Having just returned from a tropical excursion to Curaçao earlier in the month, I was ready for yet another opportunity for some R&R. This time, instead of the Caribbean’s promise of an island paradise, I made my way back to The States to the white-sand coastline of South Florida—Fort Lauderdale, to be exact.
The crystal clear water of the idyllic Fort Lauderdale Beach is a sight to behold, and the award-winning W Fort Lauderdale acts as a perfect luxurious complement to your beachy escape. Nestled on a beachfront location along 315 feet of the coastline, the lavish hotel is within walking distance of the beach, must-try restaurants, and Fort Lauderdale’s bustling nightlife and social scene.
But even if you rarely want to leave the property, from the 24/7 Whatever Whenever room service to the access to a WET Deck that entices you to lounge near the pool and a wealth of curated experiences, the W Fort Lauderdale comes equipped with amenities galore that ensure guests have everything they need in one place. It was undoubtedly the perfect place for me to kick back, relax, and unwind.
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The Rooms
The W Signature bed in one of the W Fort Lauderdale's king rooms.
Sheriden Chanel/xoNecole
The attention to detail can be felt in the chic design of the hotel, with inspiration drawn from the very ocean the property boasts sweeping waterfront views within each and every one of the 447 rooms. Speaking of the rooms, similar to the nautical-inspired decor sprinkled throughout the hotel through intentionally placed surfboards or even looped light fixtures, the subtly gets turned up a notch decor-wise with bold choices like a blue carpet reminiscent of the ocean floor.
Each room also has blue ombre curtains that frame the floor-to-ceiling windows in the bedroom and the bathroom. With an expansive walk-in shower and a soaking bathtub, the destressing elements the bathroom provided helped me fall for the sanctuary of my hotel room even more.
Sheriden Chanel/xoNecole
Sheriden Chanel/xoNecole
The private balcony where you can opt to have breakfast, answer emails, or even just revel in the views of the Atlantic Ocean and the Intracoastal waterway also doesn’t hurt.
The theme of luxurious indulgence is further accentuated through thoughtful touches like terry cloth spa robes, and Comfort Zone amenities, and I’d be remiss not to note the slice of heaven that are the W Signature Beds (and let me just say, they are as tempting as they are inviting).
Luxury Essentials Cart
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The hotel is all about finding luxury in the mundane and reminding yourself that luxury is something we all can have at our fingertips. The team at W Fort Lauderdale also recently unveiled their Luxury Essentials cart. The guest-centric offering is available upon request and allows guests to have access to the finer things in life through on-loan designer and high-end items.
The specially-curated cart emphasizes “taking care of the little things,” and features items like sunglasses, purses, fragrances, fashion tape, hair styling tools, and more from designers like Tom Ford, Gucci, and Christian Dior, to name a few.
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Dining
The Living Room in the W Fort Lauderdale
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Fort Lauderdale might be a lowkey foodie destination, but the W Fort Lauderdale hosts a plethora of dining options without even having to leave the property. With its sleek feng shui design, specialty cocktails, and delicious finger food, the Living Room gives the lobby area a major upgrade. Take the vibes a step further by soaking in the immaculate oceanfront views on the Living Room Terrace.
The W Fort Lauderdale Living Room Terrace
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For a more sit-down dining option, the hotel has El Vez, Steak 954, and SoBe Vegan. El Vez and Steak 954 are two restaurants helmed by Stephen Starr, an award-winning restauranteur, and provide very different vibes while packing tons of flair and flavor.
The dining area at Steak 954
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As its name suggests, El Vez is a restaurant that, in addition to serving incredible Mexican cuisine and craft cocktails, also treats guests to an ambiance featuring incredible oceanfront views. Steak 954 is giving elevated surf and turf with a focus on seafood that is freshly caught and, of course, steaks. Such expertly curated menu selections are complemented perfectly with cocktails as well as fine wines and a stunning visual of the restaurant's 15-foot aquarium, which is home to over 100 jellyfish.
The colorful and vibrant interior of SoBe Vegan's Fort Lauderdale location.
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SoBe Vegan is a fast-casual vegan spot that gives boldness, big color, and big flavor when it comes to its fun vibey decor and menu offerings. The restaurant keeps it all plant-based but isn't afraid to experiment with a variety of vegan takes on popular foods like burgers, sausages, jackfruit tacos, pancakes, milkshakes, and more.
