
The Relationships In Your Life That Are Desperately In Need Of Boundaries

Boundaries. Whew. I can't even begin to count how many life dramas that I personally could've avoided if I had simply known how to set the proper boundaries; not once the ish had already hit the fan, but from the very beginning. Everyone's story is different, but I think the reason why I struggled so much with it is because I'm a childhood abuse survivor. Abuse is all about violating and disrespecting someone's boundaries. And so, as you're in the process of trying to heal from that, it can be a lifelong journey, learning how to set boundaries and make good and damn well sure that people honor them.
It took me getting into my 30s and learning how to set some boundaries in the form of self-control within myself (which is a part of what my abstinence path has been about) that I learned how to establish boundaries with others. I read books (Boundaries is one that's a must-have). I paid attention to the wisdom of people like author and speaker Brene Brown ("Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others" is a great quote of hers). I spent time alone so that I could figure out what I needed so that I could build my relationships around that. I've "updated" my boundaries when necessary too.
And what I've learned from all of this is there are certain relationships where boundaries are an absolute must. The ones that I want to expound on today are the following seven.
Boundaries with Your Parents
Parents. Boy oh boy. Although I am not a parent myself, I am at the age where a lot of my "love" nieces and nephews are in their 20s. Just this past weekend, I saw one of them and, while I try to be intentional about treating children of any age like "little individuals", I had to remind myself that I have to come at her a different way and respect whatever it is she has going on…differently. Why? Because she's an adult now. She has her own life. All I can do is offer insight, but she's got the full right and freedom to do whatever it is that she wants to do.
It's kind of baffling, how a lot of actual parents of actual adult children don't seem to adhere to this same mindset. It's like they think that we're "grown enough" to live on our own but not grown enough to make decisions they don't agree with or like or, that it is totally ridiculous of us to tell them "no" sometimes.
I will say this—it's an epidemic, how poorly boundaries were taught in a lot of households that some of us confuse overbearing parents with toxic ones (you can read my take on toxic relatives here). On some levels, I do get how, after birthing someone and raising them for 18 years, allowing them to live their own life can be a hard pill to swallow. Still, it must be done. And so, if you are trying to figure out how to establish boundaries with your parents, check out the article "Do Not Obey Your Parents" that features a great role play example of how to say "no", no matter how much pressure or emotional manipulation your parents try and put onto you. Then check out "10 Signs You Might Have Unhealthy Boundaries With Your Mom". You might be surprised by how much you'll be able to relate to that one.
Healthy parents know that their job was to help you to become a mature and responsible adult. Once you are at that point, a part of what comes with adulthood is doing what's best for you, regardless of if they like, understand or agree. You are their child yes, but you are no longer a child.
Do not feel guilty in the least for conveying that—in your words as well as your actions. (If you are a parent of adult children, all of what I said still applies; just in the reverse.)
Boundaries with Your Spouse
Out of all of the boundaries that I'm going to set out to tackle today, I think that the most difficult to maneuver through is setting some appropriate ones with your spouse. After all, they are so close to you that, at least most folks, share a bed, bills and a last name. But marriage is not to be a dictatorship in either direction because no man wants to have sex with his mother and no woman wants to have sex with her dad. That's why it has to be a daily conscious decision to not act like your spouse's parent. Instead, treat your union like the most sacred of partnerships.
Being that boundaries are limits, as far as limits go, the first thing I would say is that your marriage vows (at least traditional ones) address boundaries of loyalty and fidelity. Aside from that, there needs to be a mutual understanding when it comes to expectations. There needs to be no abuse, of any kind. But it also needs to go deeper than that. Married people should agree to not speak negatively of one another to other people. They need to not withhold sex as a way to get what they want or to "teach a lesson". They need to respect one another's view and needs. They need to avoid going below the belt during arguments. They also need to give one another some space.
I could go on and on, but this is an article and not a book on the topic. Luckily, there is a great book that addresses all of this and more. If you are married or are contemplating getting married,Boundaries in Marriage (by Dr. John Townsend and Dr. Henry Cloud) is definitely worth adding to your own personal library.
Boundaries with Your Significant Other
The reason why this gets its own section is because far too many of us make the grave mistake of treating someone we're dating as if they are already our spouse when they absolutely are not (check out "Why You're Always The One Who Prepares A Man For His Wife" sometime). And because they aren't, it is perfectly fine—encouraged even—to get out of anything that no longer serves you well. It doesn't have to be about abuse, them seeing other people without your knowledge or them taking you for granted. It can be as simple as you are dating to see what you want and don't want and, as you discover what that is, you are willing to release who you're with in order to get to the man who complements you best…and most.
