"I'm reading about this new law in Indonesia," my friend texted me. I initially shrugged off her mention of this new law until a CNN news alert appeared on my phone. "Indonesia's parliament is expected to pass a new criminal code this month that will penalize sex outside marriage with a punishment of up to one year in jail, officials have confirmed to Reuters," the story read. And this law—lawmakers passed unanimously—applies to both Indonesians and tourists.
Say what now? After watching the awful ordeal of Brittney Griner play out, this is an enormous travel red flag, even for someone who usually travels solo. However, before we jump into the details, it's essential to know Indonesia is the world's largest Muslim-majority nation and is known for having many local laws that are discriminatory against women, LGBTQ communities, and other religious groups. So the introduction of this law—which will take up to three years to implement—isn't all that surprising.
What does Indonesia's new sex laws mean for tourists in Bali?
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However, this is concerning because hotspots like Bali—the only non-muslim island in Indonesia—are at the top of travel bucket lists and are many digital nomads' homes away from home. But, like it or not, this picturesque island is still a part of Indonesia. So how does this new law affect a tourist's ability to enjoy a baecation or just exist and bask in the IG-worthy glory of luxe flower baths and meals floating to your poolside without fear?
Well, after the news of this law dropped, Bali's governor Wayan Koster shared the extramarital sex law won't affect tourists because it can only be prosecuted if reported by an immediate family member (think: parents, spouse, children, etc.) He also explained that Bali's accommodations would not be checking the marital status of guests at check-in. But the law is still the law.
With that said, before visiting any country, be sure to research their laws and keep them in mind when making travel plans because your safety and peace of mind are essential no matter where you are in the world.
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Having a community of people who I can share memories with, lean on in times of need, and inspire each other is something I always valued. I took a moment to truly center in on what I desired from the new friends I would make. Then I realized it all would have to start with me. I had to be centered and confident in who I was to attract who I desired to be aligned with. As someone who moved to a new city and established quality friendships, I gathered these six tips that helped me feel grounded and create community in hopes that it will help you, too.
6 tips to start building community and making new friends in a new city:
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Be true to yourself
Do you know who you are? If someone asked you to describe yourself in three words, what words would you use? In order to develop deep friendships, you must be a friend to yourself first. Know what refuels you and what zaps your energy. Self-study your habits and why you do the things you do. All this will be important to keep in mind when looking to create bonds with others. Every day there’s all kinds of people telling you who you should be, how you should act, or what you should wear. At the end of the day, the only opinion about yourself that truly matters is your own. Spend some alone time with yourself indoors or out at an event you like to truly discover who you are in this season of your life.
Pray about it
Before you step out into the world and cross paths with all kinds of people, it’s important to pray about building your community. God outlines what true friendship looks like in numerous Bible verses such as "Iron sharpens iron." - Proverbs 27:17 and “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.” - Ecclesiastes 4:9-12. If you desire friendships that last, pray about what you seek in friendship. I remember praying for mentally stable, happy, and whole women who moved through life with abundance mindsets. Take a moment to journal about the community you want to build and then pray on it.
Go to fun events to meet people who share your interests
Most metropolitan cities like Washington, D.C., New York City, and Atlanta are known to have strong young professional communities and events where you can connect with others. I highly encourage you to attend events in or near your community to see what the city is like and meet people. It’s likely that the people at the event have the same interests as you, which is a great way to start a conversation. You can start by searching for events on Eventbrite or following Instagram pages that highlight events happening in your city.
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Accept that you won’t be compatible with everyone you meet
While living in your new city, it’s likely you’ll meet a variety of people. Please know that everyone you meet will not bud into lasting friendships, and that’s okay! You are uniquely created and not made for everyone. Then you’ll meet people who are good for only surface-level connections, and then you’ll have your girls who you can get deep with. I think sometimes people can look down on surface-level friendships, but not everyone needs to fully know you. That’s a privilege to have and to accept within yourself. Continue to check in with yourself and be real about who you crave to spend more time with and who is nice to see for a monthly or quarterly catch-up.
Join Facebook groups & GroupMe chats
If you haven’t used Facebook in a couple of years, it’s time to dust your profile off. Facebook Groups is a great place to join online communities for people who just moved to a new city like you. Typically, you have to agree to the group’s guidelines, and then you can join. For example, you can search for groups in the Facebook app by using keywords like women, Black girl, or [the name of your city] foodies. With the GroupMe app, you’ll have to be invited to join an already existing group. While you’re out and about networking, don’t hesitate to ask if they’re in any online groups/communities they recommend you join too.
Be friendly to folks in your neighborhood
When I first moved to my new apartment, I spent the first week walking around the complex and working in the community spaces to get a better feel of it. I was able to meet people in my neighborhood, enjoy small talk, and learn more about what the community has to offer. Step outside of your comfort zone and work in your apartment’s community space or a local coffee shop to connect with others.
Overall, you may feel alone in your new city, but I guarantee you’re not. There are other people experiencing living in a new city too, and all you need to do is find each other. I hope these tips help ease the nervous feelings you have about building a new community and inspire you to make a new friend today!
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