Being single isn’t so luxurious when life be lifing, especially, when you’re the sole person responsible for all your bills and general upkeep of your everyday life. I’m sure I can speak for most single women when I say that the constant of having to take care of every detail of your life, paired with working, is taxing. We’re just girls!
I, for a long time, thought that being girly was the equivalent to living luxuriously, which is still true in some cases. However, for years, I struggled to relate to that concept because I had a hard time connecting to my girly side. I was just too mentally drained from having to think about and fulfill my ‘daily’ responsibilities, solo. So, I had to redefine what luxury means to me, and what it means at this current point of my life is freeing my mind from clutter, allowing me to simply be.
Nikola Stojadinovic/ Getty Images
To get started on my journey, I started at the bottom and began to ask myself some honest questions like: What can I do to alleviate some of the day-to-day tasks? What areas in my life do I need additional assistance in? What should I start or stop doing that can help me clear my mind from clutter, giving me more time to relax?
In no particular order, here’s what I came up with!
Tip 1: Compartmentalize
Identify the areas in your life that require the most time out of your day, cause the most stress, and, of course, affect your funds the most. Once you have a handle on that, then you need to start thinking about the next most important step. What requires more money vs. what requires more labor and go from there.
Tip 2: Outsourcing
South_agency/ Getty Images
We know that you’re a strong, independent woman who can do it all…but is that the life you want to continue living? For example, put down the broom, pick up the phone, and hire a house cleaning service if cleaning your home takes too much of your time. If you can’t afford a housekeeping service, then space out your chores. You don’t have to clean your home all in one day.
Tip 3: Maintain car maintenance checks
Girls, we must remember that our cars are just as important as our homes and bodies and require its own maintenance. We can’t ignore the check engine light forever. Little do you know, the very knowledge of knowing that your cars’ needs are being neglected is causing subliminal stress because it will always reside in your mind. Just take it a day at a time. Set aside one day to clean your car and set aside another day to make those big girl phone calls to schedule a maintenance appointment.
Tip 4: Meal planning
PixelsEffect/ Getty Images
If you’re not comfortable in the kitchen, then that means you’re probably ordering in or going out to eat. Figure out what your goal is when it comes to meals and your money. If you can afford to eat out every day, then do you sis! But maybe utilize a meal prep service at least once a month; that way, you don’t have to “think” about your next meal. And if you’re a girlie who likes to cook, then eliminate the mental fatigue by pre-planning your meals on your off days so you can just grab it and go throughout the week.
Tip 5: Notes & Calendar apps
What’d En Vogue say? Free your mind, and the rest will follow! When it comes to running your whole life, you’ve got to keep a schedule or else you’ll endure the mental gymnastics of trying to remember everything on your own. Utilize a calendar and write notes to yourself as they come to mind. Writing things down gets them out of your brain, freeing your mind from clutter and allowing you to rest.
Tip 6: Maintaining bills
urbazon/ Getty Images
There’s not much you can do about having to pay your own bills. It can definitely be a lot harder to manage when you don’t have someone to (financially) depend on for things you didn’t plan, like getting a boot on your car, medical bills, etc… I’ve found that living below your means until you’re in a position to splurge, has helped tremendously. That means, to preserve my peace of mind, I have to say ‘no’ to hanging out sometimes unless, of course, someone else is footing the bill *wink wink*
Tip 7: Ask for help
It’s not a flex doing everything on your own, by yourself. This way of living is not supporting our soft girl era, ladies. Identify who’s in your circle and ask for help. Help might not always be monetary, but it could be in the form of asking someone to house-sit for you while the internet guy installs your router and you’re at work. That one effort of asking someone in your village for their time is indispensable.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Fotografia Inc/ Getty Images
RELATED
If you’re one of these individuals, it might do you some good to check out articles on the internet like “A Parent’s Guide To Teen Slang (2025 Update).” For now, though, I’m going to share a term that threw me a bit off of my game — and I ain’t the least bit ashamed to admit it.
Crotch cleavage. Whew, lawd.
Crotch Cleavage? Ironically, It’s “Right in Your Face.”
GiphyI remember when I first saw this video when the daughter was a little girl. And so, when I peeped the updated video, I was literally like, “What the hell is time?!” — and y’all, I felt that way again when I heard some young(er) people talking about crotch cleavage and I was like, “Excuse me, what the hell is that?!”
I’ll give you roughly 60 seconds to tell me the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear those two words put together. If you guessed “camel toe,” I am actually impressed because I had no clue until the 20-somethings snickered at me and then shared with me what the inside joke was all about.
And you know what’s a real trip? For the past year or so (give or take a couple of months), it would appear that (surprise, surprise) Gen-Zers have actually been making a fashion statement out of it. Yes, of their camel toe. How? By opting to wear things that make their camel toe prominent.
So, while wives and girlfriends are out here snapping off about their men wearing gray sweatpants (IYKYK), it is apparently liberating (to some) for women to let their labia run free (umm, relatively speaking). Interesting.
No, Your Labia Is Nothing to Be Ashamed Of
GiphyNow let me just say this about all of that — last summer, I penned an article for the platform entitled, “What Does It Mean To Have A 'Fatty'? Can You Do Anything To Change It?” and well, as someone who has a bit of a fatty her damn self, I don’t think that having a fleshy mons pubis (which is the tissue that covers your pubic bone) and/or labia (which more specifically is your labia majora in this case; it is the lips of your vagina) are anything to be embarrassed about or even the least bit ashamed of.
I mean, for what? Because you know what they say (and I’ve done some unofficial polling and it seems to be true): a fatty can definitely provide more cushin’ for the pushin’.
And so, when it comes to things like swimsuits and lingerie, I definitely don’t think that you should be going out of your way to wear stuff that makes you feel like you need to hide what is a part of your natural make-up. However, selecting a piece that ultimately results in camel toe? ON PURPOSE? Girl, that is something completely different.
Here’s why.
Yes, You Should Take the Challenges of a Camel Toe Seriously
GiphyAs someone who personally isn’t even the biggest fan of thongs (to wear), I don’t think my perpetual eye roll at the concept of crotch cleavage has much to do with my age. For me, any type of clothing that spends too much time up in any crack of mine is going to get on my last nerve and a camel toe is going to do exactly that. I mean, just think about how tight something has to be to keep your lips from “speaking to each other” — and then factor in what fabrics would have to be incorporated in order to make that happen.
Just think about it. I mean, I seriously doubt that organic cotton bikini briefs could create a camel toe. On the other hand, two-sizes-too-small nylon workout pants possibly could — and then here you come with all sorts of (potential) issues: friction, moisture that can’t get out, nerve compression, digestive issues, counterproductive workout sessions — oh, and let’s not forget what we all adore as women, yeast infections.
I dunno, y’all, I’m not sure what is so freeing and amazing about showing off your camel toe if you’re going to put yourself through so much potential discomfort and drama in the process. But if you do decide to do it, just make sure that you factor in all that could come from it on the back end. And if you do and you’re still cool with it, at the very least, commit to rocking one for no more than a couple of hours — max. Otherwise, a fashion trend could turn into a mini-nightmare. And I’m absolutely not exaggerating.
____
Crotch cleavage. Hmph. Just when you thought that you heard and saw it all, what we are dodging back in the day, generations after us are doing on purpose.
I guess King Solomon wasn’t completely right. There are some new things under the sun.
Goodness. LOL.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Jacob Lund/Shutterstock