Over the weekend, Curlfest (stylized as CURLFEST) had their first visit to Atlanta and the experience was nothing short of magical. There was a lot of excitement around how Atlanta's festival would compare to New York but to many of the attendees' pleasure, it surpassed every expectation. If you don't know by now, Curlfest was created by five founders: Charisse Higgins, Simone Mair, Tracey Coleman, Gia Lowe, and Melody Henderson, cleverly called the Curly Girl Collective in 2014.
However, the beginnings can be traced back to 2010, when a chance meeting after an email thread led all these women to meet. In that first meeting, these ladies found a community where they could be seen when it comes to sharing haircare tips, products, and what a natural hair journey means in today's world. They knew immediately that this experience needed to be shared on a larger scale. Since then, the Curly Girl Collective has grown and hosted many events to include Curl Crush: A Speed Hair Event, All Dolled Up Holiday Charity Event, and their most notable Curlfest.
Curlfest itself has grown to host over 75,000 of not only women of color, but all people of color over the last five years. Through its five-year exponential growth, the machine behind the event remains 100% black women-owned and the largest natural beauty festival in America. Their mission is simple, to create a space where women of color can feel affirmed and empowered through in the space of beauty. As stated on their website, "Curlfest is an empowering and uniquely magical experience where women and girls of every shade, shape, and size can come and be celebrated for who they are, unconditionally."
If this is not enough black girl magic to attend Curlfest, here are 5 more reasons to go:
It’s a true celebration of every hair type, style, expression, and community.
Photo by Amer-Marie for xoNecole
The moment you walk through the gates into the park the atmosphere immediately invites you in. There are women of all shapes and sizes walking around in their own confidence with their hair on display. It is a sea of long hair, short hair, curls, afros, braids, faux locs, dread locs, twits, short cuts, undercuts, afro puff, twists outs, braid outs, wash n go's, frohawks, pink hair, blue hair, yellow hair, flower crowns, butterfly clips, pigtails, ponytails -- the list goes on. Each man, woman, and child proudly walking around in a freedom that they can share with the community that looks like them. The best part is the warm voices humming, "Can I take a picture of your hair?", "Oh, girl!! I love your hair!!", "Your haircut is dope, sis." It was a true space for the celebration of people in their natural state celebrating one another. Where else in the world could make you feel like magic?
Photo by Amer-Marie for xoNecole
It is a family affair.
Photo by Amer-Marie for xoNecole
Curlfest is not only space for people of color to celebrate their hair but for them to do it as a family as well. There are plenty of stories out there where people felt the most opposition from their families while transitioning their hair. This can be attributed to this society's rejection of hair for people of color. We are living in a time where laws are still being passed to protect the rights of those who choose to wear their natural hair. Seeing families celebrate each other as a unit is sign of changing times. Fathers, mothers, sons, and daughters all sharing similar hairstyles or sporting different looks is a sign of breaking generational curses. Not only was hair acceptance in full force but so were positive images of black love and black families.
Photo by Amer-Marie for xoNecole
Representation matters.
Photo by Amer-Marie for xoNecole
So, there are several things we know to be true: being black is not monolithic and we have buying power somewhere north of the trillions. However, we are not always represented in the marketplace, a lot of times we are overlooked. Curlfest curated the perfect vendors for their guests, who not only sell products for us but they are made by us. The list of vendors includes Aunt Jackie's Curls and Coils, Yelle Skincare, Creme of Nature, Cantu, Suave, Target, Puff Cuff and many more. The swag bag alone is unmatched by any other beauty festival, boasting products from the festival vendors as well as SheaMoisture, Palmers, Aveda, Dove, Urban Skin Rx, etc. The Curly Girl Collective didn't forget about the local black-owned businesses in the area either. They were provided a market area to sell homemade items as well as expand their reach to a bigger audience.
The fashion. PERIODT!
Photo by Amer-Marie for xoNecole
If there was any festival for you to dress as you want, this is the one to show off your creative fashion sense. From homemade flower crowns to tulle gowns, any type of fashion statement was possible. Everyone joined in on the spirit of expression and came to show off their most authentic fashions. So many cultures were represented among the attendees. The men who attended the festival even showed off their best fashion with t-shirts boldly stating, "The Black Woman is God" and wearing brightly colored printed pants, shirts, and hats while sporting various natural hairstyles.