I say it as often as I can because it's the truth. Your taxes say that you're single until you are legally married. Not until you've been dating someone for a long time or even until you are engaged. So, no matter how "into someone" you may be, it's OK to have firm limits and to end the relationship, for no deeper reason than you're single and you want to. It's one of the joys of singlehood. Embrace it. Unapologetically so.
Boundaries with Your Friends
Friends—good friends, that is—are one of God's greatest blessings. Hands down. And, to tell you the truth, if you've got healthy friends, this section isn't really necessary to read. I say that because it's been my personal experience and observation that the right kind of friends will honor your boundaries as you do the same. But if you've been on an emotional roller coaster ride in some of your friendships for so long that you don't even know what kind of limits to set, here are a few that you most definitely should. Express your expectations. Never tolerate disloyalty or disrespect. Do not let them monopolize your time, space or resources. Make sure they know that their opinion is not the gospel and they are your friend, not your parent. Pay attention to any behaviors that look like narcissism, always playing the victim role in order to get their way and/or being an emotional vampire. Take an issue with them gossiping about you or breaking confidentiality. Look out for jealous friends (a total oxymoron) and opportunists. Oh, and if they can't forgive but always want their mess and mistakes to be excused? That's another huge red flag.
Again, a good friend already knows all of this, but if you're constantly getting your feelings hurt or even your heart broken by a friend, chances are, it's because either no boundaries are in place or, they keep disrespecting them—and you keep allowing it.
Boundaries with Your “Enemies”
It might seem strange to have a section on enemies, but just hear me out for a sec. If you respect Scripture, even a little bit, and you live on this planet long enough, certain verses start to make more and more sense to you. Take "love your enemies" (Matthew 5:43-48), for example. Love them? If you could love them, y'all wouldn't be enemies, right? Oh, and for the record, enemies aren't just folks that you have knockout-fallouts with. By definition, an enemy may be someone who you choose to distance yourself from because they bring harm into your space, on some sort of level. You don't "hate" them; they just aren't as good for or to you as you know you deserve.
Anyway, it's a good idea to set boundaries with these kinds of people, just so that there can be peace in the midst of it all. Try and keep whatever your issues are with them private (mutually so). Avoid that cryptic-and-somewhat-silly passive aggressive banter that some people do on social media (mutually so). Whatever was shared between the two of you when you weren't enemies, it's important that you both honor that confidentiality. Should you see one another, no one has to sit in the other's lap, but do try and be cordial (and concise).
It takes quite a bit of self-awareness and personal maturity to realize that just because someone may be your enemy, you don't have to constantly be at war. But if you're able to set limits and honor them between one another, you'll be amazed by how at peace the two of you can be. Even if you're not exactly friends (or friends anymore).
Boundaries at Work
As I was in the process of writing this, I skimmed this write-up on Vice's site—"The Backlash to the Popeyes Chicken Sandwich Is Finally Here". It made me think about all of the articles I've read about how employees are working ridiculous hours with no breaks or bumps in pay. Yes, I've had the sandwich (in Durham; can't seem to get a hold of one in Nashville) and yes, it's good. Really good. But I feel a little guilty eating more of them if it comes at the expense of folks being overworked, underpaid and totally miserable (several employees have expressed those exact sentiments to me).
Thinking about what so many Popeyes employees have been going through made me also think about some conversations I've had with some of my friends about the stress and drama that they go through at their job.
A lot of it is due to a lack of boundaries. You know—constantly doing other people's work; always doing what doesn't fit their job description; doing work that they don't get paid for; enduring their employer and/or employees talking to them any ole' kind of way; being expected to honor the employee handbook when everyone around them doesn't; being called in on off days…the list goes on and on.
If this is something you can totally relate to and it's got you on the brink of straight-up snappin', when you get home tonight, have a glass of wine and read "6 Things You Don't Owe Your Boss". For now, if you just want the list, it's this—your health, family, sanity, identity, contacts and integrity. Any workplace that challenges this is a place you need to leave—quick, fast and in a super-duper hurry!
Boundaries with Your Church
If you've ever caught an episode of Larry Reid Live, you know that he is…something else. When it comes to the Church and some of the totally toxic things that transpire within it, he holds not one thing back. Some folks find him insightfully amusing while others, well, absolutely do not. But if there is one thing that I think every church-going person should watch, it's his breakdown of the Jezebel Spirit and how it functions in the Church. Then, after watching that, get free some mo' by reading "Jesus Set Boundaries".
