Earlier this year, while talking to a married couple about how their sex life was going, the wife brought up something that, believe it or not, I’ve been asked several times before: “I don’t know if it’s all in my head or not but there are times when [my husband] devours me and then there are times when he is less enthused.”
When I waited for the husband to confirm or deny, at first, it took him a second: “I’m always going in. Sometimes I’m confused because it tastes different, though. Is that weird?”
Nope. It absolutely isn’t because the reality is that the vagina goes through all kinds of changes — ones that, a sexually attentive man, is going to take notice of.
So, let’s talk about it. If there are indeed moments where either your man directly mentions that you taste a bit different down below or you sense that he feels that way, it’s (probably) not all in his head. Here is what science says could be the underlying cause(s).
Possible Reasons You Taste Different During Oral Sex
The Time of Month That It Is
GiphyA part of the reason why I wrote the article, “Vaginal Discharge. Arousal Fluid. Cervical Mucus. What's The Difference?” earlier this year is because it’s important to know that all of the fluid that comes out of your vagina isn’t automatically or necessarily the same thing. Know what else? Due to hormonal shifts, the time of the month that you are in can affect the amount, texture and even taste of these things which is something that you and your partner must always stay aware of.
For instance, just like stress can alter the regularity of your periods and even how wet or dry your vagina is, it can also impact how your arousal fluid looks, feels and even tastes. Typically, not drastically so yet enough for a very observant partner to potentially take note of.
Your pH Balance Is Off
GiphyWhen you get a chance, do me a favor and check out “Sis, This Is How To Keep Your Vagina's pH Balanced.” There are several reasons why it’s a good idea to maintain a healthy pH balance; however, as it relates to this topic, in particular, you’ve got to remember that your pH is all about how acidic or alkaline your vagina is. And so, if your pH is a bit off-balance and it’s too acidic, it can cause your vagina to taste more metallic instead of sour (sour is pretty normal).
Or, if it’s too alkaline, it can have a fishy smell and aftertaste (which usually means that you’ve got some sort of infection going on).
You’re Dehydrated
GiphyIf your partner tells you that everything smells and tastes stronger or that he notices that you are saltier than usual, you very well could be dehydrated. It’s important to keep in mind that although your vagina is self-cleaning, it needs water in order to function properly. Not only that but, the more water that you consume, the more you are able to flush out toxins and bacteria — and a healthy and well-hydrated vagina is a tastier one!
You’re Eating Sulfur-Strong Foods
GiphyIf you check out the article, “Check Out These 10 Ways To Make Your Vagina Smell So Much Better,” something that I mention is how sulfur-enriched foods have a way of impacting how your urine and vagina secretions smell and, to a certain extent, even taste. Although the scent is temporary, this is a good thing to keep in mind if you plan on getting some oral action in after a dinner date. Oh, and for the record, some foods that are full of sulfur include onions, garlic, cabbage, broccoli and asparagus.
The Medications That You’re Taking
GiphySomething else that can alter the taste, smell or texture of your vagina is certain types of medications. Antibiotics and steroids can make you more susceptible to yeast infections (which could cause your discharge to taste a bit like sour milk). Antidepressants, diuretics and antihistamines can reduce your natural lubrication (which can make whatever you have going on below seem “on concentrate”). So, before getting a prescription, ask your doctor what vaginal/sexual side effects you may have and what you can do about them, if that is indeed in the case.
Your Period Isn’t Completely Over
GiphyWhether it’s stress, hormones or you’re dealing with perimenopause — sometimes periods don’t come or leave when we want or expect them to and yes, that can result in a bit of blood popping up in the most inopportune times. And so, if your partner says that you smell or taste a little like a copper penny, that could be because of blood. Nothing to really fret about, though. Period blood isn’t dangerous or anything — although it can be an indicator of underlying health issues. You can read more about that here.
You’ve Overdoing Caffeine (Just a Bit)
GiphyIf your vagina tastes kind of bitter, it could be because you’re enjoying a bit too much java. Yep, word on the street is things like caffeine, smoking and even consuming too many highly-processed foods can make your vagina more acidic and that can leave a really bitter taste in his mouth. Pun intended…and not intended at the same time.
You Need to Consume More Greek Yogurt
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If you were to read “10 Ways To Have An 'Extra Sweet' Vagina,” something that you would notice is the big shout-out that I gave to kefir which is a fermented milk that is high in probiotics. Yeah, probiotics are essential when it comes to maintaining optimal vaginal health because it puts “good bacteria” into your vagina — and that can help to keep your pH levels right where they need to be, so that your vagina tastes as it should.
No, not like a hot fudge sundae (even cups of pineapples a day won’t achieve that) but again, a combination of somewhat sour, slightly sweet with a touch of bitter is more than natural and okay.
Bon Appetit! Tell him that I said it. #wink
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So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
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Apparently, there was a Thanksgiving episode that featured all of the friends having dinner together. And y’all, there was simply no way that I was going to mention the latter without shouting out the original (amen?).
Okay, so with that out of the way — Friendsgiving. Something that I appreciate about twists to holidays like this is that it’s a reminder that there is no one way to celebrate special occasions. And so, if, for whatever the reason, you will not or cannot be with family during the holiday season, there are certainly other alternatives at your disposal.
