The Stonewall Uprising in Manhattan has been dubbed the catalyst for creating change for the LGBTQ+ community. Over 50 years ago, the queer community at Stonewall Inn decided they had enough of police harassment and they decided to fight back like never before. With bottles, coins, and stones, they literally fought for their civil and human rights — enough was enough. It wasn’t the first time this occurred but there was something different about this riot on June 28, 1969. From then on, the last Sunday in June was celebrated as “Gay Pride Day” and it became a month-long galvanization that we now know as Pride Month.
Pride Month is more than rainbow flags, discounts, and corporate sponsorships. It’s about honoring a community that deserves celebration because love is love. The Library of Congress says, “The purpose of the commemorative month is to recognize the impact that lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender individuals have had on history locally, nationally, and internationally.” And for queer, Black folx it means truly acknowledging intersectionality. To honor some of those beautiful beings, we asked Black queer womxn what Pride means to them, how they show up as their full selves, and what we can do to better celebrate this community during June.
Pronouns: She, Her
Bridgette Young and her wife Veronica Paige
Courtesy of Bridgette Young
What Pride Month means to her:
Pride Month means the celebration of everyone who is like me who embraces a different sexual orientation separate from traditional standards. It’s a time for me to reflect on the community that has fought for the opportunities we currently have--such as marriage and protection from discrimination, although we still have work to do. Consequently, Pride month is a time to cultivate processes and pathways to enable and maintain longevity and continuous progress in the Black queer community.
Finally, visibility and the opportunity to shine at our full potential in personal and professional settings are key elements to success; because when we are loved, accepted, and respected— then we can truly be our authentic selves and rise to excellence.
What she loves most about being Black and queer:
Being Black and queer is truly a beautiful thing. Even though I was born and raised in Jamaica in a multicultural home, I was driven by the strength I saw in my mother and sisters. This motivated me to be a very strong and independent individual who thrives for success in all my endeavors and to be proud of who I am even with my differences.
I feel a sense of power and boldness embodied in immense creativity within our community. The Miami Black Pride Community is close-knit and supportive of the community’s accomplishments. This is something to be delighted and grateful for because support sometimes can be staggering.
How she celebrates Pride Month and makes it her own:
I make Pride Month my own by being more impactful with my visibility. I do this by participating in Pride Month activities at work, attending Pride Month events with my wife Veronica Paige, and living my truth by being my unapologetic authentic self. Last month, on May 24, 2022, Veronica and I got married. We have numerous publications covering our journey to marriage both locally in the U.S. and internationally.
As a multi-racial lesbian woman in America with Jamaican heritage, the intent is to create a platform through exposure and advocate for those who may be considering a similar journey as well as educate the audience who might lack understanding.
What she would like to see change about the celebration of Pride:
Even though we have celebrated many victories in the U.S., there is still lots of work to be done. There are still countless people within our community that face discrimination daily. Threats to queer life don’t have to be deadly, even though many times they are. They also include denied access to employment and healthcare, and forbidden acknowledgment and support to youth in schools. Minority groups are most affected, and frequently they are shunned by their families and end up homeless. The rejection within our community often leads to mental issues causing drug use and depression which is a cause of concern that need to be assessed and addressed.
Also, corporate America should do a better job at standing with the LGBTQ+ community-- not only during Pride Month but all 12 months of the year as active allies. Corporate companies are visible during Pride Month with market-focused ad campaigns and merchandising for profit. However, impactful support is needed in advocating for the queer community to protect our rights against politicians and states who are implementing laws to silence our community in schools and at work i.e. “Don’t Say Gay." Despite the current political climate, I have never seen a more enlightened and nurturing queer community. We are finally lifting as we carry, and I am honored to be a part of this community and to continue the work.
"Threats to queer life don’t have to be deadly, even though many times they are. Minority groups are most affected, and frequently they are shunned by their families and end up homeless. The rejection within our community often leads to mental issues causing drug use and depression which is a cause of concern that need to be assessed and addressed."
