I love birthdays.
I spend time coming up with fun and interesting ideas each year because I believe that birthdays should be memorable for both you and the people you choose to celebrate with. But this past birthday was different.
I still did something out of the box (I hosted a clothing swap party themed birthday), but I felt different. For the first time in my adulthood, I actually began to feel like an adult. *Cues Beyonce "Grown Woman'*
This year I turned 27 and it was as if all of my hopes and dreams were staring me right in the face. But rather stalling or running in the opposite direction, I felt something forcefully pulling me towards them. I was compelled and I didn't feel there was anything in the way of me achieving said dreams. I've always had aspirations, and I'll admit I've been procrastinating; but when I turned 27, it was do or die. Not in a desperate way, but more of a seizing the moment kinda way.
I felt my purpose more than ever.
Prior to my 27th birthday, I decided to take the time to focus on myself and really grasp who I was and the person I wanted to be. To achieve this, I began practicing meditation, reading inspirational books, and writing down goals and mantras. And when I actually turned 27, it's as if all the stars aligned and I began living my best life. I was, for the most part, always in a good mood, I felt empowered, gained more confidence, and I was being more disciplined in my goals. Overall, paraphrasing what Drake said, I liked who I was becoming.
I was ecstatic to share my newfound perspective and experiences after my 27th birthday with a friend and she eagerly informed me that she, too, felt a sense of self when she turned 27. I soon found out that the rest of my friend circle experienced similar feelings. And then I shared the exciting news with my dad and asked him if he had any similar experiences at 27, and that's when I learned that he and my mom actually met at that age and within months of knowing each other, they moved across the country to start their new lives together.
Hearing these stories, I knew that the number 27 had to have a special meaning. If you look into numerology, the number 27 is reduced to the number 9 (2+7=9) and the number 9 represents the end of a cycle. My life path is 1, which means new beginnings and 1 and 9 are the only two numbers that involves a transition between period cycles, especially at age 27.
Transition means change and a lot of times, we grow through changes and become more self-aware. I can honestly say that I am on a path to self-identity and I am enjoying every minute of it. While we don't typically look at 27th birthdays as a milestone birthday, it can still signify a momentous period in your life where everything can start to take shape in your life, like it did for me. You may also begin receiving clarity on relationships that were once hard to maintain or you might decide that it's time to embark on a new career path.
Although turning 27 has been a blissful, life-changing event for me, anyone can view their birthday as a way to form new beginnings.
Have you ever experienced a birthday that changed your life for the better? Let us know in the comments below!
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In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
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