Here's How To Increase Vaginal Lubrication. Naturally.
So, before getting into how to naturally produce more vaginal lubrication, I think it's important to put on record that, when it comes to what comes out of our vagina, there's discharge, there's cervical fluid and then there's lubrication which typically happens whenever you're sexually aroused. Discharge (and to a certain extent, cervical fluid; they both tend to change somewhat throughout the month) is fluid that comes out of your vagina and consists of cells from your cervix and vagina, along with bacteria, mucus and water. Lubrication—you know, "getting wet"—is all about what happens when you're either strongly physically attracted to someone or you're in the act of foreplay. Today, we're gonna touch on how to keep the latter (sexual arousal-related fluids) flowing.
Foreplay is certainly one of the best ways to ensure that you are able to get and stay wet so that sex can be more comfortable and pleasurable for you. And, of course, there's definitely nothing wrong with using manufactured lubricant to get the job done. Still, it's also wise to keep in mind that there are things that you can do, health-wise, from the natural side of things, that can keep everything going…just as you would like it to too. So, if you're someone who lives by the motto "the wetter, the better" when it comes to sex, here are 10 ways that can help you with attaining this particular goal.
1. Drink More Water
Did you know that 75 percent of Americans are chronically dehydrated? That they only consume about 2 ½ cups of water each day? You can check out "10 Overlooked Signs That You're Dehydrated" to get a good idea of why being dehydrated tends to be so problematic. In the meantime, I'm pretty sure you can put two and two together as it relates to how not having enough H2O in your system can cause your vagina to become like the Sahara up in there. Drinking eight glasses of water each day is the traditional recommendation when it comes to staying properly hydrated. "She" will definitely thank you if you adhere.
2. Exercise 2-4 Times a Week
No matter how you're trying to improve your overall health and well-being, you're going to have a hard time finding an article that doesn't mention exercise as one way to do it. As far as lubricating your vagina is concerned, cardio, 2-3 times a week, for 20-45 minutes at a time, is great because it helps to get your blood circulation going. Your body needs this to happen because that's how your system gets the consistent oxygen and nutrients that it requires. Blood flow to your nether regions is important, especially when it comes to sexual arousal because it can intensify your orgasms. Plus, exercising also helps to keep your hormones balanced. The more balanced they are, the easier it will be for your vagina to get and remain lubricated. So, definitely make working out a part of your daily routine.
3. Take a Vitamin D Supplement
Because we've got melanin in us, it's more difficult for our bodies to produce Vitamin D. As a result, one study cites that as much as 76 percent of the American Black population is Vitamin D deficient. We need Vitamin D because it helps to strengthen our bones and muscles, helps to fight bodily inflammation and it can even assist in preventing type 1 and 2 diabetes. Not only that but there is more and more data coming out to support the fact Vitamin D that can also help to protect us—yes, Black people—from getting COVID-19. And just why does your vagina need it? Word on the street is, if you take Vitamin D in supplement form, daily, for eight weeks, you should notice less vaginal dryness and more lubrication.
Since Vitamin D is beneficial in so many other ways, it definitely can't hurt to give it a shot.
4. Also, Take a Vitamin E One While You’re at It
While we're on the topic of supplements, another one that you may want to take is Vitamin E. One of the best things about this particular vitamin is it's an awesome antioxidant that helps to protect your cells from experiencing damage. As it specifically relates to your vagina, Vitamin E has the ability to reduce vaginal atrophy-related issues. Vaginal atrophy is what happens when the walls of your vagina start to thin which can lead to dryness. In fact, the results of Vitamin E increase significantly when they are paired with Vitamin D, so hopefully that's the inspiration you need in order to take both.
5. Add Some Sea Buckthorn Oil to Your Regimen
Something that I try to do is provide a heads up on various things that may not be brought up often. In walks, sea buckthorn oil. Long story short, it's an oil that is extracted from berries that come from the sea buckthorn plant. It's actually an oil that is very popular in Ayurvedic and traditional Chinese medicines. Aside from being packed with antioxidants, sea buckthorn oil is full of mono and polyunsaturated fat which are healthy fats. This makes the oil good for your heart. It's also able to help to prevent diabetes, boost your immunity, protect your skin from UV damage, fight cancer cells and help to keep your liver in top condition. Sea buckthorn oil makes the cut in this article because it's so hydrating that it can help to relieve vaginal dryness over time. Taking it daily, for three months, should result in your experiencing noticeable improvements.