That being said, if the thought of spending time with friends this Thanksgiving is something that you’d like to do, yet you’re not sure how to host it in a way that will make Friendsgiving a fan favorite for your entire circle — I’ve got 10 suggestions that can make the planning process easy as pumpkin (or sweet potato) pie.
1. Position Chrysanthemums or Orchids for Your Table Décor
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Let’s start with décor first. Listen, aside from cleaning up your place, you don’t have to be over the top. If you put together a really nice centerpiece or put a flower at each table setting, honestly, you’re all good. And if you’re someone who is big on details and symbolism, my recommendation would be to go with some chrysanthemums and/or orchids.
When it comes to chrysanthemums, not only are they a peak fall flower, they represent things like friendship and happiness. And orchids? They tend to bloom during the fall and spring seasons and, not only are they about luxury, certain orchid colors also symbolize friendship (for the record, yellow roses symbolize friendship too). Perfect.
2. Incorporate Scents That Cultivate Gratitude
Speaking of cultivating a warm and inviting space, you can never go wrong with scented soy candles — or at least having an essential oil diffuser in a few spots. Some scents that actually help to bring in the spirit of gratitude include vanilla, jasmine, ginger, cedarwood and frankincense.
3. Use Upscale Paper Products to Dine With
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Let’s be real — a lot more of us would probably host events in our home if it wasn’t for the mess that is left behind in our kitchen once the festivities are over. Wanna avoid that? Use paper plates. No, I don’t mean the cheap Styrofoam ones. SMDH. These days, there are paper (and plastic) plate brands that will low-key blow your mind when it comes to how bougie they look. Some that are worth considering are located here, here and here.
4. Handwrite Thank-You Notes (Use Them As Place Settings)
If you’re like Tiffany (from the HBO series Insecure — what a time) was at that memorable dinner party when all hell broke loose between Lawrence and Issa and you’re pretty anal — I mean, particular — LOL — about place settings, it’s a nice touch to pick up some blank thank-you cards that you can write a personalized “I’m thankful for you because…” message in. Place each one where you’d like each friend to sit. They won’t see it coming and it’s a really nice touch.
5. Have Everyone Bring Their Favorite Homemade Dish
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Okay, and what if what has you on the fence about hosting is you don’t feel like doing a ton of cooking? Chile, this is where the concept of having a potluck comes in. Get everyone to bring the dish that they claim they cook the best and make sure to let them know how many individuals you plan on coming (so that they will make enough). You can even make a game out of it by having everyone anonymously vote for the first, second and third best dishes out of the bunch. Take it up a notch by having a prize for each winner.
6. Take a Warm Drink and Dessert Poll Beforehand
You know what isn’t discussed enough about dinner parties? Folks bringing desserts that other people don’t even like. SMDH. You can avoid this from becoming an issue at your Friendsgiving by sending an email (most people prefer that to group chats; let’s be real — and make sure to BCC everyone as well) asking everyone to share what their top three favorite desserts and warm drinks are. Then pick the top 2-3 out of the bunch. That way, you won’t have a ton of (for instance) coffee cake or apple cider lying around that no one even wanted in the first place.
7. Create a Signature Friendsgiving Mocktail and Cocktail
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Speaking of drinks, another way to make your Friendsgiving memorable is to come up with a signature mocktail (for those who don’t consume alcohol) and cocktail. For the mocktail, you can also poll your friends about their favorite mocktail or fruits and come up with a mixture of your own. For the cocktail — although National Friendship Day is actually in August, I did peep that there are certain drinks that have been created in its honor. Some of them are located here for you to do a bit of tweaking on (if you’d like).
8. Ask Everyone to Share Their “Favorite Friend Quality” of Another
You know how it’s customary for everyone to go around and share what they are truly thankful for before having dinner? Well, to continue along with the Friendsgiving theme, have each person share what their favorite friend quality is about the person to their right. If folks are just meeting each other for the first time, instead they can share what they value the most in friendship overall, along with a story of how it was displayed to them personally over the past 12 months.
9. Send Each of Your Guests Home with a Fresh Gratitude Journal
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Wanna send folks home with a nice parting gift? It would be so on-trend to give each of them a gratitude journal. Listen, we are in some crazy times right through here (at least in the States) and so, encouraging your friends to set some time aside, regularly, to think about and then outwardly express what they are grateful for? That helps to keep stress down, keep things in perspective and it reminds us all to maintain a positive mindset as much as possible.
10. Watch a Nostalgic Movie
While everyone is enjoying dessert and drinks, how about watching a movie that brings back fond memories? A list of some of the most popular movies to come out previous Thanksgiving weekends is located here and a list of some favorite Black holiday-themed films can be found here. It’s a way to wind down and share some laughs before everyone heads home.
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Friendsgiving. What a wonderful way to celebrate your friends while also observing Thanksgiving in a way that is totally on your terms. And now that you know how to put it together, what are you waiting for? Hit your friends up and let them know that, whether it’s on actual Thanksgiving Day or a few days before or after, you’ve got a special dinner in mind.
One that has a good time with amazing friends written ALL over it.
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