Self-care comes in many forms. For some, it's exercise and meditating that helps them feel centered. For others, it's eating well or the act of cooking that nourishes their mind and body. Sometimes it can be something as simple as taking a bath. Whatever activity works for you is great and you should absolutely keep doing it. But what if you could take self-care from being less about what you do and more of a space in which you live.
The reason most of us don't regularly indulge in self-care -- and it's considered a treat when we do -- is because it takes time. It's extra effort many of us, quite frankly, don't always feel like putting in, even when we should. That's why we're taking the focus off of things to do and placing it on things to have in your home so that it's always a space of self-care. With the majority of us spending more time in the house for the foreseeable future, it's more important than ever to keep the place in which you now work, eat, sleep, and live your own personal sanctuary 24/7. Here are a few things to add to your space to do just that.
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Salt Table Lamp Natural - Himalayan Glow
Target
Salt Table Lamp Natural - Himalayan GlowIf you're into crystals, then you're familiar with the fact that Himalayan Glow Salt lamps are known for their soothing and calming effects. Each of these lamps is hand-carved, making it uniquely individual to your space. And the dimmer feature is great for those who want to keep this lamp on their nightstands.
Just Because Flowers
1-800-Flowers
Just Because Flowers
The very presence of flowers has been shown to not only brighten a room but also brighten one's mood and decrease feelings of agitation and anxiousness. Set yourself up to receive a flower delivery every two weeks to ensure you always have at least one bouquet of these natural mood-boosters in your home. 1-800-Flowers literally has a category of Just Because flowers to choose from, which is perfect because that's exactly why you should add them to your space.
Rose Clay Zabuton
Crate and Barrel
Rose Clay Zabuton
If meditation is a part of your self-care, be even more intentional about it by incorporating a zabuton into your bedroom or living room to signal it as the space for your wellness practice. This Japanese-style linen pillow provides cushion for your knees and ankles as you meditate to aid in better focus.
SpaRoom® Mysto™ Ultrasonic Essential Oil Diffuser
Bed Bath & Beyond
SpaRoom® Mysto™ Ultrasonic Essential Oil Diffuser
Allow good vibes and calming aromatic scents to continuously flow throughout your home with this essential oil diffuser whose marble design fits nicely into any home decor. The option of bright or warm white lighting adds an additional mood-setting element
BlanQuil Essence Aromatherapy Pillow
Macy's
BlanQuil Essence Aromatherapy Pillow
This pillow embodies everything you need to consistently get a good night's rest which is self-care 101. Soft memory foam allows the pillow to cradle your head, neck, and shoulders for ultimate comfort, while built-in ActivAir technology diffuses heat and encourages the flow of cool air, making this a great buy for those who suffer from allergies and asthma or have sensitive skin. The cherry on top is that the pillow is infused with calming essential oils to help you relax at bedtime and reduce restlessness.
The FLIP Double Sided Hybrid
Nest Bedding
The FLIP Double Sided Hybrid
While we're talking about sleep, this is a good time to assess whether your mattress is what's standing between you and a peaceful night of sleep and a productive day of work. Our sleep needs are constantly changing and what's great about this FLIP mattress is that it's double sided so can choose how you sleep any given month, week, or even night if you'd like. Ideal for side, back and stomach sleepers, this hybrid dual-comfort mattress should have you counting Zzzs in no time.
Sonos Move
Target
Sonos Move
Have you ever wished you could just sit out on your patio or balcony at night listening to tunes as you watch the stars, but your current sound system wouldn't let you be great? We all know music is healing and that's why you need Sonos Move. The battery-powered portable smart speaker from Sonos is perfect for outdoor and indoor listening, allowing you to stream music via Bluetooth when WiFi isn't available. Its durable structure is also weather-proof so you can keep it by your side when doing some of those other self-care activities you love, like gardening.
Cuisinart Cordless Kettle
Target
Cuisinart Cordless Kettle
Tea has incredible medicinal properties for the body and mind and this cordless kettle, with its six preset heat settings and one-touch controls, makes it easy to get your daily dose.
Handy Cleaning Service
Getty ImagesCleanliness is next to Godliness and peacefulness. A simple way to ensure your home is a true sanctuary is by keeping it clean. Your spirit will feel even better if you're not the one who has to do the work. Handy allows you to set up weekly, biweekly, or monthly cleaning plans to keep your house in a constant state of order.
Featured image by Shutterstock
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So, today? Today, we’re going to tackle how sex impacts us when it comes to our energy fields. What (mostly) inspired this is once reading a science-based article about how it is a fact and not a myth that just like plants can absorb energy from other plants, humans can do the same thing by being in the space of other human beings. And when you stop to really think about it, doesn’t that make all of the sense in the world?
Otherwise, there wouldn’t be terms out here like “peer pressure” and big grown folks wouldn’t be out here trying to look and act just like some of their favorite celebrities or IG influencers (and yet, on that point, I digress).
So, since energy impacts us in some pretty significant ways, let’s take a few moments to see how it goes down when it comes to copulation — just so that you’re (even more) aware of what you’re getting yourself into when you “do the do,” as far as your personal energy space is concerned.
Energy. Revisited.
