In xoNecole's Our First Year series, we take an in-depth look at love and relationships between couples with an emphasis on what their first year of marriage was like.
As single women, the thought of getting married and trading in our spontaneity for compromise and routine can be bittersweet, but this Florida-based couple is proof that when you marry the right man, every day is a new adventure.
Brittany and Walter met for the first time at a FAMU frat party in 2013, where Walter immediately realized that the graceful AKA was everything he didn't know was missing. "When I first saw Brittany, I thought, 'Oh that's my type: tall, long legs, beautiful smile, big lips. And I said to myself, I need that in my life."
After months of unsuccessfully shooting his shot, Walter finally got the chance of a lifetime when his dream girl slid him her number after a football game. Little did he know, it was only a matter of time before she would become his wife and the mother of his unborn baby girl.
Five years into their relationship, Walter proposed during a romantic vacation in Jamaica, and one year later, the couple was married on a beach in Pensacola, FL surrounded by 300 of their closest family and friends. At the end of this month, the Smalls will celebrate their four-year wedding anniversary, and according to Brittany and Walter, the honeymoon still isn't over.
Rachelle Lynn Photography
Despite previously being diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome), Brittany discovered that they would be expecting a new addition to their family that's dropping this July. The coupled shared that their miracle baby not only solidified their faith in God, but confirmed their faith in their marriage.
Like most women who battle with infertility, Brittany initially felt betrayed by her body and she carried this sense of shame into her relationship. "For the first month after I was diagnosed, I carried such guilt that I might not be able to give my husband a family," she revealed. Luckily, Walt was by her side every step of the way to give her the boost of hope she needed. "I think he recognized that in me and affirmed me that this wasn't anybody's fault, but our journey would be our testimony. I thank God for him during that time."
Although this news would have been devastating enough to make most relationships crumble, Brittany and Walt shared that the diagnosis made them want to fight even harder for the life they had always dreamed of. Brittany expressed, "If anything, I think the diagnosis made our marriage stronger. My husband is the one who told me that God was in control of our lives and he was there to support me with processing my diagnosis, doing my research, [and] coming to doctor's appointments."
Rachelle Lynn Photography
Despite the fact that Brittany is 33 weeks pregnant, she and Walter still make time for romance and recently went on a "babymoon" to celebrate their last vacation as a family of two.
In preparation for their baby girl, the couple is making big plans for the future, and recently, Brittany and Walter (who are celebrating four years of marriage on May 30) took a walk down memory lane and threw it all the way back to 2015. In this edition of Our First Year, Brittany and Walter sat down with xoNecole and gave us all the tea on what it took to make it through the first 365 days after their wedding. Here's what they had to say:
The One
Brittany: I knew that he was the one by the way that he always protects me. When we first got together, my self-esteem was very low. He recognized it and told me that a woman this beautiful should not feel this way about herself. Through his actions and his constant affection, he taught me how to love myself again. He appreciated all the things about myself that I disliked. For that, I am so grateful that he came into my life when he did.
Walter: I knew that Brittany was the one when she challenged me and made me better as a man. There is a feeling of unconditional love that has always existed between us. I think we were so young when we got together, we didn't necessarily know what would happen with us. What we did realize was that we had a special bond and through the years that bond grew because we essentially grew into adulthood together. All of our adult defining moments were accomplished together. For us, that really creates a different bond that can't be broken.
Rachelle Lynn Photography
"I knew that Brittany was the one when she challenged me and made me better as a man. There is a feeling of unconditional love that has always existed between us."
Meet Me At The Altar
Brittany: I think the defining moment that confirmed for me that he would make an amazing husband and head of our household is when my sister was living in Washington D.C. and took ill due to her Crohn's disease. She ended up in ICU and almost passed away. When I told Walt what happened, he bought me a plane ticket to go and see her. He knew how important my family was to me and knew that I was so emotionally distraught, and I wasn't really taking it well. So, he took control of the situation and supported me.
Walter: I got a job in Orlando and moved. We weren't even long distance for three months before Brittany worked to get a promotion and moved to Orlando to be with me. It showed me that she was fully invested, and our love was her priority.
Overcoming Fears In Marriage
Brittany: My biggest fear was becoming so involved in my marriage that I lost myself. I grew up being raised to work hard and always have my own, not just financially but also my own life. I didn't want to be one of those wives so caught up in their husband that they lose their own sense of self. I think I let go of those fears because I recognized that one of the things I appreciate most about Walt is that he has never tried to change me and embraces my individuality and eclectic personality. I calmed my fears by talking it over with Walt and he was able to show me how outlandish those fears are. I am an over-analyzer and 9 times out of 10, Walt is the one who has to talk me off the ledge.
