I love birthdays.
I spend time coming up with fun and interesting ideas each year because I believe that birthdays should be memorable for both you and the people you choose to celebrate with. But this past birthday was different.
I still did something out of the box (I hosted a clothing swap party themed birthday), but I felt different. For the first time in my adulthood, I actually began to feel like an adult. *Cues Beyonce "Grown Woman'*
This year I turned 27 and it was as if all of my hopes and dreams were staring me right in the face. But rather stalling or running in the opposite direction, I felt something forcefully pulling me towards them. I was compelled and I didn't feel there was anything in the way of me achieving said dreams. I've always had aspirations, and I'll admit I've been procrastinating; but when I turned 27, it was do or die. Not in a desperate way, but more of a seizing the moment kinda way.
I felt my purpose more than ever.
Prior to my 27th birthday, I decided to take the time to focus on myself and really grasp who I was and the person I wanted to be. To achieve this, I began practicing meditation, reading inspirational books, and writing down goals and mantras. And when I actually turned 27, it's as if all the stars aligned and I began living my best life. I was, for the most part, always in a good mood, I felt empowered, gained more confidence, and I was being more disciplined in my goals. Overall, paraphrasing what Drake said, I liked who I was becoming.
I was ecstatic to share my newfound perspective and experiences after my 27th birthday with a friend and she eagerly informed me that she, too, felt a sense of self when she turned 27. I soon found out that the rest of my friend circle experienced similar feelings. And then I shared the exciting news with my dad and asked him if he had any similar experiences at 27, and that's when I learned that he and my mom actually met at that age and within months of knowing each other, they moved across the country to start their new lives together.
Hearing these stories, I knew that the number 27 had to have a special meaning. If you look into numerology, the number 27 is reduced to the number 9 (2+7=9) and the number 9 represents the end of a cycle. My life path is 1, which means new beginnings and 1 and 9 are the only two numbers that involves a transition between period cycles, especially at age 27.
Transition means change and a lot of times, we grow through changes and become more self-aware. I can honestly say that I am on a path to self-identity and I am enjoying every minute of it. While we don't typically look at 27th birthdays as a milestone birthday, it can still signify a momentous period in your life where everything can start to take shape in your life, like it did for me. You may also begin receiving clarity on relationships that were once hard to maintain or you might decide that it's time to embark on a new career path.
Although turning 27 has been a blissful, life-changing event for me, anyone can view their birthday as a way to form new beginnings.
Have you ever experienced a birthday that changed your life for the better? Let us know in the comments below!
Related Stories:
For Women Who Feel Like They Have To Constantly Chase What's Next - Read More
The Black Girl's Guide To Adulting - Read More
Here's A List Of 30 Companies That Will Give You Free Sh*t on Your Birthday - Read More
How I Took My Power Back After Fibroids Crashed My 35th Birthday - Read More
Featured image by Getty Images
RELATED
Camesha created the organization after her struggles with mental health and the lack of community she experienced. The Chicago native explains how she created Sista Afya to be rooted in “culturally grounded care.”
pixelheadphoto digitalskillet/ Shutterstock
“So at my organization, Sista Afya Community Care, we focus on providing mental health care through a cultural and gender lens,” she tells xoNecole. “So when we think about the term intersectionality, coined by Kimberlé Crenshaw, we think about the multiple identities that lead to certain experiences and outcomes as it relates to Black women.
“So in the context of culturally grounded care, being aware of the cultural history, the cultural values, and then also the current issues that impact mental health outcomes.”
Words like “strong” and “independent” have long been associated with Black women for some time and many of us have begun to embrace the soft life and are using rest as a form of resistance. However, some of us still struggle with putting ourselves first and overall shedding the tainted image of the “strong, Black woman” that had been forced on us.
Camesha shares that while there’s more and more communities being created around empowerment and shared interests like running, she still questions, “are Black women really comfortable with being vulnerable about sharing their experiences?”
Being vulnerable with ourselves and others play an important role in healing the instinctive nature of always being “on” for everyone. “I'm currently facilitating a group on high functioning depression, and yesterday, we talked about how when Black women may be struggling or have shared their concerns with other people. They may be minimized, or they're told to just be strong, or it's not so bad, or I went through something worse back in Jim Crow era, so you should be thankful,” she explains.
“So I think there's a challenge with Black women being able to be honest, to be vulnerable and to receive the support that they need in the same capacity as how much they give support to other people. So that is probably a very common theme. I think we've made a lot of progress when we talk about the superwoman syndrome, the mammy stereotype, the working hard stereotype, the nurturing stereotype. I think we're beginning to unpack those things, but I still see that we have definitely a long way to go in that area.”
I think there's a challenge with Black women being able to be honest, to be vulnerable and to receive the support that they need in the same capacity as how much they give support to other people.
Roman Samborskyi/ Shutterstock
While we’re unpacking those things, we know that we’re still women at the end of the day. So as we continue to serve in various roles like mothers, daughters, sisters, and caretakers, we have to make caring for ourselves a priority. Camesha reveals four ways we can still care for others without abandoning ourselves.
Trust
First things first, trust. Camesha explains, “Some of the burdens that Black women have can be linked to not feeling like you can trust people to carry the load with you.
“It's hard because people experience trauma or being let down or different experiences, but one of the things that I found personally is the more that I'm able to practice trust, the more I'm able to get my needs met. Then, to also show up as my best to care for other Black women.”
Know Your Limitations
Another thing Camesha highlighted is Black women knowing their limitations. “The other thing that I would like to bring up in terms of a way to care for yourself is to really know your limitations, or know how much you can give and what you need to receive,” she says.
“So often, what I see with Black women is giving, giving, giving, giving, giving to the point that you're not feeling well, and then not receiving what you need in return to be able to feel well and whole individually. So I really think it's important to know your limitations and know your capacity and to identify what it is that you need to be well.”
Don’t Take On A Lot Of Responsibilities
Next on the list is not taking on so many responsibilities, sharing herself as an example. “The other thing is taking on too much responsibility, especially in a time of vulnerability.
“One thing that I personally struggled with was being so passionate about community mental health for Black women, and saying yes to everything and taking on so much responsibility,” she reveals. “That affected me to do well in serving Black women and then also impacting my own well being.”
Practice Self-Care
Lastly, she notes the importance of practicing self-care. “The last thing is really practicing regular self care, regular community care, so that it's embedded into your daily life. So for me, having prepared meals, going to the gym, getting eight hours of sleep, spending time with friends and family, all of those things are part of my self care that keep me at my best,” she explains.
“Then community care, leaning into social networks or social groups, or spending time with other interests or hobbies. That's a part of my community care that keeps me going, so that I can take care of my needs, but also to be able to show up best in care for others.”
Find out more about Camesha and Sista Afya Community Care at communitycare.sistaafya.com.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by AS Photo Family/ Shutterstock