TikTok has quickly become the go-to platform for all things beauty. With trends like the “clean girl makeup look” and “slugging” filling our “For You” pages, beauty lovers are inspired to level up their routines. As a result, #BeautyTikTok is evolving rapidly with new beauty hacks and influencers rising every day, making groundbreaking impacts on their community. TikTok seems to be the “perfect platform” for beauty influencers to grow, yet there’s still a wide gap for creatives of color, and Black creatives, in particular, to be seen.
Black creatives have been vocal about the recent inequalities on the platform. There has been a clear gap between exposure and opportunity from the algorithm for brand deals. There have also been unfortunate cases of content being stolen from Black creatives without any credit or recognition. As a creative myself, there have been times when I’ve felt like I had to put in more effort than my counterparts just to be noticed and when I've had to advocate for myself in order to be paid my worth. However, I love my community, so I continue to push forward and create, an adage many creatives of color live by.
In an effort to shed light on the Black content creators in the TikTok space, xoNecole chatted with five Black beauty TikTokers about their journey and experiences in the social media landscape.
Finding Your Voice and Pushing Forward
Victoria Azubuike, Beauty and Lifestyle Content Creator
Courtesy of Victoria Azubuike
“My growth as a content creator has been prolonged, and then it dramatically increased recently. I’ve recently understood my voice on TikTok and Instagram and what I want to convey to my audience. I dabbled in a few niches when I first started - mainly fashion and motivational content. Now, I’ve finally learned how to show up for myself and the community I serve. There’s no such thing as an overnight success. This journey is years of trying and sometimes feeling like giving up, there was a point I wanted to quit Instagram, as I just wasn't seeing the results... Then things finally changed. Thankfully, I found my voice.
There’s no such thing as an overnight success. This journey is years of trying and sometimes feeling like giving up, there was a point I wanted to quit Instagram, as I just wasn't seeing the results... Then things finally changed.
"I'm learning to show up as my authentic self daily, and share elements of my journey with my community. I'm learning loads, it's a process and reminding myself not to overthink certain things and think about what I would want/need to hear from somebody else. It’s not easy. However, I’m learning it’s important to still show up as my authentic self. I used to use many filters, and this year, I decided to show up as I am - even with a pimple on my face. Through time I’ve realized people respect that more. My community wants to hear from me, the content creator, and that doesn’t always mean showing up with makeup or being perfect. I’m very grateful for my community. They inspire me to push through and show up no matter my challenges."
Representation and Unity
Damilola Adejonwo, Beauty Content Creator
Courtesy of Damilola Adejonwo
"My journey as a content creator has been incredible, but at the same time, it has come with a lot of responsibility. Due to the racial climate, I always take it upon myself to show people how to respect me as a gay and Black man. Content and representation are important because they show who we are and where we come from. I want to show people that there are people who are gay, Black, and wear makeup. It’s so important to see that. I’m happy that I can show that side of myself. Although it has been a good journey for me, I think we have a lot more to do to feel fully included.
"Whenever you’re honest about your path, it’s always hard. I’ve been through so much in my life, but creating has been so therapeutic for me. Talking to the camera and sharing my story has helped many other people and me. The process allowed me to heal and have the career I have today.
Whenever you’re honest about your path, it’s always hard. I’ve been through so much in my life, but creating has been so therapeutic for me. Talking to the camera and sharing my story has helped many other people and me. The process allowed me to heal and have the career I have today.
"Believing in myself is what helped me overcome my challenges and build community. However, what I learned through that is to take time for myself. Mental health and taking a break are so important. Especially if I want to be the change, I also have to be the action. Remember to take breaks, be inspired, and know what needs to change in our community. In my community, I feel like we’re not always included, so now I make it my responsibility to include everyone for us to be unified. If I don’t take that action, other people won’t either."
Staying Positive and Being True to Yourself
Brinkley, Natural Hair Content Creator
Courtesy of Brinkley
"In the beginning, being a content creator felt easy and came out of nowhere for me. As I put in more work, I felt like I had seen less engagement. I know it’s because I am a creator of color. These days I see those who aren't part of our community do less and blow up because TikTok is showing their content. However, Black creators are constantly getting shadowbanned or not ending up on the #ForYouPage. I have over 200,000 followers, and I’m only getting 1,000 views - something is not adding up. At some point, It was disheartening, and I thought about quitting because I was putting in so much work. I can’t give up on my online community.
"Being a hair content creator, representation is important. People want to see people who look like them. I’ve realized there aren’t many people who look like me on the platform, which explains the lack of views I’m receiving. If my beauty content gets pushed out to a white audience, it will probably not do well because the relatability isn’t there.
Being a hair content creator, representation is important. People want to see people who look like them. I’ve realized there aren’t many people who look like me on the platform, which explains the lack of views I’m receiving. If my beauty content gets pushed out to a white audience, it will probably not do well because the relatability isn’t there.
