
Don’t Quit Your Day Job: 7 Life Lessons Your Employer Is Teaching You Daily

In this new era of entrepreneurship, it's easy to jump the gun on leaping into your own venture. We've made being a boss look so sexy, that a regular 9-5 starts to seem mundane or subpar to this grand life we could otherwise have.
Although that might very well be the case, it is also quite possible that we are so busy hating our jobs that we forget to learn from them. Here's a rundown of the life lessons you might be missing from work:
Be Confident
The way my work ethic is set up, I just knew I'd have a flawless end of year review as I wrapped up year one at my job. I clearly thought wrong. There, in plain English, was a note to work on increasing my confidence. Turns out, playing it safe by verifying every little thing with my manager was getting on his last nerve.
Instead, he expected me to trust my own judgment enough to pull the trigger on deals and initiatives without crawling to him for validation.
At the very least, it was my responsibility to confidently offer up a solution and seek feedback on whether it aligned with his vision. Instead, I was operating with training wheels – too nervous to fully take charge.
From this experience, I learned the importance of trusting my decision-making. Before you can ever fully be successful, you'll be tasked with letting go of the Imposter Syndrome that often holds us back. Be determined to have a take-charge attitude in all that you do. You'll find that you are equipped with everything you need to make it happen. You just have to be confident enough to do it.
Always Add Value
Your employer is still in business because their company adds value in some way.
Their product alleviates a stress point or solves a particular problem for customers. Regardless of the industry or commodity, the company continues to function because of its proven worth. The moment the company fails at this function, it becomes expendable and will likely close its doors.
As an independent queen working for your throne, nothing is more important than showcasing the value you bring to the table. Everything we do should be reflective of this mindset. It's the stuff that thriving brands and awesome promotions are made of. Learn how you add value, and flaunt it in ways that make you indispensable to those around you.
Have a Plan
Once a quarter, my company hosts a huge meeting. In it, we discuss the progress of the company, as well as any setbacks we've faced. Next, we review a report that assesses the reason for these outcomes and covers our roadmap for the new quarter. Boring but crucial. Without a solid plan, companies will never experience true growth.
Our dreams are a lot like this. We need an ever-evolving game-plan for success. The roadmap will always change according to setbacks and accomplishments. Nevertheless, it ensures that we stay the course. It's how we stay focused on our own intended outcomes.
Whether you're looking to launch your own business, expand your skillset, or settle down in a relationship, you've gotta have a plan.
Get in the habit of evaluating where you are vs. where you hope to be by the next quarter. Afterward, be strategic about how you can get to your point. You'll be a step closer to measurable results you can see.
Do More Than Required
It turns out that most women earn promotions and raises at work by demonstrating that they are doing more than the duties spelled out under their job descriptions.
This leverage puts them in a position to speak to the value they add and thus advocate for more money. Going the extra mile will always make you stand out and set the tone for more opportunities. Make it a common practice to do more than required and you'll always come out on top in the end.
Cut the Fat
My company recently underwent a merger. The end result was a lot of overlap in company-wide responsibilities, and a ton of folks who just couldn't get with the new direction of the corporation. These two factors had the potential to affect the business's bottom line. This led to layoffs and reorganizations in an effort to ensure company stability. While unfortunate, the company chose to do what it felt was in its own best interest. Such is life.
When we get rid of the things that no longer align with our purpose, we allow ourselves to grow and evolve. When we don't, we risk negative outcomes and setbacks.
Be mindful of the things attached to you and consciously assess whether they are helpful or harmful to your focus. If it no longer serves you, cut it so that you can thrive.
It's About Who You Know
At work, nothing gets done without proper sign off from designated supervisors. Those that are in this position hold the power of the pen, and their influence is considered the determining factor on whether an initiative is funded or an interviewee gets the job.
We learn that making things happen requires us to first get in the room. From the right interactions, we are able to present ideas and initiatives, request raises, and develop rapport. When we fail to do these things, we are simply overlooked.