Photo by Amer-Marie for xoNecole
Every person is welcomed.
This festival shows the best parts of a community who share a common experience in this world. They also are inclusive of the entire African diaspora. Every culture is represented, every country is acknowledged, and every person is recognized. The full picture of what it means to be a person of color comes into focus at Curlfest. The music, the food, the vendors, the fashion, the hair are all for the culture. Curlfest is for the culture.
If you missed Curlfest in New York or Atlanta, no worries, they will be coming back in 2020 with even more festivals. At the Atlanta Curlfest, the Curly Girl Collective made an announcement that they will be returning to Atlanta and adding a few more cities. Most exciting though, is they will be taking Curlfest international.
So, stay updated on details by following them on Instagram @curlygirlcollective or join their email list for next year's 2020 lineup!
Although this might seem like a heavy way to intro this particular topic, because the O Method is an orgasm-achieving technique that centers around housing energy, embracing the mental practice of manifestation, and the attempt to achieve the best climaxes ever — it all works together pretty well if you ask me. If you want to take your orgasms to the next level, it’s important that you get out of yourself (to a certain extent), that you see the spiritual role that manifestation plays, and that you are open to trying new things. No doubt about it.
So, let’s learn more about what the O Method is all about and how it very well could be just what you’ve been looking for…even if you didn’t know it.
What Is the “O Method” All About?
GiphyQuestion: When’s the last time you’ve had an orgasm? Not just any orgasm — I mean a really mind-blowing one (I’ll give you a second to think about it). Now, what if you could manifest that experience to the point where it wasn’t a rare occurrence but something that happened almost every time that you and your partner had sex with each other? How absolutely awesome would that be?
That is pretty much what the O Method is all about — helping you achieve the kind of orgasms (and sexual pleasure, in general) that you desire through the practice of manifestation. And since your biggest sex organ is your brain, it would make perfect sense that even with all of the tips and techniques that you might learn to do as far as your body is concerned, honing in on what you think about is super imperative to sexual fulfillment, too. And that’s just where manifestation comes in.
What If You’ve Never “Manifested” Anything Before?
GiphyBefore we get into a quick lesson on manifestation, I think it’s important to mention two things. One, for the cynics, there is a lot of truth in the fact that it’s got some solid spiritual basis to it because even the Good Book says that as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7). At the same time, that same Good Book tells us that faith without works is dead (James 2:14-26). So, while it is always a good idea to focus on good, positive, and productive thoughts, just thinking about them isn’t enough — at some point, you’ve also gotta get out here and DO something (bookmark that).
Okay, with that mini-sermon out of the way, whether it’s in the bedroom or not, manifestation is basically about focusing on something tangible that you desire, harnessing your energy in such a way that your words and actions are directed towards that longing until what you want, well, manifests. For the record, aside from this having a spiritual backing to it, in many ways, science cosigns on manifesting, too. There is actually a scientific process known as neuroplasticity that consists of reframing your mind so that your actions ultimately end up aligning with your goals — and that is another way to look at manifestation.
So, what if you’re someone who has never set out to do a manifestation practice before? No worries. Something that’s awesome about it is there are several different approaches that you can take.
Some people manifest what they want in their lives via:
- Journaling
- Visualization/Creating vision boards
- Writing down their desires before going to bed (so that they can “download” them into their dream state)
- Creating mantras and affirmations
- Applying the 369 Manifestation Method (you can learn more about that here)
- Meditating
- Learning more about what you want to manifest (which brings forth clarity)
This is important to keep in mind because, when it comes to manifesting the types of orgasms that you want to have, as you can see, you can try different manifestation methods until you find one (or ones) that you are truly comfortable with. One that can ease you into the entire process rather smoothly is something known as sex journaling.
How Sex Journaling Can Actually Help You to Have an Orgasm
GiphyAs a writer, I’m a big fan of journaling. Mostly because it’s a way to get out some of your deepest thoughts and feelings so that you’re able to really process what is happening inside of you in a private setting. And when it comes to sex journaling, specifically, it’s all about centering yourself on the things sexually that you want to “unpack,” get clarity on or come to some revelations about. For instance, if there’s only been one partner from your past who’s been able to help you achieve the type of orgasms that you wish to manifest, journaling about what makes him different from the other guys can provide you with some solid ah-ha moments.
