

As a person who suffers from anxiety, I am always on the hunt for new ways to deal with unpleasant symptoms. Sure, the traditional routes of speaking with a therapist, contacting a friend, and using CBT workbooks have helped me make great improvements, but it never hurts to expand your toolkit.
This year, one of the goals I set for myself was finding ways to independently conquer my fears. Attempting to self-soothe when I'm alone and don't have the mental energy to complete exercises at home left me yearning for more options.
Naturally, as a writer and avid reader, I set my sights on the bookstore. I've always been wary of self-help books and found that the positive effects wane shortly after reading the last chapter. I had a list of my favorite quotes, affirmations, and inspiring speeches on hand in case of emergencies, but I was in search of something life-changing. I did a deep dive into books on religion, performing arts, spirituality, philosophy, and psychiatry.
A universal truth that was communicated throughout almost all of the works I read was that the person most equipped to guide you towards an anxiety-free future is yourself.
I'll admit that no matter how close I've gotten to my therapist, family, or friends, there are just some things I am taking to the grave! However, being brutally honest with myself has some perks that have allowed me to work towards a better version of myself in the comfort of my own home. I've learned these skills from a few non-traditional self-help books.
These 4 books have stuck with me throughout the years. Words from each chapter have sat in the back of my mind, silently working their magic and allowing me to become a more positive, open-minded individual.
'Awareness: The Perils and Opportunities of Reality' by Anthony De Mello
Amazon
I love a sturdy hardcover or paperback edition, but I love this book so much that I also have it in eBook form so I can access it anywhere. The author, Anthony De Mello, was a Jesuit priest with refreshingly progressive views. He believed that the cause of anxiety stemmed from rigid beliefs and the unwillingness to examine them.
"There is only one cause of unhappiness: the false beliefs you have in your head, beliefs so widespread, so commonly held, that it never occurs to you to question them."
Awareness is chock-full of funny anecdotes from De Mello's own life. One common theme throughout the book is that people's interpretations of a situation are a direct result of their conditioning and current disposition.
"If you find me charming, it means that right now you're in a good mood, nothing more."
"We see people and things not as they are, but as we are."
At less than 200 pages, Awareness is a quick and insightful read that can increase self-awareness while providing a few laughs along the way.
‘The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself’ by Michael A. Singer
Amazon
I was sold on this book from the title of the first chapter alone ("The Voice Inside Your Head"). This lighthearted spirituality-based book is paced perfectly which ultimately leads to the shocking revelation that you have complete control of your annoying "inner roommate". Nope, I don't mean the person who you go half on rent and utilities, I'm talking about your constant internal dialogue.
"There is nothing more important to true growth than realizing that you are not the voice of the mind - you are the one who hears it"
It doesn't stop at acquiring self-awareness for Singer, he takes it a step further by showing you how to serve your annoying roommate an eviction notice.
"When a problem is disturbing you, don't ask, 'What should I do about it?' Ask, 'What part of me is being disturbed by this?'
Much like De Mello, Singer wants you to challenge your beliefs instead of suppressing negative feelings. You'll find that approaching problems that way helps resolve minor issues almost instantly. Now that you've shown negativity the door, you can choose which thoughts you want to engage with or let go of because:
"The truth is that most of life will unfold in accordance with forces far outside your control, regardless of what your mind says about it."
‘Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life’ by Anne Lamott
The Good Copy
Although Bird by Bird is partly a book geared toward improving writing skills, Lamott's advice can be used by anyone regardless of their chosen field. Especially because the author believes the best work comes from people who write for themselves. She gives practical advice that is often overlooked in a society that praises ambition at the risk of your mental health. There is absolutely nothing wrong with competing in a race to the top, but enjoying the journey would certainly make it more fulfilling spiritually and financially.
"We are a species that needs and wants to understand who we are. Sheep lice do not seem to share this longing, which is one reason why they write so little. But we do. We have so much we want to say and figure out."
Whether you might be anxious to pick up a new hobby or change careers, Lamott's best advice is simply to get started without worrying about how others might perceive your actions.
"Don't look at your feet to see if you are doing it right. Just dance."
‘Neurosis and Human Growth: The Struggle Toward Self-Realization’ by Karen Horney, MD
The most badass thing about Karen Horney's studies is that she challenged Sigmund Freud's views on feminine psychology which she criticized for being wide off the mark. She directly responded to some of his most popular theories in her book aptly titled Feminine Psychology.
As a psychoanalyst whose career began in the early 1900s, Horney is not for the faint of heart. However, Neurosis and Human Growth break the human psyche down in layman's terms. This classic self-help book will leave your jaw on the floor.
"The neurotic, as long as he must adhere to his illusions about himself, cannot recognize limitations, the search for glory goes into the unlimited. Because the main goal is the attainment of glory, he becomes uninterested in the process of learning, of doing, or of gaining step by step — indeed, tends to scorn it. He does not want to climb a mountain; he wants to be on the peak. Hence he loses the sense of what evolution or growth means, even though he may talk about it. Because, finally, the creation of the idealized self is possible only at the expense of truth about himself, its actualization requires further distortions of truth, imagination being a willing servant to this end."
At times, some passages hit too close to home but also reminded me that the anxieties we deal with today are far from unique.
"It is naturally a sign of inner liberation when a patient can squarely recognize his difficulties and take them with a grain of humor. But some patients at the beginning of analysis make incessant jokes about themselves or exaggerate their difficulties in so dramatic a way that they will appear funny, while they are at the same time absurdly sensitive to any criticism. In these instances, humor is used to take the sting out of otherwise unbearable shame."
