Since arriving on the scene roughly four years ago at just the age of 19, Gabriella Sarmiento Wilson infiltrated the music landscape as we know it. She came in hard, with heavy hitter anthems which all solidified her as an artist to watch. Since, H.E.R. has made major strides: number one album releases, performing alongside industry giants, and even celebrating the 60th birthday of the supremely adored former president, Barack Obama.
Her mystique has become a part of her persona, and her sun-shaded anonymity is what TF she does. In fact, as her career elevates to newer levels, who she is as an artist becomes more revealed, and the less we know about her, leaving us all with our hands out and wanting to know more. We decided to compile a list of the journey of H.E.R., from how she got started, all the way to songbird that she has emerged into. Here's 7 things you didn't know about the songstress taking over music:
1. H.E.R. spent the early part of her career working to keep her identity under wraps.
H.E.R. released an album in 2017 with just seven songs, no biography, and only a mysterious full-body silhouette on the cover of her first album. She spent the greater part of the beginning of her career declining to show or confirm her identity. Who is this person? What is this music? Why won't she show her face? But it wasn't all just a gimmick. While she went to great lengths to remain lowkey, according to Billboard, fans figured out who she was after digging through SoundCloud, with Janet Jackson and Drake both raving about her and revealing H.E.R. identity on social media.
She would then go on to wear her signature sunglasses in order to continue to conceal her identity, a practice she still does today. When discussing why she created this image of herself, she told ELLE:
"I think it has allowed me to make the music the focus, and for people not to care about the superficial things or who I'm associated with, what clique I belong to—all those things that don't matter. It's really made people focus on the music, and that's what's special about it."
2. Yet, ironically enough, H.E.R. stage name is an acronym for "Having Everything Revealed."
Today, although H.E.R. has almost entirely shedded her secrecy, she does still gaze at her adoring fans from many a pair of stylish sunglasses. It's almost ironic, actually, that as her name is an acronym for "Having Everything Revealed." But amazingly, her shades serve as a metaphor for what her career is about as they are often extremely reflective, so when you try to look directly in her eyes, you see yourself.
"I try to always stay focused, and stay true to myself, because as a woman, it's easy to look at other women and feel like, Maybe I should be doing this. In the age of social media, you look at other women who get attention, or compliments, and we start to question ourselves. I think the pressure is not just on me as an artist. I think it's on everybody."
3. She signed her first record deal with Sony at age 14.
H.E.R. had been singing and performing since girlhood as Little Gabi Wilson, singing in her dad's cover band and, at age 10, making her way to the Today show where she covered Alicia Keys' "If I Ain't Got You." When she was 12, she got her big break as one of five finalists in an American Idol-esque radio show contest, hosted by Radio Disney.
She ultimately lost the competition but was signed to her first record label, Sony at 14.
4. H.E.R. can play five instruments. FIVE.
GiphyIn very Prince-esque fashion, H.E.R. has taken a page from the Purple One's book and has managed to learn (self-taught) to play multiple instruments. A pianist, drummer, and masterful guitarist who can solo with the electric, acoustic, and bass guitar, the woman can get down with the best of them (likely because she's one of the best of them). She told Rolling Stone:
"Playing guitar is part of who I am, since I was a kid. I remember watching a video of Lenny Kravitz and Prince [from the Rave Un2 the Year 2000 concert] when I was a kid. That video changed my life—it made me want to play guitar just because of how rock star it is."
5. Her greatest career advice came from Alicia Keys.
If you ask her, it's no secret that one of H.E.R.'s greatest inspirations is the one and only Mrs. Problem-On-The-Keys, Alicia Keys. In fact, some of her greatest advice came from the giant. She told Refinery29:
"Alicia Keys told me that when it comes to music, all you need is three chords and the truth. I think you can apply that to life, too."
6. Grammys are inevitable, but H.E.R. is an Oscar winner as well.
Chris Pizzello-Pool/Getty Images
After five EPs, one album and a cool 12 Grammy noms in just three short years, 2021 has been a year of recognition for H.E.R. that's extended beyond her talent, which is an 'ask about me' flex we didn't know we needed. One of H.E.R.'s latest accomplishments, is an addition of an Oscar to her trophy case for the song "Fight For You", her soulful addition to Judas and the Black Messiah soundtrack that picked up the Academy Award for Best Original Song. To pay homage to Prince, she rocked an outfit similar to the outfit Prince won his Oscar in that night and proudly said:
"All those days of listening to Sly & the Family Stone, Curtis Mayfield and Marvin Gaye really paid off, so thank you dad."