Getting in front of the right people works the same in our personal lives. Connections make the world go round. Make a valiant effort to connect with people who can help propel your goals. Make the sacrifice to pay for that conference or attend that social. It's the only way you'll be able to learn who the movers and shakers are and learn from them.
Be a Sales Pro
Whether you realize it or not, a major component of any job involves selling. Each week, when I submit story ideas to xoNecole, I am attempting to sell them on why readers will love my latest piece. When you are completing tasks early or providing outstanding performance results, it is all in an effort to sell the right people on your capabilities. In turn, this leads to opportunities for growth.
Without this vital component, you might never receive a raise or a bonus, or worse, you might be let go.
Whether it's to avoid negative outcomes or yield more positive results, on a day-to-day basis, we sell ourselves. Keep that same energy when it comes to your career. Look at each interaction as an opportunity to sell yourself. You never know who's watching your pitch and how it can work to your benefit in the future.
Put your best foot forward at all times and blessings will keep falling in your lap.
Related Stories:
7 Ways to Add Value & Secure Your Raise or Promotion - Read More
You Were Looked Over For A Promotion, Now What? - Read More
Emmy-Winning Zazie Beetz Opens Up About Impostor Syndrome - Read More
5 Ways to Stop Self-Sabotaging Yourself - Read More
Featured image by Shutterstock
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Kandice Guice is a lifestyle and beauty writer who doubles as an attorney and entrepreneur. She prides herself on helping multidimensional women discover personal and professional fulfillment by encouraging them to live with ambition, sass, and a whole lot of pizzazz. When Kandice isn't closing corporate transactions or writing blog posts, she is usually cheering on her husband as a football coach or looking for new travel adventures with friends and family. Check her out at kandiceguice.com and follow her on all things social @kandiceguice.
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image screenshot/ xoNecole YouTube
I’ve gotta say that, for the most part, my friends are pretty damn chill. There is one (major) exception, though — and it’s an odd one. Even after all these years and countless times of me giving them the same answer, if there is a time when they think they are my mama, it’s when they see an email come through at an odd hour of the night. Then, all of a sudden, here they come asking me when do I get sleep if I’m emailing at (say) three in the morning.
Again, the answer never changes because, if there is one thing that Shellie Reneé Warren is gonna get, it’s 6-8 (sometimes nine) hours of sleep. However, since my chronotype (check out “Ever Wonder What Personality Traits Make Someone A 'Morning Person'?”) means that I like/prefer to write in the wee hours of the morning, sometimes I will sleep for the night for five hours and take a nap in the day. And y’all, that is just fine with me because I am well aware of the fact that napping does everything from give me more energy, heighten my alertness and even make me more creative to decrease stress levels, strengthen immunity, and reduce my chances of experiencing a heart attack or stroke.
My problem is I will oftentimes go “overboard” with my daytime zzz’s. What I mean by that is, in order to get the most out of a nap, they say thatyou shouldn’t sleep for longer than 25 minutes or so; otherwise, you could wake up feeling sluggish (I don’t but…). Also, it can make resting, soundly, at night a bit of a struggle.
So, what are you saying, Shellie? We should get quickies in? Yeah. And it’s funny that the word “quickie” would come up because just like a sex quickie can do wonders for you (and it can — check out “12 Super Solid Reasons To Have A Quickie Every Single Day”), it’s a full-circle moment when I say that something that can improve the quality of your sex life is to have a power nap (a nap that lasts between 10-30 minutes).
Wanna know how the two things correlate? Honestly, it’s no secret that sleep and sex work together to optimize both (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”). Today, though, we’re going to tap into how a nap, specifically, can have you partaking in some of the best sex that you’ve experienced in a minute. I’ll explain.
Naps Reduce Stress
If you’re feeling super stressed out right now, you are not alone. There is plenty of data out here that says that most of us are stressed for at least a couple of reasons at a time — and that can impact your sexual health on a few levels. For one thing, it can bring about feelings of depression and/or anxiety. Stress can also throw your hormone levels off (including your cycle) which can weaken your libido. Stress can make you want to put distance between you and your partner (yes, literally).
