Breastfeeding Bride Speaks Out On How Society Sexualizes Breasts But Shuns Public Breastfeeding
Sometimes you have to take care of business, even when you don't want to. No one knows this better than a breastfeeding mother.
When their babies are hungry, breastfeeding moms have been known to feed her chid in the middle of graduation ceremonies, while shopping for groceries, and in Brandi Hargette's case, as you're getting your makeup done before your wedding ceremony.
The 26-year-old recently married her husband, Chris Francis (27) in Maryland on Jan. 9. While she was getting dolled up for her special day, her one-year-old baby, Zora, got hungry, and of course Brandi had to take care of business. The result? An extremely beautiful moment between mother and child that was captured on camera.
Brandi told the Huffington Post that "breastfeeding her baby girl, Zora, while getting her makeup done on her wedding day encapsulated the perfect combination of self-care and motherhood." She feels that it was important that her daughter be part of their ceremony, whether she was breastfeeding, or even to just cry. She had this to say about the heartfelt photo,
"Zora’s a part of us... wasn't worried about her messing up the moment."
For many new mothers, breastfeeding during a special moment can feel confusing. Many people find pushback from others when they do something as natural as use their breasts for feeding their child. But not Brandi. Xonecole.com caught up with the loc'd beauty, and she told us that she's way more carefree about breastfeeding, and it's part of how she liberates herself was a woman.
"I'm not operating in fearlessness, I am intentional about being brave. I'd say that liberation is a daily practice. Not necessarily something I came to and then acted on."
Brandi is very brave, and loves to share her bravery on her social media accounts. She has words of vulnerability sprinkled across her Instagram photos as captions that highlight who she is–a mother that will breastfeed openly in Nike stores; a woman that brazenly discuss her body post-baby, and someone who isn't afraid to address the challenges of both woman-and motherhood.
This is probably why her wedding photo is being met with such warm reception. In the past, the young mother has shared photos of herself breastfeeding her child on Instagram with the hashtag #NormalizeBreastfeeding. Even though breastfeeding is natural, Brandi finds it interesting that people are taken aback by such a natural act. She tells xoNecole:
In all sincerity, the fact that questions like this still need to be answered is exactly why I chose to share it. It wasn't a matter of necessity as much as it was a matter of sharing an everyday experience. With all the foolishness that is consistently shared on social platforms without so much as the blink of an eye happening in response, my child eating should be no more eye raising or controversial.
On a more soapbox'y note, the way society sexualizes the female body in parts but refuses to praise it as a whole for what it is literally created to do is beyond me. My body is capable of not just creating life BUT sustaining it. Instead of being amazed by how miraculous that is, folks want to focus on a boob that's not being displayed for their perverted pleasures. I reject that entirely.
But just because Brandi is more carefree about breastfeeding doesn't mean that she hasn't felt the sting of stares from people who disapprove of her breastfeeding in public. Fortunately, her husband has supported her, and is a champion for breastfeeding, and he hopes that society will be more accepting of women who have to breastfeed in public. Via Huff Post:
"I guess because the way society has conditioned our minds -- the same applies to breastfeeding as it does with other things...I want people to be more open to the fact that this is natural."
Brandi advises breastfeeding mothers to talk honest and openly with their partners about breastfeeding, and to tell their partnesr how exactly they can help assist them with safely breastfeeding in public.
If you're in a relationship, I'd also say be really intentional about the conversations you all have to set the boundaries for your experience. Conversations with Chris made it clear that I needed his support but also his protection in a sense, should something go wrong. I have friends who have had hostile confrontations with people for nursing in public. We both know that I'm the more confrontational person between us two, but should someone confront me (which has thankfully, never occurred), it's important that I not be that "crazy mom" without having his backing. His presence and passion about my being able to nurse publicly needs to match my own.
In the meantime, Brandi reveals that her carefree attitude toward life is something she hopes will be a characteristic that her daughter adopts as she grows older. Huffington Post reported:
[Brandi] wants Zora to live and make decisions "consciously" throughout her life but to also enjoy being a "carefree black girl" -- despite living in a society where black lives are still marginalized.
"I feel carefreeness in itself is a revolution," Chantalle said.
As Zora grows into a big girl who is learning to potty train and wean, Brandi looks forward to the day Zora learns to soothe herself. But like any mom, she's going to miss the precious bonding time she had with Zora. Looking down into her eyes, she gets to see her beautiful daughter's smile as she's satisfied by the sweet nectar of her mother's milk. What mother wouldn't miss that?
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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ItGirl In Motion: Paige Shari Addison Shows Us Why She's The Hostess With The Mostess
Paige Shari Addison is the epitome of an ItGirl, which is why she is one of 100 ladies on xoNecole's inaugural ItGirl 100 list in partnership with Hyundai. Hailing from Atlanta, Georgia, Paige started her journey as a host in high school by hosting parties. Since then, she has made a career in hosting, from parties to big-name events, and she launched Strictly RNB, a platform for new artists and R&B lovers. Paige reflects on her creative path in the limited video series "ItGirl in Motion."
“My first curated event at Criminal Records was incredible. It was all for up-and-coming artists,” she says. “I needed a platform for us as a collective to be able to give ourselves the platform instead of asking for it, instead of looking for it. I was like, I want to make sure I let people get this experience that I would give as a performer but enjoy the experience with them. It was a dream come true.”
The Atlanta native also has her own line of acai bowls called Soulfull Bowls. She started it during the pandemic after events and parties shut down. But it was her love for eating acai bowls and the reactions others had to them that made her want to make it her next business move. Being open to creating new ventures in the midst of uncertainty is a bold move and one of the reasons why Paige has the “it” factor.
“Being an ItGirl means you’re just authentic. There’s an air to us. We have confidence that exudes from the way we speak, the way we put our lip gloss on, the way we walk, the way we talk. I show up as myself everytime I walk into a room. I’m hospitable, I make sure everybody’s good,” she says.
Get to know more about the hostess with the mostess in the video above.
See our ItGirl 100 list in full here. Click through the gallery below for some BTS moments of Paige and our partnership with Hyundai.
Director: Mikkoh @mikkoh
Production company: @polly___studio
Producer/AD: Samuel Cho @choboi90
Producer/Tech: Paul Nguyen @paul__winn
DP: Cristian Bernal @cristianbernal
Editor: @30inthemorning
2nd Cam: Paul Nguyen
1st AC: AJ Paug @ajpaug Gaffer: Dennis Albert @dennisalbert_
Audio Mixer: Victor Chavez @vic_the__
PA: Rick Carreno @ispeakrick
PA: Tiffany Do @tivani.doee
BTS Photo: Prime @theartofprime
Car Detail: @sud_studs @slugglobal
Creative Director @hellobosco
Team Lead @kevgumbo3000
Project Manager @zakk_jullot
Creative Producer @iamkingsheyla
Designers @miacolemxn @noelspiva
@xoNecole
Director, Integrated Marketing @_vang
Campaign Manager @kingchachiii
Talent Lead @kaylawalker
Feature image by Prime/ @theartof prime