Or if you need help getting as specific as possible about the sexual experiences that you’re after, journaling can help to make that happen for you — because one thing that manifesting reminds us all to do is be as specific as possible.
Yeah, simply saying, “I want to have better sex” isn’t detailed enough when you want to get your energy to match with your desires — instead, describe how all of your senses should feel in the experience, along with why, that can get you so much closer to achieving your goal. Once those things are documented, you can segue into creating mantras and/or meditation that are based on them. Yeah, sex journaling really is an underrated superpower on a lot of levels (check out “The Art Of Sex Journaling (And Why You Should Do It)”).
5 Tips for Making the O Method Work for You
GiphyNow that you know more about what the O Method is and how manifestation plays a direct role in its process, let’s talk about five ways to make the O Method truly effective in your own (sex) life.
1. Focus, FULLY, on your feminine energy. What do rose quartz, amethyst, moonstone (which is a Gemini birthstone as well; yes, I’m a Gemini), selenite, and rhodonite all have in common? They’re crystals that help you to go deeper into your divine feminine energy. Traits that are associated with this include compassion, creativity, kindness, gentleness, and sensuality (feminine energy is also accepting and forgiving). If you were to study energy from a biological standpoint, it’s about producing change, responding to stimuli, and having the ability to do what needs to be done (work). So, when it comes to manifesting the kind of orgasms or sexual experiences that you want, using things like your creativity and gentleness in your thoughts and actions can play a role in bringing balance to your partner’s masculinity, which can create a profound sense of pleasure — after all, opposites do attract.
2. Don’t hold back on what it is that you desire. Whenever I interview sex therapists, something that they all say is, a huge mistake that people make as far as sexual satisfaction is concerned is, they have walls up — not just with their partners but even within themselves. Sometimes, there is intimidation, fear, or even shame around what they really want to happen during sex to the point where they aren’t able to channel their energy fully in those directions in order to manifest what they want. For the O Method to work, you can’t let those types of negative emotions hinder you; the more you are able to articulate what you want and how you want it, the better chance you have of making it happen. So yes, get graphic. As graphic as possible.
3. Make manifestation a daily practice. Repetition is important when it comes to manifestation. That’s because the more you declare what you desire (a mantra), get still and think on it (meditation), or look at the “art” that you’ve created surrounding it (visualization), the quicker it becomes a part of you. So yes, make manifestation a daily practice. For instance, if one of your mantras is, “I am going to have intensely passionate orgasms, one right after the other,” don’t just state that 15 minutes before sex is going to happen. Wake up and declare it. Then say it on your lunch break. And again before turning in. The more your thoughts are “streamlined” in this way, the easier it will be for your body to follow suit.
4. Share this practice with your partner. If you were to do even more research on the O Method, one thing that most of the articles will mention is it’s a practice that you can do alone or with your partner. Indeed. However, I just want to make sure that you get into your psyche that great sex is, in part, about good communication. And so, the more comfortable you are sharing with your partner what you are doing as far as the O Method is concerned and what you ultimately want to happen as a result of the practice, the easier it will be for him to “match your energy” — both in and out of the bedroom. And when your partner is on the same page as you? That definitely increases the chances of attaining your sexual desires — exponentially so.
5. Stay in the moment. While I was reading one article on manifestation, I really appreciated something that the author said: manifestation isn’t some supernatural power. In other words, while it can be beneficial, it’s not like you can just think of something, and it instantly appears out of nowhere. Manifesting is a discipline, and it must be accompanied by action, consistency, and patience — this means that you must also practice mindfulness. Meaning, now that you know better what you’re looking to achieve as far as sex is concerned, every time that it transpires, maintain a level of positive energy, remember what your end goal is, and then determine in your mind to enjoy the moments as they come. Remember, manifestation isn’t to add stress…it’s to cultivate clarity.
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At the end of the day, the O Method is simply a way of reminding you that your mind plays a huge role in your sexual pleasure, and when you channel it and your energy exactly where you want them both to go, you’ll be amazed what your body is capable of doing…and accomplishing.
So, what kind of orgasm are you wanting to achieve? You’ve got a tool to get you there. USE IT.
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Featured image by Giphy