Walter: My biggest fear for marriage was not being able to provide for my family. I decided to let my fear become my motivation. It's what wakes me up in the morning, my drive to fulfill my goals and dreams. I always want to make sure that I can give my family the best and that my wife and future children have everything they ever wanted.
Rachelle Lynn Photography
"I didn't want to be one of those wives so caught up in their husband that they lose their own sense of self. I think I let go of those fears because I recognized that one of the things I appreciate most about Walt is that he has never tried to change me and embraces my individuality and eclectic personality."
Important Lessons In Marriage
Brittany: I think I learned forgiveness. I am a perfectionist and I like things to be perfect, but that's not a reality in a relationship and especially not marriage. We are not perfect, and I came to understand that I can't expect my husband to be perfect. I know that he loves me and wouldn't intentionally hurt me or make me mad, and that's all that matters.
Walter: I learned that you are not alone in this journey called life. You have a partner that you can depend on when you're weak and be the strength when your partner has shortcomings.
Baggage Claim
Brittany: I had to learn how to relinquish control. I can be a control freak and have always been what some call bossy, but what I like to say is strong leadership skills. I know that it was important for Walt to feel like the head of our household and I didn't want to emasculate him. I had to learn how to let my voice be heard without taking over everything.
Walter: For me, I had to learn the importance of communication, communicating consistently, and the different types of communication. For example, I am solution-based and sometimes Brittany just wants me to listen to her and let her vent, not go directly to solving the problem. Also, learning that communicating consistently is important. It's not just about me anymore but making sure that my family knows what's going on. For both of us, these are still works in progress, but that's what marriage is all about.
Rachelle Lynn Photography
"I had to learn the importance of communication, communicating consistently, and the different types of communication. For example, I am solution-based and sometimes Brittany just wants me to listen to her and let her vent, not go directly to solving the problem. For both of us, these are still works in progress, but that's what marriage is all about."
Overcoming Challenges
Brittany: Some of our early challenges were how we were going to do our finances and communication. Dating as broke college students, we had already shared a lot financially. We made sure each other had what we needed. But being young professionals and finally making good money, it was a challenge to learn how to merge and manage our finances together. We tackled this issue by creating a google doc budget with sheets for every month and everything is divided by weeks. It gives both of us access to see where the money is going and what bills are being paid weekly. We also decided to tackle finances as a team and build our wealth together.
Best Advice
Brittany: Our relationship mantra has always been to do what's best for us, even if it doesn't look like what others think it should. Our first year of marriage we had to continue to remind ourselves that we knew what worked for us and getting married shouldn't change that. Our first few months we struggled with trying to establish a new normal, but quickly realized that what we had already built worked best for us. We know each other best and live our lives according to our own rules.
Rachelle Lynn Photography
"Our relationship mantra has always been to do what's best for us, even if it doesn't look like what others think it should. Our first year of marriage we had to continue to remind ourselves that we knew what worked for us and getting married shouldn't change that."
The Best Part
Brittany: I love how compassionate and caring he is. I love that people are drawn to his personality and how he truly goes above and beyond for his loved ones. I love that he doesn't take himself too seriously and is a true gentleman. I love that he is like a cuddly teddy bear, so warm and touchy-feely.
Walter: I love that Brittany is the perfect combination of beauty and intelligence. I love that she is ambitious and has such a creative, beautiful mind. I love that she is so passionate about the ones that she cares about. I love that Brittany has always had traditional values as a wife, but also progressive.
Building Together
Brittany: Our common goal is to build generational wealth. We want to continue to build on the legacy that our parents provided for us and do even more for our future generations. Our marriage purpose is living a life that is pleasing to God. We want to always be a representation of God's love and His promise to His people. Our individual goals serve that common goal daily because we work at our jobs and side hustles to make sure that we build our wealth.
You can keep up with Walter and Brittany on Instagram or on their YouTube page! Also make sure to watch their adorable pregnancy reveal video below, just make sure you grab a box of tissues, first!
Our Journey to Parenthood, Our Miracle | Conceiving Naturally with PCOS | A Small Worldyoutu.be
Want more Our First Year love stories? Check them out here.
RELATED
So, since the Fourth of July is the day when fireworks are in abundance, why not take some of that energy into your bedroom this year by applying some of the following 10 holiday-themed, fully sex-related tips?
1. Create the Mood with Some Confetti Poppers
GiphyLet’s begin with some atmosphere. Although there are sparklers that you can use indoors, if the sex is going to be even a little bit good, if you want to go along with the whole fireworks theme, you should opt for décor that can stick around for more than just a minute or two. In walks,confetti poppers. If you want to give off the fireworks feel in your bedroom, opt for the smaller ones that are traditionally used for baby showers (like thesehere). It’s a unique way to ring in the 4th right before you well…you know. #wink
2. Screw in a Fireworks Light Bulb (No Pun Intended)
GiphySomething else that you can do to create a feel of Independence Day inside of your house is to screw a fireworks light bulb in a couple of places where you plan on creating some sparks. Something that’s cool about a lot of the LED options is they give off subtle light changes without being super bright — if a romantic mood is what you’re after. Some affordable options arehere,here, andhere.
