I Live For Athleisure & These Are A Few Of My Favorite Looks
About six months ago, I started my fitness journey and decided it was time to put in the necessary work to achieve my goals. As I began to take a more active approach to my lifestyle, I knew that the right workout clothes would motivate me to stay consistent when starting my days with an early-morning gym session. Along with my newfound love of fitness came my obsession with finding stylish and comfortable athleisure outfits I could feel confident wearing while breaking a sweat or running around town. As someone who loves both fashion and fitness, gone are the days of oversized collegiate sweatshirts and spandex pants.
Athleisure has come such a long way within the apparel industry as brands continue to blur the line between active and casual wear. While I love a trend-forward approach to workout sets, comfort is a non-negotiable. When managing to find sleek clothing items that fit my body, I never want to take them off. Even on my days off from the gym, I often gravitate toward pieces that will keep me right and tight when worn on the go. Keep scrolling to find stylish yet effective additions to wearing more of your favorite athletic looks.
Post-Workout
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Green is my favorite color, so I absolutely needed this cropped puffer vest. Effervescent, eye-catching, and eclectic, this is the perfect addition to a post-workout look on a sunny winter day. Gravitating toward more color and prints this season, I wanted to brighten up this all-black classic workout set as I stopped to run a few errands after a quick low-impact workout. Having fun with this look, I paired dark red sunnies and a faux fur, zebra-print bag simply for the extra wow factor.
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
On the Go
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Getting a head start on upcoming spring 2022 trends, I paired this fiery set, complete with a bra top and matching v-cut active tights, with a vintage oversized plaid blazer for less exposure. The key to making on-the-go active sets pop is bold accessories such as these red-tinted sunglasses with black frames. If you prefer to hit the gym at the end of your day, this look is perfect for store or mall runs during the day and a workout at night.
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Keeping it Cozy
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
A top-of-the-morning gym session comes with colder temperatures, no matter the season. For a cozier look, I’m loving this cool gray pairing with a matching puffer coat. The oversized fluorescent tote was the perfect pop of color to brighten my morning. To complete this look, I added chunky socks for extra insulation.
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Featured image by Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
You're In A Relationship. You Wanna Pause Sex. What Now?
With the way our culture is going, Grandma (it’s probably more like great-grandma at this point) would be proud.According to semi-recent findings, not only are folks out herehaving fewer sex partners, but abstinence seems to be on the rise as well — and whether you choose to believe it or not, it’s actuallymore young men who are choosing to chill out on the bedroom activities more than young women are (interesting).
The reason why I’m leading with this when it comes to this particular topic is that if you’re someone who has been sexually active for a while, you’re contemplating going into a season of abstinence or celibacy, and a part of your hesitation is you think that you’ll be one of the very few who’s done it, that couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s becoming more common than ever for individuals to at least go 6-12 months without sex…for a variety of reasons.
Okay, but what if you’re thinking about doing it, and you’re in a relationship with someone who you’re currently sexually active with? Not only that, but your partner is absolutely not on the same page with you when it comes to making this type of move. If that’s your challenge of the day and you’re not sure what you should do about it all, I’ve actually got a few tips, ones that, hopefully, will at least give you some of the clarity that you may be seeking in this particular season of (temporary) transition in your life.
What Is Your Reason?
GiphyPopular life coach Michael Hyatt once said, “When you know your why, you’ll know your way,” and when you’ve made the decision to go without sex, no matter how long that season may be, no greater words could be spoken. So, if abstinence is what you’re considering, definitely ask yourself what is your reason for that. Is it Scriptural or religious? Is it because you feel like you are confusing good sex with a solid relational dynamic?
Is it because you think that you and your partner are in an endless pattern of “making up to break-up” (check out “Make-Up Sex Might Be Doing Your Relationship More Harm Than Good”)? Perhaps you’re on some form of birth control, and you want to give your body a break from the hormones. Maybe you recently had a pregnancy scare that has caused you to do a bit of life reevaluating, and you don’t want to risk another chance of having a positive sign on a test until you get clear on how you want the next couple of years of your life to look.
I know when I decided to enter into my LOOONG season of not-getting-any, it was because I decided to see if I was in a pattern of counterproductivity — not just when it came to sex but with the people I chose to have sex with.
For me, I entered into my abstinence phase without being in a relationship (I did it after breaking up with the last boyfriend that I will ever have in this lifetime — check out “Why I'll Never Call Someone A 'Boyfriend' Again”), so my shift was virtually drama-free (well, minus all of the detoxing that I went through; that first six months or so without sex is a MUTHA). However, I have had times when I’ve wanted to go several months without sex, after having sex with someone, and it did not make for a smooth sailing between the two of us.
Anyway, when it comes to figuring out what you should do about your own situation, being very clear about your reasons can make it so much easier to do the next thing: come up with a plan.
What Is Your Plan?
GiphyFor the sake of time and space, I can’t address every dilemma for this, so let’s go with one of ‘em. Say that the (main) reason why you want to be abstinent is because you know you have a pattern of mistaking good sex for actual intimacy (check out “What If The Sex Is Great? But The Relationship Sucks.”). The guy you’ve been seeing, the relationship is under six months old, yet you could see a real future with him. Thing is, you’ve been having sex with each other for about three months now, and you just recently decided to go exclusive.
You know, with everything in you, that a big part of the reason why he was cool with not seeing anyone else is because sex is consistent (and good) between the two of you, so you’re not (completely) sure how he’s going to handle your new decision.
Well, what’s your plan? What I mean by that is, well, a few things:
- How long do you plan on being abstinent?
- What kind of abstinent do you want to be (no oral, no foreplay, no making out, etc.)?
- When you remove something, it’s wise to replace it with something else; how do you want to fill that void in the meantime?
