

It's interesting that, if you look up definitions for the word "dream", a lot of times you're going to see something in reference to the images that go through our mind when we're sleeping. It's really only when we take a look at some of the word's synonyms that topics like today really start to resonate. Synonyms like ideas, thoughts, notions, wishes, desires—these are all things that most of us are referring to when we talk about the dreams that we have in this life.
The irony is, while we usually want to make our "awake ideas" come to fruition, far too many of us literally sleep on them. That's really sad because dreams don't come to us for absolutely no reason. More times than not, dreams serve quite a profound purpose in our world. We've simply got to do what it takes to make them come true.
If you've got some dreams and you feel like you keep "hitting the wall" when it comes to trying to make them manifest, perhaps this article can connect a few dots for you. Life is short. Dreams are valid. It's important to do all that we can to make them manifest. Ready?
Can You Explain Each Dream in Two Sentences or Less?
When it comes to making your dreams come true, clarity is key. That's because, if you don't really know what your vision for your life is, how can you fully manifest it? That's why I'm such a big fan of encouraging people to sit down and figure out how to define each dream that they have—in no more than one or two sentences. For one thing, it can help them to get a greater understanding of what they desire to accomplish. Plus, when something is reduced to fewer words, it can feel a lot less overwhelming and so much more doable.
For instance, say that you've got a dream of being a writer. Cool. Now, what kind of writer? An entertainment writer? Someone who has a relationship blog? An author? And if an author, published or self-published? After knowing what you want to do, it can also help to jot do why you want to do it. Then you're able to start setting some realistic short and long-term goals. Make sense?
I definitely think that one of the main reasons why a lot of people are not able to make their dreams happen is because they keep referring to them in vague and abstract ways. The more you are able to clearly articulate your desires, the easier it will be to make them manifest for you.
How Realistic Are Your Dreams? (Now, Hear Me Out)
I've got a friend who says you can spend years working on areas where you are mediocre and do just OK or you can put that energy into your strengths and excel and thrive. That said, I come from a family of singers. Some pretty darn good ones too. For whatever the reason, I wasn't really encouraged and nurtured in that area and so, it sometimes catches people off guard whenever they hear me do it. Instead, most folks know me as a writer. And while I do think that I can hold a tune, I tend to think that singing is a talent for me while some of my relatives? For them, it's a gift.
What's the difference? To me, a gift is something that is almost supernatural. You were born with it. It comes pretty easily to you. You're able to blow other people's minds—and sometimes, even your own—with a particular ability. A talent is something that you're pretty good at, yet it will take a certain amount of effort to excel in that area. That's one example of what I mean by being realistic about your dreams. Are you trying to progress in a gift or a talent? If it's a talent, are you being realistic about how much time, effort and energy you're willing to put into it in order to make something happen?
Another angle on the realistic approach is the fact that being realistic is rooted in logic, facts, truth and common sense. Say that you've got a dream of becoming a chef with your own television show. Yet you only like to cook certain things. You've never taken any kind of cooking or media classes. Your bank account is close to zero. You have no equipment in your house. You hate to network. In fact, you have absolutely no idea what it takes to make that happen. You've just seen some folks on YouTube or TikTok and said, "I bet I can do that." It's kind of a play-on words yet the reality is that a lot of people's dreams don't manifest because they are more caught up in the fantasy of what could be rather than the factuality of things. While I do believe that nothing is impossible, let's be real—some things are more probable than others. When it comes to your dreams, what side of the fence do yours land?
How COMMITTED Are You to Your Dreams?
If there is one word that can separate a lot of people from success and failure, it's commitment. I oftentimes tell couples that I'm working with that if they constantly only focus on what makes them happy at any given time, they probably won't get much accomplished in life. Why do I say that? Happiness is a great emotion and experience. It's also temporary and doesn't really encourage much self-discipline. Going to work doesn't always make us happy; it pays the bills, though. Working out doesn't always make us happy; it's still good for our health. Letting go of a person, place, thing or idea that no longer serves us doesn't always make us happy; it's simply best for us in the long run.
Along these same lines, having a dream is one thing. Remaining committed—obligated via a pledge—to it is something entirely different. Commitment requires focus. Commitment requires maturity. Commitment requires putting your feelings aside, sometimes by overlooking how you feel in the now, so that you can do what needs to be done for the sake of your future. Commitment requires resilience. Most of all, commitment requires integrity.
One of the closest people to me has a billion-and-one good ideas. They stick with each one for about two weeks before moving on to something else. Sometimes it's because they allow themselves to get distracted. Other times, it's because they become impatient. Know what else? Sometimes it's because they claim they are no longer "happy" with the concept.