Let's end this article with this point as it relates to where you may attend on Sabbath or Sunday. If the leadership pressures you to give outside of tithing (especially to the point that you can't pay your own bills); if they expect you to be there at the drop of a dime, regardless of what you've personally got going on (whether you're married or single); if you feel manipulated into doing things; if they act like what is going on inside of the church walls is more important than what is transpiring within the four walls of your own home; if they think their vision deserves more attention than your own; if they are never open to correction or rebuke (I Corinthians 5:12 speaks of church folks needing to be more concerned with what's going on inside than outside anyway) and/or if you feel taken for granted or mistreated and, when it's brought to the leadership's attention, it is not promptly addressed—these are just some examples of your boundaries being violated…yes, at your very own church. And violated boundaries, including at a place of worship, should not be overlooked.
A wise person once said, "If someone throws a fit because you set boundaries, it's just more evidence that boundaries are needed." That said, don't you, for one moment ever, feel guilty about setting a boundary. Be clear. Be firm. Be kind. But yes, set them—for the sake of your health, mental sanity and overall quality of life. Amen? Hallelujah indeed.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
I'm Good Luv, Enjoy: How Saying 'No' Keeps Your Life Balance In Check
Unhealthy Workplace Stresses You Need To Break Free From
Feature image by Shutterstock
- Revamping Your Boundaries: What Saturn Retrograde Can Teach ... ›
- Does Your Life Need Boundaries? Signs You Need Healthier ... ›
- Family & Friends Don't Always Know What's Best - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- 3 Things I've Learned About Making Friends As An Adult - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- How I Learned To Create Boundaries With My Toxic Parent - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Someone Treats You Like A Child - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Saturn Retrograde Zodiac Signs - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- 8 Different Types Of Relationships - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- I Love Her But I Don't Like Her Anymore - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- How To Set Boundaries With Yourself - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- How Boundaries Impact Every Area of Your Life and What To Do If ... ›
- A Life of Negotiating Boundaries - Personal Growth - Medium ›
- The Guide to Strong Relationship Boundaries | Mark Manson ›
- The No BS Guide to Setting Healthy Boundaries in Real Life ›
- Drawing Boundaries in our Relationships | Cru ›
- 10 Signs You Might Have Unhealthy Boundaries With Your Mom ... ›
- Why Healthy Relationships Always Have Boundaries & How to Set ... ›
- 5 Reasons Why You Need Boundaries in Your Relationships and Life ›
It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Your May 2025 Monthly Horoscopes Are All About Blooming Softly & Trusting Divine Timing
May is about being patient, nurturing your dreams, and creating beauty in your world. This is a more stable and generous month than the chaos that April brought, and we get an opportunity for closure, healing, and rejuvenation this month. We are still amid some important retrograde transits, but these are ones we can navigate better by grounding our energy in the present moment, and not allowing ourselves to stress over the what-ifs.
With the Sun in Taurus for most of the month, May reminds us that there is beauty in finding your peace and not allowing anyone to disrupt that.
Pluto goes retrograde in Aquarius from May 4 until October 13, and this will be a time of remembering your power when it comes to your purpose, innovations, and the ability to attract support into your life. Mercury moves into Taurus on May 10, making this a good time for negotiations, creating new plans financially, and sticking to your word on something that holds value to you. The Full Moon of the month occurs in Scorpio on May 12, and this is the Flower Moon of the year, signifying growth and seeing the beauty in your life.
This Full Moon is all about letting go of what doesn’t feel authentic or resonate with you emotionally, and about experiencing more closure and healing within relationship matters.
Your May 2025: A Monthly Overview
Gemini Season officially begins on May 20, and we enter air sign energy, which is good for communication, business, and coming up with inspiring and new ideas. On May 24, Saturn enters Aries, beginning its new transit where it will remain for the next few years. Saturn in Aries is bold, direct, and straightforward, but so are its lessons. There is a gift in resilience and finding your strength during this time, and this transit will show you where your power is, but it may challenge you to confront self-limiting behavior in the process.
Mercury enters Gemini on May 25, and Mercury loves being here. Mercury in Gemini is the creative genius, and this is a month of aligning yourself with this energy. On May 26, we have a New Moon in Gemini, and it’s time to set your intentions for where you want a communication breakthrough in your life, and what new ideas you want to start planting the seeds for. This is a good New Moon for networking, exchanging ideas, having more fun, and getting inspired.
Article continues after the jump.
May 2025 Horoscopes for Every Zodiac Sign
Keep reading for your sun, moon, and rising sign below to see what May has in store for you.
ARIES
The impact from April is finally behind you, and you get to move forward this month, Aries. After a month of retrogrades and Eclipses, you are starting to see the progress of what you have been working towards financially this year. The Sun is in your 2nd house of abundance, self-confidence, and values this month, and you are putting your dreams here first.