Additionally, she has taken the moment to reflect on the bigger picture of her career: finding a balance of being herself and using her voice, and welcoming the journey of responsibility of giving a voice to the voiceless. She told NME:
"At first I didn't realize activism was part of my artistic purpose but I guess my voice matters."
7. She believes her superpower is the ability to be all things as a woman.
In the same way that you can't place H.E.R.'s music in only one genre, a young Gabi Wilson refused to be defined by either of her cultures growing up (she Filipino and African-American). She told GlamourUK:
"There were times where I felt too Filipino for the Black kids and too Black for the Filipino kids. Or when I was going to the grocery store with my mom and people [were] like, 'That's your mom? Her hair's straight, your hair's curly. And it's like, 'I come from both places. This is what you get."
"I was just trying to figure out what that all meant and not put myself in a box, because people always tried to do that. You know, they need a point of reference. But sometimes you can be all things… and I think that's been my superpower."
She continued:
"I'm always trying new things, always recreating things that I love, but honestly, I think it's all about doing you. It's cool to be on new trends or whatever but how does it make you feel? What do you feel like? It's dressing from the inside out. Sometimes I want to be a rockstar, sometimes I want to look like Lenny Kravitz!"
Well, if Lenny Kravitz is anything like us, he wants to be you too.
Watch the video of her latest single, 'Come Through' featuring Chris Brown below:
Her album, Back of My Mind, is available on all streaming platforms right now!
Are you a member of our insiders squad? Join us in the xoTribe Members Community today!
Featured image by Aaron J. Thornton/Getty Images
RELATED
So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
I’ve shared before that waste means “to consume, spend, or employ uselessly or without adequate return,” and if you are doing things that don’t really give you an ROI on the minutes and hours that you will never see again, to a large extent, you are definitely wasting your time. One way to avoid doing that is to manage your time wisely, and one way to do that is to incorporate a quote by author Stephen Covey: “The key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.” That’ll preach. A few sermons.
So, how can you know, without question, that you could stand to do some fine-tuning when it comes to time management? Well, for starters, if the following eight things apply to you on some level, you definitely could use some work on improving your time management skills. ASAP too.
1. You Spend Too Much Time on Social Media
GiphyReportedly, 10-15 percent of marriages are sexless. To be a part of category, it means that you have sex with your spouse no more than 10-12 times a year. What this basically boils down to is if you only engage in copulation once a month, you technically fall into this demographic (by the way, you’re considered to have a healthy marital sex life if you engage in coitus no less than once a week).
Where am I going with all of this? Well, whenever I have clients who are sexless and one or both of them tell me that they don’t have time for intimacy, one of the first things that I ask is how much time they spend on social media — and boy, you should see their faces. LOL.
There really is no telling how many times I’ve shared on this platform that most people spend somewhere around 2.5 hours, daily, on social media AND that most people are fine with intercourse lasting between 7-13 minutes. So nah, it doesn’t fly that if you’re not gettin’ it in with your partner, it’s because you’ve run out of time. A quickie alone gives you PLENTY of it.
It won’t feel that way, though, if you’re on social media for — shoot, the length of time of a movie (and then one sitcom episode). And that’s what you’ve got to watch about your time, in general, because if you are online a whopping 150 minutes each and every day — think about all of the other things that you could be getting done: exercising, meal prepping, goal-setting, catching up with family members and friends…so much, chile.
Social media as a form of entertainment or escapism is cool. Most experts say that beyond 30 minutes a day is leaning into it being somewhat counterproductive, though (unless you are getting actual work done on it). So yeah, if you want to become a master at time management, using self-discipline while being on your social media accounts is a great way to start.
Social media time management hack: Turn on a 30-minute sitcom and scroll as you watch it. Once it’s over — BING! You know that you’ve been on IG, TikTok or Facebook for 30 minutes straight.
2. You Are (Almost) Always Late
GiphyBack in my 20s, it was nothing for me to be late — if I showed up to something (that I said I was coming to) at all. And boy, was I being selfish, entitled and disrespectful of other people’s time. Yeah, you don’t really realize until you’re on the receiving end of someone’s tardiness (especially perpetual tardiness) just how irresponsible it can be to not show up at the time when you said that you would. Because really, if it — whatever “it” is — was gonna be, whenever, why was a time set in the first place?