Stress can also make it challenging to get aroused or to have an orgasm. And just what can help to decrease stress? Taking a nap. Since sleep has a way of helping you to “get off of the clock” and relax a bit, that can lower your stress levels and “reset” your body so that you are calmer — and that, in turn, can do wonders for your sex drive and ultimately your sex life.
Naps Improve Your Mood
There is one person in my life, and fairly 80 percent of the time, she’s in a super good mood. Oh, but let that girl go without sleep, and…who is this woman? LOL. There’s research behind why this happens. When a person is sleep-deprived, it messes with their brain chemicals, and that can amplify emotions like anger, restlessness and sadness. In fact, one study revealed that people who had their sleep disrupted throughout the night, they ended up having their positive outlook on life reduced by about 30 percent.
And geeze, who wants to have sex when they’re not feeling very good? Anyway, since serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps to regulate your moods, your sleep patterns, and your libido and sleep is what helps to keep it in balance — by taking a nap, not only can it help you to feel better, it can also increase your desire for sex (it can also build up your endurance which is also…sexually beneficial).
Naps Increase Your Focus and Concentration
Something that some of my clients bring up is how, when it comes to having sex, sometimes the flesh is willing while the spirit is weak because, although the desire for intimacy is there, so much is going on that they aren’t able to get still enough to focus on experiencing copulation with their partner. This also tracks because, when you don’t have enough rest, your brain finds itself not working in harmony and that can make it hard to do everything from approaching life with a sense of flexibility to making necessary decisions.
Certain data also reveal that a lack of rest can cause you to have a really poor attention span and not process things in context (the more you know). So, if you really want to get some yet it’s hard for you to focus long enough to make it happen, ask your bae to lie down with you and take a nap. Between the sleep and the snuggling (check out “Fall's Coming: 8 Wonderful Health Benefits Of Cuddling”) — you may wake up with your mind and body totally on the same page. #wink
Naps Can Make You Feel Better About Your Body
Even if, overall, you feel really good about your body, I think that we all have moments when we feel less attractive than others — and who wants to have sex when they don’t really feel…very sexy? Well, something else that sleep, in general, can do is increase your confidence in your body.
For one thing, if you want to lose a few pounds, sleep can actually make that happen by helping your body metabolize the glucose (sugar) that’s in it so that you can better manage your appetite. Other studies go on to share that since sleep deprivation can impact one’s mental health and emotional stability in a negative way, of course, getting enough rest would increase body positivity.
Shoot, science even goes so far as to say that insomnia can cause people to have an elevated level of dissatisfaction when it comes to their body image. Don’t take their word for it, though. Look in the mirror before a nap. Then look in a mirror after waking up from me. Do you feel better? I’d be surprised if you don’t.
Makes Your Brain Bigger…Which Could Make Your Orgasms Better
I saved the best for last by design. Now if you’re wondering how in the world a nap can improve (and possibly increase) your orgasms — oh, there is a method to the madness…trust. For starters, the saying that your biggest sex organ is your brain? That isn’t a myth. Long story less long, the brain is what houses your central nervous system and that is what controls how men and women sexually function (yes, literally).
And since the brain also releases feel-good chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin during sex and brain activity significantly increases in women during sexual activity (especially right before she orgasms) — well, would it trip you out to know that when you take a nap, your brain actually expands? A bigger brain (that’s healthy) can potentially intensify your sexual experiences (and your climaxes) — and who doesn’t want that to go down?
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Like I said earlier, I never have to be convinced to get a nap in. However, if your sex life has been a bit stagnant lately, you’ve been feeling a little sluggish and you’re not sure what to do — I’m hoping that a nap can get you right.
There’s enough science to prove that it can. All you need to do is give it a shot.
Now where’s your pillow and sleep mask, chile?
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