Why You'll Never See Kerry Washington's Kid(s) Or Relationship Status On Social Media
You want to know what I’ve learned about being a blogger on the Internet? Keep your relationship to yourself. That whole “less is more” approach? It’s true.
It’s no secret that we’re in an age of all things oversharing and social media. We share our style choices on Snapchat and our “private” dates on Instagram. We allow people that we’ve never met, yet call “friends,” into our lives daily through our words on Facebook. We’re constantly giving to others in some form on Twitter through the conversations we have with anyone who can relate to us via retweets. But what do we keep for ourselves? What do we hold sacred and is privacy valued?
As a creative, my means of an outlet is found in writing, helping me with acceptance of a situation and healing through words. A few years ago, I shared personal stories of the status of my relationship and while the intent was never for a mass following for my platform, my readership grew because of the shift in content. People found a connection to the words, but did I also give others an opportunity to connect their thoughts to my experiences?
In retrospect, I gave readers work they, too, could relate to and others, a source of entertainment, a chance to offer unwarranted insight, and a sense of entitlement. Once I stopped writing about the events happening behind closed doors, I received emails on what happened thereafter, the status of my partner and I, and inquiries on advice I had no answers to. I gave the world a way in and people felt comfort in staying in my business–a door I ultimately opened myself. I had to live with the decision to expose a troubling point in my relationship, although I could always delete the words as if it never happened. I kept the posts up, but for a while, I had a hard time coming to terms with finding closure in my words and people having access to reopen wounds at their convenience.
So, it’s no surprise to me that more people are finding a need to not fall into the hype of documenting every moment for the world to witness. Not only does disclosing it for a myriad of reasons, but the underlying message is one of “keeping something for yourself,” a sort of rare doing for millennials. Kerry Washington is no stranger to living a life of privacy despite being the star of one of modern-day television’s biggest primetime shows. Her two-and-a-half-year marriage came as a surprise when her marriage certificate was obtained by E! News in a hush-hush ceremony after only a year of dating her husband, Nnamdi Asomugha.
Before their first anniversary, Kerry welcomed baby Isabelle, the couple’s first child together (the birth certificate was obtained by TMZ) and the second child at the end of 2016. Instead of releasing photos to People magazine for a slot on the first cover and a hefty check on the side, the actress has yet to show children to the world.
Related: Kerry Washington: ‘I Didn’t Grow Up Thinking I Was Pretty’
The root of Washington’s desire to separate her private life from her professional one stems from a 2013 interview with Glamour where the star pinpoints the exact moment she deviated from the norm of opening up about her relationship.
Glamour: “OK, so relationships. In interview after interview, you always use the same phrase: ‘I don’t talk about my personal life.’ I’m curious about the discipline that it requires to be so tight-lipped.”KW: “I learned through experience that it doesn’t work for me to talk about my personal life. I’ve had earlier times in my career when I did talk about it. I was on the cover of a bridal magazine [InStyle Weddings, in 2005, when Washington was engaged to actor David Moscow]. But I couldn’t just turn around and say, “I only want to talk about the good stuff, but not the bad stuff.” So I just thought, OK, no more.”
Glamour: “You even managed to get married in June without anyone knowing.”
KW: “Absolutely! I’m walking around in the world with my ring. And when people say congratulations, I say thank you. But I’m going to continue to not talk about it and just let it unfold.”
Glamour: “It must have been satisfying to pull off a wedding with no press around.”
KW: [Laughs.] “I don’t want to sound smug about it…but the point is to do what’s best for me. I have girlfriends in this business who talk about their personal lives, and it works for them, and I love it. But not for me.”
Maybe it’s a fear of failure in the public eye or maybe it’s not wanting your child to grow up reading salacious headlines in tabloids on affairs that should have never left the four corners of your home. Either way, Washington’s personal decision to let the masses play the guessing game on her union to Asomugha is the epitome of mastering the art of discretion for all of the right reasons. She is barely photographed with him.
Read: Don’t Share Your ‘New Bae’ with Social Media for 180 Days
At an SXSW appearance earlier this year, Kerry sort of addressed the year-long rumor that her marriage is on the rocks by reiterating her stance on keeping mum.
“I think—and this is something Reese Witherspoon has talked about a lot—it’s a little different for me because I don’t talk about my personal life. Social media has actually been great for [other celebrities’] relationships with the weeklies or the gossip sites because people say things and they say, ‘That’s not true! Just so you know, that’s BS!’...So I’m thinking in some ways, it’s been great because people are able to maintain their voice. If I don’t talk about my personal life, it means I don't talk about my personal life. That means not only did I not tell you when I was getting married, it also means if somebody has rumors about what's going on in my marriage, I don’t refute them, because I don't talk about my personal life.”
