15 Lit Sex Scenes That Showcase Black Love At Its Finest
You gotta love Black love, especially when it's shown in its full, hot, sticky, magical lusciousness on the big screen through Black sex scenes. When we see ourselves loving on one another in ways that are passionate and real, we get the feels, not just because it's great to fantasize about replicating in real life---but because it humanizes our experiences and showcases a side of us that's not always fighting, suffering, or traumatized.
The memories of classic Black sex scenes on film and TV live forever. Here are 15 Black sex scenes to take you back and reignite the love and passion in your life:
'Moonlight'
When Kevin and Chiron shared their first kiss, validating feelings they'd had for each other and taking unspoken bonds to the next level, it was passionate and endearing. Kevin then pleasured Chiron via a hand job, which is another act of endearment that further solidified a gift of freedom in sexual identity that they could not fully reveal in their everyday lives. That scene from the 2016 Academy Award-winning film reminded us all of our own first time with a deep crush or connection from our teen years.
'The Photograph'
You gotta love a story of instant attraction between two creatives, and Micheal and Mae don't disappoint in this film. The journalist and art curator (respectively) enjoy a steamy romp during a New York City rainstorm, reminding us all how deliciously fun having a storm bae can be. And the fact that their love has a backdrop of Mae's mother's affair with the father she never knew adds that much more allure. (A close second in the favorite love scene category for this film is the one with her mother and father in 1980s New Orleans enjoying their first time to Luther Vandross and Cheryl Lynn's "If This World Were Mine.")
'Belly'
You've got thug-loving at its finest in this scene, and DMX showed us that doggy style means more than just barking in a rap song. Though his character in the film, Tommy Buns, had a very toxic relationship with his live-in bae Kiesha, played by the beautiful Taral Hicks, this scene made us all---OK maybe just me---think back on that one street dude you had to let go but who could have you climbing the walls and answering his calls a little longer than you should have.
'School Daze'
Tisha Campbell played Jane Toussaint, an HBCU student, and leader of the Gamma Rays, a social group that supported the fictional fraternity in the film, Gamma Phi Gamma. The frat's leader, Julian, was her bae (played by Giancarlo Esposito). There's a spicy scene in the film where the two take a break from stepping, party-planning, and being messy to get their freak on. Speaking of freaky, Jane goes as far as licking Julian's parted haircut, giving a whole new meaning to fetishes among undergrads. (When my girls and I saw this film for the first time as college freshmen, some were totally grossed out, others argued the feminist implications of a young woman doing such a thing, and the rest---including me---wondered whether there was indeed a fruit-flavored hair oil on the market for ... nevermind.
'Sylvie's Love'
This film, set in the 1960s, gives Carmen Jones vibes with a bit of edge. When Sylvie meets saxophonist Robert, it's love at first sight on a Harlem street, and things get much more sensual and romantic. Their first time making love is on a rooftop, and then they meet up again, years later, at New York's iconic Plaza Hotel. What adds to the appeal of the sex scenes between the two is the legendary jazz and R&B soundtrack and the nostalgic style of lingerie Sylvie wears, providing inspo for all of us to role play and get into a few 60s-inspired pieces ourselves.
'She's Gotta Have It'
We are so here for artist Nola, who identifies as a polyamorous bisexual, and her relationships with men and women that include wonderfully entertaining escapades in her "loving bed." One major relationship was the one she had with Opal, a single mother and a horticulturalist. The two explore not only physical awareness and intimacy but a deep personal connection, leading Nola to rethink her life and consider settling down. Good sex will do that to ya!
'Jason's Lyric'
When blue-collar Jason (played by Allen Payne) wanted to take Lyric (played by Jada Pinkett-Smith) out of the Houston hood and into a new life of love and infinite possibilities, we'd already fallen for him. When he commandeered a whole city bus to take her on a date, we swooned. But when we saw his chiseled back and hairy man-parts putting in work with Lyric in a field of lilac flowers, we all wet our panties and reconsidered giving that hard-working brotha at the Radio Shack a chance. (Go ahead, sis. Don't be ashamed. You know you did.)
'The Skinny'
This indie film is about a group of friends from Brown University who travel together for a weekend filled with drama, sex, and revelations. Especially sexy and sultry are the exchanges between Magnus and his boyfriend Ryan, including long, deep kissing sessions and lots of deep stroking.