GiphyOkay, so before we get all up in how energy is exchanged during sexual activity, what is energy as it relates to human beings, in general? Well, in some ways, it all depends on who you ask. For instance, the famed Greek philosopher Aristotle once said that energy is about having the capacity to do something. Some medical experts say that energy is all about how something impacts you on a mental or physical level.
For instance, negative energy tends to be very heavy and draining while positive energy can increase feel-good chemicals throughout your system which makes it easier for you to do things like be creative and problem-solve. Something else that I think is important to keep in mind as far as human energy goes is it’s impacted by a myriad of things including a person’s stress levels, how healthy a person is, what their life choices are (as far as how their decisions influence them) and even what their sleep patterns are like.
And if all of this is true, then something else that Aristotle once said about energy would be beyond accurate: “The energy of the mind is the essence of life.”
Energy is life. Whew, so if this is indeed the case, does this mean that when you choose to have sex with someone, you are sharing your life force — whatever state that may be — with someone as they are doing the same to/for/with you? YES.
What Does It Mean to Exchange Sexual Energy?
GiphySince I grew up in an entertainment industry household, I think that’s probably why I’ve ended up with some close friends who are in the industry as well. That said, I will never forget when I was talking to one of them one day about a particular artist. When I expressed how much sex appeal that she had, my (male) friend simply said, “Yeah, I’ve been in her presence a few times before. She has some really dark energy. I didn’t even hug her.”
Now from a scientific standpoint, dark energy is simply what causes the universe to accelerate in growth over a certain period of time; however, when a person is described to have dark energy, that usually means that they have an evil and/or negative and/or heavy and/or draining aura about them. And y’all, here’s what’s semi-wild about what he said: did you know that science backs that hugs do indeed transfer energy?
Yep, research reveals that a hug from someone can literally alter your brain and body chemistry — so you definitely need to be discerning about who you let up into your affection space. Straight up. And so, since a hug has the capacity to do that, how much more can SEX?
To further emphasize this, let’s begin with an article that I read on Healthline’s website entitled, “Do We Really Exchange Energy During Sex?” After checking it out, one of the main things that I appreciated was when a doctor who was interviewed for the piece said:
“Every sex act is an exchange of energy [because] every sexual act raises or lowers your energy level…Therefore, a sexual relationship isn’t a purely psychological or physiological, mechanical act…Rather, it’s an energetic action. When we have an intimate relationship with someone, the two energies merge.”
Okay, so according to science, when two people have sex, energies merge. Well, according to Scripture, when two people have sex, oneness transpires (Genesis 2:24-25). Let’s keep going.
There was once a Physician-scientist by the name of Wilhelm Reich (who actually died in prison, in part, because of his radical beliefs on sex and orgasms during his time), who once said that having a healthy sex life (which, to him, including orgasms and is what he referred to as “orgastic potency”) is what played a huge role in one’s emotional health and well-being. That’s because, to him, without the release of sexual energy, neurological disorders would be come to be.
My takeaway from this is when you think about the fact that things like serotonin, dopamine, and the “the bonding chemical” oxytocin are all released during sex (and most certainly during orgasms), and also since sex (and orgasms) reduce stress — you need to tend to your sexual energy for the sake of your holistic health. Let’s continue on.
After reading an article on sexual energy on Cosmo’s website in which one of the sex therapists said that “our sexuality is our power" and then reading an article on the same topic on Well + Good’s platform where another expert stated that, “Many belief systems believe sexual energy is an expression of the soul's connection to the cosmos and the rest of the universe”, I thought about the word “power” and then “soul connection.”
At the end of the day, power isn’t just ability but the capability to influence and even take authority over something or someone. And a soul connection? Several years ago, when I penned a piece for the platform entitled, “I’ve Got Some Ways For You To Start Pampering Your Soul,” one of the things that I made sure to emphasize is your soul IS also your life. This means that soul connections are life connections.
And so, it would appear that sharing sexual energy also means that you are making a life connection with someone. And that type of connection has the power to influence you in ways that you couldn’t even begin to imagine. That is how deep exchanging sexual energy is.
What You Should Always Keep in Mind Before Sharing Sexual Energy with Someone Else
GiphyNow are there degrees to this whole sexual energy thing? Of course. The type of connection that a husband and wife of 20 years can make via sex is very different than a one-night stand. However, it would appear that science believes that it doesn’t really matter what you tell yourself about sex with someone (or even how many condoms you may use during sex) — potent energy is exchanged regardless.
That’s a huge part of the reason why I will forever roll my eyes about how ridiculous “casual sex” sounds to me, because, although I do believe that it is very possible to engage in coitus that has no real purpose (casual is purposeless, by definition), what isn’t possible is for there not to be a significant connection made from a scientific standpoint. Because again, if a mere hug can alter you (shoot, a handshake too), do you really think that allowing a man’s penis into the sacred space known as your vagina will not? After reading all of this…do you really?
When it comes to energy, author T. Harv Eker once said, “Energy is contagious: either you affect people or you infect people.” With all that was just shared about sexual energy, each and every person you choose to “engage” with, they are either going to affect you or infect you — just with their energy alone.
Knowing this, if there was ever a time to choose wisely, this would be it.
Your energy is your power. Who you exchange power with? CHOOSE WISELY.
EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON.
And because energy can shift…be cognizant of what you’re doing…EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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Featured image by Giphy