We're really starting to cook with our Saturn in Capricorn story, but we're not quite finished laying down the foundation. I know, I know. How much more planning and hard work is it going to take until we start seeing results?!
Patience is a virtue, and before you rush off with your half-finished blueprint, it's important to hear what Mercury the Winged Messenger has to say about all of this.
Mercury governs communication, thoughts, and transportation, and on January 11th, he moves from upbeat, optimistic fiery Sagittarius into practical, grounded Capricorn.
Since December 3rd, when he went Retrograde, Mercury has been going over the big picture with a highlighter and an editing tool to make sure you're clear on what your inspired vision is. So, this is it, last call to fine tune your blueprints before we plant the seeds on the Capricorn New Moon next week.
Aries
Alright Rams, Mercury has been crisscrossing your House of Higher Education, Distant Travel, and Philosophy for a few months now, gathering all the receipts to back up your ascent to the top of your game. Now the time has arrived to take those philosophies and apply them to your work. Chat that real ish, Aries, but make sure you can back up everything you say with tangible action. Whatever you do, don't say what you're unwilling to commit to!
Taurus
You've just about seen and heard it all while Mercury was in your House of Transformation, Secrets, and Other People's Money, but that's actually a good thing, Taurus. Whatever you learned behind closed doors is asking to be broadcasted to the world. Remember you're creating a brand-new world view and philosophy, share what fits for now, then let go of the rest. Try not to get too comfortable with what you believe just yet, come springtime all that you thought you knew will be radicalized.
Gemini
Enough chit-chat, Gemini...well at least enough chit-chat without backing it up with some tangible actions. You've already waxed poetic about your partnerships and how grand they're going to be, so now it's time to put up or shut up. When you speak of deeply connecting with others, do it not only in your mind, but also with your physical presence and your rapt attention. Focus, give some intensity, say how you're going to commit, and then actually do it.
Cancer
Take your mind off the day to day details, Little Crab. You've been neck deep in spreadsheets, to-do lists, and tending to either your own health or the well-being of those around you. You've been fabulous, Cancer, but there are some very important people in your life who are demanding some much-needed one-on-one facetime from you. Pick up the phone, make a date to go out, and talk to the people who are interested in building solid relationships with you. Now that your head is in the game, it should be easier to connect from the heart.
Leo
Everyone knows what a natural talent you are Leo, and with Mercury having just finished with your House of Creativity, it's time to get more grounded with what you can really do. Health and Daily Routines doesn't sound especially fun nor glamorous I know, but if you put the same amount of thought and effort into this area of your life, you'll surely shine in no time. Treat your mind, body, and spirit like a stage upon which you can perform. Do for yourself and do it for the people, inspire us with the new story of what it means to take care of oneself with style.
Virgo
Mercury has been nestled deep in your House of Home and Family since November, encouraging you to explore the past. Childhood memories, nostalgia, trips down memory lane, or even just more time spent at home has been good for your mind, Virgo. But Mercury is leaving the nest now to go out and play with the rest of the planets hanging out in your creative sandbox. Your creative confidence quickly grows to a point where you don't mind being the center of attention, outlining your cleverly crafted plans that can literally change your life.
Libra
Being a bit of a homebody doesn't have to mean being lonely. You're a naturally social creature, so with Mercury entering your House of Home and Family, you may want to invite some chattering friends into your home. Try the friends who have similar curiosities to you or who might also be interested in nesting, redecorating, and being unafraid of discussing family baggage. Who knows, you may even convince them to help you paint your place!
Scorpio
Mercury has been focusing his attention on your resources and values: balancing the budget, tossing out old concepts about self-worth and wealth, reimagining how abundant and satisfied you can be in life. Now that the Winged Messenger is moving into your domain of communications, siblings, and the local neighborhood, you may want to start talking about what you learned. You're so perceptive, Scorpio, why don't you teach us what you know? It's time for the student to consider becoming the teacher!
Sagittarius
If it feels like your wheels have been spinning in the mud, Centaur. That should begin to change once Mercury leaves after a long stay in your sign. Over the last three years, Saturn helped to crystalize who you are and what you believe in. With Mercury arriving in your House of Self Esteem, Values, and Money, you can finally start speaking with optimistic, yet practical authority. You earned it, now don't be shy about speaking your truth to power. For every word you say, back it up with that action.
Capricorn
One last hurrah in the Land of Introspection, Sea Goats. Mercury has been helping you perceive beyond the veil into some really strange and mystical parts of your own soul. The good, the bad, and the ugly all exists in the subconscious and Mercury is crossing over the threshold to deliver the news about the cosmic upgrade you just received. The new topic of conversation is YOU! All about you and how you're about to conquer the world with Saturn at your side. Show out, Capricorn!
Aquarius
Mercury has been in your home domain of Hopes, Dreams and Wishes, Aquarius. So maybe you've been more social than usual with your normal group of rebels and revolutionaries but now the hour has arrived for you to take your mind into the unknown. Solitude can be a bit alarming but don't panic, instead tap into the deeper Universe, and let your imagination provide you with unexpected wisdom. Just be sure to come back up for air, Water Bearer, sometimes mental travel through space and time can make anyone go crazy.
Pisces
What have you learned about the ups and downs of ambition and ladder climbing, Pisces? Your life is becoming a little less about your own reputation and more about how your experiences can be shared with the collective. Let us know what wisdom your intuition and experience has given to you over the last three years. Allow Mercury to give concrete yet inspiring words to those in need of your insight.
What does your horoscope say about your sign this week? Let us know in the comments down below.