Not to mention the fact that being late tends to have a ripple effect because, unless you and someone else were going to be together for an entire day, they typically have other things to do after leaving you — and your lateness could affect their already planned schedule.
Effective time management means that you plan things when you know that you can do them, you give yourself enough time to arrive on time — and if, for some reason, you’re going to be late, you respect the person enough to let them know.
Besides, people who keep schedules tend to be less stressed — and because they value other people’s time enough to not waste it, their relationships tend to be more easy-going too. That’s because respecting time cultivates trust; it makes you appear reliable which is always a good thing.
How to be on time hack: Add time to your time. What I mean by that is, if you told someone that you would meet up with them at 6:30 and you are 20 minutes away, add 20 minutes to that time. It helps when it comes to unexpected traffic and prevents you from rushing.
3. You Don’t Have Daily Goals
GiphyIdle hands are the devil’s workshop. King Solomon was once inspired to say that. Hmph. While we’re here, he also said that idle lips are his mouthpiece (just sayin’ — Proverbs 16:27). Anyway, as far as the hands thing, when you don’t have goals, it can be really easy to waste time — maybe because you’re bored, maybe because you’re antsy, maybe because, whether it’s consciously or subconsciously, you are looking for ways to use up your time. Problem is, when your time isn’t being utilized wisely, you can end up killing time — time that you will never get back.
It can’t be said enough that we all get the same 24 hours in a day and within each day, many productivity experts say that it’s important to have somewhere between 3-5 daily goals. It’s a good way to use your time wisely, to feel inspired and motivated and to make progress in various areas of your life.
How to set daily goals hack: Before turning in each night, pull out a journal or your phone and jot down three short-term goals that can be done the following day and two longer-term ones that you can start on. Make sure one long-term goal can be completed by the end of the week.
4. You Overestimate Your Multitasking Capabilities
GiphyMozart once said, “The shorter way to do many things is to only do one thing at a time." That said, I am always tickled whenever a female client (it is ALWAYS a female client — LOL) brags to me about how good she is at doing a million things at once. Listen, just because you can do that, it doesn’t mean that you are doing each of the things well. Science says so. And while some experts say that two is the limit and others say four, when it comes to checking things off of your to-do list, try to avoid doing several things at one time.
For one thing, it reduces the chance that you will make a mistake or overlook something. Also, it can prevent you from feeling anxious or frazzled. Yeah, even if you think that you are getting a lot done by multitasking, it can create unnecessary pressure and stress into your life and who needs that? It can also up your chances of doing things over — and that definitely can be a waste of your time.
How to multitask less hack: Meditate before starting your day. This means not looking at your phone, especially. Why? Because when you see all of the texts and notifications that are in it, that is typically what tempts you to attempt multiple things at once. Instead, ease into your morning quietly and calmly. Then prioritize what needs to be done and only do two things at a time.
Knowing that you were thorough is so much more satisfying than feeling like you did five things at once at an average level.
5. You Overwhelm Yourself
GiphyKnow what else can come from super multitasking — you find yourself feeling so overwhelmed that you become mentally and physically stagnant. In fact, many mental health experts say that it is very common to find yourself procrastinating whenever you are overwhelmed. Why? Well, when you sit and think about doing things that you may not want to do, that can overwhelm you.
At the same time, if you keep putting off what you need to do (good or “bad”), for days on end, until stuff piles up, the very thought of getting it all taken care of can tempt you to procrastinate — which only leads to a bigger pile of stuff to get overwhelmed with.
As a result, rather than what needs to be done, you intentionally seek out distractions that don’t really benefit you in the long run (more times than not).
How to stop overwhelming yourself hack: Write down what needs to be done in the order of their importance. Then go for a walk to clear your mind and commit to doing a couple of the things upon your return. Do them and then take another quick break before doing a couple more. The breaks will keep you from feeling stressed out from the weight of it all. Think of it like tearing down a mountain — a stone at a time.
6. You Don’t Have a Sleep Schedule
GiphyYou NEED sleep. Sleep IS NOT a luxury. And for goodness’ sake, stop saying that you’ll sleep when you’re dead? You’ll be dead when you’re dead. All of this said, I doubt that health experts will ever state that you won’t need between 6-8 hours of sleep every night. Sleep boosts immunity, so that you don’t “lose time” getting over being sick. Sleep gives you energy, so that you can actually get things done. Sleep helps with your cognitive function, so that your memory, concentration and productivity are intact, so that you can do things well.