6. Consume Some Fatty Acids
Omega-3-6-9 are all considered to be fatty acids. Fatty acids are good for you because they help to build your cell membranes. Specifically, omega-3 fats can fight inflammation, strengthen your heart and decrease liver fat. Omega-6 can help to fight off chronic diseases. Omega-9 is one that your body naturally produces; it also fights off inflammation. If you eat foods that are high in omega-3 like fish, walnuts, and chia seeds and take an evening primrose oil supplement (something that I am a huge fan of) for your omega-6 fix (by the way, foods that contain this fatty acid include sunflower seeds, almonds, and cashews), they both can help to increase vaginal lubrication; especially if you're currently going through menopause.
7. Have Some Isoflavones
Sometimes vaginal dryness is the direct result of being lower in estrogen than you should be. One way to combat this particular issue is to consume more isoflavones which, at the end of the day, are nothing more than plant-based estrogen. Foods that contain soy have isoflavones in them. However, if you're not a big soy person, green peas, cherries, celery, peanuts, lima beans, chickpeas and flaxseeds contain a lower amount of isoflavones than soy does; still, they do have a good amount of isoflavones in them. Drinking some red clover tea or taking a red clover supplement is another route that you can take. Just make sure to run that one by your doctor first because sometimes red clover is so powerful that it can affect your birth control's potency.
8. Up Your Protein
Long story short, protein is a macronutrient that helps to build muscle mass. That's not all, though. Protein is necessary because our hair and nails are made up of protein. We also need protein to keep our bones strong, boost our metabolism, lower our blood pressure, repair body tissues and oxygenate our system.
Your vagina could use some protein because a lot of protein-based foods contain amino acids that produce collagen. Collagen helps to give your vagina more elasticity which improves your vagina's ability to produce more lubrication. Foods that are high in protein include red meat, poultry, fish, eggs and yogurt (also check out "Vegetarian Or Vegan? Check Out These High Protein Foods.").
9. Stand Up More Often
You know, there are a lot of articles out in cyberspace that basically say "sitting is the new smoking". One of the reasons why is because sitting for hours on end can affect our posture which can affect our blood circulation and I've already touched on how that can cause your vagina to produce less lubrication than it needs to. A remedy? Stand up more often throughout the day. On your breaks and during your lunch hour, get away from your desk and walk around a bit. Every 15-20 minutes or so, stand up and stretch for a couple of minutes. If you're conducting a meeting, opt for standing rather than sitting if you can. Standing is a simple way to get more blood flowing through your body which can help you from head-to-hip-to toe.
10. Manage Your Stress
Something else that can definitely get your hormones totally out of wack is stress. And again, when your hormones are all topsy-turvy, it can make vaginal lubrication so much more of a challenge. That's why it's important to get no less than 6-8 hours of sleep, to do things that you enjoy, practice self-care, chill out sometimes, and—oh, the irony—have sex. All of these things will keep you calm so that the juices can flow. Yes, sis. Quite literally.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next October (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
This Black Woman-Owned Creative Agency Shows Us The Art Of Rebranding
Rebranding is an intricate process and very important to the success of businesses that want to change. However, before a business owner makes this decision, they should determine whether it's a rebrand or an evolution.
That's where people like Lola Adewuya come in. Lola is the founder and CEO of The Brand Doula, a brand development studio with a multidisciplinary approach to branding, social media, marketing, and design.
While an evolution is a natural progression that happens as businesses grow, a rebrand is a total change. Lola tells xoNecole, "A total rebrand is necessary when a business’s current reputation/what it’s known for is at odds with the business’s vision or direction.
"For example, if you’ve fundamentally changed what your product is and does, it’s likely that your brand is out of alignment with the business. Or, if you find your company is developing a reputation that doesn’t serve it, it might be time to pump the brakes and figure out what needs to change.
She continues, "Sometimes you’ll see companies (especially startups) announce a name change that comes with updated messaging, visuals, etc. That usually means their vision has changed or expanded, and their previous branding was too narrow/couldn’t encompass everything they planned to do."
Feature image courtesy
The Brand Doula was born in 2019, and its focus is on putting "the experiences, goals, and needs of women of color founders first," as well as brands with "culture-shifting missions."