Poet, Singer, Songwriter
Pronouns: All
Courtesy of Kerrie Joy
What Pride Month means to them:
It means a month of reflection, remembrance, and mourning. It means rainbows, colorful store aisles, and bold expression. It means facing fears, counting blessings, and kicking down doors. It means coming outs, second chances, and firmer boundaries. I mean, these things happen daily but I do believe we become more hyper-aware and hyper-focused on them during this month. More than anything, this month, I do challenge myself a bit more to walk with my head higher, to be less apologetic, and to truly exist in Pride.
What they love most about being Black and queer:
The love, joy, and comfort that comes with being myself, unapologetically.
How they celebrate and make it their own:
I think it’s vital to celebrate all of the time. I stay in my pockets of dope, Black queer womxn where we see each other and validate each other because the world around us tends to find ways to erase us. So I surround myself with dope Black womxn and we celebrate every moment we can.
What they would like to see change about the celebration of Pride:
In general, I’d love to see the stories of Black, brown, and Indigenous people being centered in national Pride events, conversations, legislation, etc. The reality of intersectionality and compounded marginalization requires that we focus on those who have been closest to oppression. We don’t tend to practice that on a national level with Pride. We don’t really see it locally either. However, I do see certain people trying. I was happy to see when Pride in Denver moved its weekend because of Juneteenth.
But then again, that should already be one of the most celebrated moments of liberation in this country. Either way, we definitely have work to do if our Black queer and trans women are still one of the most targeted populations with personal and systemic violence. Until their worlds are safe, it’s impossible that any of ours truly could be. You should go out of your way to give love, reparations, and/or honor to a Black girl today. It’ll bless you.
"The reality of intersectionality and compounded marginalization requires that we focus on those who have been closest to oppression. We don’t tend to practice that on a national level with Pride. Either way, we definitely have work to do if our Black queer and trans women are still one of the most targeted populations with personal and systemic violence. Until their worlds are safe, it’s impossible that any of ours truly could be."
Content Creator for the LGBTQ and Body Positivity communities
Pronouns: She, Her
Courtesy of Kyanna Alexandra
What Pride Month means to her:
When I think of what Pride Month means to me, I think of freedom and the power it brings to myself and everyone else who is celebrating this Pride season, whether they're out or not. Pride to me means that I can present myself in any way that I see fit that is true to me, as well as a reminder that we as LGBTQ people are still fighting for basic human rights. We're constantly in a battle and at war with people who don't understand how queer people live, nor do they wish to accept us. So Pride Month as a whole is a constant reminder that we still have work to do, no matter how much progress has been made. I also feel a sense of entitlement, and I'm not sure where that comes from, but I know when June first rolls around, I know it's all about me and the LGBTQ community, and how we as queer people make this world a happier place simply by being ourselves. Also, we party the best.
What she loves most about being Black and queer:
What I love most about being Black and queer is the uniqueness that it brings and the diversity that comes with it. While I know that both are celebrated and hated in some spaces, it doesn't stop me from feeling powerful and in charge of myself. There's something rich and undyingly beautiful about being Black and a woman. My Blackness is powerful, it commands rooms and it puts fear in people who see Black as a threat. In the same breath, my queerness is fun and exciting. It's the extra cherry on top when people see my Black ass walk into a room, and to announce that I'm queer is exhilarating because I know it's another layer for people to understand and educate themselves about me and how I represent myself within both identities.
How she celebrates Pride Month and makes it her own:
When I celebrate Pride, I celebrate the entire month of June so hard and so fiercely that come July 1, I'm tired but in a good way. Pride Month is a great time for me to connect with other LGBTQ content creators, a way to attend parties that cater to the LGBTQ community and of course, attend the multiple parades across the state. But aside from attending parties and parades, I also like to attend events where queer people are the focus, such as panels, mixers, and networking functions. Being involved in the community and taking advantage of the hundreds of get-togethers that one can attend or get invited to is a way where I make Pride my own.
