goes so far as to say that insomnia can cause people to have an elevated level of dissatisfaction when it comes to their body image. Don’t take their word for it, though. Look in the mirror before a nap. Then look in a mirror after waking up from me. Do you feel better? I’d be surprised if you don’t.
Makes Your Brain Bigger…Which Could Make Your Orgasms Better
I saved the best for last by design. Now if you’re wondering how in the world a nap can improve (and possibly increase) your orgasms — oh, there is a method to the madness…trust. For starters, the saying that your biggest sex organ is your brain? That isn’t a myth. Long story less long, the brain is what houses your central nervous system and that is what controls how men and women sexually function (yes, literally).
And since the brain also releases feel-good chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin during sex and brain activity significantly increases in women during sexual activity (especially right before she orgasms) — well, would it trip you out to know that when you take a nap, your brain actually expands? A bigger brain (that’s healthy) can potentially intensify your sexual experiences (and your climaxes) — and who doesn’t want that to go down?
____
Like I said earlier, I never have to be convinced to get a nap in. However, if your sex life has been a bit stagnant lately, you’ve been feeling a little sluggish and you’re not sure what to do — I’m hoping that a nap can get you right.
There’s enough science to prove that it can. All you need to do is give it a shot.
Now where’s your pillow and sleep mask, chile?
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by FG Trade/Getty Images