A lot of people waste time because they aren’t performing well and it’s all because they aren’t getting the quality rest that they should. If you are one of these individuals, you should really consider implementing a sleep schedule. At the end of the day, all it means is you are prioritizing sleep — because you absolutely should.
How to start a sleep schedule hack: A part of what comes with having a sleep schedule is incorporating a bedtime routine. Check out “These Sleep Hacks Will Make Getting A Good Night’s Rest So Much Easier” for tips on how to make that easier for you.
7. Pleasure Isn’t Prioritized
GiphyRecently, a friend of mine wrote to me to say that their boyfriend (of quite some time) decided to, pretty much out of nowhere, break up with her a week before her birthday. When I asked her what her availability was so that I could treat her to lunch or dinner, she shared with me that most nights, she is working until 10:30pm. What in the world, chile?
If you don’t have a good and consistent work/life balance, you also low-key suck at time management because you absolutely were not put on this earth to do nothing but work all day and night long. SMDH. Pleasure is about enjoyment and some of your time is absolutely to be filled with that. If you don’t carve out leisure time to do things that make you happy — you 1000 percent suck at time management.
How to prioritize what pleases you (more often) hack: One hour a day during the week. No less than three hours, at least one day, on the weekends. Devote that time to nothing but what you enjoy doing. It keeps the stress levels down and also makes it easier to do the tasks that are less fun that need to be done.
8. You Don’t “Tithe” Your Time
GiphyAlthough tithe is a word that most of us don’t hear unless it’s in reference to church (Malachi 3), the word actually means “a tenth part or any indefinitely small part of anything” — and yes, when it comes to your time, it’s really important to tithe it out when it comes to things like your health regimen, self-care and decompression.
So, that said, be honest — do you tithe your time in the sense of making sure that within your 24-hour day, time is set aside for certain things? Now, to be fair, 10 percent of 24 hours is 2.4 hours, right? So, while some of these things might need to be combined — doing some yoga while binge-watching a show would qualify as “tithe timing.” So would taking a bubble bath and listening to your favorite podcast.
How to tithe your time hack: No matter what is going on, make sure that 2.4 hours, DAILY, is set aside for a bit of “you” time — you in the sense of doing what reminds you to prioritize yourself.
BONUS: You Remain in Cyclic Nonsense
I can’t believe that it’s basically been a year since I released my third book (what is time?). In it, there is a chapter entitled, “The Nice Guy Narcissist” and although the man’s name (and certain details that would make it clear to some folks who I am talking about) isn’t present, my circle knows who I am referring to.
Anyway, one of my friends loathes him so much that she doesn’t deal with him on any level — even has him blocked on social media. Meanwhile, a guy who has been basically wasting her time since she was a teenager (who she allows to put her through all sorts of mental and emotional roller coaster rides and she’s middle-aged at this point), they play the block/unblock game on a monthly basis.
That same energy she has for who hurt me? She needs to give her own self a triple portion for the clown in her life. In fact, I’ve said to her that I think she is actually projecting on “my guy” because she doesn’t have the courage to do the same with her own (ouch and amen).
And that is why the video above this point is so fitting. Yeah, I’m pretty sure that you’ve seen a hamster in a hamster wheel before. Hmph. All that running and not getting any damn wear. Cyclic patterns are just like that — and if you are in a cyclic situation, how can you NOT be wasting your time? What can going around and around and getting nowhere be a way of using your time wisely. You wanna master time management? Leave the people, places, things and ideas that are counterproductive AF TOTALLY alone. FOR GOOD.
A way to get off of your own hamster wheel hack: The thing that is your “wheel,” think about the ways that it takes you backwards and keeps you stuck. Then get REALLY HONEST about what needs to be done to move you forward. THEN DO THAT THING.
____
Author Micheal Altshuler once said, “The bad news is time flies. The good news is you're the pilot” — and as I wrap this up, when it comes to time management, truer words have not been spoken.
The beautiful thing about time management is you have the ability to manage your own.
Hopefully now you know how to do that a bit better.
So that you can get the absolute most out of your time.
Amen? YES.
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