- Where do you see the relationship going as a result of making this kind of shift?
- While you’re thinking about what’s best for you, what do you think is best for your relationship as well?
You know the saying goes “Fail to plan, plan to fail,” and when it comes to being abstinent when you’re in a relationship, I’ve dealt with this myself (and via clients) enough to know that when men are approached with this, what they tend to be the most interested in is 1) abstinent for what; 2) abstinent for how long, and 3) why abstinence would ultimately be beneficial for the relationship overall.
Listen, in a lot of relationships, sex is a significant part of it. That’s why you don’t want to go into something this paramount with a “winging it” mindset. The clearer you are about how this can be helpful for you both, at least on some level, the more open “he” will be willing to hear you out and take it into some serious consideration.
How Serious Is the Relationship?
GiphyLight at the end of the tunnel. I’ll tell you what, when you’re in a season of abstinence, and you know that there is some end in sight (because very few folks want to be abstinent forever), it can make going without so much easier to bear. That said when it comes to abstinence while in a relationship, there’s a big difference between telling someone who you’re in a new relationship with that you want to “press pause” for an indefinite period of time vs. telling someone who you recently got engaged to that you want to wait until your wedding day. The first one? Who knows where things are headed? The second? There is a date that is attached to the decision; indeed, there is “relief” on the horizon.
So yeah, that’s something else that needs to be considered because I’ll be real with you — based on how serious the relationship is, your decision to be abstinent may be a “me” decision or a “we” decision. Meaning, a guy who you’re just starting to see and dig, if there are no real lasting guarantees on the table, you really need to focus most on what’s best for you and kind of let the chips fall where they may. On the other hand, for someone who you are in it to win it with long-term (mutually so, not just in your own estimation), you would be silly to think that abstinence wouldn’t have the potential to significantly impact your relationship’s future. Why?
Because if sex was a part of your “house’s” foundation, if you pull some of the foundations out, it can cause the house to “shake” a bit — especially if some trying times present themselves during that same season. So yep, you factoring in the “weight” of the relationship is also what needs to be taken into some serious account. (Tip: You probably need to get him to weigh in on this as well. It’s not uncommon for one person to think a relationship is one type while someone else estimates it to be something totally different.)
Please Remember This at All Times: You Have Free Will. So Does He.
GiphySomething that I will forever say until the cows (and all of the other animals on Noah’s Ark) come home is people really need to stop dating like they are married — if you want to be married, get married. At the end of the day, dating is all about seeing if you’re a good fit for someone and if they are a good fit for you. Unlike marriage, no vows were taken before the Lord, your family, and friends. There is no paperwork involved. There is not the all-in intention of being with someone, no matter what, until death parts you. So, you know what that means? If one or both people come to a fork in the road where there isn’t room for compromise, no one is the bad guy for deciding to end things — yes, even when it comes to something like one individual wanting to remain sexually active while the other doesn’t.
I mean, how would you feel if the guy you were seeing decided that he didn’t want to spend money on dates or special occasions anymore because he needed to focus on getting out of debt? I’m not talking about for a couple of weeks either — I mean, several months or even a couple of years. If you can hang, he needs to keep you because you’re a real one. You know what, though? If you can’t, that doesn’t make you a gold digger or siren. If dates and gifts are what you feel like you need, again, especially if the relationship is relatively new, you need to do what’s best for you….just like he needs to do what’s best for him. It would be totally unfair on his part to expect you to be as invested in his self-development as he is.
IT'S NO DIFFERENT WITH YOUR DECISION TO BE ABSTINENT.
You are doing what’s best for you and he is not the devil incarnate if what is best for you is not what’s best for him. Husbands and wives have to make life-altering sacrifices; boyfriends and girlfriends (or the “untitled”)? They don’t. As unpopular (and perhaps even difficult) as it may be to hear, just like the Bible, Quran, Torah, and taxes don’t give a category for boyfriends and girlfriends (you’re single, married, divorced, or widowed), you should live your life in a similar fashion.
What I mean by that is, you’re single until you’re not. This means that you need to prioritize yourself above all else until someone vows to provide for and protect you (as you vow to help and nurture him). If you need to be abstinent, you don’t owe someone your body. If your partner doesn’t want to follow suit, he doesn’t owe you the sacrifice of going without either.
And so, if you can’t find any compromise, break up. Maybe you’ll cross paths in the future, maybe you won’t. What this season will reveal to you, rest assured, is what is best for you, who complements your life in the now, and how you should move as far as interactions with others go. Yet again, he’s not a villain for not wanting something that is different from what he initially agreed to. Don’t gaslight yourself or him into thinking otherwise. It’s not fair.
Always Do What’s Best for You
GiphyListen, as someone who knows long-term abstinence very up close and personally, very few things in life will teach you more about yourself than going without sex for a season will. It will teach you self-control. It will teach you how to figure out the difference between loving someone and “loving it.” It will teach you how to not settle just because someone makes you feel good. It will teach you how to exert self-discipline in other areas of your life. It will teach you how to not be afraid of losing someone if that means gaining more of yourself.
And honestly, that’s the biggest takeaway that you should get from all of this because, while there is a chance that your relationship is solid enough that your partner can roll with your decision if he chooses not to, choosing you above him and your connection, that is already making abstinence a bomb decision. Because when you do what’s best for you, you tend to choose who is ultimately best for you — whether it’s immediately or eventually — too.
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Bottom line, if you know that putting sex on pause is best for you, for now, PLEASE don’t let a relationship keep you from doing that. It might feel good to ignore your innermost needs now…yet I can almost guarantee that you will regret it later.
And it’s NEVER worth it, while you’re single, to ignore or push aside you…for “him”.
Trust me on that, sis.
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Featured image by Tom Werner/Getty Images