I've never been one to travel scared.
News stories, paranoid friends and family, and even movies like Brokedown Palace, will have you terrified to leave your home, let alone fly to the other side of the world. For me; however, the "see for yourself" mantra has always rang true.
That's why when I had the chance to check another adventure off my bucketlist in Jordan, I was beyond thrilled.
Jordan was a country I had dreamed of ever since Indiana Jones, along with his whip and sidekicks, ran through Petra on their Last Crusade. It had a magic that captured me instantly and even though I was just a little Black girl from Brooklyn, I knew I had to make it there someday.
Of course when I told my father about my plans, he immediately went into protective daddy mode:
“You're not going by yourself are you?"
“There's no way I'm allowing you to ride through the desert for hours with strange men!"
“If you insist on doing this, we need to set up a system of selfies and safe words."
Now, seeing as how my father thinks my overly grown self needs a safe word for trips to the supermarket alone, you will totally be able to understand why I paid him absolutely no attention. Until his last concern escaped his lips, “Do you even know if they like Black women or Black people over there?"
I didn't.
The more I researched my trip, the more my excitement became infiltrated by doubt and fear. Not too many people I know, even some of my seasoned travel friends, have been to Jordan. Those that have went in groups, on tours or with husbands. I was realizing that I didn't know how I would be received as a woman in Jordan.
A solo woman. A solo Black woman.
Sure I practically live in Abu Dhabi and visit often to hang with friends, but the UAE, despite its strict laws, isn't considered the “real" Middle East. It's Vegas on steroids, an over the top Jetson-like metropolis where foreigners come to play and indulge in their bougiest fantasies. Living and playing in the UAE can give you a false sense of security about how the rest of the Middle East operates, and it's a far cry from everything I was reading about Jordan.
Ok, now I was a bit scared.
But, I'm from Brooklyn, with all the “cough up a lung, where I'm from…" bravado that it entails, so I decided to put on my best screwface and face my fear head on. I was going to Jordan. Alone.
Jordan from the hills
The minute I touched down in Jordan I kept my eyes open and guard up for any awkward stares or surly men wondering where my husband was. I met my driver and immediately took a selfie with him because my father is insane, then headed to my hotel in central Amman. Once I got settled I decided to take a trip down Rainbow Street and indulge in some shopping, food and people watching.
I was standing on a random corner trying to figure out where to eat when a group of young Jordanian women approached me, asked if I needed help and invited me to eat with them. I must admit that my first reaction was to give them the “Girl bye!" face because in NYC if a stranger approaches you on the street they are either a lost tourist, homeless or trying to rob you. Yet I threw defensiveness to the wind, went to lunch with these women and ended up bonding with them over our matching Jordans. Mine worn with jeans, theirs worn under abayas.
Indiana Dani at Petra
Next up was my trip to Petra. My driver returned for our four hour journey through the desert and immediately my nervousness returned. Four hours in the middle of nowhere, with a strange man on the other side of the world where I know no one. What if he killed me and left me in the desert? What if my father has to resort to living the male version of “Not with My Child" to rescue me and bring me home? Clearly I watch too much Investigative Discovery and Lifetime.
The drive ended up being full of laughs and adventure. My driver became like an older brother, cracking jokes on me, taking me to hang out with friends at random rest stops and educating me on life in Jordan. We explored Petra together, drank beer and played card games until the sun came up.
My first selfie with strangers turned friends
He signed me up for a Jordanian cooking class because family everywhere believe food is the path to marriage.
Sigh, brothers. I ended up loving the class while I never attracted that husband, I met other solo women from Turkey who were excited to see someone “brave" just like them. Perhaps Jordan wasn't so bad after all.
Desert selfies with Mohammed
The next morning I said goodbye to my “brother" and made my way to Wadi Rum with another driver that would introduce me to my future BFF for life, Mohammed. Mohammed was a Bedouin who lived out in the deserts of Wadi Rum in the way of his forefathers, living off the land with minimal contact with the outside world. As a city girl I was not about this life. What do you mean there's no cell service and I can't check Facebook? Why is there no light in my tent? Why am I sleeping in a tent? This was going to be interesting.
Mohammed and I became fast friends and took more selfies together than the Kardashians combined. He made me a picnic lunch beneath a rock and played me traditional Jordanian songs on his iPhone (Apple is everywhere!).
