When it comes to social media, viewers only get to see the results of our creative success, but to be honest, the majority of us are just winging it. I can wholeheartedly attest to not having all of the answers when it comes to work, life, and balance. I'm just figuring this ish out and learning more about myself and what I can handle during the process.
For the past few years, I've been juggling working in the beauty industry full-time, modeling, roller-skating, writing, and designing jewelry. Trust and believe that there are not enough hours in the day to do all of the things that I would like to. I have learned the hard way the importance of not pushing myself to the limit and neglecting the efforts of self-sabotaging because things aren't going as planned.
Like most of us blossoming creatives, this is a one-woman show, so on the days that I am being too hard on myself I say, "You are not Beyonce, and you do not have her team. Do what you can to achieve your goals when you can."
Most mornings, I designate time to separate work goals, creative goals, and personal goals that have worked best for me. Also, writing my accomplishments daily and writing encouraging notes to myself helps give me the reassurance that my hard work and dedication are worth it. Realistically, balancing working a 9-to-5 and being a progressive can be very time-consuming and overwhelming at times. It can take years before our creative dreams become the reality that we envision for ourselves.
Every now and then it helps to be reminded that your creativity is worth pursuing. Keep it pushing sis with these 6 tips:
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1. Just go for it.
"Don't talk about it. Just do it." That is exactly what my best friend said after I shared one of my creative ideas with her on a train ride home. Ever find yourself sharing amazing ideas and forgetting to actually pursue them? Try your hardest to come up with ideas and then immediately create a plan to achieve them. Nothing in life is guaranteed, so now is the time to put your best foot forward. There will never be the "right" time to execute your creative ideas. My best advice for a blossoming creative is, that idea that you have just may not work but so what? At least you tried. I have made adjustments to my brand, tried things that worked, quit ventures that didn't suit me, etc. It all turned out for the greater good. I'm still a work in progress and making adjustments as I go.
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2. Don't rush your creative juices.
We live in a world where instant gratification is so necessary. It's easy to get caught up in rushing ideas and the execution of creative projects. Remember, greatness comes with time.
When I first started creating my blog, I realized the importance of patience in creativity. I noticed that whenever I took my time with acting on my creative ideas, I had better results. Balancing a 9-to-5 and working on your creativity can be tough, but over time I learned to not beat myself up about taking breaks.
Sometimes you aren't going to be motivated to work on your creativity after work and that's OK. Commend yourself for the small efforts you do make towards your creative goals.
Try out different schedules to make your creativity more convenient and give yourself feedback in the process. Something that has helped me tremendously is scheduling creative freedom days. I literally wake up and say to myself, "Today, I'm going to come home straight after work, write in my journal and have 'me time.'" For whatever creative projects you are working on, make sure you take the time to create your best work. Don't rush, and take care of yourself.
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3. Don't allow people to convince you to turn your creativity down.
Do you, and stay true to yourself. People will mislead you all the time, so you might as well do what you want. Get acquainted with being misunderstood. Way too often people will tell you that you are "over the top" and you do "too much". Let those people continue talking and carry on. Speaking your dreams into existence is just the beginning. Only you know what you want to do and how you want to do it. This is about you and your vision. No one else can see it but you.
Image via Giphy
4. Network and surround yourself with other creatives.
As a creative person, you need to keep a creative set of friends. If you don't have at least one, then it's time to find one. This is very helpful when it comes to expanding those creative ideas you come up with on the daily. When I first moved to Brooklyn, something that really helped me expand my business was surrounding myself with other creatives that I admired. I have creatives in my corner who I read my articles to and who try on the jewelry I design. I can always count on them to give me good feedback. Surrounding yourself with like-minded people can be the push that you need. It's a great feeling to support other creative works and cheer each other on during the process.
5. Use social media to build your brand.
As a blossoming creative, it is essential to put your social media skills to good use in order to create your plan. You never know who's watching or who you might be inspiring through your platforms. Research yourself and figure out exactly what your social media accounts display about you. Allow your social media to show your most creative self.
Image via Giphy
6. Do it for you.
No matter what, do what you want and do it for you. I make sure that if no one else likes my content or jewelry, I like it. I try to ensure that I actually value everything I create and that the sole purpose is not money-driven. Don't be afraid to say "no" to projects that don't necessarily spark your interest or those that appear to be detrimental to your vision or brand.
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In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
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Feature image by Mike Lawrie/Getty Images
During the event, the socialite spoke to the outlet about the importance of “friendship and trust” in her three-year relationship that started in the midst of the pandemic.
“We were really good friends before we started dating, and COVID gave us that free time in our life to really get to know each other,” Jordyn said. “Because a lot of people don't really get to know each other and they go into this relationship.”
She continues, “So, we've been through a lot together. We've seen each other at all different ways, times, phases, so I think we have a very strong foundation.”
Jordyn also notes that “quality time” has been a means to bond and keep their relationship thriving. Despite the NBA star’s demanding schedule, she expressed her desire to attend as many of KAT's games as possible, including his upcoming birthday game with the Minnesota Timberwolves. “It's his birthday in a few days, so I'm going to go to that game,” she says.
Quality time isn’t the only love language that the couple speaks.“We love gift giving and... What is it? The love language? The love language is quality time. We love everything,” she says.
The couple was introduced by mutual friends many years ago, and in May 2020 decided to move forward from a close friendship to a romantic relationship. Jordyn and KAT went public with their relationship in September of that same year and have since become young Hollywood’s discreet “IT” couple.
“I'm excited. Every holiday, we like to really go large for each other,” she explained. “He does so much for me. I do what I can for him. I want to say it's a lot. So when it's time to show that appreciation, we like to go all out.”
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