I Got My Tubes Tied At 30 Because I Always Knew I Didn't Want Children
I can’t say I always knew I didn’t want children, but I can say I’ve been skeptical for as long as I can remember.
Even as a little girl, when my friends played with dolls and dreamed of one-day becoming mothers, I never felt that same desire. Motherhood simply never interested me. As I got older and my friends started becoming mothers, I became more certain that I wanted to focus on my career, travel the world, and live life on my own terms.
Choosing to be a child-free woman is a personal decision that can come with a range of reactions from society.
For some, the choice to not have children is met with understanding and respect, while for others, it can be met with confusion, judgment, and even discrimination. Regardless of the reactions from others, being a child-free woman is a valid and empowering choice that allows women to live their lives on their own terms.
One of the most significant benefits of being a child-free woman is the freedom it affords. Without the responsibilities and financial burdens that come with raising children, child-free women have the opportunity to pursue their passions and ambitions in a way that may not be possible for parents. These women can focus on their careers, travel, volunteer work, hobbies, and personal growth without having to worry about the time and financial constraints that parenting can bring..
Another benefit of being child-free is the ability to maintain independence and autonomy. Women who choose not to have children can make decisions about their own lives without having to consider the needs and wants of a child. They can live on their terms, make choices about their bodies, and prioritize their well-being without having to factor in the needs of a child.
However, the enormity of my decision to be child-free isn't lost on me.
Unfortunately, when a woman expresses that she doesn't want to have children, she's often met with skepticism and criticism from others who don't understand her decision. Some asserted that I'd regret my decision and told me I would change my mind eventually, while others accused me of being selfish and not fulfilling my "womanly duties."
Society has traditionally placed a great deal of value on motherhood and family, and women who choose to be child-free can face criticism and even discrimination. Some people may view child-free women as selfish or immature, while others may make assumptions about their motivations for not having children.
Child-free women need to recognize that their decision is valid and should be respected. Just as motherhood is a valid choice, so is the decision to not have children.
Women should be able to make their own choices about their lives without fear of judgment.
Over time, I noticed reactions to my decision did vary. Though some people questioned my decision, others supported my choice or were even inspired by my courage to live so authentically. Whether feedback was positive or negative, I knew that my decision was the right one for me.
Content with my decision to be child-free, and after years of suffering side effects from conventional birth control methods, I began exploring permanent birth control options. It wasn’t long before I decided that tubal ligation, or “getting my tubes tied,” was the right choice for me.
I researched the procedure extensively and found that it was a minimally invasive procedure, requires little downtime for recovery, and the efficacy rate is far higher than birth control pills, IUDs, or even condoms.
On the day of the procedure, I felt a mix of nervousness and excitement. As I lay on the hospital bed, both my doctor and the anesthesiologist talked me through each step of the process and assured me that everything would be okay. Honestly, all of the hospital staff I interacted with made the surgery process an enjoyable and exciting experience!
Once the procedure was over, I immediately felt a sense of relief and freedom. I knew that I had made the right decision for myself and my future. I left the hospital feeling so empowered by my ability to take control of my own body and life.
After having such a positive experience, I was eager to share my experience with others. By sharing on social media, I found support from others who shared my views, and I also hope to inspire other women to be thoughtful and inquisitive when it comes to making choices about their bodies and futures.It is important to recognize that having children is not the only path to happiness and fulfillment.
While some still judge me for my decision, I know that I’m living a life that is true to myself, and that’s all that matters.
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Featured image courtesy of Jasmine Blocker
Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
Tiffany Evans Spent Years Working As A Child Star & Says She Has "Nothing To Show For It"
If the recurring strikes and scandals didn't give you an inkling of how seedy the entertainment industry can be, surely you can look to stories of former child stars whose fame of yesteryears can, at times, be a source of the conflict and inner turmoil they encounter today. While some child stars were able to keep riding the Hollywood wave to new levels and heights in a decades-spanning career, some found success occupying other lanes like retail, and some still look to the past as if it were yesterday with heavy regret due to the career that could have, or even should have, been.
Tiffany Evans' claim to fame happened early on in her childhood as her powerhouse vocals caught the attention of many during her time as a contestant on Star Search in 2003. At the time, she wasn't even 12, but she was racking up perfect scores with every performance, a competition first. Unsurprisingly, she scored a record deal shortly thereafter. Tiffany would go on to release her self-titled debut album in 2008 with singles like "I'm Grown" and perhaps her biggest hit, "Promise Ring," which featured Ciara. In 2005, she also had a minor role in the Tyler Perry film Diary of a Mad Black Woman.
Two decades later, Tiffany is now reminiscing on being able to spend her childhood years doing something she loved but regrettably having "nothing to show for it" as an adult, all due to greed and because the industry will either lift you up or spit you out.
Recently, an Instagram post published by The Neighborhood Talk shared a comment Tiffany left on the Instagram account @flyandfamousblackgirls regarding her experience with childhood fame. The post she commented on was a picture of herself from February 2003, when she appeared as a guest on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. The comment she left felt like an open letter to her inner child. In it, she recounted manipulation, missed opportunities, and abuse she encountered during that time.
"If I knew then what I know now I would have done things differently. I wish I could've changed so much that was going around this little girl. Everybody took from me. All of the hard earned money I made. The work I put in. They took from me, ruined some relationships in this business for me, squandered some opportunities that if you guys knew about it, you would've wanted to get it back in blood for me.
"I spent years doing something that I love, to become an adult and have nothing to show for it. It bothers my mental a lot some time. The ones who know the truth, really know... from a teenager to my adult years I went out looking for love in wrong places, was manipulated, and terribly abused."
Tiffany then expressed that her journey to where she's grown to since her time in the limelight brought her beauty that she has so much gratitude for. Since music will always be a priority for her, what she has been through doesn't stop her from wanting to see her career go further than it was allowed to go in the past.
Her comment continued, "Out of that kind of life I gained beautiful children, I met my soulmate but I really want to see what I worked so hard for all my childhood finally come to life! And I love music so I'm really working at it still y'all. I trust the Lord. Thank you for always rooting for me love y'all!"
"Please keep rooting for me." Tiffany ended her comment, prompting people to follow her music page. "we're dropping music together and some solo stuff soon too."
We're always rooting for you, Tiffany!
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Featured image by Marcus Ingram/Getty Images