Chef Mohammed
We hiked mini mountains, visited friends and talked about relationship troubles, chased defiant goats, and watched the most beautiful sunset together before heading to our camp for the night where he prepared me a delicious chicken dinner that was cooked in the ground traditional Bedouin style. We stared at the stars shining bright above us and shared the hopes and dreams of two people so different, but very much the same.
That night, I fell in love with Jordan.
After riding a camel back to the village, I exchanged info with Mohammed, snapped a few pics of him with his friends (Jordanian men are yummy…praises.), said goodbye and headed off on a two hour journey towards the Dead Sea. I checked into my hotel and headed down to the beach to spend some time covering myself in mud and taking awkward pictures of myself floating while trying not to drop my phone in the water. So many people, local and foreign, came to chat with me, invite me to lunch or to dinner in their homes. It was refreshing.
Dead Sea
As I stood in the water admiring the sight before me, for the first time I realized that I was no longer nervous or afraid. Unlike other countries where I needed to be on guard for my safety or couldn't go two feet without being reminded that I was strange black fruit, Jordan allowed me to be free.
It was in that moment that I realized I hadn't been scared since I arrived. That no one mentioned my race or gave me awkward stares. That the men my father was so worried about me driving through the desert with protected me like I was family. A trip that started out with fear had turned into one of the best adventures I've had so far, and after 70+ countries, that's saying a lot. Jordan was nothing like what I thought, nothing like what some media might have you believe. Jordan and its people filled my heart with so much kindness and love that I was never alone and instead of being scared I was able to open myself up to the world around me. New friendships, new experiences and memories that will last a lifetime.
As I headed back to the airport, after a night of partying because if you didn't already know, Jordanians get it in, a sense of sadness came over me. Not too many places evoke emotions from me, but Jordan had won my heart. I hugged my “brother," who came back to see me off, and cried like a baby on his shoulder. “I tell you, Jordan is amazing. You are one of us now, this is your new home," he said. He was right. I took one last look around and I no longer felt like a brown girl in an Arab world. I felt welcomed; I felt at home. And I can't wait to return.
Have you ever overcome a fear of traveling? Let me know! And feel free to check out more pics from my trip to Jordan below.
- 5 Ways To Travel Solo Like A Boss - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Top Worst Countries For Black Tourists - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Best and Worst Countries For Black Women Travelers - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Best and Worst Countries For Black Women Travelers - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Why Every Woman Should Travel Alone At Least Once In Her Life - xoNecole: Lifestyle, Culture, Love, Wellness ›
- Traveling While Black ›
- Traveling While Black - The New York Times ›
- The Best & Worst Things About Traveling While Black - The Blog ... ›
- 10 Insights On Traveling While Black | In Progress ›
- Traveling While Black | How Not To Travel Like A Basic Bitch ›
- Traveling While Black: 12 Hacks to Keep You Covered - EBONY ›
- 10 Countries Every Black Woman Should Visit | Traveling While ... ›
- My Experience Traveling While Black: Minority Nomad View ... ›
- Traveling While Black: What You Need to Know ›
What October 2023 Has In Store For Your Zodiac Sign
On October 8th, Venus moves into earth sign Virgo, and love takes on a more serious and grounded tone here. Venus in Virgo has high standards and wants the best of the best. There is a possibility of becoming overly critical in love or relationships with this energy, however overall, Venus in Virgo will be focused on letting go of unhealthy behaviors in love and creating more positive ways of relating, giving, and receiving in relationships. A few days later, Pluto goes direct in Capricorn after going retrograde in Aquarius back in May, and fewer power struggles and obstacles are more likely.
With Pluto direct in Capricorn, it is easier to reach your goals, build success, and see your own self-empowerment in it all.
On October 12th, Mars enters Scorpio, and Mars loves being in this water sign as it’s the ruler of Scorpio. Mars in Scorpio is passionate and direct and heats things up when it comes to your relationships. Mars will be in Scorpio until November 24th, and a spark is definitely being lit. A few days later, we have a New Moon Solar Eclipse in Libra.
This Solar Eclipse is creating a fresh start in love, but may also be bringing things to the forefront that are uncomfortable to see. A Solar Eclipse in Libra is relationship-oriented, and this is where you will be seeing the most impact now.
Before the month ends, Mercury enters Scorpio on October 22nd, Scorpio Season begins on the 23rd, and there is a Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in Taurus on October 28th. The end of October is when a lot of big moves are being made, and transformations are occurring, and it’s about letting go of baggage before moving forward again. The Lunar Eclipse in Taurus is another eclipse that has an impact on relationships, as both Libra and Taurus are ruled by Venus, the planet of love.
