

The 70 Sex Position, Vegan Condoms & Other Current Sex Trends
Every few months or so, I'll intentionally peruse through cyberspace to see what's up in the sex trends department. I must say that there has never been one time when at least three things haven't made me respond with either a "For real?" or a "Gee, what is that?" This particular time, what got me was the high praise that the 70 sex position has been getting, the brain orgasms that we can apparently have and oh, yeah, vegan condoms (vegan condoms?!).
Some of my friends are so used to me hitting them up with this kind of random information, that most of them no longer share my inquisitive excitement. Instead, they are usually like, "Really girl? Let me call you back." (Le sigh) So, I decided that this go around, I would share my findings with y'all.
After checking out the 10 current sex trends that piqued my particular interest, feel free to post comments on your thoughts (especially if you've tried any of them), along with some of the other trends that you've been diggin' lately. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who is intrigued by this kind of stuff. Prove me right so that I can tell my peeps that they are the exception, not the rule.
1. 70 Sex Position
Back when I was in high school, I was on what was known as the Acros team. Basically, it was a combination of cheerleading and gymnastics. I joined, hoping that it would help me overcome my fear of heights. It didn't. What it did do was make me mad limber. I thought about that when I turned and twisted my head to figure out if my 45-year-old self could get into the new sex position that half of America is apparently super hyped about right now.
In a nutshell, it's the 2.0 version of the 69 position. The twist to the 70 position is, rather than two people lying down, this time, they are vertical. The man starts out on his knees so that his partner can turn her back to him, kick her legs up and then put her legs over his shoulders. Then he slowly stands up and the woman puts her hands on the floor to help him to support her body weight (basically like she's facing him while doing a handstand).
OK, it seems like some real strong backs and maybe a wall for extra support needs to come into play here, but if you and yours want to be trendy tonight, you'll be doing what all of the limber kids are if you attempt the 70 sex position. Good luck.
2. Vegan Condoms
Although I'm personally not a vegan, I do have mad support for the folks who are. It is admirable how committed they are to the cause. If that's you, you can be vegan-vegan-for-real if you decide to ditch the condoms that you currently have and invest in some vegan condoms instead. If you never considered prophylactics to be a non-vegan ally, many of them aren't due to the casein (a protein that's made from dairy) that's in them. Aside from the fact that vegan condoms contain no animal products, another bonus is they aren't apart of the whole animal testing process.
If reading all of this has piqued your interest, some vegan fan favorites are Glyde's Organic-Flavored condoms, Sustain Natural's Ultra-Thin condoms and Trojan Supra BareSkin Non-Latex Polyurethane condoms. These are just a few that guarantee to be good to you and for the environment.
3. Shower Sex
Another sex trend that's getting lots of buzz are people who want to have sex in bodies of water. If by "body of water", they mean ocean, something that it and pools tend to carry is the kind of bacteria that can disrupt your pH balance and cause a vaginal infection (just something to think about). And, as far as jacuzzis go, it's only as safe as the person who cleaned it before you got into it.
That pretty much leaves us with shower sex. It's fun, it's safer and it's a multi-tasking kind of location because you can get clean, have sex and then get clean again—all in the same spot. Plus, the heat from the water will relax your muscles and joints so that you can be more "bendy", and the water makes the need for (extra) lubricant totally unnecessary. A win/win on every hand.
4. Nude Lingerie
Something else that has its own trends is lingerie. Right now, as far as patterns, florals are big. As far as material, lace stays classic. In the panty department, cheeky briefs are what you should look for. Bra-wise, soft cups are the way to go.
Also, something that I saw quite a bit of was nude lingerie. If you have no idea where to start looking for some, spring of last year, we actually did a feature on Nubian Skin; it carries are nice collection. Enjoy.
5. The Snail Sex Position
I'm not sure how new or inventive this is. I'm also not sure who came up with the name or why. But a sex position that men and women are saying is making them very happy right now is the snail position. It's when the woman gets on her back and pulls her knees back to her chest as her partner kneels down in front of her and penetrates. Then she puts her ankles on his shoulders and—voila! Instant G-spot attention.
For some reason, I feel like this position used to go by a different name (feel free to confirm that in the comment section). Either way, if you want to do what's popular, having snail sex will have in you in the "in" crowd.
6. Airbnbs
Personally, I am a huge bed and breakfast fan. So much in fact, that I'll sometimes come out of nowhere and bless a married couple with a free night (or weekend, if I can find a good deal) at one. But for my friends who are a little on the "sexually loud" side, I'm learning that renting out an Airbnb is probably best. It's like having an entire house—that is not your own—to yourself so that you can scream, roll around and do whatever else without worrying that someone can hear you through the walls.
By the way, if you want to check out some of the country's best Airbnbs, click here. For some of the most unique, click here. Or, if you want to support a site that specifically caters to the African diaspora, click here.
