I don’t care what anyone says when it comes to a sign of aging that you are never fully prepared for; it’s got to be the first time you catch sight of gray hair — I don’t mean one that’s on your head (although that can be a bit of a trip too); I mean, when one creeps up in your pubic region. I remember the first time I got wind of one of my own. Whew, chile.
And don’t even get me started on how my waxer won’t let me forget the fact that now I have more than just a couple of ‘em, which is wild because the gray hairs on my head are still pretty minimal…all things considered. And although genetics and good old-fashioned aging are the biggest causes for what makes our hair go from its original color to silver, gray, or white, I was actually surprised to learn there are several other health-related factors that can have our pubes going lighter (especially if it’s sooner or at an accelerated pace).
If you’re curious to know what those things are, here are the seven leading ones.
1. A Fungal Infection
GiphyIf you’ve never heard of White Piedra before, consider it to be your “something new” for the day. Basically, it’s a type of fungal infection that directly affects your hair shaft to the point where it looks like you have pearly nodules that are all over your hair strands. Some other symptoms of this infection are your hair will end up feeling dry, brittle, and gritty and your scalp might feel painful or really itchy. Although this infection can show up anywhere hair grows, it’s most “popular” when it comes to eyebrows and eyelashes, mustaches and beards, and yes, where your pubic hair grows.
And y’all, while Google wants you to think that you can self-diagnose and cure everything on the planet if you sense that you could have this in your pubic hair, it’s best to get a confirmation from your doctor. A prescription-based shampoo or oral medication may be needed to thoroughly remove it.
2. A Vitamin B12 Deficiency
GiphyA nutrient that’s essential when it comes to keeping your nerves and red blood cells in good condition is vitamin B12. Some signs that you’re not getting as much of it in your system as you should are unexplainable fatigue, a loss of appetite, weight loss, vision issues, and feeling irritable.
Know what else lets you know that you need to get more B12 into your body? Yep, you guessed it: gray hair, including gray pubic ones. Since B12 helps to keep your red blood cells thriving, when there’s not enough of it in your system, that means your hair follicles can end up becoming malnourished — and that can reduce how much melanin they produce.
That’s why it’s a good idea to have a diet that’s filled with vitamin B12-enriched foods like tuna, salmon, fortified cereals, yogurt, and eggs, and, if need be, that you take a B12 supplement as well.
3. An Imbalanced Thyroid
GiphyWhether you’re dealing with hypothyroidism (underactive thyroid) or hyperthyroidism (overactive thyroid), they both can result in premature graying. That’s because when your thyroid isn’t as balanced as it should be, that can affect not only the growth cycle of your tresses, it can impact how much melanin is produced, too. So, if your pubic hair seems suddenly white and you’ve got signs of hypothyroidism (fatigue, constipation, dry skin, muscle weakness, and/or an irregular period) or hyperthyroidism (increased heart rate, weak nails, restlessness, increased appetite, and/or more than usual bowel movements) — don’t underestimate any of this. Speak with your physician so that they can figure out exactly what is going on.
4. Vitiligo
GiphySomething that you may have never considered to be a reason for gray pubic hair is the skin condition vitiligo. Yet, when you stop to consider that it’s what happens when your skin starts to lose its pigment in noticeable amounts, it makes all of the sense in the world. Although research continues to be ongoing, what we know for sure is vitiligo is a chronic autoimmune disorder that oftentimes can be more managed than actually “cured;” however, there are a variety of treatments available, from creams and oral medications to light therapy and surgical procedures.
Since white patches on the skin, loss of pigment in your mucous membranes, and premature graying are all symptoms of vitiligo, if you’re noticing all three of these things happening at once, make an appointment to meet with your doctor as soon as possible.
5. Pubic Lice
GiphyIf you’ve ever heard that Black people don’t get lice, the truth is a bit less — pardon the pun — black and white than that. The fact is that, although it can be more challenging for lice to grasp onto our tighter curls (when our hair is in its natural state) and the hair products that we use can oftentimes cause lice to slip off before making a (temporary home), don’t sleep — we can still get it; and not just on our heads.
When it’s lice in your pubes, the “street name” for it is crabs. Although they have a reputation for being an STD, the reality is they aren’t. Crabs are tiny insects that can be transmitted through sexual contact; however, you can get them in other ways as well. It’s also important to know that crabs can show up on hair that grows on the chest, armpits, facial hair, eyebrows, and eyelids, and the symptoms include extreme itchiness, irritated skin, discolored spots on your thighs, abdomen, and buttocks, a low-grade fever and small white dots (which are actually lice eggs…chile).