Through what is changing and transforming in some of your close relationships, this energy suggests there is greater love on the other side of it. Find gratitude in where you are, and stand in hope and self-belief for where you want to be.
Your October 2023 Monthly Horoscopes
ARIES
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleYour strength is needed this month, Aries. During October, the Sun is in Libra, meaning the Sun is in your 7th house. The 7th house is the house of love and relationships, but it’s also the house of open enemies and opposition. This month, you will be finding your balance between the opening you are seeing in your life right now and what still needs to be built.
On October 14th, there is a New Moon Solar Eclipse in this area of your chart, the 7th house, and this is an impactful time for you emotionally. The intentions you have been setting in your love life and financially are creating a new scene for you. This is a good month to do more of the things that make you happy, to get creative, and to notice the beauty in your life. Before the month ends, your ruling planet, Mars, moves into your 8th house, and things get deep and even more emotional for you moving into November.
TAURUS
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is a month of reflection for you, Taurus. There is a lot happening this month and a lot happening for you personally, yet you are taking the time to tend to your inner world and recreate your safe spaces. With Venus in a fellow earth sign and in your 5th house of romance for most of this month, you will be sure to have plenty of love in your life to help you through some of the downtime you are getting in October.
Mars moves into your house of love on October 12th, and this is heating things up for you in your relationships and sex life. Fuel your passions and notice what is lighting you up inside right now. Before the month ends, on October 28th, there is a Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in your sign, and you are going through some major life changes. You are closing one chapter of your life of self-discovery and moving forward with a new view of yourself and the world around you.
GEMINI
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is all about letting go, Gemini. You are moving through a time of releasing what has been filling your world with more chaos and confusion than clarity and are paving a new path for yourself. Your ruling planet, Mercury, is in your house of happiness for most of this month, and you are really thinking of the things that your heart wants and expressing yourself through this space of openness as well. Communication channels are exciting for you this month.
On October 14th, the New Moon Eclipse will be highlighting all of the energy of love you have been feeling this month and will be helping you hone in on your creative passions and hobbies as well. This month is surprising you on how well things turn out when you let go of what isn’t working. The second eclipse of the month is on the 28th, and this one for you is about laying the past to rest once and for all and giving yourself time to heal and process.
CANCER
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is an activating month for you, Cancer. There are some eye-opening moments happening, and a lot of things are coming to a head. The energy of the month is about letting things find their place and allowing yourself to be okay in the process. Venus is in your 3rd house of communication for most of this month, and you will be able to communicate more freely how you are feeling and what you need in your relationships right now.
With the Sun in Libra and in your 4th house for most of October, home is really where the heart is right now. Spending time in comfortable environments where you feel the most at ease is nourishing. Before the month ends, there is a Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in your 11th house of community, and things are coming full circle for you. Lean on your support systems and community for an extra hand, and know that you deserve to take up space.
LEO
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is a month of things moving forward for you, Leo. Patience is still needed, as things may not be moving as quickly as expected, however, they are moving nonetheless, and you are leaving the space of stagnation you have been feeling the past couple of months. Openings are coming into your life, and with Venus now in your 2nd house, you are able to capitalize on what you have been investing in and claim your abundance.
The Solar Eclipse happening mid-month will be awakening something within you when it comes to expressing yourself. You are breaking free from fears, limitations, and self-judgments and seeing yourself as someone who deserves to be heard. The Sun is also in this area of your chart until the end of the month, and you have all the support from the universe right now to speak up and speak your truths.
VIRGO
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is a month of blessings for you, Virgo. This year has been a year of a lot of ups and downs for you, and in the second half of this year, you really get to settle into more stability and positive fruition. You are being guided to use your instincts wisely this month, however, so as to keep blessings rolling. Your ruling planet, Mercury, will be in your 2nd house of income for most of the month, as well as the Sun, and financially, this is a really good month for you.
On October 8th, Venus moves into your sign, and you are receiving and feeling the love right now. Venus will be in your sign until November 8th, and over the next month, this is a good time for your relationships and business, receiving positive feedback, and putting yourself out there. On October 28th, there is a Full Moon Lunar Eclipse happening in your 9th house of adventure, and you could be seeing some travel or education plans coming to fruition now. You are really ready to enjoy how far you have come this month.
