As the summer gets hotter and the days get longer, we've experienced anxiety, stress, and fear of the unknown. We are all overwhelmed with emotions, and sometimes a simple nap doesn't do the trick. While searching for ways to pour into myself, my sister mentioned to me that she has a coping box.
A coping box was encouraged by her therapist at the time and it requires you to collect things that mean the most to you and place them in a box. Her kit consisted of shells because she loved the beach, bubbles, and other items that she enjoyed. I immediately went to Google to see what I could find about a coping box for adults that's perfect for my self-care routine.
Here's what I learned:
What Is A Coping Box?
According to psychologist Jennifer Mulder, a coping box is "a shoebox, basket, bag or trunk packed with soothing items that you can turn to when you're having a (really) bad day. The box can contain anything that cheers you up, comforts you, offers relief from physical pain, or prevents a relapse." Creating a coping box is a technique that many child therapists use with children who suffer from anxiety and depression as a means to calm them down in moments of distress. After reading that, my first question was, "Why doesn't this apply to adults?" I've been to therapy for over a year, and my therapist never suggested it. A coping box is to provide motivation, comfort, and the necessary mind shifts that we need to help us cope with our low moments.
How To Create A Coping Box
Jennifer's theory suggests that we can create individual boxes that give us emotional and physical relief that helps find solutions to your problems. Focus on items that spark your five senses (sight, touch, sound, taste, and smell) to help you in those moments of a panic attack or a situation that could cause anxiety.
For Emotional Relief:
Shutterstock
- Books & Movies: This would be a perfect time to binge-watch your favorite movie or show through a streaming service.
- Music: Whether it's Megan Thee Stallion challenging how sturdy your knees are or the sweet sounds of Luke James, music has been known to change a mood.
- Something Soft To The Touch: Choose a stress ball, favorite blanket, favorite stuffed animal or a piece of fabric from the craft store.
- Journal: There's nothing like one long run-on sentence describing how you feel and having everything on paper so that you can reference them later.
- Photos: We don't know how long outside will be closed, but now we can all reminisce on the past. Old brunch photos or family photos will do the trick to put a smile on your face.
- Words That Mean Something: Recite your favorite quotes, affirmations, psalms, or favorite music lyric to shift your thought process.
For Physical Pain & Discomfort:
- Natural oils, butter, and creams to alleviate the everyday aches and pains that we can experience
- Tea, essential oils for your diffuser
- Nature sounds that will help you relax and/or sleep
- Yoga or some activity to get the blood circulating
- A visit to your therapist, either through an app like Talkspace or teletherapy
- Confiding in your tribe
- Meditation practices
- If your problems are too severe for one person, create a crisis plan with phone numbers of friends, family, and accessible hotlines.
The uniqueness of your coping box is up to you. The box is interchangeable; you can add and subtract whatever you want. It's here to be of service to your needs.
Featured image by Shutterstock.
- Why You Need a Coping Box + How to Create Your Own | The ... ›
- Making a Mental Health Coping Box | The Belltower ›
- 5 Things I Put in My Mental Health 'Coping Box' | The Mighty ›
- 10+ Coping Skills Box ideas | coping skills, counseling resources ... ›
- Calming Boxes Can Soothe | Psychoeducation in Psychotherapy ›
RELATED
Camesha created the organization after her struggles with mental health and the lack of community she experienced. The Chicago native explains how she created Sista Afya to be rooted in “culturally grounded care.”
pixelheadphoto digitalskillet/ Shutterstock
“So at my organization, Sista Afya Community Care, we focus on providing mental health care through a cultural and gender lens,” she tells xoNecole. “So when we think about the term intersectionality, coined by Kimberlé Crenshaw, we think about the multiple identities that lead to certain experiences and outcomes as it relates to Black women.
“So in the context of culturally grounded care, being aware of the cultural history, the cultural values, and then also the current issues that impact mental health outcomes.”
Words like “strong” and “independent” have long been associated with Black women for some time and many of us have begun to embrace the soft life and are using rest as a form of resistance. However, some of us still struggle with putting ourselves first and overall shedding the tainted image of the “strong, Black woman” that had been forced on us.
Camesha shares that while there’s more and more communities being created around empowerment and shared interests like running, she still questions, “are Black women really comfortable with being vulnerable about sharing their experiences?”
Being vulnerable with ourselves and others play an important role in healing the instinctive nature of always being “on” for everyone. “I'm currently facilitating a group on high functioning depression, and yesterday, we talked about how when Black women may be struggling or have shared their concerns with other people. They may be minimized, or they're told to just be strong, or it's not so bad, or I went through something worse back in Jim Crow era, so you should be thankful,” she explains.
“So I think there's a challenge with Black women being able to be honest, to be vulnerable and to receive the support that they need in the same capacity as how much they give support to other people. So that is probably a very common theme. I think we've made a lot of progress when we talk about the superwoman syndrome, the mammy stereotype, the working hard stereotype, the nurturing stereotype. I think we're beginning to unpack those things, but I still see that we have definitely a long way to go in that area.”
I think there's a challenge with Black women being able to be honest, to be vulnerable and to receive the support that they need in the same capacity as how much they give support to other people.
Roman Samborskyi/ Shutterstock
While we’re unpacking those things, we know that we’re still women at the end of the day. So as we continue to serve in various roles like mothers, daughters, sisters, and caretakers, we have to make caring for ourselves a priority. Camesha reveals four ways we can still care for others without abandoning ourselves.
Trust
First things first, trust. Camesha explains, “Some of the burdens that Black women have can be linked to not feeling like you can trust people to carry the load with you.
“It's hard because people experience trauma or being let down or different experiences, but one of the things that I found personally is the more that I'm able to practice trust, the more I'm able to get my needs met. Then, to also show up as my best to care for other Black women.”
Know Your Limitations
Another thing Camesha highlighted is Black women knowing their limitations. “The other thing that I would like to bring up in terms of a way to care for yourself is to really know your limitations, or know how much you can give and what you need to receive,” she says.
“So often, what I see with Black women is giving, giving, giving, giving, giving to the point that you're not feeling well, and then not receiving what you need in return to be able to feel well and whole individually. So I really think it's important to know your limitations and know your capacity and to identify what it is that you need to be well.”
Don’t Take On A Lot Of Responsibilities
Next on the list is not taking on so many responsibilities, sharing herself as an example. “The other thing is taking on too much responsibility, especially in a time of vulnerability.
“One thing that I personally struggled with was being so passionate about community mental health for Black women, and saying yes to everything and taking on so much responsibility,” she reveals. “That affected me to do well in serving Black women and then also impacting my own well being.”
Practice Self-Care
Lastly, she notes the importance of practicing self-care. “The last thing is really practicing regular self care, regular community care, so that it's embedded into your daily life. So for me, having prepared meals, going to the gym, getting eight hours of sleep, spending time with friends and family, all of those things are part of my self care that keep me at my best,” she explains.
“Then community care, leaning into social networks or social groups, or spending time with other interests or hobbies. That's a part of my community care that keeps me going, so that I can take care of my needs, but also to be able to show up best in care for others.”
Find out more about Camesha and Sista Afya Community Care at communitycare.sistaafya.com.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by AS Photo Family/ Shutterstock