7. Waterproof Vibrators
Something else that I found to be a huge trend are vibrators. But not just any ole' kind. I guess so that they can enjoy all of that shower sex that they're currently having (whether it's with someone or alone), customers want one that is waterproof. Some popular ones include the We-Vibe Tango Lipstick Rechargeable Bullet Vibrator, the VeDO Yumi Finger Vibe and the Womanizer Liberty Clitoral Stimulator.
Food for thought. I know these type of "accessories" will tempt you to run up your water bill, but just keep in mind that a lot of dermatologists say that washing up in lukewarm water for no more than five or 10 minutes is best. Hey, don't shoot the messenger. I'm just passing the info along.
8. Brain Orgasms
Is it just me or does it seem like every time we turn around, there is a new kind of orgasm? Just a couple of months ago, our managing editor shouted out 12. However, one that wasn't on the list, that is starting to gain more momentum, is what is known as the brain orgasm.
Technically, it's tied into the ASMR (Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response) relaxation phenomenon. If you're not familiar with what that is, an example that comes to mind is the fact that YouTube has an entire demographic of viewers who find people scratching up their dandruff to be calming. No joke! There's a sistah who has a channel that's called Scratching My Scalp Off that consists of 35,000 subscribers; some of her videos have gotten a couple of million views.
Anyway, whether it's listening to someone whisper, tap their nails or turn pages of a book (or scratching dead skin and fungus), it is becoming more and more common for individuals to admit that sound arouses them; sometimes to the point of climaxing. Oh, and before you shrug all of this off as some crazy wypipo stuff, check out "How ASMR Became a Full-On Rap Sensation" and "8 of the Best ASMR Moments in Hip-Hop". "Wait (The Whisper Song)", anyone?
9. Sliquid Silk Hybrid Lube for Women. Slippery Stuff Lubricant for Men.
It doesn't matter what publication or website that I checked out, when it comes to all things sex, "the more lube, the better" is mentioned somewhere in the copy. Honestly, you can pull out some Aloe Vera gel, Vitamin E or coconut oil (although you should avoid oil if you're using a condom; it can break down its effectiveness) and call it a day. But if you'd prefer to purchase some, I did some digging and found two faves—one for women and one for men.
As far as our needs go, a lot of ladies rave about Sliquid Silk Hybrid Lube. It's a purified water and silicone blend, vegan-friendly, works with all condoms, complements your natural lubricant and sits at a pH balance of somewhere between 4.0-4.4 (that's a good thing). Meanwhile, a lot of fellas are feelin' Slippery Stuff Lubricant. For starters, it was developed by the medical community so that men could get, umm, tested easier. It's water-based, non-staining and long-lasting. It's also the type of lube that professes to increase sensations whenever you use it. So yeah, if you've been in the market for lubricant, these two will hold you down pretty well.
10. Bondage for Women. Sex Tapes for Men.
Just one more trend and then I'll let you go so that you can test some of these out. Something else that I read is when it comes to sex bucket lists that both men and women have, what a lot of ladies want to check off of theirs is bondage scenarios (nothing too over the top; just stuff like restraints, blindfolds or handcuffs) and—surprise, surprise—men want to record their romps. If you do decide to oblige your partner and you two decide to record your naughtiness with your phone, make sure that you download an app to hide the evidence. After all, it's one thing to follow a sex trend. It's another thing to have your sex end up trending. Be safe. Have fun. Yes, in that order—y'all.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
We've Got Some All-Natural Ways To Increase Stamina & Sensitivity
Who Knew Oral Sex Has An Official Time Limit?
10 Things You Didn't Know About The Male And Female Orgasm
These 69 Positions Are Guaranteed To Get You Off
Feature image by Shutterstock
Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
Exclusive: Gabrielle Union On Radical Transparency, Being Diagnosed With Perimenopause And Embracing What’s Next
Whenever Gabrielle Union graces the movie screen, she immediately commands attention. From her unforgettable scenes in films like Bring It On and Two Can Play That Game to her most recent film, in which she stars and produces Netflix’s The Perfect Find, there’s no denying that she is that girl.
Off-screen, she uses that power for good by sharing her trials and tribulations with other women in hopes of helping those who may be going through the same things or preventing them from experiencing them altogether. Recently, the Flawless by Gabrielle Union founder partnered with Clearblue to speak at the launch of their Menopause Stage Indicator, where she also shared her experience with being perimenopausal.
In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Mike Lawrie/Getty Images
Jada Pinkett Smith & Why Authenticity In Black Women Sparks Controversy
Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith went to social media to share their Thanksgiving holiday with followers. The pair were surrounded by family and friends Thursday, and both posted how grateful they were to be with the ones they loved. Yet this comes on the heels of Pinkett Smith’s whirlwind of negative opinions and critics forecasting her book would be a flop.
Despite the negative feedback she received, Worthy, Pinkett Smith’s memoir, still debuted at #3 on the New York Times’ Best Seller list on October 25. The greatest backlash she received was centered around her relationship with Smith and the fact that the two had been living separate lives since 2016.
