
LeToya Luckett Wants New Role To Serve As A Reminder That Women Should Go After What They Deserve

In her latest transformative role, LeToya Luckett sheds her glamorous persona to embody a character who survives a harrowing near-death experience, only to rise from the ashes and reclaim everything she lost in Lifetime’s I Thought My Husband’s Wife Was Dead.
The suspenseful movie, based on the novel Unmissing by bestselling author Minka Kent, also stars Sherilyn Allen, former pro football player Jamall Johnson, and Angela “Blac Chyna” White. The story centers around Lola Winters, played by Allen, who is an expectant mother and wife of Leo Winters, played by Johnson, with a penchant for donning all-white ensembles.
Together, the affluent couple live a lavish lifestyle and maintain a ritzy restaurant. However, their lives are disrupted when Tori reemerges at her husband’s doorstep after being missing for five years and declared dead.
Luckett admitted that the role triggered some deep-seated emotions but was also liberating, which drew her to the role.
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“I felt like she was different from any character I've ever played. I'm used to being suited and booted and glammed and all the things [but] Tori was the complete opposite of that, you know what I mean? Her story was so layered - going through such a traumatic experience, coming out, finding her way back, and going after what she asked, ultimately, what was hers,” Luckett explains.
I felt like she was different from any character I've ever played. I'm used to being suited and booted and glammed and all the things [but] Tori was the complete opposite of that, you know what I mean? Her story was so layered - going through such a traumatic experience, coming out, finding her way back, and going after what she asked, ultimately, what was hers.
“She was fighting for her life. I think that there are so many people out there that are, you know, going through traumatic situations or feel like they're fighting the good fight alone. I wanted to play this character or help in telling the story to let them know, ‘Nope, you're not alone. You're not by yourself. There are other people suffering, other people going through it, other people climbing the ladder, feeling like they're going nowhere.’ But then, somehow, there seems to be a light at the end of the tunnel.”
Luckett’s empathy for her character, Victoria, also propelled her to do a deep dive into her complex background and mysterious return in preparation for filming. The two-time Grammy award winner also took time out to speak to women who were domestic abuse survivors in shelters and were undergoing treatment for their traumatic experiences while also tapping into her experiences.
“I found myself tapping into some things that I thought I had healed from, and it wasn't until they yelled, cut, [that] I was still crying. I was like, ‘Wait a minute, hold on,’” she says.
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“If I use that as motivation, and I'm still feeling it as though it happened yesterday, and it probably happened years ago, I my might need to call my therapist, we might need to talk about some things, or just kind of revisit some things, but I really just allowed myself to be open and free and not judge her character and not put the emotions that I was feeling for her and to honestly just step into her experience as best I could.”
Her performance reflects the time she spent understanding the nuances of her character, especially Victoria’s motivation to actively pursue all that she lost during her five years away. When asked if women should feel entitled to go after what they deserve, Luckett answers a resounding ‘yes.’
“Why not? Men do it every day. Why not? It's almost a thing that women have, this nurturing spirit, and they want to take care of everyone before they take care of themselves. I think that we do a disservice to ourselves by doing that,” she says.
“We can't keep trying to pour and give and be okay with operating out of an empty glass. You know what I mean? And taking second best, like, I'm glad that we are finally waking up, and I feel like the rest of the world is waking up from that to just being a common thing that women have to sacrifice themselves and everybody be okay with that or not get what the man next to us, who probably isn't as capable of the job, him getting more. No, go ahead and go get what’s yours, and when you get the ‘no’ the first go around, try again, and turn that thing into a ‘yes,’" she emphatically states.
Why not? Men do it every day. Why not? It's almost a thing that women have, this nurturing spirit, and they want to take care of everyone before they take care of themselves. I think that we do a disservice to ourselves by doing that. We can't keep trying to pour and give and be okay with operating out of an empty glass. You know what I mean? And taking second best, like, I'm glad that we are finally waking up, and I feel like the rest of the world is waking up from that to just being a common thing that women have to sacrifice themselves and everybody be okay with that or not get what the man next to us, who probably isn't as capable of the job, him getting more.
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As the newlywed previously said, she had to protect her mental health during filming by being in contact with her therapist. She admits that she began seeing a therapist around the age of 19/20 to deal with her claustrophobia and soon realized she needed to unearth some childhood trauma, “Baby, I haven’t been able to let her go since,” Luckett says.
“I feel the biggest part of self-care also is listening to oneself. If your body is saying ‘sit down, [then] sit down.” If your body is saying, ‘hey, the stress is getting to be too much,’ then we have to use our wisdom and awareness to believe what our body is telling us. I'm starting to finally listen to myself and trust my instincts and trust what my body is saying.”