3. Try Some Fireworks Lube
GiphyIt’s kind of a shame that a lot of people only think that lubricant should be used in order to get wet (or wetter) — because no matter how much or well things are flowing down below, lubricant is a welcome addition to a fun evening; that’s why I’ve written articles for the platform like “The Wetter, The Better: 10 Creative Ways To Use Lubricant”. When you get a chance, check it out. Then, once you’ve read it, get yourself someFireworks Female Arousal Gel; it’s a popular lube that contains a good amount of peppermint (the menthol sensation will be sure to be off the chain!) and glycerin. Many satisfied customers have said that it takes orgasms to a whole ‘nother level, y’all.
4. Or Apple Pie Lubricant
GiphySpeaking of lubricants, when it comes to signature foods for the 4th, outside of grilled meat, it doesn’t get too much more American than apple pie, chile. In the spirit of that, you might also want to cop yourself a tube of edible lubricant that comes in the flavor of this particular dessert like this brand here. I checked out several reviews and women said that not only does it taste pretty good, it provides a bit of a warm sensation as well. Hmph. Sounds like a good ole’ slice of apple pie to me (sans the calories and plus the climaxing — a win all the way around!).
5. Play with Some Sweet Tea Ice Cubes
GiphyAs far as signature drinks go — not just on Independence Day but the summer, in general — is there anything more popular than sweet tea? Southern home-brewed sweet tea, at that? This Fourth of July, when it comes to your bedroom activities, pour some tea into a couple of ice trays, freeze them, and then pull aMookie and Tina (shout-out to the Do the Right Thing movie). Temperature play can definitely increase your stimulation levels; plus, since the tea is sweet, it can be a really nice and unexpected foreplay surprise.
6. Invest in a Popsicle Vibrator
GiphySpeaking of temperature play, if you want to bring a sex toy or two into the mix, why not a popsicle (since that’s pretty popular this time of year, too) vibrator like this onehere? Take the thrill up a notch by applying one of the flavored lubes to it, freezing it, and then using it…however you plan to. I bet you'll never see a popsicle quite the same way again! #wink
7. Or a Strawberry Shortcake Egg
GiphyA summertime dessert that many people just can’t seem to get enough of isstrawberry shortcake. On the sex tip, that’s cool to know because, not only are strawberriesin season right about now, but they are also considered to be abona fide aphrodisiac. That’s because the high amount of vitamin C that is in them can help to keep your libido in great condition. Well, as you’re enjoying some shortcake or strawberries and whipped cream in a more creative kind of way (eh hem), another sex toy option is a Strawberry Shortcake Egg (here). It literally looks like a strawberry, it’s waterproof and fast-charging and it has 20 different vibrating functions. Awesome!
8. Get into the Fireworks Sex Position
GiphyI’m telling you, if you’re tired of doing the same go-to sex moves, cyberspace has a ton of sex position options for you to choose from. For instance, did you even know that there is a sex position known as “fireworks”? Now, I won’t lie — you need to be semi-flexible and have some solid upper arm strength (both of you) in order to really pull it off. Yet, from what I gather, the grinding possibilities, coupled with the direct eye contact, could make for a truly memorable time. You can see the position for yourself here.
9. Go Outdoors
GiphyMost Independence Day activities happen outdoors, right? Why not take your sexual escapades out there, too, by either having sex in your car or in a tent in your backyard (so long as it's nighttime, of course)? Or, you could stay inside; the workaround is to book a room at a hotel and get up on a really high floor so that you can engage in some coitus in front of a window without worrying about if someone is (really) going to see you. It’s a surefire way to pull the exhibitionist out in you — that’s for damn sure!
10. And Enjoy a Lil’ “Sex in the Driveway”
GiphyIt’s not a myth that alcohol can play a role in making sex better — so long as it’s consumed in moderation. In fact,many studies say that a drink or two can make you feel sexier, can sometimes make sex last longer, and for some, it can intensify orgasms as well. So, if you’re looking for a creative cocktail for you and your bae to enjoy this coming holiday, have you ever tried a Sex in the Driveway before? It’s a beautifully blue drink that contains vodka, Blue Curaçao, Peach Schnapps, and Sprite (recipehere). Since you’re gonna be outside for a little while anyway, why not consume something that focuses on that very theme? Happy Fireworks and Fourth, y’all!
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Giphy