While I’m not the biggest fan of New Year’s Resolutions (who needs the extra pressure and stress of telling yourself what you’re going to totally give up or never do again?), something that I do think is a good idea to do, in the final weeks of the year, as you’ve hopefully got a little downtime, is to sit and think of what you need to do in order “restart” or “reset” in your life — you know, things that you can — and should — put on your to-do list that will help you to put your best foot forward into a brand spanking new year.
The following eight items are merely suggestions. What I will say, though, is I came to the conclusion that these are essential after years of working with clients who seemed to struggle the most when these things were not in place. Oh, and while I definitely recommend booking these appointments, this is not something that you have to “check off” before January 1. I’m just saying that you should get these things on the books before December 31, so that you can know how to prioritize your time and invest your money…into something that is so deserving, chile. YOURSELF.
1. A Massage Appointment
I’m weird because while I thoroughly enjoy reflexology, a full-body massage sometimes makes me a bit squeamish. I mean, you’ve really got to trust your massage therapist in order to get all of the benefits of it, right? That doesn’t mean I’m not aware of the many things that come with getting one, though. Massages are able to de-stress you, make you more flexible, detox your system, reduce PMS-related symptoms, improve your quality of sleep, decrease pain-related issues, boost your immunity, and oh so much more.
As far as how often you should get one, believe it or not, a lot of health experts recommend that you do it on a bi-weekly basis. Whether that fits into your budget and schedule or not, if you’ve never gotten a massage before or you can’t recall the last time you’ve gotten on a massage table, book an appointment for the top of the year. It’s one of those things that your mind, body, and spirit will ultimately thank you for. (If you need a little help with figuring out which kind of massage you should get, check out “12 Different Massage Types. How To Know Which Is Right For You.” It can help to point you in the right direction.)
2. A Hairstylist Appointment
One thing that the lockdown of 2020 did was teach us how to “fend for ourselves” when it came to daily beauty maintenance, right? And while, on some levels, learning new hacks was beneficial, what a lot of women have shared with me is that it kind of put them in a bit of a rut in 2021 in the sense that they didn’t really make, what used to be standing appointments, a top priority like they did before the pandemic. Listen, it doesn’t look like COVID is going away any time soon, so if that’s what you’re waiting for before stepping into a salon, you’re probably going to be waiting a really LONG time.
Besides, one of the best things about the coming of a new year is you can feel extra motivated to take a fresh approach to things. So yeah, schedule a professional hair appointment. Whether it’s to get a cut and color, learn how to install a wig or weave, or to get a trendy protective style, it’s always worth it to relax in a chair and let a trained person hook you up from time to time.
3. A Life Coach Appointment
While this might seem like a shameless plug, it’s not. Although I am a marriage life coach, what I’m speaking of, more specifically here, is getting a life coach who can help you to organize your time, goals, and plans better, whether you’re in a relationship or not. There is plenty of data to support the fact that a reputable life coach can help to bring clarity, boost self-confidence, heighten self-awareness, manifest your purpose, get you to better understand your strengths and weaknesses, and significantly increase your communication skills too.
A really cool thing about life coaching is sometimes you can get the answers that you seek after a couple of sessions or, if you realize you need more assistance and accountability, you can go for as long as you need to. That said, if there is one thing that I really think that everyone should try, at least once, it’s talking to a life coach. Even just an hour chat can provide some light bulb moments like a mug.
If you need help with how to even begin searching for one,Life Coach Spotter is a pretty good resource. You can also hit up my friend who was featured in one of my articles earlier this year, “A Male Relationship Coach Shares 7 Questions Women Should Ask Men On The Third Date.” He can help to point you in the right direction too. For general coaching, email him at jay@relationshipstrategiesintl.com.
4. A Nutritionist Appointment
To this day, one of the most common New Year’s Resolutions is to lose weight; it’s also a top one that people break within the first month. And yes, while a licensed nutritionist can certainly assist with weight loss (or weight management) goals, that is not the only thing that they are good for. Nutritionists are beneficial because they can help you to figure out if you have any food sensitivities or allergies; why you may have ongoing fatigue issues; if certain foods are causing underlying health issues to make things worse; what you can do, diet-wise, to increase your chances of fertility and what you can do to eat healthier and have a better relationship with food, in general.
People who have been to a nutritionist (or dietician) oftentimes sing their praises because it has gotten them off of an emotional roller coaster ride when it comes to how they should approach food. If what I just said resonates with you, then you definitely should book an appointment with a nutritionist — sooner than later. NoBidan.org is the site for the National Organization of Black Dietetics and Nutrition. If you need some assistance in looking for a Black nutritionist, they should be able to help you out.