What she would like to see change about the celebration of Pride:
There are a couple of things that I would like to see changed when it comes to the celebration of Pride. One of the biggest things that annoy me, and probably a lot of other people, is the rainbow capitalism that happens rapidly throughout the last week of May. Companies rush to push out their Pride merchandise, of course, in hopes that LGBTQ consumers purchase them, but I can't help to believe that if a company isn't genuine about celebrating LGBTQ people 365 days out of the year, then I find the acts performative and leech-worthy to make a quick buck from the community.
The second thing that I feel needs to change is a bit more specific and comes within the content creation. Companies want to show their inclusivity by hiring us to promote their brand/business during Pride Month, but want to pay us in product and not for our time in creating the piece of content with a list of deliverables. Furthermore, companies undercut us as LGBTQ creators by not paying us our worth. It's things like these that create a gap between members of the LGBTQ community and those that are not. We are human, and we deserve to be paid as such and not any lesser due to the category we fall into.
We all get to celebrate Pride in whatever way we deem fit. No matter what happens, no matter what we go through in life, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. I thought I would never get the chance to see the day when I go to Pride events and parties and meet people within the community because I didn't know where to start. I am the first and only person in my family to be a member of the LGBTQ community, and after what I have been through with my mother disowning me, it's days like these I thought I would never see, and I appreciate them the most.
"There's something rich and undyingly beautiful about being Black and a woman. My Blackness is powerful, it commands rooms and it puts fear in people who see Black as a threat. In the same breath, my queerness is fun and exciting. It's the extra cherry on top when people see my Black ass walk into a room, and to announce that I'm queer is exhilarating."
Pronouns: She, Her
Courtesy of JasandTee
What Pride Month means to JasandTee:
To us, Pride means so much more than a celebration, it's more than rainbows and parades. Pride is something we all have inside us. It's a way of life. It's our journeys, our past, and our future. Pride is who we are or who we ought to be. Most people aren't fully comfortable with who they are. If you spend 11 months not feeling comfortable or aligned within yourself, let the month of June be the one month you get out there and celebrate yourself, your boldness, your queerness, your rights, and your purpose. Pride is the voice for the ones who can't find their own.
What they love most about being Black and queer:
Being Black and queer is our identity and it makes us so proud to know how supple our ancestors were. What we love most about being Black and queer is the fact that we get to be a positive representation of what love looks like. Growing up, Black love wasn’t something you saw advertised. In fact, in most cases, most movies or shows reflected dysfunction within the Black community and Black households. Being able to love out loud is one of the best things that happened to us. Hiding our true selves is a form of dysfunction. Today, we are breaking that cycle by living in our truth. By being unapologetically Black and queer.
How they celebrate Pride Month and make it their own:
Jas and I celebrate Pride by going to some of our favorite stores like Target and Old Navy to shop their Pride collection. We also like to go to our local Pride events with some of our closest friends.
What they would like to see change about the celebration of Pride:
We would like to see more heterosexual people celebrate Pride. You don’t have to be a part of the LGBTQ+ community to celebrate queer individuals. We say this because most people can attest to knowing someone who is queer and no matter their place in your life they should be celebrated. Choosing to stay silent in fear of association isn’t much of a celebration.
Being content creators has allowed us to tap into advocacy. Having a platform has also allowed us to connect with more people than ever before. Hearing all the stories and watching the growth of our followers has inspired us to continue to be a voice in our LGBTQ+ community. Our goal is to be able to reach people all over the world. This entire journey has been eye-opening. We realized how much exclusion and discrimination the LGBTQ+ community face on a daily basis.
"What we love most about being Black and queer is the fact that we get to be a positive representation of what love looks like. Being able to love out loud is one of the best things that happened to us. Hiding our true selves is a form of dysfunction. Today, we are breaking that cycle by living in our truth. By being unapologetically Black and queer."
