Even if fall isn't your favorite season, I'd be shocked if you didn't agree that it's definitely one of the most romantic times of the year. The temperatures are mild. The scenery is beautiful. And, there are all sorts of autumn-themed activities that are ideal, whether you are considering beginning a new relationship or you've been with someone for several years now. Yeah, there's no doubt that if there's ever a wonderful time to do some old-fashioned dating, fall would be it.
That's why I'm all about encouraging couples to step out of the ho-hum box of checking out a dinner and a movie during this time; especially if it's two people who are about to go on their very first date. Whether a guy has recently asked you out or you're considering asking him (which is totally fine), here are some fall-themed ideas that are sure to make it a time together that neither of you will forget.
10 Fun Fall First Date Ideas
1. Attend a Fall Festival Together
Something that I used to really enjoy doing when I was in high school was attending fall festivals. They're fun, they're affordable and they tend to be pretty educational too. The reason why this is a great first date idea is because, if you're going on a date with someone you don't really know, its in public, the atmosphere is casual and, even if there isn't an immediate love connection, the two of you can still have a good time while you're together.
How do you figure out when and where the fall festivals in your area will be? It's simple. Just go to your favorite search engine and type "fall festivals near me" in the search field. A schedule of upcoming ones should immediately come up.
2. Stroll Through a Maze
Another cool fall-themed date idea is to go through a maze together. You can either stroll through one side-by-side or, you can make a competition out of it by deciding to take different routes to see who will get out of it first. The prize for the winner is they can pick what activity to do next. It's a way to take some of the stress of a first date off, you can figure out how both of you are under pressure and, while you're going through the maze, you can figure out if you're feelin' him without worrying about if he can read your facial expressions or body language (just sayin').
3. Do a Little Bit of Stargazing
OK, this is the kind of first date suggestion for two people who already know one another pretty well, but they are considering taking things up a notch in their relationship. There aren't too many things that are more romantic than pulling out some blankets, bringing along a thermos of hot cocoa, staring up at the stars and talking for hours on end. You can do this at a park (Google "stargazing near me") or even your backyard, if you'd prefer.
4. Watch Some Scary Movies Together
We all know what October 31 is; it's Halloween. I've got a friend who told me that something that he thinks is a hot date is binge-watching scary movies with someone. Between all of the cuddling up close so that you'll feel protected from anything lurking in your closet, I guess I can see the perks (LOL). As a bonus, it's also an opportunity to get educated about a genre where Black people don't always die first. If you don't believe me, check out "The Best Black Horror Movies Rated by Fans" and "The 40 Best Horror Movies Starring Black Actors and Actresses". Then make some sea salt caramel popcorn and mulled wine, dim the lights, and see who has the highest courage meter when it comes to guts and gore.
5. Take a Hot Air Balloon Ride
Heights are terrifying to me, so y'all will have to report back on how this date idea went for you. I still wanted to add it to the list because, whenever I see couples on television do it, I must admit that I quietly envy the experience.
To me, a hot air balloon date is just enough romance while still giving people the comfortable space to feel each other out. Plus, soaring over all of those leaves that are turning colors has got to be pretty close to breathtaking.
I do think it's important to give a financial heads-up. Hot air balloon rides ain't cheap. But if you hop onto a site like Groupon, you might be able to find a deal for somewhere around $125 per person.
6. Hold a Test Taste at a Local Coffee Shop
Another great casual date idea is to meet up at a local coffee shop. I like coffee shops a lot because most of them are fine with you purchasing a drink and just sitting there for hours. One way that you can get to know a little bit more about each other's tastes is to suggest each of you drink the other's 2-3 top favorite hot drinks on the menu. If the energy is going well, you can then ask each other about more favorites like "What's your favorite candy?" or your favorite artist or favorite canceled television show. You can actually get a list of 170 faves to inquire about here.
7. Light a Bonfire
If you like the chill that comes with fall weather at night, create a romantic mood by building a bonfire in your (or his) backyard. It's pretty easy to do (click here). The only other things that you'll need are the ingredients to make some homemade s'mores and you'll be good to go.
8. Go for a Drive. Then a Hike.
Something else that I really like to do during the fall is to drive around on country roads or in neighborhoods that have big houses. The weather is nice, so while you are using up gas, you're not wasting more by needing to turn on the air. And, with the right playlist (like Insecure's; pretty much any season will do), can make for a chill day and great conversation.