You can also take your time heading out for the day or get your midnight snack on after a night out, thanks to their 24/7 Whatever Whenever room service that has beverages, food options, and even a specially curated late-night menu for after hours.
Jackfruit tacos at SoBe Vegan
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WET Deck
Sheriden Chanel/xoNecole
Sheriden Chanel/xoNecole
Just a flight of stairs away from the Living Room is the hotel's WET Deck, where shoes are optional, and bathing suits are a must. The rooftop pool sizzles just as much as it sparkles. Features like black and white tiled decks and the pool's transparent walls make for an Insta-worthy time whether you decide to lounge in a day bed underneath some much-welcomed shade, sunbathe in lounge chairs directly underneath the sun's rays, or get your feet wet and take a refreshing dip in the water.
What's even better is that guests can also enjoy colorful cocktails and treat their taste buds to light bites at the poolside bar. You'll never want to leave.
AWAY Spa
The pedicure station in the AWAY Spa
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One thing about me, I'm going to book the massage, and the AWAY Spa perfectly encapsulates its mission to "detox, retox, and repeat." Pamper yourself with signature massage and facial treatments. From Detox Treatments and Prescription Facials to 50- or 80-minute full-body massages, there is something on the spa treatment menu for everyone.
The colorful and vibrant touches of the W Fort Lauderdale can be seen boldly throughout the spa, which still manages to be a tranquil oasis.
The interior of the AWAY Spa in the W Fort Lauderdale
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The outside terrace at the AWAY Spa
Sheriden Chanel/xoNecole
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Guests can shower before slipping into their robes and sitting in the waiting area or on the patio, where you can take in picturesque views and have a beverage before heading into their massages. The AWAY Spa has a full beauty menu that includes hair, makeup, and nail services. Everything you need, the AWAY Spa has thought of it.
Additional Perks
As a dog mom who likes to find excuses to take her dog anywhere with me, the fact that the W Fort Lauderdale is dog-friendly really stood out to me. And since elevation is the name of the game for the hotel, dogs are welcome to have their own “treat yourself” moment. In addition to hotel rooms, dogs are permitted in the Living Room and the Living Room terrace, as well as on the patios of the on-site restaurants, Steak 954 and El Vez, respectively. During their stay, dogs are provided with a doggie bed, food and water bowls, and a doggie menu that is specially curated, to name a few.
In true bright and bold fashion, the property also provides courtesy white and pink cruiser bicycles for guests to use to exercise or explore Fort Lauderdale staples like the art galleries, shopping, and dining options of Las Olas. You could also tap into working on your fitness through the 24-hour FIT gym as well as morning workout classes. Information on both experiences can be found here.
All in all, I love the way the W Fort Lauderdale served as a reminder that you don't have to go far to get your fill of a beach escape within a tranquil oasis. Luxury could be found in each and every detail, and I can't wait to return and experience it all over again.
W Fort Lauderdale
401 N Fort Lauderdale Beach Blvd, Fort Lauderdale, FL 33304
Book at (954) 414-8200 or www.wfortlauderdale.com.
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RELATED
Let me start this off by saying that of course, to a certain extent, the answer is subjective because it’s mostly opinion-rather-than-fact driven. However, I personally think that sex is hella impactful, which is why I hope that my personal breakdown will at least cause you to want to think about what you do, who you do it with, and why, more than you may have in the past.
Because although, at the end of the day, the physical aspects of making love, having sex, and f-cking are very similar, you’d be amazed by how drastically different they are in other ways…at the very same time.
Making Love
GiphyBack when I wrote my first book, I wasn’t even 30 at the time and still, one of the things that I said in it is, I pretty much can’t stand the term “make love.” Way back then, I stated that sex between two people who truly love each other and are committed for the long haul, when it comes to what they do in the bedroom, it’s so much more about CELEBRATING love than MAKING it. To make means “to produce” or “to bring into existence;” to celebrate means “to commemorate,” “to perform” or “to have or participate in a party, drinking spree, or uninhibited good time.”
The act of sex, standing alone? It can’t make love happen and honestly, believing otherwise is how a lot of people find themselves getting…got.