'Love Jones'
This is, without a doubt, a classic favorite, and Darius Lovehall (played by the never-aging-a-day-in-his-life Larenz Tate) awakened the sapiosexual in all of us with his sensual wordplay and intellectual prowess during house-party debates. But when he and Nina Mosley (played by another actress who proves that Black indeed doesn't crack, Nia Long) finally hit the sheets, it was more than a sight for sore eyes. Add Maxwell's "Somethin' Somethin'" remix laying the vibes for lovemaking and you've got the peak to a love story that just made us all wish we had a writer boyfriend to be the "blues" in our "left thigh trying to become the funk" in our "right." Yas! That's all right!
'Power'
Flexing muscles just always does something to me, and Ghost (played by Omari Hardwick) knew just how to do that while stroking the living daylights out of Tasha (Naturi Naughton). Half the time I didn't care that it was often angry make-up sex between the hubby-and-wife crime duo because, TBH, seeing a strong Black man with a coin---and clearly great gym form---getting it on was always fine by me. The determination on his face, the multiple positions, and the look of bliss at the end of almost every scene...whew chile! Just go ahead and rewind again. We won't be mad.
'Insecure'
Issa Rae reminds us all that everyday women---even us awkward girls---can get our rocks off on the regular, and enjoy sex with some fine men to boot. From your usual comfy-couple sex on the couch with Lawrence (Jay Ellis), her soon-to-be ex, to crazy studio rendezvous with her rebound guy Daniel (Y'lan Noel), it's all about normalizing the dynamics of sex beyond love-story fairy tales and into the realm of IRL ish.
'Do the Right Thing'
Spike Lee sheds light on baby mama drama---and the love in between---as Mookie, who absolutely frustrates his boo Tina (Rosie Perez) throughout the whole film. Despite the arguments, the two end up having a playful sensual escapade. Mookie pulled out the ice trays---and got the side-eye from their son's caretaker, Tina's own mom---to give the both of them much-needed relief from the NYC heat. The dripping cubes-on-nipples action was something I probably shouldn't have been watching at the young age I was when I saw this movie for the first time, but as a grown woman, I can appreciate the combo of frozen treats and laughter to make relationship frustrations disappear.
'Baby Boy'
Now, some of you might fight me on this one, but who didn't didn't want to "make the tacos" for somebody after watching that scene? (And this movie has another hot love scene contender in Ving Rhames (who played Melvin) when he blessed Jody's mom, Juanita (A.J. Johnson), with a little standing froggy-style action.) I know, I know: Baby daddy-baby mama drama at its finest. You can't deny, though, that this scene was one to re-watch and that it was refreshing to see a young couple work through their issues to find common ground and holy matrimony in the end.
'Bessie'
Queen Latifah shines as one of the foremothers of blues, Bessie Smith, and in the film, she shares beautiful moments with her friend and lover, Lucille. The vulnerability and flirtatious exchanges between the two add an extra enchantment to watching this major part of the singer's life unfold through film.
'Creed'
Michael B. Jordan. Need I say more? OK, I'll go on. His character in the film, Adonis, falls in love with Bianca, a hearing-impaired singer-songwriter played by Tessa Thompson. In one scene, the two gain an understanding and connection via music and have a meeting of minds in how they'll both overcome inner demons to reach their life and career goals. Who doesn't love a man who can accept and love all of you? And again, Michael B. Jordan. 'Nuff said.
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Originally published on March 5, 2020
This Black Woman-Owned Creative Agency Shows Us The Art Of Rebranding
Rebranding is an intricate process and very important to the success of businesses that want to change. However, before a business owner makes this decision, they should determine whether it's a rebrand or an evolution.
That's where people like Lola Adewuya come in. Lola is the founder and CEO of The Brand Doula, a brand development studio with a multidisciplinary approach to branding, social media, marketing, and design.
While an evolution is a natural progression that happens as businesses grow, a rebrand is a total change. Lola tells xoNecole, "A total rebrand is necessary when a business’s current reputation/what it’s known for is at odds with the business’s vision or direction.
"For example, if you’ve fundamentally changed what your product is and does, it’s likely that your brand is out of alignment with the business. Or, if you find your company is developing a reputation that doesn’t serve it, it might be time to pump the brakes and figure out what needs to change.
She continues, "Sometimes you’ll see companies (especially startups) announce a name change that comes with updated messaging, visuals, etc. That usually means their vision has changed or expanded, and their previous branding was too narrow/couldn’t encompass everything they planned to do."
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The Brand Doula was born in 2019, and its focus is on putting "the experiences, goals, and needs of women of color founders first," as well as brands with "culture-shifting missions."
According to Lola, culture-shifting is "the act of influencing dominant behavior, beliefs, or experiences in a community or group (ideally, for the better)."
"At The Brand Doula, we work with companies and leaders that set out to challenge the status quo in their industries and communities. They’re here to make an impact that sends ripples across the market," she says.