According to Lola, culture-shifting is "the act of influencing dominant behavior, beliefs, or experiences in a community or group (ideally, for the better)."
"At The Brand Doula, we work with companies and leaders that set out to challenge the status quo in their industries and communities. They’re here to make an impact that sends ripples across the market," she says.
"We help the problem solvers of the world — the ones who aren't satisfied with 'this is how it's always been' and instead ask 'how could this be better?' Our clients build for impact, reimagining tools, systems, and ways of living to move cultures forward."
The Brand Doula has worked with many brands, including Too Collective, to assist with their collaboration with Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty and Balanced Black Girl for a "refresh," aka rebrand. For businesses looking to rebrand, Lola shares four essential steps.
1. Do an audit of your current brand experience — what’s still relevant and what needs to change? Reflect on why you’re doing the rebrand in the first place and what success would look like after relaunching.
2. Tackle the overall strategy first — before you start redesigning logos and websites, align on a new vision for your brand. How do you want your company to be positioned moving forward? Has your audience changed at all? Will your company have a fresh personality and voice?
3. Bring your audience along the journey — there’s no need to move in secret. Inviting your current audience into the journey can actually help them feel more connected to and invested in your story, enough to stick around as changes are being made.
4. Keep business moving — one of my biggest pet peeves is when companies take down their websites as soon as they have the idea to rebrand, then have a Coming Soon page up for months! You lose a lot of momentum and interest by doing that. If you’re still in business and generating income, continue to operate while you work on your rebrand behind the scenes. You don’t want to cut existing customers off out of the blue, and you also don’t want so much downtime that folks forget your business exists or start looking for other solutions.
While determining whether the rebrand was successful may take a few months, Lola says a clear sign that it is unsuccessful is negative feedback from your target audience. "Customers are typically more vocal about what they don’t like more than what they do like," she says.
But some good signs to look out for are improvements in engagement with your marketing, positive reviews, press and increase in retention, and overall feeling aligned with the new branding.
For more information about Lola and The Brand Doula, visit her website, thebranddoula.com.
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Not too long ago, while in a session with one of my clients, they were talking to me about having strong sex cravings that seemed to have come out of nowhere. After asking some questions for clarity’s sake, I got that the reason why they used the word “craving” is because it’s not like they are hornier than usual all of the time. Nah, it’s more like the urge creeps up at some pretty random and/or unexpected moments. What they wanted to know from me was if I thought that it was normal.
The short answer is “yes.”
Now, while it’s another message for another time that if this type of sex-related craving feels impulsive or out of one’s control, it could be a sign of someone who is leaning into some level of sex addiction; however, that is not what we’re going to unpack today. Today, we’re going to look into what could be going on with you if it seems like, lately, you’ve been having a greater desire for sex, and you can’t quite pinpoint why.
Because, just like, say, a craving for a particular type of food oftentimes reveals something that is going on with you physically or mentally — sex cravings tend to bring certain things to light in those same areas, too.
Let’s dig in…
Hormonal Shifts
GiphyAlthough I don’t have social media accounts, I do tiptoe out there to see what’s going on — and boy, do I roll my eyes whenever I hear folks act like being over 40 is old. SMDH. It’s especially annoying when I hear about it in the context of sex because, believe it or not, there are a lot of late perimenopausal and menopausal women who are “gettin’ theirs” more than some of these 20 and 30-year-olds are (just ask them).
One reason is that the fear of experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, for many, is now in their rearview mirror. Another is because some are taking a form of hormone therapy to treat the changes that their system is going through — and when you’re getting more estrogen, progesterone, and/or testosterone into your body (in order to level things out) — HUNNAY.
For other women, even consuming phytoestrogens (plant-based estrogen) like peaches, garlic, berries, spinach, and cabbage can make them want sex more than when those aren’t a part of their diet. Bottom line here, a shift in your sexual hormones can definitely cause you to desire sex more than you have before (or have in a while).
Ovulation
GiphyBack when I was a teen mom director for the local chapter of a national non-profit, something that I used to tell “my daughters” all of the time is when you know that you’re ovulating, that’s when you need to be hypervigilant about using wisdom when it comes to the sex-related decisions that you make. I’m thinking that most of you get why: your body was designed to feel its horniest when you’re able to get pregnant — and that is during your time of ovulation.