There are a lot of folks out here who will never see the fruition of some of their desires because they would rather be happy than committed when, more times than not, commitment, more than "happiness", is the key that unlocks a lot of doors. If you're not willing to stick "it" out, through the good and challenging times, you're gonna have a really hard time achieving success. Just ask any successful person. They'll vouch for this very point 1000 percent.
What Do You Do to Devote Yourself to Your Dreams? ON THE DAILY.
On the heels of what I just said, "devoted" is a word that I tend to hear less and less. Unfortunately. Sadly, folks are so fickle out here that they only really do what they feel like doing—and chile, that can change from day to day. When it comes to making your dreams happen, I don't care how much natural ability, resources and even favor you may have, if you're not self-disciplined enough to "plant some seeds" (and then nurture them) into your dreams on a daily basis, that can also hinder you from seeing anything really play out in the long run.
When it comes to putting daily time, effort and energy into your dreams, while what you do may look different from day to day, you still need to focus on them on the regular. One day, it may be putting a short-term goal together. Another day may be hitting up your mentor for some insight and encouragement. Another day might be actually doing something that will get you closer to your goal (writers write, designers design, artists make art). Another day might be all about networking and marketing. The point is, a true dream manifester is always thinking about how to get closer to what they want and then doing something—even if it's baby steps—to make it happen. No excuses. Ever.
Is Your Mental State in Alignment with Your Dreams?
Negative people. Moody people. Petty people. Envious people. Bitter people. These are some of the biggest obstacles when it comes to getting your dreams to where you want to go. Matter of fact, not too long ago, I read a tweet that said something along the lines of, "Your biggest haters are the people who used to be your friends." Lawd…LAWD.
I once read a pretty good medical-based article that said that negativity comes in all sorts of forms—cynicism; jumping to conclusions; blaming; catastrophizing (making mountains out of molehills); emotional reasoning (basically letting your feelings supersede common sense and logic); hostility, and filtering (only seeing things through a negative lens) were some of the things on the list. And gee, when you look at negativity from this perspective, it would definitely seem as if there are a lot more negative folks out here than positive ones. Since negativity can affect your immune system, hormonal balance, sleep patterns, emotional stability and ultimately, even your longevity, if you want to make your dreams happen for you, you've got to be super intentional about leaving negativity alone. Keep naysayers at bay. Protect your energy. Give yourself the kind of pep talks that will get you through each project and milestone.
There is a spiritual kind of warfare that happens when someone has a dream that can ultimately make the world better. You've got to keep this in mind so that you can stay as positive as possible in order to make your dream(s) come true.
Do Your Dreams Complement Your Purpose?
It seems like, at least once a month, someone will ask me how I got my book deals. Did I get a literary agent? Did I hunt down publishers? Did I have to turn in a couple of chapters of an idea before getting an offer? The answer to all of those questions is "no". Both publishing deals were offered to me and I think it's because, since they both aligned so much with what I am called to do, the universe made the deals happen for me. The books complemented my purpose which is helping people in the covenant principles of marriage, sex and the Sabbath.
Another example of where I'm going with this particular point is my godchildren's mother. Rissi Palmer once made history as a top-charting country music artist. Long story short, all hell broke loose in her life and she took a break. She got married. She had kids. Yet she still created music in the meantime. Something that I kept encouraging her to do was a podcast. She is such a walking library of country music that it only seemed right. Eventually, she started one. And then, almost immediately, dots began to connect. Someone heard it and connected her to Apple. And y'all, when I say that the rest is history—you can check out her CBS This Morning interview from this past March (right here) to get an idea of how life is going for her these days. How did all of this happen? Her dreams of reviving her platform complemented her purpose which is not only singing but opening doors of other female country artists of color.
If you read enough of my content for this platform, you'll notice that "complement" is a big word to me. When something (or one) complements you, it completes or helps to perfect things in your life. When it comes to your dreams complementing your purpose, an article on Mind Body Green's site that I definitely recommend that you make the time to check out is "10 Signs You've Found Your Calling". It shares points like mystical things will happen, when you get off course, you'll get redirected and your health will start to improve. Why? Because when your dreams complement your purpose, your dreams help to perfect said purpose and, since your purpose is the reason for why you exist in the first place, how could you not become more complete by everything coming/working together? Right?
Have You Factored Timing in?