"We help the problem solvers of the world — the ones who aren't satisfied with 'this is how it's always been' and instead ask 'how could this be better?' Our clients build for impact, reimagining tools, systems, and ways of living to move cultures forward."
The Brand Doula has worked with many brands, including Too Collective, to assist with their collaboration with Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty and Balanced Black Girl for a "refresh," aka rebrand. For businesses looking to rebrand, Lola shares four essential steps.
1. Do an audit of your current brand experience — what’s still relevant and what needs to change? Reflect on why you’re doing the rebrand in the first place and what success would look like after relaunching.
2. Tackle the overall strategy first — before you start redesigning logos and websites, align on a new vision for your brand. How do you want your company to be positioned moving forward? Has your audience changed at all? Will your company have a fresh personality and voice?
3. Bring your audience along the journey — there’s no need to move in secret. Inviting your current audience into the journey can actually help them feel more connected to and invested in your story, enough to stick around as changes are being made.
4. Keep business moving — one of my biggest pet peeves is when companies take down their websites as soon as they have the idea to rebrand, then have a Coming Soon page up for months! You lose a lot of momentum and interest by doing that. If you’re still in business and generating income, continue to operate while you work on your rebrand behind the scenes. You don’t want to cut existing customers off out of the blue, and you also don’t want so much downtime that folks forget your business exists or start looking for other solutions.
While determining whether the rebrand was successful may take a few months, Lola says a clear sign that it is unsuccessful is negative feedback from your target audience. "Customers are typically more vocal about what they don’t like more than what they do like," she says.
But some good signs to look out for are improvements in engagement with your marketing, positive reviews, press and increase in retention, and overall feeling aligned with the new branding.
For more information about Lola and The Brand Doula, visit her website, thebranddoula.com.
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Women's Voting Organization Supermajority's CIO Talks Election Issues, Minus The Drama
Voting has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. As a child, my parents would pack my sister and me up in the car and allow us to take in the excitement of the polls during local and national elections.
Years later, in 2008, I voted in my first election for Barack Obama and emotionally celebrated his win surrounded by fellow classmates from Clark Atlanta, Spelman, and Morehouse.
I remember calling my grandmother, who has since transitioned, and hearing the passion in her voice when she explained how she’d never thought she’d see something like this happen and how much it meant to her. As I reflect, I realize it’s a combination of memories like this that undoubtedly encouraged my will to vote.
However, as an adult, my reasoning behind the practice has developed. It’s no longer just about “the right thing to do.” I feel a responsibility to myself and my future to know the issues, how they impact me, and make a difference for others.
In the times we’re in, there's so much “news” everywhere. It’s hard to distinguish fact from opinion and bias from beliefs. This is why it was such a pleasure speaking with Jara Butler, Chief Impact Officer of Supermajority. Supermajority is an organization focused on making women the most powerful voting bloc in the country. During this authentic and informal conversation, we talked about so much.
I learned about her time working with the Obama campaign and how she masterfully worked in multiple industries, and we shared some of our favorite female rap moments. However, in the snapshot you’ll read, we focused on the issues. Jara walked xoNecole through what’s most affecting women of color in this election and what we can do to be more aware. Whether you’re a politics girlie or like me, just trying to gain more insight, hopefully this convo connects with you.
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xoNecole: Let’s just jump right in. What are some of the most popular issues that you hear Black women discussing related to this election?
Jara Butler: Our sister organization, the Supermajority Education Fund, recently did some research specifically looking at young women in the age group 18 to 35, and young Black women identified their economic well-being as a priority. Right now, we're in a place where a lot of us, especially young Black women, are finding that meeting those basic needs are harder and harder.
Secondly, is Project 2025. I think Black women see it as not just something that could happen, but actively happening. For example, we’ve all been watching the case with the Fearless fund, and how it's been targeted. We know Black women are very entrepreneurial. We can go back to Madam C.J. Walker and others who have opened the door for all of us to achieve. But if those barriers are in place, we're just not going to be able to meet that.
Lastly, Repro is a very big issue. But I think looking at it holistically and not just about abortion is important. Black women are more likely to talk about this from a perspective of our reproductive health care and the lack of access due to medical racism. As a Black woman myself, who's over 40, a lot of the changes that I am making in my life are because I have to do everything I can to put myself in a position, because I know no matter what my economic status is, if I walk into a medical office, there's a good chance I'm gonna face medical discrimination. Breast cancer screenings, colon cancer screening, ovarian cancer screening, cervical cancer screenings - all of those are part of that network of reproductive health.
xoN: Another issue I’d love your insight into is our missing girls. I think it's so unbelievable how much this is swept under the rug. There are so many stories about Black women that are continuing to go missing; I don’t understand how that’s not a bigger conversation. Is this something that can be pursued on the government level and what can we do to bring more attention to this issue?