Her scientific but simple approach to self-analysis differs only in delivery from De Mello, Singer, and Lamott's, but the lesson is the same. It's always great to maintain a variety of resources for mental wellness, and self-analysis shouldn't be used in lieu of professional help. But take pride in knowing that you are the most valuable resource when it comes to overcoming any obstacle.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
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Chantel Turner is a Los Angeles based writer who's passionate about mental health, philosophy, and pop culture. You can reach me by email at CTTWrites[at]gmail.com or https://chantelturner.contently.com.
Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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10 Moms You Should Be Following Who Are Living, Loving & Mothering On Their Own Terms
Motherhood is looking different these days, and we must say, we love to see it. From digital creators to wellness entrepreneurs, today's moms are showing up online not just as caretakers, but as the multi-faceted, multi-layered women they are.
These moms are building businesses, creating art, prioritizing their rest, healing generational trauma, and redefining what it means to raise a child while staying rooted and true to their own identities.
Most importantly, these women aren't just sharing cute baby pics (although we live for those, too!), they're giving us the real about being mothers while also being themselves, creative expression, and the blueprint for what it means to embody themselves fully.
Whether they are documenting the beauty in the chaos of parenting or making space for their own passions, the following mamas serve as reminders that motherhood is not a monolith. Keep reading for some Black moms who deserve a spot on your TL if they aren't there already.
@brookedevard
Brooke DeVard is a beauty podcaster, content creator, and style muse who’s redefining what it means to do it all, with intention and grace. Whether she’s behind the mic as the host on Naked Beautyor holding both her babies in a quiet moment of joy, Brooke shows that you don’t have to choose between your passions and your presence. Sis is living proof that you can lead, nurture, and glow, all at once.
@yvettecorinne
Yvette Corinne is a digital creator and co-founder of Hair for the Girls, who’s showing us what it means to embrace the ups and downs of postpartum with honesty, humor, and heart. Through candid reflections and style-forward moments, she reminds fellow mamas that beauty, chaos, and grace can all coexist on one’s postpartum journey. And that joy can be found in the smallest wins.
@eliserpeterson
Elise R. Peterson is a visual artist, children’s book illustrator, and host of the Cool Moms podcast who uses storytelling as a form of liberation, for herself and for other creatives. Whether she’s nurturing her son, Sargent, or curating space for honest conversations on identity and artistry, Elise is a reminder that motherhood can be a portal for deeper self-expression as opposed to a limitation of it.
@loveoffering
Josefina is a mindful artist and writer whose work feels like a warm exhale in a world that often moves too fast. Through poetic captions on healing, tender family moments, and her Substack newsletter cuídate, she offers gentle reminders that in motherhood and in life, presence, grace, and emotional connection matter far more than perfection.
@jalisaevaughn
JaLisa E. Jefferson is a Dallas-based digital creator, wife, and mom of three whose motherhood journey is equal parts joy, faith, and full-blown toddler chaos. Through honest reflections and heartfelt storytelling, she reminds us that the little things, like bedtime bribes, belly laughs, and beautifully messy routines, are often life’s biggest blessings. Her love for her life runs deep, and her gratitude shows up in every frame she posts.
@theprettygirlsguide
DeAnna Bobbi is a DMV-based mom blogger whose content brings the laughs, the looks, and the real talk about motherhood, pregnancy, and everything in between. Whether she’s giving mom hacks or documenting her 25-week Brazilian wax with zero shame and all the humor, DeAnna reminds us that honesty (with a side of style) is a superpower in this season of life.
@elainewelteroth
Elaine Welteroth is a bestselling author, former Teen Vogue EIC, and founder of BirthFUND, using her platform to fight for maternal health equity while navigating the beauty and complexity of new motherhood. In her own words, every stage of parenting feels "slow," brutal, and beautiful all at once, which is why she chooses to romanticize the little moments, even as she pre-grieves how fleeting they’ll one day feel. Her motherhood journey is both a personal evolution and a public call to reimagine care, softness, and support for women everywhere.
@designaddictmom
Stacey-Ann Blake is a home decor creator whose vibrant aesthetic is matched only by the warmth she brings to motherhood. From backyard tents in the fall to colorful corners curated with love, she reminds us that home isn’t just a space you live in, it’s an atmosphere where creativity blooms, joy is intentional, and childhood gets to feel magical. Her content inspires mamas to embrace boldness, beauty, and play in their everyday lives.
@hautemommie
Leslie Antonoff, Hautemommie and all-around powerhouse, is on a mission to inspire women, especially Black women, to live magnificently. With honesty and elegance, she shares what it means to mother with vision: to lead with softness, to nurture with strength, and to reject every outdated expectation of what motherhood is "supposed" to look like. For Leslie, motherhood is legacy work, and she wears that responsibility with grace and pride.
@latonyayvette
LaTonya Yvette is an author, editor, and creative consultant whose storytelling around motherhood is lyrical, layered, and deeply lived-in. With over 14 years of parenting behind her, she captures the tenderness of raising a child in a rapidly shifting world, reminding us that motherhood isn’t just a personal journey, but a sacred thread in a much larger, collective story. Her words are a mirror, a balm, and a reminder that presence is its own kind of legacy. If you've never come across her account on IG, we think you should start here.
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Featured image by Elise R. Peterson/Instagram