Community Builder, Radio Host, Social Media Guru, DJ
Pronouns: She, Her
Courtesy of Demi Harvey
What Pride Month means to her:
Pride Month is a celebration of life, love, community, and resistance. It’s an opportunity to live life to the fullest and share in that joy with others.
What she loves most about being Black and queer:
My uniqueness! My experience is one of a kind. It’s a blending of cultures. It is everything.
How she celebrates and makes Pride Month her own:
I love trying new things, visiting new spaces, and meeting new people so I make a point of that every Pride. Expanding my horizons and getting out of my comfort zone.
What she wants to see change about the celebration of Pride:
I want my people to feel safe and free to be themselves. There’s lots of ways in which that is challenged at national Pride celebrations, but I want queer people to know that there is community out there for you beyond national Pride celebrations.
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Featured image courtesy of Kyanna Alexander
RELATED
So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
It’s not like it has to be a bad thing. In fact, studies say that somewhere around 15 percent of engaged couples actually met through a friend. All I’m saying is, before you entertain someone’s “I’ve got someone I want you to meet” invitation, it would benefit you to interview them first — for the sake of all parties involved.
The questions that I recommend asking? The following six are what I think can get everyone on the same page, so that there is more pleasure than regret from the hook-up attempt.
1. Why Are They So Invested?
GiphyTwo things that I recently watched over again are the series Survivor’s Remorse (the writing is so damn good) and a movie called Trapped in Temptation (both are currently on Tubi). Something that both of them made me think about is the fact that motive reveals a lot when it comes to why people say and do the things that they do.
When it comes to the movie, specifically, without giving the film away — let me just say that, if you are in a relationship, be really careful about listening to individuals who try to talk you out of maintaining it. More times than not, the motive is shady as hell. And honestly, sometimes people who are close to obsessed with you being in one deserve a bit of side-eye too.
Now, if it’s someone who loves all things love, they are in love and they want you to experience something similar — that’s sweet. Just make sure that they are approaching the set up from a healthy space. What I mean by that is they don’t see singleness as some sort of relational handicap or they aren’t trying to override what you want for your life as if they somehow know better (there are so many ways to be a control freak, y’all).
Hmph. Now that I think about it — make sure that the set-up crew isn’t trying to use you to “save” some male friend or relative of theirs. I say that because I once knew a mother whose son had — count ‘em — 10 kids and she was FOREVER trying to get me to date him. Girl, that wasn’t for me. She was looking for a Holy Ghost Jr. for that child of hers. I’ll pass. HARD PASS.
Bottom line with this one — if someone wants to set you up with someone else, the first thing to ask is why? Make sure to really listen to what their answer is. Then pay attention to if your mind, body and spirit are at peace with their answer(s).
2. Do They Know What You Want?
GiphyI don’t know about y’all, but the people (and let’s be honest, by far, it’s usually women) who have tried to set me up with someone? They didn’t even know what my preferences or type was. Hell, they didn’t even know my thoughts or timeline as it relates to being in a serious relationship were either. And what that boils down to is they were trying to hook me up based on their agenda, not mine — and that usually meant that the guys who they came up with? Yeah…I was good on them. LOL.
Yeah, if someone wants to hook you up, you definitely should ask them if they know what you are looking for in a guy when it comes to his looks, personality, passions, spirituality, relational desires and goals, location, etc. Because, indeed, what is the point in going out with someone who is fine as hell and yet, you want kids and he doesn’t (or vice versa) or who has a great personality yet he isn’t even in the same ballpark of your spiritual beliefs?
If your friend really wants to help you out, valuing your time should come with that — and that means bringing someone into your life who complements your lifestyle. No wiggle room here.
3. Are They Aware of Your Deal-Breakers?
GiphyLast year, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “Should Bad Sex Actually Be A Relationship Deal-Breaker?” The thing that I think needs to go on record about deal-breakers is they aren’t exactly standards that you have. No, a deal-breaker is something that can’t be worked out even after trying to negotiate or compromise. When it comes to relationships, a deal-breaker might be how long two people should date before becoming exclusive or getting engaged. Another deal-breaker might be if being religious is more important than being spiritual and how that manifests itself (church or no church, etc.). And yes, another deal-breaker may be what each other’s sexual needs and expectations are.
