DomiNque Perry is undoubtedly a part of the new generation of Black actresses we love to see onscreen. From her current role as Aja in BET’s Diairra From Detroit to her unforgettable role as Tasha in the forever-rewatchable series Insecure, she’s become a culture fave. But what some people may be surprised to know is that she’s also a mom of a peace-loving six-year-old, appropriately named Zen. The Black Jesus actress shared that home life with her daughter is happily calm, and becoming a mother was the God-given addition that helped elevate her life.
When discussing how she sees her future, it’s full of ease. She’s planning for a career where she’s consistently given roles that challenge her as well as producing opportunities while leading a camp for children with autism; her daughter has high-functioning autism. It’s crucial to her to nurture Zen’s unique qualities and protect her natural rawness. “Once she gets older, we’ll tame that a bit, but not too much because I love the fact that she’s honest and says what she wants. Now, I speak up in places where I feel my voice needs to be heard. Life has made me want to speak up for myself.”
Today, DomiNque is working daily to build the life she envisions while keeping her daughter a part of all of her decisions. In this exclusive conversation with xoNecole, she walked us through how motherhood has affected her life and career, how she protects her peace while remaining authentic, and the role self-care plays in her parenting journey.
Photo by Jerome Shaw
Let’s jump right in! How has motherhood changed you?
Motherhood has changed me for the better. Now I know what it’s like to have someone love me unconditionally. I didn’t feel like I had that before. Of course, I had love for my family, but motherhood grants you this deep kind of umbilical cord love that, for me, is unmatched. She’s my best friend, and the way she looks at me makes me feel worthy.
Also, motherhood made me want to be better overall. I work to be healthier, and I make sure to do my wellness check-ups because of her.
I love that because, unfortunately, sometimes, you hear conversations surrounding women neglecting their self-care once they step into motherhood.
Yeah, that can happen, but you have to take care of yourself. A lot of people look at mothers as rundown or sleepy. And, of course, there are times where we’ll be tired, but being her mom makes me want to look and be better – because I have her watching me. I mean, I was tired before I had a child, that’s just life (laughs). You have to keep going.
Speaking of life, let’s get into your work life. Obviously being an actress is a unique career, but many women can relate to having to handle business while balancing mom life. How has motherhood affected your acting career and how you show up in the entertainment world?
As far as acting, it gives me a little bit more insight into deeper feelings that can come with different projects. I haven’t gotten too many roles that are outside of comedy, so I’m looking forward to that. But because I have a child and deal with another side of life, I’m able to go into roles with a different perspective.
But she never changed my grind. While I was pregnant, I was still auditioning. And right after I had her, I was back auditioning a month later. She’s come into audition rooms with me and everything, my daughter is a part of the journey. She hasn’t changed anything – just added to it.
Photo by Jerome Shaw
Another thing, you’ve been transparent and vocal about life and different things you’ve encountered throughout your journey. How do you keep the balance between protecting your peace, yet still keep your authenticity?
I don’t really have a balance with that, and that’s my problem. My mom even tells me in my personal life, I share too much. And sometimes, that’s how you get hurt because people can have a lot of information on you. But personally, I like to hear relatable situations. Because sometimes when we go through bad situations, it can just make us feel alone. So, I try to let people who go through ups and downs see I’ve gone through it, too. I try to maintain a level of secrecy, especially as a woman, but naturally, I’m just very real and raw.
By the way, I love the photoshoots you do together. What are some other feel-good activities you two do together?
Honestly, we have such a simple lifestyle right now because I’m not at the level I want to be in my career. I know later we’ll do a lot of traveling and businesses and everything. But as of right now, we like just being at home. She loves to be in her playroom. We do a lot of park dates. Oh, and we love music and dancing. I love the early 2000s, so her favorite song is "Touch" by Omarion. Because she has autism, she likes the same playlist of songs and that one is always on repeat.
You’re managing so much, it’s inspiring. If you could give one piece of advice to a new mom, what would you say?
I’d say – it’s okay. You’re not a bad mom. Don’t listen to what a lot of people “tell” you to do. Like breastfeeding, my body didn’t create milk, so I was under stress, like maybe I’m not a good mom. But it’s okay. Give yourself some grace. Know that you’re beautiful even if you’re going through postpartum or are stuck with things from childbirth or post-childbirth. It’s okay. Make some time for you. Workout. It’s okay. Whether the father is there or not, whether you’re single or not – give yourself grace. That’s the most important element.