"My biggest challenge has been staying positive. There are times when I do get discouraged or receive hate comments that make me feel like giving up. These are the moments when it’s important to remember who you are and not let anyone’s opinions define you. The biggest lesson has been staying true to myself. When you’re true to yourself, you can be proud of what you accomplish."
Focusing on Your Joy and What You Can Control
Alyssa Francois, Beauty + Lifestyle Influencer
Courtesy of Alyssa Francois
"My journey as a content creator has been one of the most rewarding experiences, and I'm not referring to money. Being able to cultivate a community, learn from them and offer them value is one of the best feelings. However, so many challenges come with being a content creator of color. It often feels like I have to be working 1000 times harder to get the credit or pay I deserve from brands that reach out to partner with me. This could be discouraging, but I do my best to focus on what I can control. What is in my control is making sure the content I share about healing is inspiring, educational, enjoyable, attainable, and something one looks forward to doing because healing can be ugly at times.
What is in my control is making sure the content I share about healing is inspiring, educational, enjoyable, attainable, and something one looks forward to doing because healing can be ugly at times.
"After being diagnosed with endometriosis in 2021, I embarked on a holistic healing journey because I've learned that healing goes beyond the food on your plate and medications. Taking my community on my holistic healing journey has also helped me find new ways to become and feel beautiful from the inside first. I felt that I was making a positive impact as a Black content creator when women of all walks of life reached out to me, thanking me for sharing my endometriosis journey.
"I didn't know that simply opening up more about my autoimmune disease would be interesting to my community. Being a content creator and sharing my journey to help others brings me so much joy, and I want to make sure it continuously feels this way for me."
The Power of Pivoting and Being the Change You Want To See
Trennei Adams, Beauty Influencer
Courtesy of Trennei Adams
"As a woman of color who hasn’t been in this industry very long, my experience has been great! I love the community I’ve built and continue to grow. However, I felt a lack when building a true community on TikTok. I decided to pivot over to Instagram, started taking it seriously, and posting consistently. That’s when my community started to build and form. Something about Instagram feels more intimate to me; it has now become my main platform.
"I realized I was making more of an impact on Instagram as the messages would come through. Women were thanking me for inspiring them and being transparent. Those messages mean the world to me. People are drawn to what they relate to.More than anything, I believe the world needs more kind souls. Society has made it to where it’s rare to be both kind and attractive. I am here to show that you can be both.
People are drawn to what they relate to. More than anything, I believe the world needs more kind souls. Society has made it to where it’s rare to be both kind and attractive. I am here to show that you can be both.
"I’m unapologetic about being the change I want to see. I want to see more women cheering other women on. I want vulnerability. I want to see women evolving and stepping into their power, loving themselves fiercely and confidently while also holding space for the woman next to them!
"I want young Black girls to see that whatever they want to achieve in this lifetime is possible. You can be poised, classy, well-spoken, kind, educated, have nice things, go to therapy, etc. I want that to be normal for us Black women and not a shock! My platform exudes the change I would like to see more of."
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Featured image courtesy of Trennei Adams
In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
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Feeling (or being) taken for granted. I can’t tell you how many calls, emails, or texts I’ve received where a husband or wife is totally at their wit’s end because they feel like their spouse is not grateful for the things that they do. And when you keep on giving, and the other person isn’t appreciative, that really is the beginning of a downward spiral, one that can be hard to come back from if you let too much time pass by.
So, in the spirit of Thanksgiving being just a few days away (where is this year going, y’all?!), I asked 12 wives to share with me some of the not-so-immediately-obvious things that they proactively do to let the number one man in their life know that they see him, they love him, and they are oh so very thankful for him — each and every day that they “do life” together. May it inspire you to stay the course (if you’re already doing something on your own), follow suit, or come up with a way to love on your boo thang in a similar fashion as well.
*Middle names have been used so that people can speak freely*
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Diane. 37. Married for 11 Years.
“If a lot of women were honest, they’d own the fact that most of the dates that they go on with their boo consist of things that they want to do more than what he does; at the most, it’s a compromise on his part. My husband and I try and go on two dates a month: he plans one, and I plan one. What I try to do on mine is either come up with something that I know he will enjoy or at least ask him if there’s something that he would like to do. Not all of his answers are things that I like, but it has expanded my world a lot. I’ve learned about soccer. I’ve gone skydiving. I’ve definitely tried some new foods. And he feels like I care about what he cares about. He feels appreciated, so it works.”
Wychelle. 42 Married for 15 Years.
“Around every six weeks, I have a DIY pamper day at home. It’s not for both of us, it’s for my husband only. I will give him a facial, rub his feet, give him a manicure, run him a bath with some lavender oil and Epsom salt, and prepare his favorite meal while his favorite music plays. He really looks forward to those days, and I’ve found that we have the most intimate conversations then. He said it’s because his guard is totally down because I make him feel cherished during those moments. That’s why I like doing it so much.”