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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If, while on your continual journey to get the best out of your own tresses, you’d like to learn how to get them healthier than it’s ever been, I’ve got seven acids that are typically known for skin use that can be just as beneficial to your hair as well.
1. Salicylic Acid
When it comes to your skin, salicylic acid is beta-hydroxy acid that is great for your skin if you’re looking for something that will exfoliate it, clear out your pores and dissolve dead skin cells. In fact, this is why it’s an acid that is quite popular when it comes to treating acne.
Your hair will enjoy salicylic acid because, if you’re looking to remove product build-up, you want to soothe an itchy or irritated scalp or you’ve got some dandruff flakes that are totally driving you up the wall, salicylic acid has the ability to treat all of this. Either purchasing a shampoo that contains this ingredient or adding it to your favorite scalp scrub is probably the most effective way to get the most out of it.
Just make sure that if your scalp is sensitive or dry that you approach with caution. In these instances, it could end up irritating your scalp more than helping it out, so use a very little bit in the beginning to make sure that it vibes with you.
2. Lactic Acid
Lactic acid is an alpha hydroxy acid that can help to even out your skin tone as well as slow down the signs of aging. The properties in it help to do this by reducing hyperpigmentation and boosting collagen production in your skin as well as keeping it hydrated.
Why is it great for your locks? For one thing, lactic acid is considered to be a humectant. This means that it pulls water from the air so that your hair is able to remain moisturized.
Another thing that makes it a winner is the fact that lactic acid breaks down dead skin cells on your scalp (so that your hair follicles are able to flourish), it can help to soften and detangle your hair (making it a helpful addition on your wash days) and it also helps to protect your tresses from heat styling tools and UV damage. Applying a hair rinse that’s made up of part lactic acid and part water can work wonderfully (so long as you apply it once a month, tops; more than that might be too “intense” for your hair strands).
3. Glycolic Acid
Glycolic acid is a water-soluble alpha hydroxy acid that is actually made from sugar. Your skin will adore it because it smooths the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, improves the texture of your skin, gently exfoliates, clears your pores and brightens up your complexion overall.
The reasons why you should consider this acid for your hair is because it helps to keep your scalp youthful (and yes, there is such a thing; check out “Your Scalp Ages Six Times Faster Than Your Face. Why It Matters.”), removes excess sebum (that could be clogging up your hair follicles) and it helps to keep your hair moisturized. Your best bet here is to make it a part of your pre-shampooing ritual.
4. Succinic Acid
Succinic acid is an acid that is made from sugar cane and contains antimicrobial and anti-inflammatory properties. Although it doesn’t exactly exfoliate (like many of these other acids do), it can still be beneficial to your skin when it comes to reducing the kind of irritation that is associated with eczema, decreasing the bacteria that leads to breakouts and keeping your skin pretty hydrated.
As far as your hair goes, this is an acid that is worth trying out because it helps to balance the sebum that is on your scalp, remove dead skin and product build-up that can irritate your scalp and clog your hair follicles and, succinic acid is also beneficial when it comes to reducing dandruff and helping to prevent hair loss. Most people tend to apply this as a serum.
5. Hyaluronic Acid
I’ve officially sung the praises of hyaluronic acid on this platform before. One example is via the article, “Why Your Skin, Hair, And Nails Need Hyaluronic Acid Like...Yesterday.” On the skin tip, hyaluronic acid is great because it deeply hydrates your skin, contains anti-aging properties and can even bring relief to vaginal (including vulvar) dryness.
Your hair will adore this particular acid because it aids moisture to it (including your hair follicles), will help to improve your hair’s texture and it also soothes scalp dryness, nurtures the cuticles of your tresses and decreases frizz. Using a serum rich in this acid as a pre-poo or as a leave-in conditioner is recommended.
6. Azelaic Acid
If you’ve never heard of azelaic acid before, this is your lucky day. It’s a dicarboxylic acid that, when it comes to skincare (and hair care) products, is usually synthetic. Anyway, if you are looking for a way to reduce inflammation, even skin tone after a breakout or if you want to use an exfoliant that will improve the texture of your skin overtime, you might want to give this acid a shot.
This one makes the list as far as your hair is concerned because, if achieving more inches is your current focus, azelaic acid might come in handy. That’s because it is able to strengthen your hair, thicken your strands and also stimulate hair growth from within your hair follicles.
7. Glutamic Acid
Glutamic acid is actually a type of amino acid. Skin-wise, it’s great for deeply hydrating your skin as well as protecting it from pollutants and damaging UV rays. Also, if you’re looking for an acid that treats skin dryness or “tightness,” this could be the answer to your prayers.
Since glutamic acid is also considered to be a humectant, it’s another acid that can moisturize your hair. As a result, it can decrease breakage while helping your hair to feel smooth and look shiny.
BONUS: Amino Acids
Speaking of amino acids and hair, please try to keep some amino acids in your diet at all times. The reason why is because, since your hair is made up of mostly protein (keratin, to be exact), amino acids are pretty darn effective when it comes to helping you to maintain the overall health and well-being of your hair.
Ones to prioritize include proline (it boosts collagen so that your hair strands can maintain flexibility); arginine (it increases blood flow to your hair follicles so that they can receive the nutrients that they need); cysteine (it helps to keep your hair follicles healthy); alanine (it helps your system to produce more collagen), and isoleucine (it strengthens the tissues that help to make up your hair strands). All of these are available in supplement form or you can use Google to see which foods contain them.
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Although it might initially seem odd to apply acid to your hair, as you can see, certain ones will work miracles for it. So, test them out to see which one tickles your fancy.
Hell, since they work for your skin as well — it’s a two-for-one deal that is worth every penny!
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