Here's How To Rock A Little Black Dress
While most of the outside world is slowly reopening after a lengthy six months of back-to-back business shutdowns, I feel the energy in the air returning along with a certain zest for life. As I yearn to reunite with loved ones, I marvel at how much I'd taken advantage of their quality time pre-pandemic. While others are still met with a slight hesitation when posed with the idea of moving freely around strangers once again, people such as myself are thrilled to rejoin society much more than anticipated.
With birthdays and celebrations being a never-ending season, what better time for small occasional gatherings celebrating more life? With holiday festivities soon to come as we quickly head into the winter months, I decided that widening my scope to shop outside of the sweatpants and leisure wear I've been confined to since mid-March. As more events begin to fill up the rest of my calendar, I decided to round up my favorite go-to little black cocktail dresses this fall. Once retail stores began to reopen, I took advantage of items I saw myself wearing once "normal" life resumed.
Call me a shopaholic or optimistic, either way, here are three LBD styles to keep me chic all night long this holiday season:
The Cutout
Shahirah Ahmed for xoNecole
Shahirah Ahmed for xoNecole
I love anything designed with a pop of skin. Super modern, a cut out mini black dress is a perfect choice for a date or chic night on the town with your girlfriends. Ultra chic and reminiscent of a vintage 90's silhouette, this ultra-chic v-cut out dress is one of my favorite finds this year. Styled with minimal jewelry, I allowed the dress to speak for itself.
Shahirah Ahmed for xoNecole
Shahirah Ahmed for xoNecole
Blazer Dress
Shahirah Ahmed for xoNecole
Shahirah Ahmed for xoNecole
This dress is tailored for the self-made girl boss. Dressed in all black with a plunging neckline, this look is the perfect structured look for a woman about her business during the day and cocktail hour at night. A classic silhouette that never goes out of style, don't be afraid to steal your boyfriend's oversized blazer jacket to easily achieve this super chic look.
Shahirah Ahmed for xoNecole
Shahirah Ahmed for xoNecole
Shahirah Ahmed for xoNecole
Ruched in all the Right Places
Shahirah Ahmed for xoNecole
Shahirah Ahmed for xoNecole
Ruched details are having a major moment this year. This body-hugging design feature has been a personal favorite to enhance my figure, adding more curves and shape to the proper areas. With a halter neck tie as the cherry on top of this delicious look, I plan to find any excuse to wear this LBD for the coming holiday season.
Shahirah Ahmed for xoNecole
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Featured image by Shahirah Ahmed for xoNecole.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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