Luckett's self-awareness also aids her in motherhood as she cares for her two young children. She reveals that she cherished quiet moments before having children and takes the time to give herself a break. The 43-year-old actress also listed going to the spa and disconnecting from her phone as another vital self-care go-to that she incorporated into her day-to-day life.
“I have made it a point at least twice a month to go into my favorite spa, shutting my phone off. I mean logging off completely and being okay with it. We let our phones control us, and especially with social media we have this fear of missing out on what's going on in the world, and we don't know how to detach from that,” she says. “I feel like a form of my self-care recently has been, for real, detach, let go. Let those people out there on social media live their lives and I want to be present in mine.”
Luckett admits she isn’t slowing down soon as she has more projects on the horizon, like her fashion capsule In The Trunk (a statement she made on the Terrell Show) that now has t-shirts and hoodies for sale. “When I said it, so many people came up to me and we're like, ‘Yo, that line changed my life. Like for real. It really helped me to kind of get out of my own way.’ So we made a shirt, and it is available on my website.
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"We have two colors right now, which would be the cream, and black. I can't wait for hoodie season because I'll rock it at the airport right now. When I tell you I can't go nowhere and somebody not say, ‘Oh my god, I love your shirt. Oh my god, I love your hoodie because of what it says and the cute little graphic that I came up with.”
She intends to expand her line by Christmas. In addition, fans can also anticipate the return of her YouTube channel “Leave It to LeToya” within the coming months.
“Of course, we're promoting the film right now. So August 3rd is a big day. But I love connecting with my people via my YouTube page and also my Instagram, so I will definitely be coming back with a show, but it'll be based around my life, being a single mom and raising the two littles and asking the hard questions and my healing process, my journey, having more conversation with my therapist, all the things that people loved. We're going to be getting the ball moving on that again,” she assures.
Be sure to tune into the anticipated thriller I Thought My Husband’s Wife Was Dead, which debuts Saturday, Aug. 3, at 8 p.m. ET on Lifetime.
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Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
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It’s almost always “annoyingly fun” to have conversations with super churchy folks. Example? Recently, I had on an anklet that a particular woman took notice of. When she complimented it and asked what it was made of, I said, “Moonstone, which is one of my birthstones.” Oddly enough, she then turned up her nose and said that stones and crystals were tied to witchcraft, to which I casually replied, “Then I guess you hate Aaron’s breastplate, huh?” She paused and turned her nose up again — this time, though, because she just experienced a good old-fashioned “checkmate.”
This article is about crystals not Scripture, so when it comes to the latter, I’ll just briefly say that if you mosey on over to Exodus 28, you’ll see that a high priest breastplate is referenced; one that contains precious gems including topaz, sapphire, agate, onyx and jasper (and that’s just for starters!). Yeah, it really is important to not just throw judgments around like confetti — know of what you are actually speaking of first (because that’s what Matthew 7 is really all about).
I did think it was important to mention that for potential skeptics about why this article even exists. Because although there are Scriptural and evenscience-based individuals who roll their eyes at the power of what gemstones and crystals can (possibly) do, I’m pretty sure that some of you are not surprised that the holistic and Ayurveda worlds see it all very differently.In those realms, energy plays a big role in physical, emotional, and mental health, and crystals are believed to cultivate balance or intensify certain feelings or experiences through that said energy.
That said, when it comes to sex, specifically, there are certain stones (which are basically what crystals are;in fact, all gemstones are a type of crystal) that are believed to help make intimacy even more satisfying. If you’re curious about which ones are, I’ve got 10 for you below.
10 Crystals That May Enhance Your Intimate Life
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1. Garnet
Garnet is a rich shade of red that happens to be January’s gemstone. It’s considered to be one of the oldest gemstones around, one that Egyptians believed was a symbol of life and something that they oftentimes wore in their signet rings. As far as symbolism goes, garnet also represents love and vitality as well as energy, passion and even self-confidence — all of which are quite relevant when it comes to having an active and fulfilling sex life.
2. Amethyst
Queen Cleopatra and Leonardo da Vinci are just two powerful figures who were big fans of the purple gemstone amethyst. Interestingly enough, it is February’s birthstone — the month that Valentine’s Day falls under. Another interesting fact is many early Christians relied on this gem in order to increase their spirituality while many Greeks used to see it as a stone that provided protection. When it comes to intimacy, amethyst is also associated with love and devotion as well as feelings of calm and reduced anxiety — and since the less calm you feel, the easier it is to climax…well. #wink
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3. Orange Carnelian
Looking to experience more joy and happiness? Or maybe you want to strengthen your friendships. Or perhaps it’s time to increase your pleasure levels or to go into deeper levels of sensuality. For all of these things, orange carnelian is a top-tier pick. As I did a bit more research on this stone, it’s considered to be a royal one and something that can bring forth peace. One of my favorite things about orange carnelian is it comes in different hues of orange — the deeper the color, the more passion it exudes. Just an FYI.
