Group travel is an excellent opportunity to create lifelong memories with the squad while enjoying discounted rates. However, what is often not talked about is how exhausting it is to keep up with the group, look after your friend who got a little too tipsy, and avoid serious side eye when you do say, "Hey girl… I'm going to go off on my own for a little while."
Girl, it is time for you to put solo travel on your future to-do list.
You: A trip? Just me? Are you serious? What will I do?
My Answer: Your thang!
Traveling alone is a great way to learn about yourself, treat yourself, and work on those social skills that some of us lack without feeling embarrassed around your friends. Solo travel is a unique experience where you get to introduce you to yourself. You really get to dive into you by being in an unfamiliar place alone, where you can be whoever you want to be: fearless, fun, and empowered. Though embarking on such a journey can be anxiety-inducing, especially for us wallflowers and novice travelers that would love to get out of our comfort zones, it does not have to be. With these 5 steps, you will learn how to face the challenge of traveling alone head-on and plan a bomb trip!
Do Your Research And Draft Your Own Schedule
One of the most important things to do in order to feel comfortable alone in a foreign place, is to do your research beforehand. This is one of the instances that your friends and family will be great assets because you can ask around about places that you are interested in traveling to. You will be surprised how much information you will receive from your tribe, which may have either visited your desired destination firsthand or can refer you to someone who has. For further information, take your research online (pay close attention to Black Platforms), often there are articles and forums with suggestions, travel advisories, and tips to anywhere in the world you want to go.
Also, keep in mind that having a plan takes away the anxiety of not knowing what to do and where to go. Be flexible with that plan because unexpected excitement might pop up, but make sure you are hitting your solo travel bucket list. Look up restaurants, bars, festivals, and outside activities in the area. Schedule as much exploring time as you do downtime to ensure you are relaxation that you deserve.
Link Up
Use social media and other online platforms to connect with women who have traveled where you want to go so that you aren't blind-sighted. There are plenty of Apps outside of Instagram, like Tourlina, Bumble, and Facebook, where you can engage and even meet up with people in the community that you are visiting. If that is outside of your comfort zone, use the opportunity to visit a friend that lives outside of your area and make plans to meet up at some point. That way you'll have the opportunity to hang out with a familiar face without them permanently crowding your space.
Blend In But Don't Be Afraid To Speak Up
You don't want to look like a complete tourist because some people will try to take advantage of your unfamiliarity, but try to speak to strangers as frequently as you can. If you are lost, find an open, well lit, and high traffic area to ask someone for directions. While you're at it, ask that stranger what his/her favorite bar or restaurant is located because locals be knowing! Who knows…one of the strangers you bump into on your solo travel adventure could be a great connection to have in your future.
Be Better Safe Than Sorry
Now is not the time to grab a dollar cab, stay at a questionable Airbnb/hotel, get wasted, or eat from a suspect food truck. Splurge and give yourself the best/safest experiences while you are traveling alone.
If you are doing an R&R trip, splurge on a reasonable hotel so that you can come back to a clean room and a made up bed. If you like hostels and Airbnbs, research the area instead of going for the lowest price you see. If you are trying to get your Stella's Got Her Groove Back on with an out of town cutie, use your head, protection, and your phone to let at least one soul know where you will be for the night. If this means traveling to a destination closer to home opposed to international for the sake of finances, by all means, choose a place where you can afford to be safe.
Pack Clothes You Are Comfortable And Confident In
This seems like a given but I want women to understand that the solo travel experience is a unique opportunity to be comfortable in your skin. Leave those new 6-inch heels that you haven't broken in at home and pack those cute sandals that you can comfortably walk in. Leave the full lace wig at home and braid up your hair. Many of us use vacation as a time to sport our newest daring outfits and post on Instagram, but if you are insecure about your appearance while traveling alone, you are creating another obstacle for yourself and will likely never leave the room.
Follow these steps and you will embark on an experience that you will never forget. Who knows, it may even become part of your yearly routine. It is perfectly okay to start small and travel to a different state to build up your confidence and finances for a bigger solo trip. Be open to the new experiences that you will likely encounter, and use this opportunity to meet others with similar interests. Make sure to journal and document your trip with pictures or diary entries so that you have memories to look back on.
Trust that you have all that you need to survive and thrive on your own, and enjoy your trip sis.
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The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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