Jara: We have this list of majority rules on our website, and my favorite one is: that our government represents us. I think that we have to continue to apply pressure to our government to meet our needs. And again, women are the majority of voters. Black women, especially, are the most reliable voting bloc across all groups, and our interests right now are not being met. So yes, there is something that we can do, but I also am a big proponent of us having these conversations.
My great-grandmother was enslaved, my grandmother was born into Jim Crow, and I watched my mother face economic insecurity. I say that because, as a Black community, we have to have an internal conversation to talk about these issues, and we have to do it upfront. I think we have to get into a position of realizing that we do have power, and how we activate that power.
Our power comes from being Black folks because Black people organizing has been enough to shake up and scare people. There were laws that prevented us from congregating together, even at church, because they knew what would happen when we got together. We have to get back into that. It's not that we are not doing it, but the urgency needs to be greater. And finally, we have to get away from depending on one individual to take us there. It's gonna take all of us.
"Our power comes from being Black folks because Black people organizing has been enough to shake up and scare people. There were laws that prevented us from congregating together, even at church, because they knew what would happen when we got together. We have to get back into that. It's not that we are not doing it, but the urgency needs to be greater."
xoN: I agree completely. Now, when we started, you mentioned money. So let’s talk about it. So many of us are starting businesses and getting degrees, and I love to see it. But everyone seems to still be having a lot of the same issues around finances. What are some of the underlying reasons behind this debt that we're dealing with, and how can voting influence these challenges without getting into the individual candidates?
Jara: Hello! Let’s talk about the money! Black women have been told that if we want to move ahead, we have to have that master's degree. We have to be twice as good. So we met that measure, right? But in order to do that, we have to pay for it. Up until about the 1970s college was absolutely affordable. You could work one job and pay for college with some money left over. That has changed.
Realistically, student loans are a barrier. They are a barrier to access housing. They impact our credit, and really and truthfully, depending on how much your loans are, they could affect you paying rent. It basically creates a cycle of debt. And I have real problems with people who say, get a degree in something that's going to make money. It’s about your skills, and if you have the skills, you should be able to earn a living. That covers that.
But the fact is that student loan debt continues to increase, and there have been attempts, more than once, to try to relieve some of that pressure. The reality is that this is a squeeze. It is a conundrum, and we see efforts by the current White House administration to try to alleviate those things, even when they are stopped.
But truly, Congress needs to step in and support this, but I would take it a step further. We should be considering and looking at what it would look like if we had free community colleges. Because what we have now is two generations of borrowers, because older millennials’ children are beginning to age. Black women have the highest degree of second-degree secondary education, but we carry like 1.7 trillion in debt or something like that. I can't remember the exact number, but basically, the majority of the student loan debt is ours.
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xoN: Speaking of college, obviously there’s a lot of discussion around affirmative action in the schools and the undergoing changes. How important is it to consider this topic, and are there any new laws or policies being proposed around this that we should be aware of?
Jara: Oh my goodness, affirmative action is one of the things that we saw that our sister site, the Supermajority Education Fund, found last year as a number two issue for young women. I actually hypothesized that it was a real thing, and it was. And the reason for that is that affirmative action as a whole has been something that benefited white women more than any other group.
However, what is happening is that we’re using the word DEI in a way that is derogatory. I’ve heard people refer to it as: “didn't even earn it.” And as a Black woman who attended an amazing school, I remember being in class and having someone make that comment, knowing my grades were higher than theirs.
The fact of the matter is that we would not need these policies if we lived in an equal and equitable society. It doesn't do us any harm for us to face the facts that this country was built off the backs of enslaved people and the blood of indigenous people, and off the sweat and the tears of immigrants. But because we are unwilling to face that, we now are demonizing programs that are actually meant to create some symbol of balance.
xoN: Finally, I’ll close with this, what can we do to provide information to young people, and how do we combat all of the less than researched info?
Jara: One thing I encourage is to look at the source. At Supermajority, our social channels are information-based. We strive to provide up-to-date accurate information that is digestible to all. Media literacy is something I believe in, and unfortunately, it is something that we have a responsibility to continue to share with the community at large. So much of our world is centered on immediate info, a lie spreads faster than the truth.
We just saw that with the Olympic women's boxers, and we have to ask ourselves often: is this information accurate? Who is telling the story? Most importantly, how am I an original contributor? Not everything said needs to be shared, and not every thought needs to be public.
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