Turn down the sexy for what?
A woman's body goes through many changes during pregnancy, but does that mean she should cover up more, and reserve her sexy until after she's given birth?
Although Beyoncé remained covered and most about showing her bump throughout her first pregnancy with Blue Ivy, the expecting mom has been showing us more of her sexier side while carrying twins. And of course the Internet trolls and critics have been questioning whether or not it's too much.
Back in her 2014 documentary, Beyoncé opened up about how motherhood and the power behind it has added more to her fierce confidence:
"Just because you become a mother, doesn't mean you lose who you are... I know that finding my sensuality getting back into my body, being proud of growing up -- it was important to me that I expressed that in this music because I know that there are so many women that feel the same thing after they give birth. You can have your child, and you can still have fun, and still be sexy and still have dreams for yourself!"
[Tweet "Just because you become a mother, doesn't mean you lose who you are - Beyonce"]
Even singer Ciara recorded the whole track B.M.F (Bad Mother-F**Ker) boasting about being the baddest after "pushing out a 9 lb, 10 oz. baby!". She too started a huge internet debate with her most recent maternity shoot that involved baby Future and her husband Russell Wilson.
This is all nothing new though, celebrities have been showing off their sexy pregnant side for years! Now that social media is involved, shoots and photos have opened up the debate on what actions are deemed inappropriate for a pregnant woman-- pending the question should women push "pause" on their sexiness while being pregnant? Or is there no such thing and all women are created equal in their sexual being?
Last year, Blac Chyna had not one but TWO nude pregnancy shoots hit the internet which were the cause of a lot of chatter. She wasn't the only one, reality tv star and fashion designer Angela Simmons, who had a little boy, also posed in a sexy pregnancy shoot.
When Coco Austin, wife of rapper and actor Ice-T was pregnant, she flicked it up and showed off her tiny baby bump... and her lady lumps while six-and-a-half months pregnant with their first child. Never one to cower from a thong bikini or full-blown nudity, she showed off her toned belly, while also making sure to get a few flicks of the money shot -- her backside in a g-string.
As far as the skin meter goes, certain celebrities give more than expected. But as stated, many of them aren't too far off from the implied nudity shots that expectant mothers have taken in the past. Chyna's soon to be sisters-in-law Kim and Kourtney Kardashian have bared their bods and bumps for 
everything from magazine covers to social media.
Actresses Nia Long and Tia Mowry-Hardrict have graced the covers and pages of Ebony and People magazine, while nude with wombs, and there was no denying the beauty and glow that came from these gorgeous mothers to be. Not to mention, all of the aforementioned were with child in their later 30's (and even 40s with Nia) which, based on the stigmas and statistics against older women's abilities to conceive, is quite commendable and a feat all its own. So kudos to all the mothers out there, especially those defeating the odds!
In a nutshell, feeling sexy, confident and beautiful should not cease due to pregnancy, and some expecting moms feel their sexiest during this time. Tamera Mowry-Housely once told people magazine:
"I always feel sexier when I'm pregnant, maybe it's a mixture of hormones, but I feel so blessed to be given the opportunity to give birth."
Phenomenal women we are.
Some women have their whole wedding planned out, from the bridal gown and venue to the bridal party and playlist. However, KJ was not one of those people. “I didn’t foresee a wedding in my future,” she reveals. “I was just gonna be the boss chick, rich auntie. I didn’t force love in my life until recently. I never had an idea of what a dream wedding would look like, it was easier for me to elope.”
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
And to many people’s surprise, that was their original plan – until Skyh brought up a valid concern. He was raised by his grandmother and thought she should be at the wedding, and naturally, that led to KJ wanting her grandmother to be there as well – then her mom – and later her sister – and, you’ve gotta invite the besties too, right? From there, the guest list continued to blossom. Much like the updo and pop of color bold red lip, she wore on her special day, which was initially on her Pinterest board as a soft glam look with her hair hanging on her shoulders, KJ is okay with changing her plan if it brings her and her loved ones happiness.
So let’s get into the wedding, which took place in Malibu, CA. The first thing you should know about the celebrity couple is that they’re non-traditional. They know, and they don’t care. So, in true unconventional fashion, they shared the morning of the wedding together.
“I woke up with Skyh, we walked our dog, had black coffee, and said good morning to the people who stayed at the venue with us,” she says.