It’s a lesson learned for anyone who has joined the wave of oversharing in today’s world, but that’s not to say that the desire to upload a photo or two doesn’t create a huge pressure for celebrities in particular who feel permitted to share with the very people that support their work, eventually sharing the intimate portions of their everyday lives–hey, Beyoncé. Bey was always known as a mysterious force in the entertainment biz once she began her relationship with Jay-Z and the addition of Blue Ivy heightened the media’s need to get the inside scoop on Beyoncé’s life.
Hearing Baby Blue for the first time on “Glory” and seeing her on the singer’s Tumblr page (where the Carters shared the message, “We welcome to share in our joy. Thank you for respecting our privacy during this beautiful time in our lives.”) introduced us to a never-seen-before Bey. Fortunately for fans, the world has watched Blue grow up through personal photography shared by her mother and auntie on social media. But while sharing her greatest accomplishment with a harsh world has introduced us to Beyoncé shedding more layers and exposing who she is outside of the performance realm, some mothers like Kerry Washington find a hard time allowing the world into that private part of their lives.
Related: Are Celebrity Children Safe From Cyber Bullying?
On that same panel discussion for SXSW, Mrs. Washington tackled the importance of her child being able to make decisions of her own and I had to agree with her perspective behind her why.
“It’s like I have these itchy fingers where I want to just show my daughter because she’s so cute and instead I like, send it to my shrink or send it to my mother. I’m like, ‘Look at this picture! Look how cute, look at this picture!’ Get it out of my phone into the world, but not on social. So I get the desire to do that, but I want her to make her own decisions in her time and I feel like she already has a lot to navigate in life being the daughter of an actor and a former football player that she has a lot going on, so she should be able to enter this world when it feels right for her and not make that decision for her. Who knows that the next generation of Snapchat will be when she’s allowed to have a phone, you know? Who knows?”
As a parent, I can appreciate KW’s decision to hold out on showing off her daughter and passing that power off in Isabelle’s hands. How many of us are making decisions for ourselves and not for others who will, in turn, feel obliged in weighing in on the intricate and intimate moments of our lives?
Whether you’re a personal blogger like myself, an average Joe and Jane simply uploading random snapshots of your life online, or a celebrity seeking to prove a normal life like the rest of us, the truth is there is always room for judgment when divvying parts of your life up for an audience. Everyone’s a critic and sometimes allowing the unknown in causes us to feel like something’s bound to go wrong at some point. Truth be told, some people are actually banking on it.
Just keep your business out of it.
The Mecca Of Fashion: The Top Street Style Moments At Howard Homecoming
Outfits were planned, bags were packed, and cameras were ready to capture Howard University's collegiate spirit during its centennial Homecoming celebration. Not only does it hold the number one ranking as the most elite Historically Black College and University or its top performing academics, diversity of students and alumni, but the HBCU also leaves a legacy of style and grace.
The essence of effortless poise and refinement shines bright through the iconic university colors of indigo blue, red, and white. Every October, Howard University students, alumni, staff, and friends gather on the prestigious campus in Washington, D.C. to take part in time-honored traditions and events, which is Homecoming. This year's theme, “The Meccaverse,” was a week-long celebration of Howard University’s heritage, including the Homecoming football game and Bison Pep Rally, the Fashion Show, Greek Life Step Show, Homecoming Day of Service, Lavender Reception, and the iconic Yard Fest Concert.
As 2024 marked the 100th anniversary of the Howard Bison trek back to The Mecca and after two years of virtual events due to the COVID-19 pandemic, this was to be a celebration of a lifetime. We enlisted HU alumnus Sharmaine Harris, a luxury retail buyer, as she revisited her alma mater as eyes on the yard for fashion-forward outfits mixed with personal style and campus pride for the weeklong celebration.
Before we get to the looks, discover how attending Howard University impacted her career in fashion and her day-to-day style:
Credit: Sharmaine and Friends
xoNecole: Describe your personal style. Did attending Howard have any impact on developing it?
Sharmaine: Howard taught me that there’s no such thing as being TOO dressed. There’s always a reason to “put it on” and look presentable, even if it’s just for a day of classes. Standing out was celebrated and encouraged with my peers embracing the opportunity, giving me the confidence to try new styles and trends.
xoNecole: How did Howard shape your career as a luxury buyer?
