Even though the world is in a state of panic, there are many that are over the moon at just thinking about the next time we can "go outside" again. And if you're anything like me, it's going to be EPIC. I've been putting together a mood board of all of the looks, outfits and places I haven't been that I want to try out once we get to the other side (whatever that looks like) all in one piece. And trust, I'm stepping out like the first day of 9th grade before social media.
New outfit, new hair, new makeup, who dis?!
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Look #1: “All-Over Pastels” Eye
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Juvia's Place The Violets Eyeshadow Palette
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Juvia's Place The Violets Eyeshadow Palette
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Baby blue. Lilac. Baby pink. Pastels are making a comeback and are becoming the new "power" eye so to accentuate my brown eyes, the all-over lilac eyeshadow from Juvia's Place The Violets Eyeshadow Palette really brings out the honey hues of my eyes and will make a statement for my first brunch or girls' night out! The trick to keeping cloudy hues from washing out skin or looking too preteen is to apply a light shimmery color in the tear ducts to break up the monotony and then pair with dewy skin, lashes (eyeliner if you're going out) and a nude lip.
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Look #2: All Over Gloss
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The Glamatory Lip Drip Universal
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When all of this is over, most of us will come out with AMAZING skin (fingers crossed) after spending some time with our skin, checking in with our esthetician and sticking to our skincare routine without the constant clogging of our pores with outside radicals and makeup. So show that SKIN off, hunnay! Keeping it dewy with glossy eyes and lips is perfect to show off your hard-earned skin. Wearing the Supergoop! Glow Stick Sunscreen SPF 50 is clutch because it protects your skin while giving it that GLOW we all love. Pair it with Milk Makeup Eye Vinyl for a glass effect on the eyes with matching lips that will bring out all of the natural highlights on your face and will show off your skin the way it deserves. In other words, give the people what they want!
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Look #3: Neon Eyeliner
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Fenty Beauty Vivid Liquid Eyeliner in Banana Blaze
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Want to make a BOLD statement when we're free to move about the country? A simple neon eyeliner will do the trick. Again, quarantining has taught us a lot about keeping things simple and I do believe our makeup, once all of this is over, will showcase that. Pairing a yellow, blue or even pink neon eyeliner (like Fenty Beauty Vivid Liquid Eyeliner in Banana Blaze) with a clean face and a nude lip will give you that extra pop without spending hours on your face for your first concert after the world opens back up!
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Chalk it up to naivety or simply the hopeful romantic in me, but love never seemed like a distant concept to me. Sure there were tough lessons I had to learn and breakups that I needed healing from, but the hope of finding that special someone still remained. Yet, in my reflections, I couldn’t help but wonder why I kept meeting men who seemed good enough for the moment but would be better had we met at another time.
That is, until I considered one fated component of my dating life that was simply out of my control: and that was time.
When you can’t make sense of things on your own, the TikTok algorithm has a way of leading you to the answers you’re seeking. And during a recent scroll, I stumbled upon a thread of women echoing the sentiment that “men marry the woman in front of them, at the time they are ready to be married” — but could this be the root of my dilemma?
This notion, known as the "Cab Light Theory" is a concept that was introduced in the hit TV series Sex and the City. In the scene, lawyer Miranda Hobbes suggested that men are like taxis - when they're available, their "cab light" is on, and when they're not, it's off. “When they’re available, their light goes on. They wake up one day and decide they’re ready to settle down, have babies, whatever, and they turn their light on. The next woman they pick up — boom! That’s the woman they marry. It’s not fate. It’s dumb luck,” she tells her group of friends in the ladies' room.
GiphyThe theory is that men are ready and willing to pursue a romantic relationship when they're emotionally available and interested (light on), and if they’re not, well, it’s on to the next pick-up they go (light off). While men are not modes of transportation, there is a point to be made about how a passing notion in a TV series from the start of the millennium could still hold some truth today.
In the original video shared by creator Tay Talks, her take on the “Cab Light Theory” implied that men aren’t necessarily marrying their soulmate or even the love of their life, instead, “it was just the girl he was dating at the time he was ready to get married and settle down.” The “dumb luck” that Miranda Hobbes was referring to in the show is the chance encounter that a woman would find a man who is both financially sound and emotionally available enough to stop his dating pursuits and commit to one woman forever.
But as dating trends shift with new social and economic factors at play, how could it be that more “lights” aren’t going off for men?
In an illuminating piece by Psychology Today, men are more lonely than they’ve been in decades and their soil for choice isn’t helping. The article shared that dating apps drive new connections but have a gender imbalance, with 62% of users being men. And with women becoming increasingly more selective in preferring emotionally available men who share their values, men are now facing a relationship skills gap that can lead to fewer opportunities for long-term partnership if growth, healing, and deeper emotional intelligence are not achieved.
While it’s easy to oversimplify the headaches and frustrations that come with modern dating, we can’t forget that while timing does play a factor in us finding “the one,” we also have the power of choice within our grasp. Men and women both need time to heal, grow, and discover themselves on a deeper level — so would we really want to “jump in the cab” of someone who hasn’t gone through that process already?
Since love is one of those forces that we can’t just make happen a the snap of our fingers, it can be easy to fix a blanket theory into the reason behind our singleness, but it’s important to remember that we can choose to pursue other candidates who date with openness and desire for commitment rather than waiting until someone’s light hastily cuts on.
While love can be sublime it shouldn’t be random. And when love finds us, we shouldn’t have the question in the back of our mind whether we were the best our man could do at the time. We deserve to be sure.
So yes, the “cab light theory” is a cheeky concept that prompts us to appreciate the timing of our love life, but it should also remind us that alignment is everything.
Because the real question is: was his light not on, or was he simply not the one?
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