Here’s Why Barbados Should Be Your Next Girls Trip
I'm an island girl at heart.
I was born, raised, and still live in the beautiful islands of The Bahamas so I know for a fact that when I see bridal parties, girl squads, and women in general living their best lives on an island getaway and hashtagging their pics with #travelgoals, they're telling no lies!
I was invited on an all-girls trip to Barbados last year and I was super excited to soak in the sun on an island I'd never visited before! As a travel writer, this trip proved to be like none I'd ever experienced.
The trip was the brainchild of Black Girls Travel Too (BGTT) owner Danny Rivers-Mitchell whose company encourages, promotes, and supports Black women traveling the world and occupying spaces "they" say we can't or shouldn't be in. For the first time ever, 10 influential Black queens descended on an island at once to soak up some sun and prove that we too have an audience, reach and influence. In fact, when combined our followers total more than one million!
The ladies & Writer Ianthia Smith showing the impact of their reachPhoto by Will Edmond
How's that for influence?
After an early morning meet up in the JFK Airport in New York, friendships, bonds, and connections were immediately formed, and as we boarded our five-hour flight to paradise, it was crystal clear that this would be a girls trip I wouldn't soon forget.
Like most island destinations, the minute you hop off the plane, you're immediately hugged by sweet island breezes and intoxicated by the salt left lingering the air by the ocean's waves. Barbados is no different. It didn't help that we were in Rihanna's home country either, so our inner "bad gals" were all activated as we brought the bikinis, the melanin, and the sass!
Check out these 5 times me and my newest gal pals got our entire lives in Barbados!
Private Cooking Class on the Beach
Writer Ianthia Smith cooking with Barbados celeb chef Craig Greenidge
Photo by Will Edmond
Our first day out, we headed to the beach for a cooking demo with one of Barbados' celebrity chefs, Craig Greenidge. The entire atmosphere at Pirate's Cove was so tranquil and serene. Hammocks swayed in the midday sun as tropical drinks and cups of rum punch flowed endlessly. The sea glistened as the powder white sand seemingly evaporated between my toes. We were like little kids on the beach; dipping our toes in the water, running amuck and trying hard to pay attention to the chef as he walked us through cooking our meal of cassava chips, fish cakes, and curry chicken salad.
We helped to whip up a traditional Bajan meal and washed it back with more rum punch, of course. The food was delicious, but the relaxing mood and quiet of the beach satisfied our appetites more. We walked along the sandy shoreline for what seemed like hours, bonding, connecting, and capturing fire images of each other.
The results of the girls' private cooking lesson on the beach
Photo c/o Ianthia Smith
Nikki Beach was LIT!
Writer Ianthia Smith keeping things mellow in yellow on Nikki Beach
Photo by Will Edmond
No girls trip to Barbados is complete without a visit to Nikki Beach. I was not ready for the insane amount of fun and frolic that was awaiting my arrival at this posh, luxurious destination. The minute we arrived, it was clear that Nikki Beach was made with a queen in mind. Day beds and lounges stretched the length of the pool on one side, while the beach gave endless views on the other. Our section was ready and waiting for us when we arrived and we quickly traded whatever we were wearing for bikinis and one pieces. The vibe at Nikki Beach was lit for the entire time we were there. Freshly made mojitos were delivered to us with all the pomp and pageantry we deserved; our delicious spread was served on the cutest little boat complete with sparklers, music and...abs!
The beautiful ladies & Writer Ianthia Smith stylin' and profilin'
Photo by Will Edmond
A Catamaran Cruise for the Queens
The ladies enjoying sunbathing on their luxurious cruise
Photo by Will Edmond
We left land for a bit to head out on the water for a day of sailing and sun bathing...and scoping out Rihanna's mansion! On the high seas, we coined the phrase, "Riri, are you home?!" because we annoyingly shouted it for 20 minutes straight, hoping our favorite bad gal would hear us, and possibly come out on the balcony. We had a successful day of doing absolutely nothing as we lathered our melanin in the warm Bajan sun. Our catamaran cruise took us on a magical tour of the island, passing by mansions and five-star developments on the way. At one point, we stopped to snorkel and swim with the turtles and hop on jet skis, where some of us were far more adventurous than others. It was one of the most relaxing parts of the trip and...Rihanna never came outside lol.
Visiting Rihanna’s Childhood Home
Writer Ianthia Smith posted up on Rihanna Drive
Photo c/o Ianthia Smith
So, this time we got a little closer to Rihanna, but she still wasn't home! Either way, we got our entire lives visiting the home she grew up in. The tiny, but colorful house sits on a quaint corner named Rihanna Drive, in honor of our girl! There's this huge plaque sitting at the corner of the entrance, paying homage to the music and beauty mogul. A tiny red and white bar also welcomes you in. This building is definitely everything Rihanna, with paintings splashed on the ground featuring some of her song titles. We spent so much time at Riri's homestead taking a million photos on her front porch and chatting it up with the neighbors and Ms. Marj, the cutest little old lady who claims to be Rihanna's godmother. Here is where we got to see just how much the people of Barbados love and cherish Rihanna, just like we do!
The Safari Ride with Breathtaking Views
Writer Ianthia Smith looking out into the beauty of the ocean
Photo c/o Ianthia Smith
On our last full day on the island, we hopped on two separate trucks for a Bajan safari ride at dusk. We got a late start and raced to beat the setting sun. But before the light escaped us, we were able to take in some of the most enchanting views of Barbados. We trucked through these close knit communities passing by mountains, beaches, and the most beautiful smiles, and warmest waves on the way. I had no clue Barbados had as many breathtaking views as it does. Bathsheba, to me, though, was the most beautiful. With large boulders sitting far out in the middle of the ocean and some casually resting on the roadside, the views here were dramatic, but so calming. On the way back, our tour guide Glein let us connect to his Bluetooth for an hour-long Rihanna jam out session. We sang our lungs out to so many of her songs as the winds flung our hair to the skies and the nighttime cool kissed us goodbye...until next time.
This was my first trip to another Caribbean country and I can admit that I've certainly been missing out. But being in Barbados, I enjoyed this strange familiarity and quickly remembered that even if you take the girl off the island and put her on another one, she'll always be at home.
It's all about peace and love on this gorgeous Barbados adventure
Photo by Will Edmond
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Featured image by Will Edmond. Originally published January 15, 2019.
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Ianthia is a freelance Bahamian writer, journalist, TV host and producer and travel and lifestyle blogger with works and features in Essence, Forbes Travel Guide and Sheen Magazine. A TV anchor turned full-time blogger, Ianthia quickly became one of The Bahamas' top influencers; even being awarded the honor at the 2017 Bahamas 40 Under 40 awards. Ianthia's MiniSkirts and Microphones website (www.ianthia-smith.com) is a travel and lifestyle blog for busy millennial women looking for advice and inspiration on how to transition from 9 to 5 to fulltime girl boss while being a woman in the age of social media.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
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THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images