We've all heard the phrase, "Men don't talk." Well, on the xoMAN podcast, they most certainly do.
When Kendrick Sampson joined Kiara Walker for this week's episode of the xoMAN, the Insecure actor peeled back layers of his childhood in Houston, his love for stories, and the complicated relationship he shares with his father.
Kendrick Sampson On Nurturing His Love For Stories
Before Kendrick became the actor and activist we all know today, he was just a kid in Houston who loved stories. So much so, he'd fall asleep most nights surrounded by books instead of stuffed animals. He admitted to Kiara that he was "super, super steeped in story" from the beginning. By the time he was in the fifth grade, he'd discovered acting through school plays. There, he found his lane.
When he told his mother he wanted to take acting seriously, she didn't discourage him or his newfound interest. Instead, she made him responsible for his dream.
"She said, 'Okay, here's a newspaper. Find an agent. I'm not going to do the work, but if you do the work, then I'll take you to class or whatever it is.'"
So the then-ten-year-old Kendrick picked up the newspaper, called an agent, and jump-started his acting career in Texas, booking commercials and auditions in Houston, Austin, and even NOLA, baby. The early encouragement gave Kendrick the confidence to pursue his calling before he had even started middle school.
On His Relationship With His Father, Distance & Feeling His Pride From Afar
While his mother's support in his dreams felt tangible, his father's was more complicated. Not one to sugarcoat anything, Kendrick kept it all the way real about the men in his life who helped shape him. After talking about the support he felt from his brothers, he shifted the focus to his father.
"My dad, my dad, my dad, my dad..." he repeated like a mantra as he searched for the right words to describe him. A Vietnam vet who grew up before segregation started in rural Louisiana, Kendrick's father was equal parts provider and enigma
"'Supportive' is a really interesting... I don't know if I could characterize it as 'supportive,'" Kendrick admitted in xoMAN. "He wasn't against it. He's very, he's very proud."
That pride, however, might've felt more elusive than anything as it didn't always show up directly.
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"He had a rough life, a very rough life. And he like fought in Vietnam. Was born in '47," he added empathetically before continuing, "He had a difficult... he was drafted, you know, orphaned... He took that into his relationships and his communication. Sometimes it was, you know, fucked up. So, you know, I wouldn't say like 'supportive,' but you know, he wasn't out of my life."
More often than not, Kendrick would hear about his father's admiration secondhand, be it from siblings or relatives that pass along stories.
"He's one of those people--and I have to watch myself because I'm kind of like this--where I'll brag about you all day, talk about you 24/7 to everybody and be like, 'Man, so and so is doing so good.'... I might not talk to you for two months... It's not no love loss. I'm not mad at you. I'm a Pisces... To me, I'm still, you're on my mind all the time. So my dad would brag about me to my siblings and other people, like he doesn't talk to me and we ain't talked in a year or whatever."
Kendrick On Learning To Understand His Father To Understand Himself
Even with the emotional distance he has experienced in loving his father and being loved by his father, Kendrick speaks about it all with a level of empathy that speaks to his wholeness and his own healing work. The complicated love he has for his father fuels his own self-awareness and shows in his ability to see it as a mirror.
"I still love him and I understand him and I wanna understand him more and more so I understand more about myself and where my flaws are, where can go, how bad my relationships can get, how harsh I can be when I say certain things and talk to people that I love and not think about it, so it makes me be more conscious."
And while he admits he probably speaks to his father more than some of the people in his father's life, what he ultimately craves from his father runs deeper.
"I don't necessarily long for that from him. I just want to know who he is at his core and what drives him and what brought him to how he was was and what I could learn from that."
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Featured image by Ray Tamarra/Soul B Photos/Shutterstock