Sharmaine: I studied Fashion Merchandising, through which I was fortunate to have professors who were very connected to the industry and able to give first-hand accounts of opportunities and what to expect post-college. I was also able to build a network through my peers and other Howard Alum, which has opened doors to endless possibilities both within fashion as well as daily life.
The same confidence instilled in me through my style has also been rooted deeply within me as I step into any role or project I’m faced with throughout my career.
xoNecole: This year marked Howard’s 100th-anniversary Homecoming celebration. Can you describe what the weekend looked and felt like?
Sharmaine: I’ve gone to many Howard Homecomings since graduating, but this year’s 100th anniversary felt like a huge family reunion filled with nothing but love. It was beautiful to see so many Bison return home looking great and radiating joy. It was beautiful!
xoNecole: What makes Howard fashion different from other HBCUs?
Sharmaine: Being that Howard is The Mecca, we have such a diverse population with each individual having their own spin on fashion. Getting dressed is second nature for us, but the layered confidence is our secret ingredient to make any look come together. Through that comfortability to push barriers, we have a legacy of setting trends, as indicated by the many alumni we have in the fashion and entertainment industry.
Keep scrolling for the top street style moments from The Mecca's Homecoming weekend:
Credit: Lacey Gallagher
Credit: Alan Henderson
Credit: JaLynn Davis
Credit: Dylan Davis
Credit: Caleb Smith
Credit: Kendall W.
Credit: Jordyn Finney
Credit: Vanessa Nneoma
Credit: Dr. Mariah Sankey-Thomas
Credit: Caleb MacBruce
Credit: Tiffany Battle
Credit: Teniola
Credit: Ilahi Creary
Credit: Nicolas Ryan Grant
Credit: Dylan Davis
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image courtesy of Sharmaine Harris
Have you ever seen a movie that captures the nuances and complexities of Black love in such an authentic and captivating manner that you immediately feel compelled to add it to your favorites list? Witnessing the portrayal of our culture in a way that authentically represents our experiences on the big screen creates a sense of warmth and resonance deep within me.
As we cozy up in our pajamas and spend more time on the sofa, we can’t help but think about the go-to classics that get the job done every time. Like the way Darius looked at Nina or the way Sidney looked out for Dre, the Black love stories just feel good for the soul.
Keep reading for our top films that offer unique takes on love, culture, and connection, reflecting diverse Black experiences across time, place, and circumstance.
1.Love & Basketball (2000)
This classic tells the story of childhood friends and basketball enthusiasts Monica and Quincy, whose relationship evolves into romance as they pursue professional sports careers. Their journey reflects the highs and lows of balancing love with ambition. It’s a film that resonates with anyone who’s ever had to choose between passion and love. It’s low-key every millennial Black girl’s favorite movie.
2.Brown Sugar (2002)
Sidney and Dre share a deep-rooted love for hip-hop and each other, but neither realizes it until life's twists pull them apart. This heartfelt movie explores how passion for music can intertwine with matters of the heart. The chemistry between Sanaa Lathan and Taye Diggs is magnetic, adding a playful yet poignant layer to the story. As a writer and lover of music, I just connected with this film on so many levels.
3.The Best Man (1999)
In this romantic dramedy, a group of college friends reunites for a wedding, only to have secrets from the past unravel among them. The dynamics are both humorous and heartfelt, exploring themes of love, loyalty, and forgiveness. This film set the stage for the iconic sequel, The Best Man Holiday and The Best Man: Final Chapters. The way this friend group showed up for each other in all the ways always is why we stan The Best Man.
4.Poetic Justice (1993)
Chewing Gum Flirt GIF by Janet JacksonGiphyStarring Janet Jackson and Tupac Shakur, this road-trip romance follows Justice, a poet grieving her lost love, as she slowly opens her heart again. Set against a gritty South Central L.A. backdrop, the film is a beautiful blend of resilience, vulnerability, and romance. Maya Angelou’s poetry adds a soulful touch. To this day, the pair serves as a perfect couple’s costume.
5.Love Jones (1997)
“I'm the blues in your left thigh... trying to become the funk in your right.” In this cult favorite, Darius and Nina’s relationship unfolds in the heart of Chicago’s spoken-word scene. Their on-and-off romance explores themes of love, trust, and vulnerability in an artistically vibrant way. With its soulful soundtrack and poetic dialogue, Love Jones remains a touchstone for Black romantic cinema.
6.Think Like a Man (2012)
Based on Steve Harvey’s book, this ensemble comedy follows four couples whose love lives get upended when the women try to outsmart the men using Harvey's dating advice. The film’s witty dialogue and relatable characters make it a fun exploration of modern relationships. Its star-studded cast, featuring stars like Michael Ealy, Kevin Hart, and Taraji P. Henson, is a highlight.