5. A Financial Consultant Appointment
We know that this country is rigged to make things more difficult for us (SMDH). That’s a part of the reason why it’s really important to be vigilant when it comes to getting — and keeping — your finances in order. Shoot, the mere fact that Black women are 22 percent more in debt when it comes to their education than white women are and it’s been cited that we will make around one million dollars less than white men over the course of our lifetime, having a financially savvy person who can help you to budget, plan for retirement, avoid paying more in taxes than you should, learn about investments, prepare for big purchases and save money — there is no “con” when it comes to setting aside some cash to have someone help you out as far as your finances are concerned. The Association of African American Financial Advisors is a good resource. Check it out here.
6. A Travel Agent Appointment
If 2022 is the year that you’re all about earning some miles and getting stamps on your passport, while I know that Google makes us think that we don’t need to hire people for much of anything anymore, that is simply not the truth. If you can get your hands on a really good travel agent, aside from the fact that they can get you some pretty good deals, they’re also able to handle all of the details of your trips and get you access to perks that you probably wouldn’t know about otherwise.
Plus, going with a travel agent is super convenient because they can plan your vacations while you focus on other things. Travel + Leisure published an article last year entitled, “8 Amazing Black-owned Travel Companies to Know and Support”. If they can’t hook you up, they can probably locate someone who can.
7. A Matchmaking Appointment
Are you ready to meet your onethis year? Hey, roll your eyes if you want to, but I actually used to write for a professional matchmaking company and their success rate was close to being off the charts. It’s because the good ones are really serious about properly vetting their clients so that no one is wasting their time (which is a huge risk when it comes to randomly meeting people on your own or trying to online date). As far as costs go, it’s pretty affordable to pay to get your profile into their database. Or, you can pay a few thousand for dates to be scheduled throughout the year.
If you’re down to at least have a conversation with a professional matchmaker, there’s a list of some of the most popular Black ones in the country that you can check out here. I mean, if nothing else has seemed to pan out, what can it hurt to give matchmaking a shot? Plus, you can keep it all pretty private which is more than what you can say for that friend of yours who keeps trying to set you on blind dates with guys whose Instagram profiles are less than impressive.
8. A Bestie Appointment
I’m big on taking relationship inventory (check out “10 Questions To Ask Your Close Friends Before The New Year Begins”); it has proven to work well for me. What I mean by “inventory” is, about once a year, my tribe and I (these are one-on-one chats, by the way) will discuss where we’re at personally and what we need from each other, friendship-wise, as a direct result. Then we’ll touch on some of our favorite things about each other and where we could stand to hold each other accountable a little bit more, moving forward.
Booking a “formal” appointment to have lunch or drinks with your closest friend, just to do this and this alone can help both of you to hear each other out so that you know how to be each other’s best support system in the new year. I’m telling you, when it comes to gearing up, mentally and emotionally for the new year, setting up a bestie appointment is always time well spent. Guaranteed.
Now, where’s your Google Calendar at? You’ve got some work to do, sis.
Featured image by Getty Images
It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
For Us, By Us: How HBCU Alumni Are Building Legacies Through Entrepreneurship
Homecoming season is here, and alumni are returning to the yard to celebrate with their friends and family at the historically Black colleges and universities (HBCUs) that have changed their lives forever.
No matter where their life journeys have taken them, for HBCU students from near and far, returning to where it all started can invoke feelings of nostalgia, appreciation for the past, and inspiration for the future.
The seeds for these entrepreneurs were planted during their time as students at schools like Spelman, North Carolina A&T, and more, which is why xoNecole caught up with Look Good Live Well’s Ariane Turner, HBCU Buzz’s Luke Lawal and Morehouse Senior Director of Marketing and Comms and Press Secretary Jasmine Gurley to highlight the role their HBCU roots play in their work as entrepreneurs, the legacy they aim to leave behind through the work that they do, and more as a part of Hyundai’s Best In Class initiative.
On Honoring HBCU Roots To Create Something That Is For Us, By Us
Ariane Turner
Courtesy
When Ariane Turner launched Look Good, Live Well, she created it with Black and brown people in mind, especially those with sensitive skin more prone to dryness and skin conditions like acne and eczema.
The Florida A&M University graduate launched her business to create something that addressed topical skin care needs and was intentional about its approach without negative terminology.