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Feature image by Leon Bennett/Getty Images for BET+
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When they met, Jason had just moved to Atlanta for a new job opportunity, and Elise was living happily in her career and had put dating on the backburner. But luckily, a mutual connection saw something in both of them and thanks to a yoga-themed baby shower and a chance text message, they found their forever. Check out their beautiful How We Met story below.
I’ll start with the easiest question. Can you both tell me a little bit about yourself and your background?
Elise: Sure, my name is Elise. I’m actually from Atlanta, GA – not a transplant. I grew up here and left right after college to pursue my career. Now I’ve been back going on eight years, and I’m in my early 40s.
Jason: And I’m Jason. I’m originally from Racine, Wisconsin. I went to school at Florida A&M University, so I am a rattler. I went back to the Midwest for a period of time, in Indianapolis. Now, I’ve been in the Atlanta area for a little over two and a half years.
Jason and Elise Robinson
Photo by FotosbyFola
Wow, that’s nice because Atlanta gets a bad rap when it comes to relationships. So you have to give us the deets. How did you two find each other?
Elise: So I work in TV and I was on-air for a number of years and then transitioned into being a producer and then a manager. As a producer, I’d always have guests on. And there was a woman who came on frequently named Rosalynn (@Rosalynndaniels, often referred to as The Black Martha Stewart), and we connected instantly. Anyway, she got pregnant right before COVID and invited me to a “modern-day yoga baby shower.” I came to support, but was also just curious about that theme.
I had an amazing time. And when it was over a few of us stuck around and convos got personal. She ended up asking me the infamous ‘Are you dating’ question. When I told her no, she decided to set me up. So I should tell you, in both of my only two serious relationships, I was set up – so I was like no.
But she pointed at her husband, who was folding up chairs, and said that another friend set her up with him. Sometimes, it takes people outside of us to see what we need. A few months later, she reached out and said she had family relocating and thought I’d really like him. So she gave him my number, and I reached out with a text. He responded with a call, and that night, we talked for about 2-3 hours. So that’s how we met. I was a little nervous because me and Rosalynn were starting a friendship, and here I was, talking to her family!
Jason: It was new for me too. Remember, I was new to the area, and I had heard so many “stories” about how people have been done wrong in the dating world. Whether it’s by theft or scamming (laughs). Plus, I had just got a new job and wanted to focus on that. But I did want to be able to date someone in a more personal way and see where it led. I felt like who better than someone who I trust to connect me. Rosalynn knows I’m private, about business life, and my personal life is important to me.
So let’s get into your courtship. What was your first date like?
Elise: We had our first convo on a Monday, and he asked me out the next day. I didn’t have any plans, but I still said no. I was just playing hard to get (laughs). But we were talking every day, and he told me he wanted to take me somewhere I’ve never been. And I’m like, you’re in my city! But he sends me three options, and sure enough, two of the places I hadn’t gone to. So, our first date was October 1, 2021, and somebody was 45 minutes late.
Now Jason, why were you 45 minutes late?
Elise: It was me – in my own city. I just got turned around, and the traffic was horrible. I kept calling him and giving him permission to leave. Full transparency: I probably wouldn’t have waited if the shoe was on the other foot. But this was my first sign of what I now know and love the most about him. It’s his patience. When I got there, I was frazzled and everything, but he was just super calm. It ended up being a great first date.
Jason: I remember just waiting and being concerned for her well-being. Because I know how traffic can be, especially when someone is rushing. I was just scrolling through my phone and looking through the menu. It was cool.
Elise and Jason Robinson
Courtesy
That’s beautiful. Now let’s talk about the “what are we” convo? Did you have one of those and if so, who initiated it and how was it?
Elise: I initiated it. Jason was dating me – and still does. But by this time, we had been on a number of dates. We were on our way to a winery, and we had a bit of a drive. So I decided to state my intention. We were just a few weeks in, but we were spending a lot of time together and we are people of a particular age. So I told him, I know Atlanta can be a Black man’s playground. There’s so many beautiful professional women here. But I’m dating with intention. I don’t want to kick it or hang with a good guy even though he’s not my person. I was done with all of that. So I’m “laying down the law” in my eyes, and he didn’t flinch. He let me finish and basically let me know we were on the same page. He was not trying to sow his royal oats.
