I got my life at church recently. My pastor (shoutout to Pastor Danielle Murphy) was talking about how being caught up in your feelings can stop you from living your best life. Of course, there's the whole connotation of Drake's song "In My Feelings", but in all seriousness, I had to come to terms that my emotions were taking over for a lot of areas I didn't even realize.
While the stigma that women are emotional creatures has arguably been proven, I know I'm one of those people that have made decisions based off of my emotions and they clearly didn't suit me. On the flip side, when you don't let your emotions take control, you'll be closer to living your best life.
Get Over Overthinking & Overreacting
I can be so terrible at this. Our emotions have this super heavy power to make us overthink any situation and then overreact. The worst part is that most of the time it's about a situation that we've completely made up in our head. You have one thought (i.e. that someone has an issue with you), and then use everything that person says or does to justify why you think that about them. It's not only draining (because who has time to come up with Tyler Perry's latest plot line in our mind), but it can also create awkward situations in real life that only started with an assumption in your mind.
Overthinking and overreacting can really cause us to push people away that actually care about us, because we've tried to convince ourselves that they're being shady. One of the ways to overcome your emotions in this case is to address it head-on and trust the answer without trying to make it fit into what you've already come up with. I know this one is hard but it can also be refreshing once you make it a lifestyle.
Slow Your Roll On Decisions
There aren't too many things that are worse than making a bad decision because of how we feel in the moment. Ugh. But being in our feelings can make us do it. It can be something as simple as eating way too much ice cream because you had an amazing day or something as drastic as sleeping with an ex who you finally got away from after a toxic relationship. Look, nobody can judge because we've all let our emotions get the best of us when it comes to making decisions in the moment. So I think it's safe to say the remedy would be to not make a decision in that moment. Like, what's the rush?
I remember when I was looking for a car and someone told me to not give in to the pressure of car salesmen who wanted me to drive off with a new car that day. The person told me I should wait, think it over for a few days, and then make a sound and smart decision. Well, I didn't listen and bought a car that day, and it didn't take long for me to regret it. I feel like this can apply to any situation and can help make us feel better and at peace about the decision.
Point Out Your Triggers
Yes, we're women. But not everything causes us to just react and go crazy. There's usually something that will trigger our emotions and make us want to be petty and have an unhealthy reaction. Even though we might know subconsciously what our triggers are, like having those thoughts, "I hate when they do that," that's not necessarily being intentional about overcoming our emotions in the situation.I think the initial thing is to not only realize how you feel about it but figure out why.
If it's something serious, don't hesitate to try therapy (we could probably all use a weekly session). But once you realize why whatever it is gets under your skin, you might not be so bothered or even shocked when it happens. And you can get on with living your best life, boo.
Focus On The Good
There are a lot of things going on in life that can have our emotions on 100; especially if it's something we didn't see coming. But there are also several positive aspects you can choose to focus on that can help you get control of your emotions. It's no secret that what you put your attention to can get magnified and seem like it's a bigger deal than it really is. So why not make sure it's something positive instead of something negative that can seemingly eat us up inside?
Focusing on the good things in life not only makes you feel better and refreshed about what you have going on, but it lets your emotions know that you're the one in charge.
Get Ahead Of The Game
When those negative emotions come and make you want to react, you literally have to shut it down. At first, you might not even recognize that your emotions are controlling you, but anytime something negative enters your mind, just go with the opposite; even if you have to say the positive out loud. Emotions will try to get you to think you're by yourself and focus on the negative parts of your life and overlook the good. Either way, they have a dangerous power of not letting us live our best life.
Don't feel crazy if you have to tell your emotions, "We're not doing this today y'all," and be intentional about just being positive and having control over your feelings, not the other way around. Just trust that once you do reach this threshold, you'll look up and be living your best life without question.
Featured image by Shutterstock
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So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