When someone is setting you up, it is imperative that they know about your standards. For instance, for me, I am not interested in dating a divorced person, pretty much ever (I Corinthians 7:10-11). I’ve had friends who have tried to hook me up with that demographic before and it has always been a moot effort. The fact that some of them have gotten frustrated with my convictions has absolutely nothing to do with me. Some have tried to get me to compromise my deal-breakers too — like a long-distance relationship. Is it a firm “naw”? No. However, it’s not really something that I am interested in, so why not just…recommend someone local?
Yeah, if someone thinks that they know you well enough to hook you up, they absolutely should be well-versed in what your deal-breakers are before they do. And if they’ve never asked, all they are doing is assuming — and we know what that typically means. LOL.
4. What Is Their Track Record?
GiphyIt’s kind of wild that we now live in a time when more couples meet online than they do through “old-fashioned ways” like via their friends (although some reports say that Gen Z is getting back to that) — and yet, here we are. Still, if you are willing to let someone play pseudo matchmaker in your life, you are well within your rights to inquire about their track record in that department. Have they hooked others up, successfully, before? Has any of their “Cupid work” caused both people to get exactly what they wanted out of the situation? If/when things went awry, why was that?
I know someone who is constantly trying to hook people up. Thing is, maybe 10-15 percent (no joke) of their efforts have proven to be positive and fruitful — and we’re talking about close to close to two decades of them doing it. Listen, time is too precious to be out here doing stuff ONLY to please other people. That said, if someone wants you to devote some time to one of their grand ideas, you are well within your rights to ask about their past and current success score when it comes to it.
5. Can They Keep Their Own Feelings Out of It?
GiphyWanna know if someone who is offering to do something for you is actually doing it more for themselves? If they try to make it be about them when things don’t go the way they would like, that is a dead ringer. An example? They post a message about you on social media and then question you about why you didn’t do the same thing in return. Another example? They do something for you and then throw it in your face during an argument. Still another example? They set you up with someone, it doesn’t work out, and suddenly you’ve put them in a weird spot. No dear — you put your own self in that position by trying to hook two people up in the first place.
I promise you, it will spare everyone unnecessary energy spent (or even drama experienced) if, before you agree to be hooked up, you get the matchmaker on record stating that they will keep their emotions out of it as much as possible. MEANING — they will do the introductions and then let the chips fall where they may. If they can’t do this, my two cents (save it or spend it) would be to decline the offer. Because all you need is someone texting you about why you haven’t called their cousin back or having an attitude with you when you break up with some guy at their church who they thought was the perfect catch (P.S. These aren’t hypothetical examples — LOL).
6. Will They Respect Your Boundaries? Start to Finish?
GiphyYeah, this final one is a biggie. Just because someone sets you up with another person, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily mean that they should have the right to the details of the dynamic. I don’t care if it’s the first date or the 10th date. I don’t care if you decide to just be sex buddies or to have a full-blown relationship. I don’t care if you stay together or break-up — it’s your relationship which makes it your business. Whatever you share is privileged data.
Yeah, I would say that probably the most challenging thing about being hooked up by someone you know is they have a tendency to think that they are a part of the relationship too — and that is a lie. If things go well beyond a couple of dates, you and the guy should discuss what you will both share with the person who introduced you and then agree to stick to that boundary, no matter what. It’s a great way to protect the dynamic, to keep “outside voices” from influencing the growth and to navigate how you want to move, moving forward.
Someone who hooked you up for the right reasons and knows how to honor limits? They will understand. Will they ask questions? Absolutely. Will they pry? Nah.
___
Should you sit and let someone hook you up? I mean, you never know how your blessing will come. Just make sure that they are prepared for you to do some digging into their mindset before they start sweetly meddling into your love life.
It’s only fair. Hell, and right. LOL.
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