Jason: Yeah, I was not trying to be Prince Akeem. But also, it was more so about setting a tone and goal for myself. My mama always told me to set my goals. And having a family was always one of mine. I think the biggest thing of it all, was I felt blessed – in terms of moving for work and meeting Elise, now being married. There’s victories being placed in my life.
I love that you both shared that because sometimes I get feedback on these stories and it seems like sometimes we’re afraid to really voice what we desire, no matter what that looks like.
Elise: Yeah, I think sometimes women feel like they don’t want to put pressure on their partner. But it’s not pressure. Look, Jason and I are based in faith, and what is for us is for us. Being upfront and honest is best – and early makes sense. You don’t have to convince someone to be your person.
Jason: I think her sharing those values resonated with me, and hearing her “lay down the law” was fine because I was there, too. I would say to millennial women, don’t be afraid to tell a mate what you want. You never know what that would lead to. Time is a precious commodity. Elise saying that early on showed me that she values both of our time. It showed her heart, character, and integrity, and I was drawn to that and the mature conversation. In the social media world, we don’t have those pointed conversations face-to-face. I would challenge readers to have those conversations in person, and you would get more from that convo than any post or reel. Because you see body language reactions and have deeper communication.
Yeah, I think sometimes women feel like they don’t want to put pressure on their partner. But it’s not pressure. Look, Jason and I are based in faith, and what is for us is for us. Being upfront and honest is best – and early makes sense. You don’t have to convince someone to be your person.
You both have mentioned time, family, and integrity. I’m curious what other core values do you both share?
Elise: Early on, our faith. Not just do you believe in God. It had to be deeper in that. I needed someone who would lead me, our home, and our family. I didn’t want to be in a push-and-pull relationship about prayer, church, or have conversations about being better people. Also, we discussed finances. That doesn’t just mean going to work. We chatted about ownership and what it looks like for us. How do we support each other individually and together? I know I like having my hands in a few different pots, and I needed someone who was supportive of that and likewise.
Jason: My background is that I was raised in the church. My father is a deacon and my mom is a deaconess. They've been married for 55 years. Faith was very important to me and it was crucial that my wife have that relationship as well.
Elise and Jason Robinson
Photo by FotosbyFola
Can we talk about challenges? Big or small, what are some things you had to grow through together?
Elise: I have never lived with anyone – not a roommate, a sister, friend, boyfriend or anything. Now, I’m in my 40s and I'm living with someone. When you’ve been by yourself for so long that was a challenge for both of us. We weren’t pulling each other's hair out but I’m a bit extreme. Things are color-coded in my closet. For me, working in news is chaotic so I want my home to be peaceful and organized.
Jason: I’m a man, and she’s a woman. That dynamic alone adds a flair to it. She wants things a certain way. She’s a Capricorn. But just in terms of how she wants to keep a home was a big adjustment for me. It took time.
On a smaller level, what are some of the things you disagree about day-to-day?
Elise: Cleanliness and systems. Like, he recycles and I do not. But sometimes I just have to decide if it really needs to be a thing or if I can just take care of it.
Jason: This is where my organization takes over (laughs).
What are your love languages? Do you know?
Elise: Jason’s is an act of service which works because I love cooking for him. It doesn’t feel like a chore to me. I love when I’m out, picking up his favorite juice. The other day I saw he needed t-shirts while folding clothes. So I just like doing small things for him that he doesn’t expect. He’s very much that guy that will ask to help so it doesn’t bother me.
Jason: I’d say Elise is all of them, but physical touch would probably be the biggest one. I had to get used to that. She’s taught me it in a number of ways. I remember we actually talked about love languages, and I sent her this song called “More Than Words” by Extreme. That explained to her how I felt.
Finally, can we end with the proposal? Tell us everything!
Jason: It was at a restaurant. And again, I was trying to find somewhere she hadn’t been. Also, I didn’t want to do it on our anniversary because that would have been too obvious. I contacted one of the restaurant’s staff and decided to change up the dessert menu. Each item was something special to us.
Elise: We go on so many date nights, so I just thought it was a regular night. We had finished eating, and I had to go to the bathroom. They had a nice mirror, girl. So I’m in there taking videos and stuff.
Jason: While she’s in the restroom, I’m getting everything in place with the waitress.
Elise: So as I’m reading the menu, I realize it’s telling our story and he eventually proposed. It was so special; I actually had the menu framed! It was so beautiful and thoughtful.
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Feature image by FotosbyFola