What do I mean? Tell me how in the world, you meet a guy, talk to him for a few weeks, don’t even know his middle name or where he was born and yet somehow, you choose to call the first time you have sex with him (under those conditions) “making love.” You don’t love him. You don’t know him well enough to love him. He doesn’t love you either (for the same reason). And yet you’re making love? How sway? Oh, but let that sex be bomb and those oxytocin highs might have you tempted to think that’s what’s happening — and that is emotionally dangerous. And yes, I mean, literally.
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times before, that one of the reasons why I like that the Bible defines sex between a husband and his wife is by using the word “know” (Genesis 4:1) is because, well, I think that is what celebrating love is all about — we know each other well enough to know that we love each other, we know each other well enough to know that we aren’t going anywhere, and that knowing is what makes us want to celebrate that union by getting as close to one another and bringing as much physical pleasure to each other as we possibly can…as often as absolutely possible.
To me, that is what the peak of physical intimacy is all about — and the people who choose to use the term “make love,” it should be seen through this type of lens. When this type of mental and emotional bond comes together via each other’s bodies, they are amplifying love, enjoying love, embracing love.
Making it, though? Chile, the love has already been made. Sex is just the icing on the cake.
Having Sex
GiphyA few nights ago, I found myself rewatching this movie called Four of Hearts (which you can currently view on yep, you guessed it: Tubi). It’s about two married couples — one that is in an open marriage and another that isn’t although they somehow thought that sharing a night with the other couple would be a good idea (chile). Anyway, as one of the partners found themselves getting low-key sprung, the one they fell for said in one of the scenes, “It wasn’t a connection. It was just sex.” JUST. SEX.
Listen, when you decide to let a man put an entire part of his body inside of you at the risk of potentially getting an STI/STD or pregnant (because no form of birth control is 100 percent except for abstinence), it can never be “just sex” (somebody really needed to hear that too). At the same time, though, I got the character’s point because, if one or both people do not love each other or even deeply care for one another and/or sex is treated as an activity more than an act to establish a worthwhile connection and/or you and the person you are sleeping with have not really discussed what you are expecting from sex besides the act itself — you’re definitely not making/celebrating love.
Not by a long shot. What can make things get a bit complicated, though, is you’re doing the same act that “love makers” do without the same mental and emotional ties…or (sometimes) expectations.
You know, back when I decided to put all of my business out there via the piece “14 Lessons I've Learned From 14 Sex Partners,” now more than ever, I am quite clear that most of those guys fell into the “having sex” category. I wasn’t in the type of relationship with them where “making love” even made sense; however, because I was friends with most of them, we weren’t exactly f-cking (which I will get to in just a moment) either. We had a connection of some sort for the bedroom yet not enough to be together in the other rooms of the house.
We were really attracted and curious, so we decided to act on that. Oftentimes, the sex was good and so we rationalized that “having sex” was enough because if the friendship was, eh, “sound enough”, that we could justify the physical pleasure.
And y’all, that’s kind of what having sex is — it’s the limbo (or purgatory, depending on your situation) between making love and f-cking. The thing about limbo ish is it’s a lot like something being lukewarm: it’s not really one thing or another which means that it can completely blindside you, if you’re not careful (and totally honest with yourself as well as your partner(s)).
So, if you are contemplating having sex, I really — REALLY — recommend that you figure out how you feel, what you want (outside of the act itself) and if you are prepared for what “not quites” can bring. My mother used to say that the consequences of sex don’t change just because the circumstances do — and there is some solid “wow” to that, if you really stop to think about it.
GiphyAnd finally, f-ck. Although most experts on the word (and yes, there are some) agree that its origin is rooted somewhere within the German language (although some say that it might’ve come from Middle English words like fyke or fike which mean “to move about restlessly” or the Norwegian word fukka which means “to copulate”), you might have also heard that it is an acronym that once stood for “Fornication Under Consent of the King”; and there is actually some data that is connected to that as well.
