

Baby On Board: Does Angela Simmons Pregnancy Really Require An Explanation?
Let me make something clear: you don't owe ANYONE an explanation about your sexuality, values, beliefs or behavior.
If recent conversations on sexual consent have taught us anything, it's that you have the right to change your mind at any time when it comes to what you choose to do with your body, whether you're butt naked underneath Chris Brown and one of his boys or if the only thing filling you is the Holy Spirit during Sunday service. You have to live with your choices and shouldn't feel pressure to have a press conference every time you drop your panties. But when it comes to celebs, the popular belief among the public is that those same rules don’t apply. With that said, I can kind of understand the backlash coming reality star and hip hop heir Angela Simmons’ way after announcing her pregnancy via Instagram on Friday.
Rumors flew that the Foofi and Bella fashion designer was pregnant after she announced she was engaged to a mystery man a few weeks ago. As I scrolled through my Instagram feed I even dropped a comment or two in Angela's defense. Not everyone who seemingly gets engaged out the blue is secretly planning a shot gun wedding. So of course I found myself brushing some Morton crystals off my shoulder when Simmons who has always been very vocal about her virginity announced that she was expecting. Sadly, it almost seemed as if she was forced to make announcement as pictures began to surface on social media of her bare belly exposed while on a run with fiance who has since been revealed as Sutton Sean Tennyson.
Simmons' Instagram pics as of late have been modest especially when compared to past posts where she has never hesitated to show her abs fresh from a workout. Of course when she broke the news, her comments’ section was filled with as much criticism as congratulations:
“I bet its a lot for Rev Run to swallow that not ONE of his three oldest kids are married, but had kids out of wedlock. Its not the worse thing in the world but I know it had to bother him.”“The fact that she was doing them work outs like that is irritating to me lol you ain't got to lie Craig.”
“He's overjoyed because he is set for life now!! Smh. She preached it but did not live by it!”
When two people can come together in a healthy relationship and build a family, that's always something to celebrate, but I must say I'm not completely surprised by the backlash as people criticized the fact that her religious family already includes at least two siblings that have brought children into the world outside of marriage. Fans equally jumped to Simmons’ defense expressing that as a grown woman, she doesn’t own anyone an explanation on her life choices:
“First off... people announce they are pregnant in their own time... There's usually a time frame people wait to make sure it's a viable healthy pregnancy... she owes none of u idiots an explanation... are u gonna fund her baby or hospital bills??? And how many of u b**ches have babies and NO husband??? Let's alllll wait on that”“Was she our black "Madonna"? Another 28 yr old virgin crumbled 🙄🙄🙄 like really people... It's not a scandal!!! Shoot if she's been holding out that long she should be applauded... Girl is financially able... Ready to be a mother obviously!!!”
While I wish her the best, I'm not exactly losing sleep over what fans are speculating might be a "Brandy Norwood" situation where a celeb uses marriage to cover an unplanned pregnancy or what they feel may be a blemish on their moral character. We all have to live with our choices whether they become trending topics or not. However, I do think Simmons' situation offers insight into the idea that celebs are some of the best people to start open honest conversations about sex. If we can applaud the choice to be celibate or celeb virginity announcements, why can't we have those same conversations about consent, contraception and STD testing? I don’t believe celebs should be on the payroll of The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned pregnancy, but if they are going to make such a big deal out of being public about their sexuality, why not use those powers for good? Maybe it's the sex ed geek in me but you might catch me dabbing a time or two when a singer slips a lyric in about grabbing some protection before commencing the back breaking session or seeing one of the Kardashians mentioning the birth control pill they may have missed. There’s a whole gray area between celibacy and the decision to have sex. Angela has repeatedly discussed her moral and religious values in the past, so it’s no surprise that many fans are now wondering, “What happened?”
[Tweet "Celebs love to kick the “I didn’t choose to be a role model” line, but it happens by default."]