Turner shared that it is important to steer clear of language often adopted by more prominent brands, such as “banishing breakouts” or “correcting the skin,” because, in reality, Turner says there is nothing wrong with the way that our skin and bodies react to various life changes.
“I think what I have taken with me regarding my HBCU experience and translated to my entrepreneurial experience is the importance of not just networking,” Turner, the founder and CEO of Look Good, Live Well, tellls xoNecole.
“We hear that in business all the time, your network is your net worth, but family, there’s a thing at FAMU that we call FAMU-lee instead of family, and it’s very much a thing. What that taught me is the importance of not just making relationships and not just making that connection, but truly working on deepening them, and so being intentional about connecting with people initially, but staying connected and building and deepening those relationships, and that has served me tremendously in business, whether it’s being able to reach back to other classmates who I went to school with, or just networking in general.”
She adds, “I don’t come from a business background. As soon as I finished school, I continued with my entrepreneurial journey, and so there’s a lot of that traditional business act and the networking, those soft skills that I just don’t have, but I will say that just understanding how to leverage and network community and to build intentional relationships is something that has taken me far and I definitely got those roots while attending FAMU.”
On Solving A Very Specific Need For The Community
Luke Lawal Jr.
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When Luke Lawal Jr. launched HBCU Buzz, his main focus was to represent his community, using the platform to lift as they climbed by creating an outlet dedicated to celebrating the achievements and positive news affecting the 107 historically HBCUs nationwide.
By spotlighting the wonderful things that come from the HBCU community and coupling it with what he learned during his time at Bowie State University, Lawal used that knowledge to propel himself as an entrepreneur while also providing his people with accurate representation across the internet.
“The specific problem in 2011 when I started HBCU Buzz was more so around the fact that mainstream media always depict HBCUs as negative,” Lawal says. “You would only see HBCUs in the mainstream media when someone died, or the university president or someone was stepping down. It was always bad news, but they never shed light on all the wonderful things from our community."
So, I started HBCU Buzz to ensure the world saw the good things that come from our space. And they knew that HBCUs grew some of the brightest people in the world, and just trying to figure out ways to make sure our platform was a pedestal for all the students that come through our institutions.”
“The biggest goal is to continue to solve problems, continue to create brands that solve the problems of our communities, and make sure that our products, our brands, our companies, and institutions are of value and they’re helping our community,” he continues. “That they’re solving problems that propel our space forward.”
On How Being An HBCU Alum Impacts The Way One Shows Up In The World
Jasmine Gurley
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Jasmine Gurley is a proud North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University alum. She is even more delighted with her current role, which enables her to give back to current HBCU students as the Senior Director of Brand Marketing and Communications and official press secretary at Morehouse College.
“It was a formative experience where I really was able to come into my own and say yes to all the opportunities that were presented to me, and because of that, it’s been able to open the doors later in life too,” says Gurley of her experience at North Carolina A&T. “One thing I love about many HBCUs is that we are required to learn way more about African American history than you do in your typical K through 12 or even at the higher ed level."
She adds, “It allowed us to have a better understanding of where we came from, and so for me, because I’m a storyteller, I’m a history person, I’m very sensitive to life in general, being able to listen to the stories and the trials that our ancestors overcame, put the battery pack in my back to say, ‘Oh nothing can stop me. Absolutely nothing can stop me. I know where I came from, so I can overcome something and try anything. And I have an obligation to be my ancestors’ wildest dreams. Simultaneously, I also have a responsibility to help others realize that greatness.
Gurley does not take her position at an HBCU, now as a leader, lightly.
“People think I’m joking when I say I’m living the dream, but I really am,” she notes. “So I wake up every day and know that the work that I do matters, no matter how hard it might be, how frustrating it may be, and challenging it. I know the ripple effect of my work, my team, and what this institution does also matter. The trajectory of Black male experiences, community, history, and then just American advancement just in general.”
On the other hand, through her business, Sankofa Public Relations, Gurley is also on a mission to uplift brands in their quest to help their respective communities. Since its inception in 2017, Sankofa PR has been on a mission to “reach back and reclaim local, national, and global communities by helping those actively working to move” various areas of the world, focusing on pushing things forward for the better.
“Through Sankofa, we’ve worked with all different types of organizational brands and individuals in several different industries, but I would think of them as mission-based,” says Gurley.
“So with that, it’s an opportunity to help people who are trying to do good in the world, and they are passionate about what they’re doing. They just need help with marketing issues, storytelling, and branding, and that’s when my expertise can come into play. Help them get to that moment where they can tell their story through me or another platform, and that’s been super fulfilling.”