With Venus also in Aries for the entire month of May, you are feeling the support within and without this month, and this is a beautiful month unfolding.
On May 24, Saturn enters your sign, beginning its transit in Aries, which will last for the next few years. Saturn is the master of tough love, and you are going to be learning a lot about yourself during his time and going through a growth spurt. The New Moon of May is at the end of the month on May 26 and will be giving you the answers and clarity you have been looking for, highlighting open communication in your life. Overall, this is your month of fewer obstacles and more progress.
TAURUS
Taurus Season is officially underway, and you are the main character right now, Taurus. Remember that. This month is about trusting your intuition and the timing of things, and knowing that things are working in your favor. With Venus, your ruling planet, in your 12th house for the month, you are seeking a lot of closure and culmination right now and are healing what was. Mercury enters your sign from May 10 until May 25, and it’s all about the perspectives you are gaining right now.
Don’t be afraid to ask the important questions and get down to the bottom of things that have been worrying you. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in your 7th house of partnership, and you are closing the door on what has not been working for you in love. You are seeing the clarity of what you need within your emotional world and how you want to navigate the changes you have been through here now.
GEMINI
May is a new beginning for you, Gemini. You have a lot of energy and vitality with you this month, and you are ready to accomplish some personal goals and intentions of yours. For most of the month, the Sun is in your house of closure and healing, and you are finding yourself rejuvenated from the transformations you have been through. Gemini Season officially begins on May 20, and with the Sun in your sign, nothing is holding you back from shining and living in your truth right now.
On May 25, Mercury enters Gemini until June 8, and Mercury loves being in your sign, as this is your planetary ruler.
Mercury in Gemini is forward-thinking, quick, and intelligent. You are coming up with solutions to previous challenges or obstacles, and overcoming something that has felt restrictive mentally. Before the month ends, there is a New Moon in Gemini on May 26, and this New Moon is one of the best times of the year for you to set your intentions and manifest your dreams. Remember you are worthy of what you are setting out to accomplish this month, Gemini.
CANCER
Cancer, this month requires you to slow down, take care of your health, and allow things to come to fruition the way they are meant to. There is a chance you could be overthinking more than usual this month, and you are being reminded that there is only so much that is in your control, and to give yourself some more grace. The Full Moon in Scorpio on May 12 will help you gain a little more clarity of the heart and is going to be a time of feeling the love and appreciation in your life.
Saturn enters your 10th house of career on May 24, remaining here over the next few years, and you are getting an opportunity to grow and discover where you may have been limiting yourself professionally, socially, or within your aspirations in life. This time is all about reminding yourself that you deserve recognition for the work you do, but that you must also be the one believing in yourself as well. On May 12, there is a New Moon in your house of emotional healing, and you are seeing the gifts of alone time, safe spaces, and tending to your creative inklings at the end of the month.
LEO
This month is an opportunity for a new beginning in love and progress within your emotional world, Leo. You are learning to trust your intuition more, and you are putting more of your energy into your heart’s desires. With the Sun in your 10th house for most of the month, you are shining in your truth and remaining confident in your goals in life.
Venus is in your house of adventure for the entire month, and this is a good time for experiencing romance while traveling or getting out of your comfort zone a little.
Saturn makes a significant move from Pisces into Aries at the end of the month and enters your 9th house. With Saturn here, you will be learning more about what mental growth and clarity mean to you, and this is a good time to dedicate yourself to higher education, traveling, gaining a new perspective, and honoring your integrity and values. The New Moon of the month is on May 26, creating magic within your friendships and community.
You are leaving this month with hope in your heart and new plans for the future.
VIRGO
May is a month of abundance and fruition for you, Virgo. Your dreams and intentions are coming to fruition, and you are owning that which you have created for yourself. With Venus in Aries, this is a good time for seeing support in your life financially, dedicating yourself to your commitments and responsibilities, and seeing the gifts in that. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in your 3rd house of communication, and this is an intuitive time for you, giving you the strength needed to close the chapter on what you don’t resonate with anymore.
On May 24, Saturn enters your house of shared finances, rebirth, intimacy, and resources, and over the next few years, you will be learning the importance of connecting with people who truly have your best interest at heart, and not committing to what feels unstable. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini in your house of career, and this is a good time to manifest and set your intentions for where you want to see professional growth in your life.
Overall, May is about embracing your freedom while honoring the people and connections that help you grow and make you feel more secure in life.
LIBRA
This is a month of feeling empowered and ready to take on anything that comes your way, Libra. You are inspired by the progress you are making in your life right now, and with Venus in your 7th house of love, you are being well-received. This is a month of finding your balance between your path and the growth of your relationships, and there is a sense of support, harmony, and love in your life in May.