I’ve worked as a sex educator for almost seven years. The reason I chose the field is because I felt everything from media to the laws in America send conflicting messages about values in regards to how people behave in their personal lives and what they choose to publicly express about their sexuality. What bothers me most about celebrity pregnancy announcements and the bold statements some choose to make about their personal lives are the stigmas they can perpetuate. As much as celebs love to kick the “I didn’t choose to be a role model” line, the truth is it’s a role that often happens by default. Let’s not act like how you appear to your fans doesn’t matter on some level. It matters when you’re selling albums. It matters when you’re getting ratings for your reality show. It matters when they’re purchasing your sneaker line. But suddenly it doesn’t matter because you’re just living your life and people have opposing opinions? While I feel that celebs shouldn’t have to sign over their private lives in blood to public to maintain their success, I do think they have to be mindful of catching feelings over the push and pull game they play with the public. We probably shouldn’t be basing our personal life decisions on the examples set by celebs or anyone else for that matter, but let’s not delude ourselves by saying celebs have zero influence on public perception and behavior. Making a pregnancy announcement on Instagram isn’t an invitation to be bullied or shamed, however you can’t catch feelings when people express their thoughts on your lifestyle or point out when your values conflict with your behavior. (For the record, Simmons has yet to make a statement on the backlash and whether she is personally offended by it all or not and debates seem to have occurred between fans only at this point).
It's understandable to see why her fans are upset. Simmons made statements about her virgin as recently as this year when appearing on the morning show “The Breakfast Club” and I even recall her making those same claims on her own reality show “Growing Up Hip Hop” which filmed in 2015. Let me be clear once again: Angela is entitled to change her mind. Raise your hand if you hopped back into bed with that trifling ex a time or two after just telling your homegirl you were through with his sorry a** or treated yourself to that Popeye’s $5 box knowing damn well the way your diet is set up, fried chicken isn’t an option. Even if Simmons decided she wanted to have sex, get pregnant and be a wife within a week’s time, like Bobby Brown said: it's her prerogative. Behavior that completely contradicts what we say we stand for is the human condition, but with that we also can’t be offended when people call us out on our hypocrisy. Specifically when it comes to celebs, their platforms grant them a position of power to either perpetuate a stigma or fight against it. I don’t think fans are offended by Simmons’ right to change her mind as much they are her sudden departure from a lifestyle that seemed to endorse celibacy. They’re only making what she chooses to do with her body a big deal, because she once did.
I do question the message that this situation sends to young women who had idolized her as a moral figure that was proud of her virginity, but not as proud of her choice to have sex.
It’s a stigma that unfortunately has plagued women since the beginning of time and probably will continue to do so until we stop placing virginity as some sort of precious prize. I also can’t help but notice that none of the male Simmons siblings seem nearly as pressured to detail their sexual behavior to fans. When I was pregnant almost 2 years ago, I still remember the unnecessary impulse to defend my baby bump when people tried to sneak a glance at my left hand. There was even one incident when a man who worked in my building who never hit me with more than a “Hey, how are you?” took it upon himself to mention, “I hope he put a ring on it.” I even found myself holding my tongue to keep from reciting the rehearsed speech about how I got pregnant AFTER getting engaged because I did things the right way and a whole bunch of BS that he wasn’t entitled to before I stopped myself when realizing it was none of his damn business and that there really wasn’t a “right” way, only the way that worked best for my life. When Simmons made multiple statements about her virginity in the past a part of me wanted to scream that she didn’t owe anyone that explanation whether she was Reverend Run’s daughter or Hugh Hefner’s. Just as some fans feel she doesn’t owe anyone a reason for her choices now, my only argument is that she didn’t owe anyone an explanation about waiting for marriage to have sex either.
If anything, what I think we can all take away from people’s criticisms as well as defenses of Angela Simmons’ personal choices is the need for more open, honest conversations about sex and less normalizing of certain behaviors over others. I honestly think more celebs should pull a Kerry Washington and completely keep their personal lives private if they’re not prepared to for the opinions that follow the Instagram pics they choose to share with the world. Let’s take this as a lesson learned that when it comes to your bedroom, what does (or doesn’t) go down in it is your own damn business, but when your sexual moral code is a selling point it’s only matter of time before people will want receipts.
Writer, sexual health superhero, and #BlackGirlMagic and #BlackBoy curator regularly featured on @Madamenoire. Toya can usually be found in between her earbuds, listening to trap music and refreshing her browser for concert tickets. Tweet her @thetruetsharee.
Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
We waved farewell to summer last week, along with all its highlights. Now we warmly embrace music that encourages us to feel, calm down, and think back on the last enjoyable months and their aftermath. Some of the aftereffects of our summertime delights, like "Lil Boo Thang" and "Guarantee," will make us feel content and that our time was well spent. Other repercussions, like "I Just Wanna Feel Your Love Again" and "No SZNs," are more severe and will leave us contemplating some ill-placed steps while we spiral into deep despair.
Whichever side you find yourself on during this change of seasons, or if you're between, consider adding some of these new singles to your playlist to help mourn what's left of this summertime weather. While also welcoming the possibilities that only autumn's beautiful breeze can create.
1.Doechii - "Pacer"
Oh, Doechii, how we have waited for you at every door and corner for what seems like an eternity; yet we are so grateful that you have finally arrived. Doechii has released another single to further demonstrate her versatility after releasing one of the summer's most popular songs. With "Pacer," Doechii, who stunned us with her vocal range on "What It Is," goes back to her rapping roots. The TDE phenomenon starts the song out completely unhinged. With a blood-curdling scream, similar to fellow TDE artist Jay Rock, Doechii gathers her clique to prepare for battle, as though she had just returned from a fierce altercation.
However, instead of amassing casualties upon those who doubted her, Doechii plans to render them inept under the weight of her accomplishments and accolades. She acknowledges that she has arrived at her success later than she had hoped, but says she is on "God's time," and that while reaching her level of achievement later than others, she has done it regardless and with enough assurance to intend to remain for a while.
2."No Statements" - ScarLip
No matter what rap music you play these days, there is always a critic waiting to proclaim that rap and hip-hop are dying. Although part of what they say is true, they haven't yet detected the faint pulse that keeps the business alive. If the naysayers would quiet down long enough to hear that fading pulse, it would be the sound of female rappers smashing through locked doors in an attempt to reclaim its strong and steady beat. One of those rappers, besides Doechii, is ScarLip.
ScarLip, who is 22 years old, fresh off the success of her 2022 "Glizzy Gobbler," has dropped her newest single "No Statements." The rapper says in "No Statements" that she is not in the business of snitching, making statements, or leaving a paper trail of her wrongdoings, but rather needs to be fully aware of the circumstances so she may proceed with her decisions. It would be difficult to not hear people humming this song for weeks to come, because of the catchy chorus and straightforward lyricism. Maybe after this, critics can follow her lead and refrain from making detrimental statements.
3."How Were We To Know" - Emeli Sandé
How were we to know? We ponder this question after a relationship has ended and everything has been put out on the floor to be either picked up and rebuilt or swept away and abandoned. How were we to tell if the connection would burn to the ground or vanish into thin air? How could we have known that the person we intended to spend forever with would be gone the next day? How were we to recognize all the signs when they were arranged randomly and incomprehensibly? In this query, we pardon ourselves for not being omniscient. We accept responsibility for failing to recognize the apparent facts that were put in front of us.
Emelie Sandé asks the same questions in her most recent song, "How Were We To Know." She ponders how she might have known that the relationship was doomed. But as the song goes on, it becomes obvious that she, just like the rest of us, could have easily figured it out if we had communicated better, assigned blame less frequently, and set aside our egos.
4."Angel" - Halle (Acoustic Performance)
At the beginning of August, Halle Bailey released "Angel," her debut single as a solo performer. In less than a few hours, the piano-driven ballad that explored what it is like to be a Black woman growing up in this tiresome, neglectful environment captured millions of listeners and became an anthem for all sun-kissed girls. With beautiful lyricism that acknowledges the weight unfairly burdened upon Black women, Halle reminds audiences that they are in fact angelic, despite the demons that appear out of the woodwork to tell us otherwise.
When one falls, they fall "onto clouds" and find a way to make their way through the limitless struggles bestowed by simply existing. After all, as I said before, black women are the only things to ever grow without nourishment. As if the song couldn't be lovelier than the original rendition, Halle debuted an acoustic version of the smash a couple of weeks ago to demonstrate just how genuinely heavenly she is.