LIBRA
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is all about creating your dreams, Libra. This is an exciting month for you and one where you are healing your inner child, gaining a new perspective, and manifesting your life. Libra Season is fully underway, and this is an impactful Libra Season for you, as there is a New Moon Solar Eclipse happening in your sign on the 14th. This Solar Eclipse is your time to shine, to bring your dreams to the forefront, and to let go of the past that doesn’t resonate with you anymore. It’s all about the vision this month; focus on the best one for yourself.
With the Sun and Mercury in your 1st house of self for most of the month and Venus in your 12th house of closures, you are finding your balance between the new and the old. You know there is a lot to release emotionally in your life still, but you are also giving yourself the space and freedom to soak in the good that has already arrived and making you happy right now. On October 23rd, Libra Season ends, and you are ready to focus more on your plans for the future.
SCORPIO
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is a month of rebirth for you, Scorpio. This is one of the most powerful months for you and one where you are starting fresh in many ways. Mercury is in your house of endings for most of the month, and your mind is focused on your spirituality, finding solutions, and letting go of perspectives and habits that don’t serve you or your health. Through the transformations that are occurring right now, new life is coming to fruition.
Mars and Mercury both enter your sign before Scorpio Season begins on the 23rd, and by the end of October, the energy moves from release to receive. You have more energy at your disposal when Mars is in your sign, and you are moving through a time of passion, action, and making things happen for yourself. This Scorpio Season for you is one where you are creating a new life for yourself and following the dreams you left to the wayside.
SAGITTARIUS
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleSagittarius, October is all about the heart and about showing up. This month for you is a time of support, friendship, and community, and a time where you are really discovering who your people are. You are awakening to what your inner child needs to heal and are seeking forgiveness this month. This is a time for you to move toward a new path in your life, one that feels more fulfilling for you and your well-being.
Venus is in Virgo and in your 10th house of career this month, and you are seeing some positive changes within your professional world. You are being received especially favorably right now, and this is a good month to ask for a promotion, network, or redefine your career goals. On October 14th, there is a New Moon Solar Eclipse happening in your 11th house, and your hopes and dreams are coming true for you. The clarity you gain this month is life-changing.
CAPRICORN
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is all about patience, finding your peace, and exploring the world, Capricorn. You are focusing a lot on your belief systems, your intentions, and what goals you have set for yourself and your life. Venus is in your 9th house of adventure for most of the month, and you are really thinking about the big picture right now. You are doing more things differently this time of the year, thinking outside of the box and allowing your intentions to come to fruition.
On October 10th, Pluto goes direct in your sign. Pluto retrograde entered your sign in June, and you finally get to settle into the transformations that have been occurring since then. You’ve had a lot of moments of self-clarity and change, but now you are ready to live in this space and experience fewer changes to your environment. On October 28th, there is a Full Moon Eclipse happening, and this Lunar Eclipse is a time of love coming full circle for you. Relationships are developing at the end of October, and you are letting go of the past in love.
AQUARIUS
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is all about allowing life to unfold effortlessly, Aquarius. The path of least resistance is the most rewarding one, and this month, you are tapping into your inner faith. You have truly been trusting the process, and with the Sun in your 9th house for most of the month, the divine guidance is there for you right now. This month is about trusting that things are coming together for you and enjoying your life how you can right now.
On October 14th, there is a New Moon Solar Eclipse happening, and this eclipse is helping you build new foundations in your life. You have goals you want to set, places you want to see, and people you want to meet, and this eclipse is highlighting all of that for you. The second eclipse of the month is happening on the 28th, and this Lunar Eclipse is about letting things settle in, finding your ground, and nourishing your inner world. You are going within a lot this month, and through the new insight you have found, you are ready to make some concrete decisions that have been needed.
PISCES
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is a time of compassion, nurture, and love, Pisces. You are putting the love into your life and feeling this energy come back to you as well. Venus is in Virgo, your opposite sign, for most of the month, and this is good energy when it comes to your relationships and your love life. Your focus is on the people in your life and where you want things to grow in love, and you are putting in the effort to make your dreams come true for you here.
With the Sun also in your 8th house of commitments for most of the month, another love area of your chart, you can expect this to be a more emotional month for you. You are getting vulnerable, expressing where you stand, and creating a new slate for yourself in love. On October 28th, there is a Full Moon Eclipse happening in your 3rd house of communication, and the messages and insights you have been looking for are coming in.
The end of the month is a busier time for you, and you will be suddenly seeing everything you want to do and plan right now.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