The commentary about their marriage overshadowed the reality that this book is ultimately about her journey to self-worth and the path she’s had to take in order to get there.
Social media comments about her book tour ranged from, “Me counting all the times Jada woke up and chose to embarrass Will Smith,” to podcasts like The Joe Budden Podcast saying, “Take me out the group chat,” which was a sentiment shared by many celebrities and fans alike. Yet, a point made by comedian KevOnStage proved that even though people say they don’t want to know about the Smiths, they’re secretly interested and want to know more.
Since the Smiths were wed in 1997, people have been fascinated with their marriage, and rumors about their marital arrangement have always been a topic of conversation. People continue to speculate that the pair is gay and swingers, and even new allegations have come out that Smith and Duane Martin shared an intimate relationship at one point.
However, despite their consistent united front throughout their marriage in recent years, Pinkett Smith has borne the brunt of backlash in the couple’s relationship, from her entanglement with August Alsina to Smith slapping Chris Rock at the 2022 Academy Awards to the recent truths she’s shared about the couple’s marriage in her memoir.
Individuals are consistently running to the internet to support Smith and villainize Pinkett Smith, from podcast guests saying things such as “She doesn’t like Will, she likes the lifestyle” to deeming her “mean” or "manipulative" because of her facial expressions and demeanor.
Likewise, when you have hosts of daytime talk shows such as Ana Navarro saying, “I think she’s having a relationship with her bank account,” insinuating Pinkett Smith only shared stories about Smith to increase her book sales, it begs the question of where was this same energy when Smith released his memoir?
In Will, Smith discusses both of his marriages and how, in relationships, because of his upbringing, he needed constant validation and praise from his partners to feel secure. He also shared the reality that Pinkett Smith never wanted to be married, just as she never wanted the huge estate they share in California, but he wanted to give it to her despite her feelings about it.
Smith admitted to creating this family empire that only further boosted his ego and what he wanted his legacy to be instead of actually asking his family what they wanted or needed. People praised him for his vulnerability and said his book was an inspiration.
So how is it that one book about a person’s family, upbringing, and journey to self is praised, and another is villainized? The glaring thought that comes to me is, does likability often trump accountability?
People love Smith and his “good guy” persona; he’s always been an attractive, charismatic man that people can relate to, so even when he speaks about the way he mismanaged his marriage and family, it’s seen as growth. On the contrary, because Pinkett Smith doesn’t constantly fawn over him and shares how miserable she was in their marriage, she’s the villain.
People still blame her for not stopping Smith from smacking Rock at the Oscars and share their sentiments about how she embarrassed Smith with her entanglement with Alsina. Though this is a celebrity couple we’ve all followed for years, the question must be asked, how much accountability must Black women be subjected to in relationship to their partners' actions?
Why is it that the media is more interested in the marriage between Smith and Pinkett Smith than her childhood, or the fact her memoir consists of writing prompts, meditations, and methods for other women to find their sense of worth?
Could it be that the larger society doesn’t value Black women having the tools to find their own sense of worth? Or is it that Black women are expected to accept whatever is given to them regardless of how they feel or what they want?
The exclusive interview with Eboni K. Williams (@ebonikwilliams) and Dr. Iyanla Vanzant about if she would date a bus driver seems to have a lot of people talking. You can watch her response tonight on #theGrio. Catch the full interview, here: https://t.co/ctxE0zKFWj pic.twitter.com/BhIO52T2fg
— theGrio.com (@theGrio) May 2, 2023
When Eboni K. Williams shared that she wasn’t interested in dating a bus driver, the internet blew up with individuals saying that Black women need to be less selective with their dating prospects. The commentary around this conversation shed much light on the reality that this demographic is expected and invited to settle in love if they actually want a life partner.
Black women aren’t often given the space to find their joy, fulfillment, or even self-worth because of the responsibility they’re forced to acquire in order to support their families and communities. Yet, “high value” Black men speak vehemently about Black women’s masculinity and inability to submit. We’re often inundated with podcast guests sharing that they’re not impressed by our success and are uninterested in our aspirations.
Black women, from a young age, are taught to place their community first and cater to the men around them regardless of what they do or how they behave.
We see this when young girls are told to put on pants when male relatives come around, we experience it when domestic violence survivors are encouraged not to press charges against their perpetrators, and we even see it when Black women face backlash for dating outside of their race.
The way Pinkett Smith has been treated since sharing the truth about her life and journey of discovering her self-worth is another example of how the world isn’t receptive to Black women being their most authentic selves.
It’s another example we can hold up to illustrate how Black women are expected to be magical but not human.
Even with this article, I’m sure there will be many who want to argue why Pinkett Smith was wrong in her narrative, but at the end of the day, it was her story to tell, and no one has more authority to share her lived experience than her.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by James Devaney/GC Images