Although the summer season technically doesn’t begin until late June (June 20, to be exact), you and I both know that as soon as Memorial Day Weekend comes and goes, most of us consider it to be summertime. Well, as you’re in the process of making your summer plans (because you are going to go on some sort of vacation, even if it’s just for a long weekend…right?), if getting into some sort of water (outside of the bathtub) is included in them, I thought it would be a good idea to talk about some ways to take care of your vagina (and vulva).
Because, as I’ve shared in a different article (here), when the weather is warmer, you are far more susceptible to experiencing yeast infections (not just in your vagina, either — check out “What To Do For Yeast Infections (On Other Parts Of Your Body)”). Not only that, but if you don’t do certain things that are listed here, you could end up irritating your genital region in other ways too.
So, as you’re out picking up a new swimsuit, here are 10 hacks that can have your vagina (and vulva) enjoying the ocean and pool water as much as you plan to.
1. Be Mindful of How Your Swimsuit Bottoms Fit
GiphyListen, y’all ain’t gonna ever convince me that, out of all of the panty cuts that are out here (and there are several), when it comes to vaginal health, thongs aren’t the most problematic. However, I do agree with health experts who say that if you must wear them, so long as they are made from a breathable fabric, you should, for the most part, be pretty straight.
Keeping that in mind, since a lot of swimsuits are made from materials that tend to trap in moisture, you might want to avoid the ones that have a “thong cut” to them — especially since something else that thongs have a tendency to do is make it easier for bacteria to shift from front to back (and vice versa), if you know what I mean.
2. Apply a Coat of Aquaphor on Your Vulva
GiphyIf vaginal dryness or irritation while in your swimsuit is something that you’re concerned about, you might want to try applying a thin coat of Aquaphor to your vulva (the outer part of your vagina). Not only can it help to keep you nice and moisturized down below, it can even help to bring relief to minor itching (that isn’t associated with a yeast infection).
3. Don’t Hang Out in Damp Clothing
GiphySomething that we all have in our genital region is yeast; a yeast infection is what happens when “bad bacteria” overtake the good. And y’all, if there are two things that are basically like Six Flags to yeast, it’s sugar and wet/damp areas. That’s why it’s a really good idea not to linger in damp clothing for hours at a time, whether it’s due to water or sweat.
4. Immediately Change Your Tampon After Swimming
GiphyPeriods don’t take summer vacations. Still, that shouldn’t prevent you from having a good time. That said, if you want to go swimming, you’re on your cycle and you happen to be a tampon wearer, please put forth the concerted effort to change your tampon right after getting out of the pool or ocean. In a little while, I’m going to get into how the waters that we swim in are usually not as clean as we would like, and so you want to make sure that the bacteria that is in them doesn’t stay up in your vaginal canal, via your tampon, for a long period of time.
Oh, and if you are a menstrual cup gal, those are perfectly fine to use. Just make sure to empty the cup before getting in the water and right after you get out, for the sake of your self-confidence (surrounding leaks) more than anything else.
5. Keep Some Feminine Wipes on Hand
GiphyWhether it’s due to your cycle, you want to remove some extra sweat or sand, or you simply want to feel fresher throughout the day, it can never hurt to keep some feminine wipes close by. Most of them are awesome because they are hypoallergenic, they help to maintain the pH balance of your vagina and they contain ingredients that can help to soothe and protect your vulvar skin.
One brand that makes a variety of different ones, including wipes that contain prebiotics, wipes that are great for sensitive skin, and wipes that have cucumber and aloe in them, is Honey Pot. You can find the wipes that you personally need here.
6. Always Wash Your Swimsuit After Wearing It
GiphyWhen you first get a swimsuit, it’s a good idea to wash it. One reason is because you need to remove any chemicals that could irritate your vulva/vagina/skin, in general. Another reason is because, well, while it would be awesome if stores didn’t sell suits that have been tried on (without panties) before, they can’t always guarantee that will happen. Then, before swimming, rinse your swimsuit out with fresh water, just to get any extra residue out.
Then, when you get out of the water, rinse with fresh water again to remove bacteria, sand, and whatever else may be hanging out in your suit. And finally, make it a point and practice to not wear your suit again until after washing it — I mean, basically for the same reason why you shouldn’t wear yesterday’s panties today.
7. Heads Up: Salt Water Can Dry Your Vagina/Vulva Out
GiphyWhether water is chlorinated or it’s made up of salt water, one thing that it has the ability to do is throw off your vagina’s pH balance. And when it comes to salt water (which is what ocean water is), specifically, if you stay in it for two long, it can also start to dry your vagina and vulva out. This is why it’s wise to rinse yourself in fresh water before getting into the ocean and rinse off once you get out. This is also where the Aquaphor hack that I mentioned earlier comes in rather handy too.
8. Sex in Public Pools and Hot Tubs Is Kinda Gross Because…
GiphyIf you’re feeling a lil’ frisky and you’re thinking about having sex in a pool or hot tub — listen, I’m all for spontaneity. Just make sure that you literally know what you’re getting yourself into because public pools and hot tubs tend to be straight-up breeding grounds for all sorts of bacteria. I mean, pools? You already know that at least one kid has probably peed in it — and hot tubs? I’ll put it to you this way — check out the article, “Just how gross are hot tubs? A microbiologist explains,” when you get a chance. It might convince you to stick to your shower or tub when it comes to copulating. Just sayin’.
9. If You’re Gonna Have Sex in Water, Use Silicone Lubricant
GiphyNo matter what kind of water you decide to get busy in, make sure to keep some lubricant on tap. Since you’re going to be in water, that can wash away your natural arousal fluid/natural lubricant, which could make sex semi-uncomfortable, if you’re not careful. For this, silicone-based lubricant is best; it’s got great “slip,” plus, it’s waterproof.
10. Always Remember That Condoms in the Water Are…Just That
GiphyOne more thing — unless you are in a long-term exclusive or monogamous relationship (and you’re using another form of birth control), be careful about relying on condoms when it comes to “engaging” in the water. Although rubbers may stay on for a couple of minutes, they aren’t exactly designed to be in water for a long period of time and could weaken or fall off entirely. And no matter how appeasing water sex may sound, you might be in for an — eh hem — different kind of ride if your condom shows out on you.
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There you have it — 10 ways to take care of “her” while you’re hanging out by water this summer season. If you apply all of these tips, I have no doubt that she will have a blast from the moment you get into the water until you step out. Enjoy!
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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