Chlöe Bailey is the epitome of unbothered after the actress addressed the massive backlash she received on social media for her infamous sex scene with co-star Damson Idris on Amazon Prime's Swarm.
In the hit limited series about how a fan's obsession with her favorite pop star drives her to kill, the 24-year-old played Marissa, Idris' love interest. Although Bailey's role in the show was brief, the "Have Mercy" vocalist seemed to get viewers all flustered when a scene from the first episode, which showcased her and Idris being intimate, went viral.
The reason behind the scrutiny stemmed from many people placing judgment on Bailey, who many tend to forget is a grown woman, for oversexualizing herself online by posting provocative photos and videos.
Chloe Bailey Talks Swarm Sex Scene
In a recent interview with Big Boy TV, Bailey opened up about the uproar surrounding the sex scene and how her male counterpart didn't receive any flack for it.
During the discussion, host Big Boy tried to understand all the commotion in Bailey's scene, which only showed a reflection of her nude body in the mirror, by saying he watched the show's clip at least three times to figure out what was wrong. The Grown-ish star shared that the only reason people were upset about that scene was not due to Swarm's plot but because it was her portraying the character.
"I'm an actress, you know, and I feel like it's about art. When I first received the script, I was just like (gasp). It was just insane and gorgeous. I think people are actually forgetting the plot of that scene,” Bailey said. “It's not about seeing me in the mirror of that scene, but because I think it's me doing it, that's what blows it out of proportion. But I'm barely seen for two seconds in that."
Chlöe Bailey comments on if Damson Idris received any backlash from 'Swarm' sex scene
As the conversation shifted to Idris, whose fully nude body was on display in the scene, and if he received any backlash, Bailey stated that because he is a man, no one passed any judgment.
"I don't think so. Because he's a man," she quipped. Although Idris has yet to comment on this, this revelation shows a double standard within the entertainment industry because, as Big Boy would point out, following Bailey's statement that the actor was being condemned for the same scene.
Later, Bailey would reiterate that she was simply doing her job despite what others may think or feel regarding the scene.
"But I'm an actress. I was doing my job, and I think people just have to kind of remember that I'm an adult and I'm an artist. Nothing was seen that they haven't seen from me."
(L-R) Damson Idris, Dominque Fishback, and Chlöe Bailey.
Photo by Arnold Turner
Chloe Bailey addresses how she felt reading the script and seeing the Swarm sex scene:
Bailey further proved her point that many individuals that negatively commented on the clip seemed to overlook the show's premise as she described her feelings toward initially reading the script and acknowledging that she had to participate in a sex scene.
While praising Idris and Dominique Fishback's performances in Swarm, Bailey said, "Well, because I'm an actress, I'm not reading it as Chlöe is going to a sex scene. I'm reading it as Marissa is in a scene, and her sister is watching."
"That's what people are forgetting. It's about the tension between Damson and Dom [Fishback], who did incredible acting in this show, and I was just seen in the reflection for two seconds," she added.
Big Boy would agree with Bailey's remarks and replied that the only people who would find fault with that scene were those who didn't watch the entire series and only saw the circulating clip.
This isn't the first time Bailey has discussed Swarm's sex scene. Earlier this month, during an interview with Deadline at South by South West (SXSW), she expressed that despite her persona on social media as a sexually liberated woman, she isn't that experienced and has only had a few partners.
Bailey went on to say that her co-star Idris helped her get comfortable with the sex scene by cracking jokes in between takes and having limited people on set.
Chlöe Bailey Speaks on Viral Swarm Scene, New Album, Donald Glover, Tour, and Sister | Interview
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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