Now, it was time for hair and makeup. While she was getting glammed up, she had Black-owned McBride Sisters wine and champagne (which ties into The Black Experience theme) on deck with her mom and friends, had her besties help rework her vows, retried on every outfit (sis is very Type-A), took photos, and ended the early-celebration with prayer and meditation. It seems very non-Bridezilla, I said.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company,” she explains. “The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
Things moved quickly, and before she knew it, it was time to line up to walk down the aisle.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company. The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
KJ Smith and her bridal party
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
Since everything started with their grandmothers, the couple wanted to ensure they honored them and planned to keep an element of their wedding traditional. Although we’ve all seen the reception videos and photos online, you may have noticed visuals from the wedding itself are harder to find.
“We planned for it to be traditional, but we’re not like that, so we tried to create those moments. We jumped the broom and had a salt ceremony (where the bride and groom individually pour salt into a glass container, symbolizing their lives becoming one.) But honestly, still, nothing was traditional about it.”
She goes on to explain that her mom caught the holy ghost coming down the aisle, her glam team was on deck, and she became so nervous with excitement that she had an anxiety attack – something she struggled with for years, she explains tearfully. Her friends had to literally cheer her down the aisle because of how overwhelmed she felt until she eventually calmed down.
“Skyh was standing there with his hand on his heart; we have our own little language, and I could feel the support,” she shares.
It was surprising to hear all these emotional moments happened before the party we saw online. That is until she once again got into the backstory.
“As a Black woman actress, for so long, it was popular to be mysterious and secretive, but that’s not who I am or what I like. Plus, we both wanted to create an experience for everyone there. We are the people who always host family and friends,” she says. “Like for me, the first order of business was getting sandals for the women so they can dance all night long. We had oxtail, D'ussé, and a coffee and sativa lounge – which is part of Skyh and I’s lifestyle and routine. We wanted to bring them into our world.”
Skyh Black (L) and KJ Smith (R)
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
She went on to discuss the dance routine she did for her husband at the reception, which has taken over the internet. Apparently, that’s another thing that didn’t go according to plan. According to KJ, she had promised a performance at their joint bachelor/ bachelorette party, but her outfit got stolen from her car. So, Skyh ended up performing for her – complete with a strip tease. Still, she never forgot her promise to dance for him.
So, she hired her friend as a choreographer, learned the routine, made friends and family watch it endless times, and attended Beyoncé’s Renaissance show a few days before for a confidence boost. It ended up being a show to remember. But that wasn’t all the night offered. Lil Mo performed, and the guests received special goody bags featuring their favorite Black-owned products like journals, hair care, and more.
“We made sure everyone was taken care of all night. That kind of stuff makes us happy. I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives,” she says.
But naturally, the internet is going to internet, and while there were countless people praising the event and applauding the newlyweds, some thought it was too over the top. I was curious to know her thoughts on some of the criticism.
“It’s cool. We did what we wanted to do. I’ve decided to share my world with people. Just how I went on social media platforms and found inspiration, I want people to do the same,” she explains. “I don’t think it's fair to my supporters not to give that out. There’s so much I wanna share with brides, specifically Black brides. I love that people are adding it to their Pinterest boards."
"I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives."
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
“I’m happy with it because we did what we wanted to do. They can do what they wanna do. Don’t be cruel, though, because you will get blocked,” she said, laughing.
The more I spoke with her, the more her sense of freedom shined through. People are always going to have their opinions, but at the end of the day, it’s you who has to live your life, and it seems like the couple realizes that and embraces that power. She also stressed the importance of not living for others and the lessons life has taught her.
“I’ve been to countless weddings, and I’ve been in countless weddings. I’m a generally older bride. So when women in my demographic get married, and you and your husband are busy working people like us, you deserve to have the one you want to have,” she shares.
“This is what we wanted to do. Our loved ones love and support us. We did so much to honor them, but we also wanted to start our own tradition, legacy, and creation. I'm not going to be pulled back into ideas of the past when I’m trying to create a future with my partner. “
If you’d like to see more of the couple, you probably won’t have to wait long. Although no content is planned yet, she admits to being an oversharer. “Me being open and transparent about my experiences lets people know it’s okay to have flaws; it makes you human, and for many years, I didn’t believe that was okay. I had pressure to be perfect, and I’d crumble every time,” she explains to xoNecole.
Now, she owns her flaws and uses them as a superpower to connect with her community and feel and express her love.
“Some people give us [Skyh and KJ] a hard time because they say we just seem too perfect. I’m like, why is that a bad thing? I love the people I love. From my man to my mama, to my friends - unabashedly. We move through time and space how we want to move. If we did it another way, we’d let ourselves and our union down.”
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Feature image by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