If any of this is going on, make an appointment with your doctor. If they confirm that pubic lice is what’s happening, they will provide you with a list of things that you must do over the next 10 days or so. Oh, and they might recommend that you get tested for STDs…just to be on the safe side (because if someone is having sex with you while ignoring a lice problem, there’s no telling what else they may have going on…feel me?).
6. Smoking
GiphyAt this point, who doesn’t know that smoking (tobacco) is absolutely not a good idea? When it comes to your hair, specifically, smoking is problematic because it negatively affects blood circulation to your scalp, it can stagnate your hair growth cycles, it may cause your hair follicles to become inflamed, it can potentially make your hair dry and brittle — and yes, it can result in premature graying. A part of the reason is that nicotine has the ability to actually cause build-up on your hair follicles. When that happens, it can result in a loss of hair pigmentation…even in the genital region. Just one more solid reason to quit if smoking is your thing.
7. Stress
GiphyIf someone has ever told you that you’re giving them gray hair, as the old saying goes, there is truth in all humor. Although you might’ve always chalked it up to being nothing more than a very popular myth, stress can indeed cause your hair to lose its natural pigment. That’s because, when you are stressed out, your system releases a chemical called norepinephrine. When it enters into your hair follicles, it “attacks” your melanocyte stem cells which is where your natural hair color resides. So, if you’ve got more than a few gray pubes popping up all of a sudden — pause and ponder how much stress you’ve got going on. Believe it or not, that could actually be the culprit.
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The reason why this type of article was important to write is the reality is we can learn a lot about our health via our hair — yes, even our pubic hair. If, at the end of the day, yours is the result of nothing more than time doing its thing, you can always dye it or remove your hair altogether. Or you can make peace with your gray pubes like I’ve chosen to do.
I mean, my waxer (and my mirror when I do my vaginal self-exams) says that she’s fly with some salt ‘n pepper. Who am I to debate the truth? #Elmoshrug
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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Using the same material from the interior of the Volvo EX90, Hudson crafted a wool-blend car coat and waistbelt that combine the vehicle’s Scandinavian design with his signature tailoring and intention. The exclusive collection launched on October 20, and each piece is made-to-order by Sergio Hudson Collections.
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In October, I traveled to Charleston with a group of journalists to get a firsthand look at Hudson and Volvo’s location. During a fitting, Hudson said his goal is to make “great work that can stand the test of time.”
“People can look back on and say, ‘I remember when Sergio did that collaboration with Volvo,’” he continued. “Thinking about aligning yourself with classic brands that speak to where you want to go. And I think that's what this collaboration kind of means to me and my business.”
Hudson pinpoints his mom as the biggest influence for his designs. This collaboration was no different.
“This particular coat reminded me of the swing coats that my mom used to wear in the early 90s. You know, diva girls in the early 90s had Sandra suits,” he said, referring to Jackée Harry’s character in 227. “My mom wore those and she would have these matching swing coats to go over them. And that's where the initial idea came. This would be around the same time that we had our Volvo. So she would put on her suit, her swing coat, get in that red Volvo, and go to church.”
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With this capsule and beyond, Hudson wants to see more staples rotating in and out of closets this fall. He advises fashionistas to build her closet out with essentials to mix and match that aren’t just stylish but also sustainable.
“It's just those special pieces,” he said. “You can wear the same shirt and pants every day and nobody will notice. But if you have a special boot, a special coat, a special bill, a special bag, that kind of speaks to everything that your style stands about, that is something you should focus on.”
These are the same kind of staple pieces that return to our Pinterest boards and TikTok feeds season after season. Fast fashion has never been Hudson’s aim. “I'm trying to create a special pieces that can stand the test of time,” he said in his warm, Southern accent. “I'm only creating those kind of pieces from here on out.”
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For Hudson, this collaboration is revolutionary. It’s his first time working with a car company and experimenting outside of his wheelhouse in this way.
“This is a Scandinavian brand, and, you know, it's 70 years old. I'm an African-American boy from South Carolina that has had a brand for 10 years. So I think bridging those two worlds and seeing the similarities was the beauty of this project,” he explained.
Though Hudson and his partner and CEO of Sergio Hudson Collections Inga Beckham have made massive strides in just 10 years, Hudson said the industry is far from where he wants to see it when it comes to Black representation. He pointed to how few Black designers were at this year’s Met Gala despite the theme being Black dandyism.
“The fact that I dressed 18 people speaks to how many of us weren't there,” he said. He implored more of industries, fashion and beyond, to collaborate with Black designers often.
“Allow mentorship. Allow funding. Allow great design to shine through,” he implored. “When it comes to being a designer of African descent, when you can't get the funding that your counterparts have, you can't compete. When you get opportunities like doing a collaboration with Volvo, or you get opportunities to be at the Met Gala, that's putting us on the equal playing field, but really the funding behind it is what we need to take it to that desk level.”
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