You are owning your authenticity and living in your truth fully, and this energy is magnetic.
However, Saturn also enters your 7th house of love this month, where it will remain for the next few years. Saturn empowers and helps you grow, but you can also feel a little more challenged within your relationships during this time. The more you can own your wants and needs, the more you can find vulnerability and support within your relationships. On May 26, a New Moon in a fellow air sign occurs and happens in your 9th house, creating a chance at a new adventure and an opportunity to discover some new inspiration.
SCORPIO
May is about believing in the impossible, Scorpio. It’s time to take a leap of faith in yourself and to remember your power. You are seeking a new beginning in your life, and with the Sun in your 7th house of love for most of the month, you are being supported and encouraged in the process. Pluto, one of your ruling planets, goes retrograde in your house of home and family from May 4 until October, and you are gaining clarity on the people and support systems you can rely on more.
The Full Moon of the month is in your sign on May 12, and this is the Flower Moon of the year. You are in full bloom and ready for whatever is next for you, and this is beautiful. Previous intentions and goals come to fruition for you overall in mid-May, and there is a lot to look forward to right now as you are getting excited about it all. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini in your 8th house, creating a sense of empowerment through what you are looking to change and transform in your life right now.
This month is about not being afraid to take more risks and doing things your own way.
SAGITTARIUS
May is a beautiful month of magic, success, and good fortune, Sagittarius. You are feeling lucky this month and are attracting success to you in many different areas of your life. Venus, the planet of love, is in your 5th house of romance for most of the month, and you are enjoying your life, feeling the love within your heart, and expressing yourself freely in May. You are a magnet for your manifestations, and dreams are coming true for you this month, Sag.
On May 12, we have a Full Moon happening in your house of endings and closure, and you are closing out a big chapter in your life this month.
You are letting go of old pain or emotional experiences and choosing not to repeat a pattern that left you feeling hopeless before. On May 26, we have a New Moon in your sister sign, Gemini, enhancing your need for love, connection, and relationship development this month. This is a great New Moon to set your intentions for what partnerships you want to see grow, heal, and come to fruition for you. Overall, May is your month of fruition, balance, and believing in the magic in your life.
CAPRICORN
May is about slowing down and allowing yourself to find the answers you have been looking for, Capricorn. This isn’t the time to rush your progress or doubt where you are in life. The Sun is in your 5th house, and this is good for finding more time for fun, pleasure, self-care, and asking your heart what it needs. With Pluto going retrograde in your 2nd house of values and income, you are being reminded to hold yourself with integrity and to know that you are worthy of the things you are asking for.
The Full Moon on May 12 is a beautiful time to connect with loved ones or those who inspire you. The universe wants to show you that you are not alone this month and that you deserve to live a life where you can enjoy yourself more and manifest your dreams, rather than believing everything needs to be a challenge to be worthy. Saturn, your ruling planet, then enters your 4th house of home and family, and over the next few years, you are going to be rediscovering what home means to you.
AQUARIUS
Your guidance for May is to trust that what is falling from your life or changing for you is doing so for your benefit, Aquarius. Trust that what is happening is happening for you and not to you, and don’t doubt that you will rebuild from this. With Pluto going retrograde in your sign from May 4 until October 13, you need a break from some of the confusion you have been feeling in your personal life, and you are getting a chance to gain a new perspective this month.
Use this time to get inspired by change rather than let it bring you down, and ground yourself in the present moment more.
Saturn enters Aries in May, where it will remain for the next few years, helping you grow in the areas of your life that have to do with communication, networking, transportation, siblings, and education. You will be learning a lot during this time and will be finding new outlets for self-expression and communication. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini occurring in your 5th house of romance, pleasure, hobbies, and entertainment, and after a month of navigating endings, changes, and closures, you are ready for a fresh start and are receiving one in love now.
PISCES
Allow what is to be, be, Pisces. May is a month of allowing yourself to trust the timing of the universe and not giving up hope that things are going to turn out beautifully for you. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in fellow water sign, Scorpio, and this is a time to get inspired and see the benefits of closure. This Full Moon is about gaining a new perspective and not doubting what is clearer to you now, that you are worthy of a new beginning.
On May 24, Saturn moves into your 2nd house of income, and you are going to be moving through a journey of developing financially, and working on maintaining stability while building new foundations in your life. The New Moon in Gemini at the end of the month is about setting your intentions for your home and family life and creating some new energy here. Overall, May is your month of breaking ground on the things you want to create for yourself and trusting the timing of how things are unfolding.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image courtesy