Legend has it that way back in the day, in order to keep reproduction rates where a particular king wanted them to be, he would instruct his residents to have sex with each other — whether they were married or not (hence, the word “fornication” being in the acronym). However, because sex outside of marriage was taken far more seriously at the time, residents had to apply for a permit to participate so that the king could determine if things like their occupation and lineage would prove to be beneficial for the kingdom overall. F-ck: no love; just necessity. And although some believe this to be more myth than fact, what is certain is it was only over time that f-ck was seen as a profane/swear/cuss word — a word that was perceived to be so offensive, in fact, that between the years 1795-1965, it didn’t even appear in dictionaries.
Personally, when I think of this four-letter word, the first thing that actually comes to my mind is animals. Take a dog being in heat, for instance. That’s basically when a female dog is ovulating and wants to have sex the most. It’s not because they are “in love” with another dog; they are simply doing what instinctively comes to them — and since animals do not reason or feel at the same capacity that humans do, although they science says that many of them do experience pleasure when they engage in their version of sexual activity, it’s not nearly as layered or even profound as what we experience.
Let’s keep going. Another reason why f-cking makes me think of animals is due to the doggy style position. Hear me out. Ain’t it wild how, most of us pretty much know that the term comes from how dogs have sex, even though most animals have sex that same way — and think about it: Doggy style doesn’t consist of making eye contact or kissing while having intercourse. It’s “hitting from behind” without much emotional energy or effort at all. Just how animals do it. And so, yeah, f-cking does seem to be more about pure animal — or in our case, mammal — instinct. I don’t need to feel anything for someone, so long as the sexual desire is there. Hmph.
Something else that I find to be interesting about f-cking is how dictionaries choose to define it. Many of them are going to provide you with two definitions: “to have sexual intercourse with” and “to treat unfairly or harshly (usually followed by over)” and that definitely makes me think of another term — casual sex and words that define casual like apathetic, careless and without serious or definite intention. So, the dictionary says that while f-cking is about having sexual intercourse — just like making love and having sex is — it goes a step further and says that it can include being treated unfairly or harshly.
And although that can make you think of assault on the surface, for sure — sometimes being treated unfairly or harshly is simply feeling like someone had sex AT you and not really WITH you; instinct (i.e., getting off) and that’s about it. Yeah, the way this puzzle is coming together, f-cking seems to be more about lust and self and not much else.
Now That You Know the Difference, What to Keep in Mind
Y’all, this is definitely the kind of topic that I could expound on until each and every cow comes home. That said, here’s hoping that I provided enough perspective on each act to close this out by encouraging you to keep the following three things to keep in mind:
1. Before you engage in copulation, be honest with yourself about what you’re ACTUALLY doing — and that your partner agrees with you. You know, they say that our brain is our biggest sex organ and honestly, breaking down the differences between making love, having sex and f-cking helps to prove that fact. I say that because, although the sex act itself is pretty much the same across the board, you and your partner’s mindset can make the experience completely different. That said, if you think that you are making love and they think y’all are just having sex — stuff can get pretty dicey. Bottom line: communicate in the bedroom before attempting to connect outside of it. It’s always worth it when you do.
2. Yes, you can feel one way and do something else. I can just about guess what some of y’all are on: Shellie, we can love our partner and still just want to f-ck. If what you are saying is you can emotionally love someone and physically lust them and want to act sometimes on the lust without really factoring in the love — yes, I agree. Doggy style continues to be a favorite sex position for people, in general, and I’m more than confident that many of the participants polled are in a serious relationship. However, having lust-filled sex with someone who you know loves you is vastly different than doing it with someone who you have no clue what they think about you or you barely know at all. Y’all, please just make sure that you know…what you should know. Sex is too amazing to have a lot of regret after it.
3. Have realistic expectations about sex. Listen, so much of my life consists of writing and talking about sex that I will be the first one to say that it deserves a ton of props for what it is able to do, in a wonderful way, for people mentally, emotionally and physically. Yet again, I’m not a fan of “make love” because something that feels really good doesn’t always mean that it is good for you. Meaning, you’ve got to be real about what sex with someone will do to your mind and spirit — not just what it will do for your body. An author by the name of Gabriel García Márquez once said, “Sex is the consolation you have when you can't have love.” For no one, should this be a constant norm. Feel me? I hope you do.
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One act. Three very different experiences.
It’s kind of wild that sex has the ability to create that — and yet, clearly, it does.
Please just make sure that you know which experience you’re signing up for.
So that you’re having sex (you know, in general) instead of sex having you. Real talk.
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