That’s why it really is a good idea to keep up with your cycle and, if a baby is not something that is on your priority list right now, you either avoid having sex during that time of the month or make sure to use some form of birth control. Chile, even women with low libidos can find themselves wanting to hang off of a chandelier or two when they are ovulating. It’s nature’s way.
A Healthy Diet
GiphyIf you happen to be someone with a sluggish sex drive and you know that you spend most of your time in a drive-thru, there is probably a direct correlation there. No joke. There is plenty of research out in cyberspace to support the fact that a wack diet and low sex drive have a lot in common. While processed foods and unhealthy fats can throw your (sex) hormones off, foods that are filled with zinc, vitamins B12 and D, and iron can ramp up your desire for intimacy.
This is why many people who decide to make a lifestyle change as far as their eating habits are concerned are oftentimes surprised by how much sex is on their minds and how much easier it is for them to orgasm because of it. While a part of it can be due to a boost in their sexual confidence, a lot of it has to do with consuming foods that will literally feed their libido (in a healthy way).
More Exercise
GiphyPlainly put, exercise makes you hornier. Not only does it boost your testosterone levels, (consistently) working out also lowers your stress levels and gives you a boost in the self-esteem department. On top of that, exercise makes you more flexible, builds up endurance, and increases blood circulation which can turn around and intensify your climaxes as a direct result. In fact, this is oftentimes why people will want to have sex right after a workout session.
While we’re here, let me also share that too much of a good thing can end up being counterproductive. What I mean by that is, that although it is wise to exercise on a regular basis, make sure to not overdo it. Something known as overtraining syndrome can result in fatigue, insomnia, and irritability; no one can really have amazing sex when all of that is going on.
Being a Certain Age
GiphyWhile it used to be said that the sexual peak for men is in their teens and for women, it’s in their 30s (some believe it’s because after 35, it’s more challenging for women to get pregnant and so our biological clock plays a role in it all), some research believes that coming to that conclusion isn’t fair because aging affects people differently. For instance, while on one hand, people in their 40s tend to see a dip in their sex hormones, as we’ve already discussed, hormone therapy (for both men and women) can level some of those issues out, if not increase some people’s sex drives altogether.
Adding to that, it should also go on record that some studies indicate that women between the ages of 27-45 actually have a stronger desire — or craving — for sex than women between the ages of 18-26. So honestly, there goes the myth that being younger (automatically) means that you’re hornier. #Elmoshrug
Certain Medications
GiphyIf you used to have a higher sex drive and you’re currently on an antidepressant, that could be why your desire for copulation has decreased. Some studies say that as much as 40 percent of people who are on these types of medication end up having a lower libido (by the way, antihistamines and beta-blockers can have this effect, too).
On the other hand, if you’ve been taking a prescribed drug to increase your sex drive (perhaps like Vyleesi or Addyi), then it would make sense that you may have an increased libido level. Other meds that may have a similar effect include birth control pills (since they alter your hormones), medications that help to treat Parkinson’s disease, along with dopamine-related drugs.
Less Stress
GiphyIf, on the days when you don’t seem to have a care in the world, you also desire sex more than usual, that’s not a coincidence either. Thing is, when you’re all stressed out, that can cause the stress hormone known as cortisol to work overtime and, when that happens, that can end up suppressing your sex hormones which can deplete you of sexual urges. Ironically, there is a flip side to this because when you engage in sexual activity, that actually elevates feel-good (and bonding) hormones like dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins, which can also de-stress you.
So basically, if you’re craving sex, you probably aren’t very stressed out (right now), and if you want to stop being stressed out, you probably should have some sex (some protected sex, if you don’t want to be stressed later up the road…if you know what I mean).
Having an Amazing Sex Life
GiphyTo me, this one right here should be a given because when something is both good to and for you, why wouldn’t you want more of it? So yeah, if you have a great sex life with someone, it’s common sense that you’d want to engage in that act with them as much as possible. Hey, not to mention the fact that orgasms activate your brain in a way similar to a drug high does.
So, if while reading this, you’re thinking about sexting your bae to make arrangements to — eh hem — satisfy your craving, I say go for it! To “greatly want” to connect with your partner in order to have some fulfilling and satisfying sex? What in the world could possibly be wrong with that?! Not a damn thing.
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