Another friend of mine is a master of timing. You can try and compel them to do something and oftentimes they will be like, "Yeah. Not now." When you ask them why, they don't really have a solid reason other than it doesn't feel right to move at that particular time. And yet, whether it's weeks, months or sometimes, even a couple of years later, the universe will align things in their world in such a way that, not only do they get what they want, they end up with more than what they ever wanted.
There's a Scripture in the Bible that says that everything has a season, time and a purpose (Ecclesiastes 3:1). One of the things that I like so much about that is all of those words work together. The right things happen in the right season, at the right time, and for the right purpose. Otherwise, it's not the best thing. That said, on a spiritual plane, whenever I think of timing, I think of a quote that states, "Be careful about rushing God's timing. You never know who or what he is protecting or saving you from." (LISTEN) Then, in a broader sense, another quote on timing that I appreciate is, "Timing is everything. When you're really ready for it, it will come."
Whew. That last one speaks to ego. Some of us get frustrated when our dreams don't happen when we think they should yet many times, God knows that we're not as ready as we think we are for them to manifest. We might not be strong enough. We might not be mature enough. We might not be responsible enough. YET.
While there are many things that we can control in this world, for the most part, one that we honestly can't is timing. So, if while reading this, you honestly believe that you've done all that you can do (have you?), perhaps you need to chill and just trust timing to do its thing. Because when things happen at the right time…it really is for your best in the long run.
Are You Absolutely in Love with Your Dreams?
A couple of years ago, something I wrote for the site was entitled, "Like, Love & In Love: How To Really Know The Difference". When it came to the "in love" part, something that I touched on is it's pretty close to impossible to be "in love" unless the person you love is "in it" along with you. That's because "in" means to be in a place, position, or type of relationship and "with" means to be accompanied by.
I know this is about to be some red pill thinking but…while you're out here thinking that you're in love with your dreams, have you ever pondered if your dreams are actually in love with you too? If they are lining up with your feelings and beliefs, so that you two can walk this thing about together? If that sounds like a crazy question, look at it this way—true love removes obstacles like pride, ego and arrogance. That said, let's not act like there aren't a ton of people out here whose dreams are rooted exactly in those things. And because of that, they aren't really in love with their dreams—they're in lust with the idea of what their dreams can do to further feed into their pride, ego and arrogance.
Dreams? More times than not, they are pure. They are precious. They are designed to bring out the best in us. If some of your dreams sense that you've got some cryptic or shady agendas…well, they may not love you as much as you "love" them. And so, they—and the universe—will actually do things to hinder your progress until some honesty, humility and gratitude—instead of that doggone sense of entitlement that so many folks tend to have—come into play. This is a good thing because the last thing that any of us need is for our dreams to become our worst nightmares.
While these eight points cannot guarantee that your dreams will become a reality, what I can assure you is the clarity these things are able to provide will get you closer than you've ever been—or position into a better spot. In the meantime, no matter what your thoughts, ideas or desires may be, don't doubt them. If they are meant to be and you're willing to put in the good work, they will manifest. In due time. The universe totally has your back on that.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Luxury Hairstylist On Viral 'Hey Boo' Texts & Professionalism In The Hair Industry
As Black women, our hair is our crowning glory - whether we paid for it or not. We take pride in how we wear and take care of our hair. As with everything, hair care and hair styling have evolved over the years. Long gone are the days of Blue Magic (although I hear it’s making a comeback).
Now, we have a plethora of creams, oils, conditioners, shampoos, and stylists to choose from. Beyond wearing our natural curls, we have a range of options, from wigs and sew-ins to tape-ins, I-tips, and K-tips. So much choice! But you know what they say about too much of a good thing...
The Black hair industry has definitely blossomed in the last decade with a wave of new stylists and salons popping up all over the place. As much as I love that for us, many of these stylists have become the subjects of viral TikTok and Instagram tirades because of their alleged questionable behavior and bizarre rules.
Excessive policies, strange fees, long wait times, poor performance, and the infamous “Hey boo” texts. Beauty is pain, they say… xoNecole got to the root of these issues with luxury hair extensionist Dee Michelle, who’s been in the hair game for 20 years and runs a seven-figure business - all while being a mom of four.
Antonio Livingston
“I started my business with my career in the hair industry [at] very, very young age when I was maybe like eight...So, over the years, I've just built a very successful seven-figure business very quickly just by offering high-end services and creating great experiences for my clients, many of whom are high-profile professionals,” she said. “I'm also a mother of four, including a set of triplets, which inspires me daily to show what's possible with my hard work and focus.”