7.Boomerang (1992)
This rom-com stars Eddie Murphy as a suave ad exec whose womanizing ways are challenged when he meets his match in Robin Givens. The film playfully addresses gender roles, power dynamics, and true love. With an iconic soundtrack and supporting roles by Halle Berry and Martin Lawrence, it’s a must-watch. This is one of the only films that had me like, “Damn, Eddie Murphy was actually fine!?”
8.Beyond the Lights (2014)
Pop star Noni and police officer Kaz come from two very different worlds but connect over their search for identity and purpose. This movie dives into the pressures of fame, mental health, and self-worth, set against a beautifully shot romance. Gugu Mbatha-Raw’s performance as Noni is utterly captivating.
9.Just Wright (2010)
Queen Latifah stars as a physical therapist who falls for her NBA client (Common), only to realize he's infatuated with her friend. This charming movie combines themes of self-confidence, unrequited love, and second chances. It’s a feel-good story with a refreshing message about inner beauty.
10.Jason's Lyric (1994)
Set in Houston, this intense love story between Jason and Lyric offers a poetic take on love amidst the trauma and violence of their pasts. It’s a powerful tale of hope and healing, underscored by a fantastic soundtrack. Jada Pinkett Smith and Allen Payne bring raw emotion to their roles.
11.The Photograph (2020)
Mae, a museum curator, unravels her mother's love story while grappling with her feelings for journalist Michael. This movie elegantly contrasts generational love stories, exploring how family history impacts our romantic choices. With Issa Rae and LaKeith Stanfield, it’s an intimate, visually stunning journey.
12.Waiting to Exhale (1995)
Four friends navigate love, heartbreak, and betrayal in this classic adaptation of Terry McMillan's novel. The movie, starring Angela Bassett and Whitney Houston, resonates with audiences for its honest depiction of complex relationships. It’s a celebration of friendship and resilience amid romantic ups and downs.
13.Sylvie’s Love (2020)
Set in 1950s Harlem, this visually lush romance follows Sylvie and Robert, who connect over a love of jazz but face challenges due to societal pressures. Their love story captures the nostalgic elegance of old Hollywood cinema while addressing race and ambition. Tessa Thompson and Nnamdi Asomugha deliver memorable performances.
14.How Stella Got Her Groove Back (1998)
Stella, a successful businesswoman, finds romance with a younger man while on vacation in Jamaica, rediscovering herself in the process. This film is a lighthearted yet empowering take on self-love and embracing change. Angela Bassett’s chemistry with Taye Diggs makes it unforgettable.
15.The Wood (1999)
This nostalgic film weaves between the past and present as three childhood friends reflect on their lives and loves before one of them gets married. Set in Inglewood, California, it’s a heartwarming story about friendship, first love, and coming of age. With plenty of humor and sentiment, it’s relatable and timeless.
16.Two Can Play That Game (2001)
Vivica A. Fox stars as a confident woman who devises a plan to keep her boyfriend (Morris Chestnut) in check, but her scheme quickly backfires. This film humorously explores gender dynamics and dating games, with clever insights into relationships. It’s a playful reminder that love doesn’t follow a script.
17.Moonlight (2016)
This Oscar-winning film follows Chiron's journey of self-discovery and his struggle to understand his sexuality and identity. Though not a traditional romance, Moonlight deeply explores love, identity, and acceptance in powerful, poetic ways. It’s visually and emotionally stunning, resonating with audiences worldwide.
18.Something New (2006)
This romantic comedy explores love across racial boundaries, as high-powered Black lawyer Kenya finds herself unexpectedly falling for her white gardener. It’s a thoughtful exploration of love, race, and societal expectations. Sanaa Lathan and Simon Baker’s chemistry makes it both charming and impactful.
19.Deliver Us from Eva (2003)
Eva’s controlling nature makes her sisters’ boyfriends hire a man to distract her, only for him to fall in love with her. This rom-com is full of humor and charm, exploring love’s unpredictability. Gabrielle Union shines as the headstrong, no-nonsense Eva, with LL Cool J adding warmth as her love interest.
20.Hitch (2005)
Hitch, a film starring Will Smith, portrays Black men as romantic partners, challenging stereotypes. It explores interracial relationships and contributes to a diverse representation of Black love in mainstream cinema. It’s one of those movies you can watch over and over because it’s hilarious and authentic. The storytelling is just too good.
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Featured image Waiting to Exhale/Gif