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Astrid. 37. Married for 10 Years.
“I wish I could do it more than this, but I try to let my husband stay in bed, all day, at least once a season [four times a year]. Between our kids and our hectic schedule, even that’s close to impossible, but I will get the kids over to somebody’s house for at least a night, if not a whole weekend, so that he can sleep in, I can make him breakfast in bed, he can have sole control of the remote, we can have some what we call ‘loud sex,’ and he can take long naps. He literally lives for those days, and I’m happy to do it!”
Oakland. 25. Married for One Year.
“One of the ‘wife mentors’ in my life often says that being a Black man in this country is a very thankless position. So, I try and send my husband random thank-you texts throughout the day: ‘Thank you’ for cooking dinner last night; ‘Thank you’ for being cool about my breaking the budget on my Target runs; ‘Thank you’ for just being yourself. I usually get an ‘I love you’ reply afterwards. I love that.”
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Eve. 31. Married for Six Years.
“My husband is an extrovert. I am anything but, so a way that we had to strike a compromise was to do some day or weekend trips since I’m not the biggest people person or traveler. We will take a major trip once a year, but in between those times, I’ll look for a town or city that is no more than 6-8 hours, and we’ll tour that. It helps to keep him not feeling so antsy about always having to stay close to home; plus, he says that he loves that I am willing to step out of my comfort zone that way — because he knows that, if it were up to me, I’d be home all day, every day.”
Larissa. 46. Married for Eight Years.
“I took a big leap of faith and quit my job this year to follow my passion. Our kids are in college, and we saved up enough money for the past three years for me to do it. It’s still a sacrifice on my husband’s part because he’s remaining in a position that he’s not thrilled with so that I can make my dreams happen. One way that I show him how grateful I am for the sacrifice is I purchase things that feed into his own passion projects which are all music-related. I get equipment when I can. I’m constantly sending him podcasts and videos about it. I get him concert tickets. I try to do things to let him know that this is only a season — he will be able to do his thing too…soon.”
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Yvonne. 24. Married for 11 Years.
“At the end of every month, I jot down at least 15 things that I really appreciated that he did that month and I post it on the fridge. I think it’s important that he sees it and our children because they need to know that their mommy sees their father. They also need to get used to seeing what happens ‘behind the scenes’ that they might not know about — things that keep the ball rolling around here.”
Serenity. 46. Married for 21 Years.
“I don’t nag my husband, and it’s as simple as that. How many times have you heard that a man just wants some peace? In my over 20 years of marriage, I’ve learned that the best way to show a man how much you care about him is to give him what he needs, and no man needs to feel like he’s always being hounded about something all of the time. A lot of you won’t listen, but I’ve got some experience under my belt. Give that man peace, and he’ll feel like you’re thankful for him.”
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Chayla. 27. Married for Three Years.
“One of the best things that I ever did for my marriage is actually something that you recommended. Remember how, during our first year, I was in some serious marriage culture shock, and you said that I should try the ‘respect challenge’? I grew up in the Church, and so I knew about what the Bible says about respecting your husband but no one really explained what that looks like. Once a year, I will do the challenge, and it’s like ‘pushing reset’ in a lot of ways. He feels more appreciated, and he goes out of his way to indulge me during those times.”
Lynn. 33. Married for One Year.
“Something that my parents and grandparents did is put a gratitude journal on their nightstand: one for the husband and the other for the wife. They committed to put something that they were grateful for when it came to one another, no less than twice a week. Both [couples] are still married. My husband and I are carrying the tradition.”
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Athena. 33. Married for Five Years.
“I cook four nights a week, my husband cooks two, and we either go out once a week or order in. My husband is gonna eat whatever I prepare, but we’re both foodies. That’s why, once a week, I ask him for his personal request and make that. He loves that. It’s my way of showing him that I ‘see’ him, and since I haven’t grocery shopped in over a year now, it’s not stressful to do at all.”
Thalia. 50. Married for 30 Years.
“My husband and I have been going on ‘I thank you walks’ after dinner for the past 27 years or so. In the beginning of our marriage, we both were resentful because we weren’t raised to apologize or show gratitude. One day, I read an article about a couple who took thank-you strolls in order to get some quality time in and to tell each other why they were thankful for each other. They said it changed their marriage, and it improved ours too. We do it every night. It’s a tradition and, sometimes, the very best part of our day.”
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Author Brené Brown once said, "I don't have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness—it's right in front of me if I'm paying attention and practicing gratitude." Just imagine how much more awesome marriage would be to so many, if they applied this to, not only being grateful for their spouse but expressing their gratitude to them. Not just on Thanksgiving but every day. I hope this inspires you to do just that.
Good husbands are a true blessing. Make sure that they know that you know it. Often.
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