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Feature image courtesy
Meet The Millionaire Real Estate Developer Transforming Georgia’s Landscape And Generational Wealth
Delphine Bryant is trying to change the world, one real estate listing at a time. As a breast cancer survivor, she understands the importance of building a legacy that her children can be proud of, which is why she’s using her platform to educate others to create generational wealth of their own.
A distinguished real estate developer and entrepreneur, Bryant is also a millionaire with a portfolio of over 100 luxury and affordable homes across Georgia.
Known for her expertise in crafting properties that speak for themselves, she has a keen eye for design and a strong affinity for community development. Her goal with every property and business endeavor is to transform landscapes and enrich lives in the process.
“When they tell you that you have breast cancer and it's the fast-growing one, I was like, okay, am I dying or not, but I started focusing on making my dreams bigger than my problems,” Bryant recalls to xoNecole.
“I was like, I’m going to fight. I want to be able to fight as much as I can. So, during that process of fighting, I was still looking at real estate because I started real estate in 2012 while I was still a registered nurse, which would help me have extra income.”
Bryant’s health kept her at home during this time due to a low immune system and weakness from rounds of chemotherapy, but one thing that did not change was her determination to succeed. She used the time to lock in and learn the ins and outs of the real estate world.
“Navigating myself in the real estate world, I started looking at new construction and just focusing on seeing how much profit I would get from new construction as to holding properties, which I sued to do for the first five years in the business,” Bryant explains.
“I started realizing there’s so much money in getting into new construction and learning about the development world.”
She adds, “So, I pushed myself, paid a mentor about $40,000, who taught me how to buy land and subdivide it, and then I started building new construction. That has helped me a lot. Getting into the real estate world and seeing my coworkers, who were nurses and doctors, making so much money but not investing it, I started telling them what I was doing, and they started investing in some of my projects. Many people just saw me growing and kept asking how can you do this? How can you do that? So I also began mentoring in the space.”
Having acquired over $8 million in real estate assets, Bryant knows something about investing in suitable properties and helping others get more bang for their buck. Her number one lesson is not to get caught up in spending so much money, time, and effort into making a property “look a certain way.”
“I always advise people, if you’re going to buy and hold a property, you don’t want to invest too much to make that house look a certain way,” she says.
“Because you’re holding it, you want to rehab it. If you’re buying, let’s say, a property that needs rehab, you want to rehab it but spend less money if you’re going to hold it. On the other hand, if you plan to sell it, that’s a different ball game because buyers coming in want to make it look like a brand new house.”
“For those holding on to the property, you can spend half the fee you planned to rehab it. That way, the house still looks almost the same, brand new, but you're spending less money,” Bryant continues.
“And once you send an appraisal there, you will probably appraise it for almost the same price you sell it. Then, you can cash the equity out of that house, have someone stay there paying the mortgage while you get cash flow every month, and help that house appraise every three to four years.”
When it comes to investing, Bryant says it is essential to avoid properties with significant issues, such as the foundation, plumbing, etc., because they will eat up a person’s profit. She stressed the importance of leaning on resources like a real estate inspector who can assess whatever needs to be done to the property rather than a general contractor.
“A licensed inspector will pick up everything wrong on that property, and then you can take that list, that inspection list, present it to your general contractor; that way, you know how much you want to spend on a house before you ever invest in it. It is essential, or else you’ll see a house that sometimes looks pretty, but the AC is bad, or the roof needs to be taken down, so you want to make sure that you get a home inspector to assess what needs to be done to a property before making that investment.”
Additionally, she stresses the importance of evaluation. What is the market? What’s the market trending? These are questions that Bryant says are imperative to not throwing your hard-earned money away to renovations that won’t necessarily make you a profit.
“I love what I do,” Bryant concludes. “I make sure that I do my due diligence. I’ve never lost money in real estate. I wake up in the morning feeling very grateful. One of the things is that I have a history of breast cancer, and I’m a breast cancer survivor now, so I’m just grateful to be alive. I look at life differently but wake up feeling tons of gratitude.”
“I want to encourage people that real estate is an easy way to grow wealth that is not a liability. It’s an asset. You can transfer it from generation to generation,” she adds.
“A lot of us look at real estate, and we get scared, but if you do your numbers and educate yourself in real estate, you can make so much money quickly. I always encourage people to buy a house and get into the real estate world because you can transfer those assets to your children from generation to generation."
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Feature image courtesy of Delphine Bryant