5."No SZNS" - Jean Dawson and SZA
Every day is like the day before. The sun rises in the east and sets in the west, and everything beautiful and dismal that can happen occurs in between. The seasons bring a certain ambiance that allows for differentiation between the past and the present, but only if you're in a place where it matters, and the changing of seasons can be felt. If not, then every day is every day. In "NO SZNS," by Jean Dawson and SZA, this simple fact is mentioned repeatedly in the chorus; but the reality of every day being the same creates an unshakeable melancholy that can only be felt through their lilting vocals and sometimes abrupt instrumentals.
They appear to be pleading for some other truth, because they find it difficult to accept that each day will be the same as the last, and that, despite the passing of time and the changing of the seasons, we are doomed to repeat the at times idyllic, terrifying cycle.
6."Black Dress" - 070 Shake
It's unfortunate that not as many people tune in to 070 Shake as frequently as they ought to. Despite becoming popular with her song "SCAR" on Beyoncé's The Lion King: The Gift, many people are still unaware of how good she is as an artist. The unclassifiable New Jersey musician, whose music is tough to define, has released "Black Dress," in preparation for her second album, You Can't Kill Me. The brand-new 070 Shake track "Black Dress" is a sensation with a haunting feel.
The song has strong, churning guitars, hazy synthesizers, and trap 808s that help to create an eerie and encapsulating, daunting melody. Shake plays the sole survivor of an aircraft accident in the popular song's music video, which was shot by Noah Lee. She is originally stranded in a tree with her parachute before descending to the burning wreckage below. When she finally touches the ground, she performs a song deserving of the fame she will one day enjoy.
7."You" - Lola Brooke ft. Bryson Tiller
What's that I hear around the way? Oh, another female rapper here to save the day? With the help of Bryson Tiller, Lola Brooke's newest song, "You," aims to kick off this cuffing season in the 90s. The rapper, who is relatively new to the hip-hop scene and who recently released the single "Don't Play With It," samples Foxxy Brown's popular song "Get Me Home" on this nearly three-minute tune.
In time for the fall, Brooke and Tiller's powerful voices and sensuous vocals have created the ideal song to dance to while searching for love. In her lyrics, the 29-year-old displays both her Brooklyn heritage and the characteristics ideal in a potential suitor. By the end of the song, it is clear that Brooke plans to move through this cuffing season with intention and refuses to settle for anything less than what she deserves.
8."Guarantee" - Black Eyed Peas
No matter how far into the future we are, you can always depend on the Black Eyed Peas to come from a more vibrant, lively, and distant time period than our own. The trio speaks about having what other people need in their newest song, "Guarantee," off of their 2022 album ELEVATION. In this single, they assert that they can elevate all that is freely provided to them, leading to greater love, knowledge, and total pleasure.
Promising endless satisfaction, they show what is guaranteed if only given the opportunity. With a fun summer mix and poppy, futuristic beat, "Guarantee" is one of the dance songs the endless heat has to give.
9."Lil Boo Thang" - Paul Russell
It is almost ridiculous how often this song has been played throughout the summer, to not have made it in time to be a summer hit. But with only the first 30 seconds available to audiences via TikTok, it had no other choice but to be a glimmer of what it could have been. Nevertheless, now that Paul Russell's "Lil Boo Thang" has been made available, it includes a much lengthier version of the endearing summer song about liking someone enough to be open and honest about one's intentions.
In this short song, he sings of all the potential and affection he can bring to the relationship if only given the chance. Concluding with a nice homage to The Emotions' "Best of My Love," "Lil Boo Thang" might be able to reclaim the love it was unable to receive in the summer this fall.
10."I Just Wanna Feel Your Love Again." - Montell Fish
If Kevin Abstract, Leon Bridges, and Moses Sumney had a baby, I'd imagine it'd be this Montell Fish single. In "I Just Wanna Feel Your Love Again." Fish laments the end of his relationship and the unrestricted love that came with its demise in this song. Without her affection, the need and want to be with her consumes his weekends and moments, but he is always left pleading and alone.
To make matters worse, he is compelled to navigate the world knowing how wonderful it is to experience everlasting love and realizing that he is unlikely to come close to doing so again. As he sings over a guitar and echoing backing vocals, the song has a loneliness that cannot be placed into words. Ultimately, his longing to once again experience his love's devotion feels almost unearthly and forever out of reach.
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