4. Rose Quartz
If you want to take your romantic relationship to another level, rose quartz has a solid reputation for helping to make that happen for you. In fact, this pink crystal is oftentimes referred to as being the stone of unconditional love because it encourages the wearers of it to both give as well as put themselves in the position to receive love too. Since rose quartz is also tied to things like emotional healing, restored trust and harmony, if you’re looking to make a much deeper intimate connection with your partner, this just might be the stone for you.
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5. Rhodochrosite
Rhodochrosite is a red-rose colored stone that I personally hold dear. I say that because, as a survivor of sexual abuse, it is one that helps recovering individuals to work through sexual trauma (and trauma, in general). It is associated with love, compassion and strength as it helps you to process your emotions in a positive way, so that you are able to effectively release past pain and deal with any PTSD that you might have. You know, I know a wife who sexually struggled in her marriage for years because she had been sexually assaulted in college and never told her husband.
A stone of compassion is a precious one — including when it comes to dealing with sexual trauma and intimacy challenges and learning how to face them. Salute to this stone right here.
6. Citrine
Citrine is November’s birthstone and its rich yellow color explains why it represents things like abundance, prosperity, radiance and happiness. Aside from this, whether you’re seeking clarity, you’d like to be more creative or you’re interested in becoming more sensual, citrine encourages all of this. Sensuality is a dope word because it’s all about appealing to all five senses; especially during intimacy. To learn more about how to do that, check out “How To Incorporate All Five Senses To Have The Best Sex Ever.”
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7. Red Jasper
While doing my own research on what red jasper represents, what I liked the most is it’s something that encourages emotional stability which is always a wonderful thing to have. Although it is a fiery red color, it also contains grounding properties and it symbolizes strength, courage and, another word that can always make sex more pleasurable: stamina. Since stamina is what helps both men and women to last longer during sex, anything that is a “stamina hack” earns an automatic mention when it comes to sex-themed content — including this.
8. Clear Quartz
A fun fact about quartz is it’s one of the most common minerals on this planet. When it comes to clear quartz, specifically, I like the way that it looks because it’s either a cloudy white or something that you can see straight through. As far as its symbolism is concerned, if you want to reduce physical discomfort, remove distractions and focus more on heightened levels of yourself, this crystal represents all of that. Clear quartz also encourages healing, spiritual growth and balance. To me, it seems like if you want to cultivate a spiritual or meditative (check out “What Exactly Is 'Orgasmic Meditation'?”) experience with your partner, clear quartz is a stone to try.
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9. Shiva Lingam
I ain’t got no lies to tell you — when I first happened upon this particular stone, the first thing that came to my mind was an article that I penned for the site back in the day entitled, “Blow Your Man's Mind By Giving Him This Tantalizing Massage.” That’s because it explains what a lingam massage is and, as you can see, this crystal has that word all up in it. The history of lingam is a bit layered (you can read about it here); however, because it is considered by many to be a phallic symbol and that typically represents the penis — shiva lingam is a neutral-colored crystal that represents both sexuality as well as fertility. Shocking, right? #sarcasm
10. Pyrite
It doesn’t escape me that it’s kind of funny that I’m closing this out with a crystal that has the nickname “fool’s gold.” That’s due to its appearance. That said, it’s also a stone that has some interesting symbolism to it. Since it comes from a Greek word that means fire — of course, it’s a crystal of passion. Since it also taps into things like heightened energy, self-esteem, creativity, awakened senses and the removal of toxic thoughts — if any stone should be in your “let’s get it on” crystal collection, pyrite would be the one!
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Know what’s kinda wild? While I was on Etsy’s site looking for another moonstone, a sake popped up in my feed on what the merchant calls their “libido crystal set” — and six of the 10 stones that I’ve mentioned throughout this article are featured in the collection.
Yeah, I’ll take that as a confirmation that whether you purchase a piece of jewelry that has one (or more) of these stones or you buy a piece of crystal itself to place somewhere in your bedroom — just putting your own energy into wanting a better sex life is a powerful step in the right direction to achieving it.
And what science can’t refute is the benefits of positive thoughts and actions — crystals or not.
So, if precious stones are totally your thing — enjoy, sis. Enjoy!
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