It's totally optional, but if you want to, you can follow that up by going on a hike. The crisp air and scenery will make it an even better date; especially if you're an exercise enthusiast.
9. Eat Some Fall-Themed Breakfast Foods—at Night
Cooking with someone is a fun date idea, whether it's the first or the 10th. And since breakfast food is something that most people like (and it's usually not too hard to make), why not have some of it for dinner?
Sweet potato pancakes, pumpkin French toast, apple spice muffins, mushroom omelets, baked apples with oatmeal and raisins, monkey bread, pear smoothies—something that most of these breakfast meals have in common is a key ingredient is a food that is in peak condition during the fall season.
Plus, eating breakfast tends to be cheaper than eating dinner, so it's a delicious option if anyone's budget is a little tighter than usual.
10. Check Out a Cidery
Wine tastings are also a great date. If you want to get real "fall" with it, go to a local cidery instead. Based on the options that are available in your area, some offer tours on how cider is made. Others have picnic tables for you and your date to hang out while listening to live entertainment. It's the kind of date that doesn't come with a ton of bells and whistles but, at the same time, can earn points for stepping a little outside of the box (you can find cideries the same way you can find fall festivals; just but "cidery near me" in the search field of your search engine). Happy fall (dating), y'all!
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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Using the same material from the interior of the Volvo EX90, Hudson crafted a wool-blend car coat and waistbelt that combine the vehicle’s Scandinavian design with his signature tailoring and intention. The exclusive collection launched on October 20, and each piece is made-to-order by Sergio Hudson Collections.
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In October, I traveled to Charleston with a group of journalists to get a firsthand look at Hudson and Volvo’s location. During a fitting, Hudson said his goal is to make “great work that can stand the test of time.”
“People can look back on and say, ‘I remember when Sergio did that collaboration with Volvo,’” he continued. “Thinking about aligning yourself with classic brands that speak to where you want to go. And I think that's what this collaboration kind of means to me and my business.”
Hudson pinpoints his mom as the biggest influence for his designs. This collaboration was no different.
“This particular coat reminded me of the swing coats that my mom used to wear in the early 90s. You know, diva girls in the early 90s had Sandra suits,” he said, referring to Jackée Harry’s character in 227. “My mom wore those and she would have these matching swing coats to go over them. And that's where the initial idea came. This would be around the same time that we had our Volvo. So she would put on her suit, her swing coat, get in that red Volvo, and go to church.”
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With this capsule and beyond, Hudson wants to see more staples rotating in and out of closets this fall. He advises fashionistas to build her closet out with essentials to mix and match that aren’t just stylish but also sustainable.
“It's just those special pieces,” he said. “You can wear the same shirt and pants every day and nobody will notice. But if you have a special boot, a special coat, a special bill, a special bag, that kind of speaks to everything that your style stands about, that is something you should focus on.”
These are the same kind of staple pieces that return to our Pinterest boards and TikTok feeds season after season. Fast fashion has never been Hudson’s aim. “I'm trying to create a special pieces that can stand the test of time,” he said in his warm, Southern accent. “I'm only creating those kind of pieces from here on out.”
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For Hudson, this collaboration is revolutionary. It’s his first time working with a car company and experimenting outside of his wheelhouse in this way.
“This is a Scandinavian brand, and, you know, it's 70 years old. I'm an African-American boy from South Carolina that has had a brand for 10 years. So I think bridging those two worlds and seeing the similarities was the beauty of this project,” he explained.
Though Hudson and his partner and CEO of Sergio Hudson Collections Inga Beckham have made massive strides in just 10 years, Hudson said the industry is far from where he wants to see it when it comes to Black representation. He pointed to how few Black designers were at this year’s Met Gala despite the theme being Black dandyism.
“The fact that I dressed 18 people speaks to how many of us weren't there,” he said. He implored more of industries, fashion and beyond, to collaborate with Black designers often.
“Allow mentorship. Allow funding. Allow great design to shine through,” he implored. “When it comes to being a designer of African descent, when you can't get the funding that your counterparts have, you can't compete. When you get opportunities like doing a collaboration with Volvo, or you get opportunities to be at the Met Gala, that's putting us on the equal playing field, but really the funding behind it is what we need to take it to that desk level.”
Featured image courtesy