Dee’s business has gone viral on social media because of what many call outrageous prices for her invisible K-Tip installs.
“When I developed my invisible K-tip extensions technique, I made sure that it wasn't just about the hair or the style, but about providing a high-end experience from start to finish. So, my clients just aren't paying for the extensions or just the style itself, but they're investing into my meticulous, seamless craft and premium hair sourced from the best suppliers…I've spent so many hours mastering my craft, creating this seamless method that gives my clients long-lasting natural results, and my pricing just reflects that - the value of my expertise and the exclusivity of the service.”
The K-tip specialist stands on business when it comes to catering to her clients and giving them an experience worth the cost.
“And it's just important for me to also say that my clients are high-profile individuals who value quality, their privacy, and their time. They want a service that fits into their lifestyle and their time. They want things that deliver perfection. And I deliver that every single time.”
I’m sure we’ve all seen the various TikTok rants about people’s nightmare experiences with stylists and uttered a silent “FELT!” We asked Dee her opinion on a few nightmare scenarios that beg the response, “please be so forreal."
On stylists charging extra to wash clients’ hair:
“I think they should just include it in the price, to be honest. Because I feel like when clients go to a stylist, they're expecting you to wash their hair. Personally, if I see that washing is extra, I just wouldn't go to the salon because it just shows a lack of professionalism, in my opinion, and a lack of experience.”
“I think they should just include it in the price, to be honest. Because I feel like when clients go to a stylist, they're expecting you to wash their hair. Personally, if I see that washing is extra, I just wouldn't go to the salon because it just shows a lack of professionalism, in my opinion, and a lack of experience.”
On ‘deposits’ that don’t go towards the cost of the service:
“I think that's kind of weird, too, for deposits to not be like a part of the service. I've seen people have booking fees and I just don't understand it, to be honest. I disagree with that kind of policy…By all means, people should do what works for them, but to me, it doesn't make sense. Why does somebody have to pay a fee just to book an appointment with you? I don't get it. It feels like exploitation.”
On stylists charging extra to style (straighten/curl) wigs, sew-ins etc., after installing:
“I don't get it. Clients come to us to get their hair done, to get it styled. So why is it extra for you to style it? If you're going to charge extra, just increase your price. I feel like it could be just a lack of confidence in those stylists, feeling like people won't pay a certain price for certain things, or just their lack of professionalism as well, because people are coming to us to get styled.”
On the infamous “Hey boo” text stylists send to clients when they need to cancel/reschedule:
“Professionalism in any industry, especially the beauty industry, is everything. So texting a client the, “Hey boo” is so unprofessional, and it's damaging to the client-stylist relationship. Clients book their appointments expecting a level of respect and care, especially when they're investing their time and money and a service. And I get it, emergencies happen, we're all humans. However, it should be done with a formal apology and a clear explanation.”
“Professionalism in any industry, especially the beauty industry, is everything. So texting a client the, “Hey boo” is so unprofessional, and it's damaging to the client-stylist relationship. Clients book their appointments expecting a level of respect and care, especially when they're investing their time and money and a service. And I get it, emergencies happen, we're all humans. However, it should be done with a formal apology and a clear explanation.”
We know all too well what kinds of things will keep us from ever gracing certain hairstylists’ chairs with our butts again. So, what should hairstylists do to provide a good service to their clients? What is good hairstylist etiquette?
“For one, being on time is an important rule for stylist etiquette. It's just not okay to require your clients to be on time, and you're not on time. Also, communication. Being able to communicate clearly, respectfully, and professionally, whether that's in person, via text, or on social media. Style is etiquette. Appearance matters. So just maintaining a clean, polished, and professional look. Clients respect you more whenever your appearance reflects your work. There's just so many things, but another thing I would say is active listening. So, being able to pay close attention to what your client wants and also clarifying any questions that they might have. Just to ensure that they feel heard and to minimize any misunderstandings.”
Dee also shared some red flags to look out for when considering a new stylist.
“Even me as a client, if I'm booking somebody and they have a long list of rules, I don't even book with them. That's, for one, just such a huge turn-off. Also, stylists who have inconsistent or unclear pricing, that's a red flag. People who change their rates too much without an explanation. Poor communication. So, if a stylist is responding very slow or responding unprofessionally, or giving vague answers to questions, that can make clients question whether or not they are respecting their time and their needs.
Another red flag - an inconsistent or low quality portfolio. And I feel like, I see this a lot with stylists stealing other people's work, and their portfolio on social media is just very inconsistent.”
We couldn’t let Dee go without getting the tea on what styles she predicts will trend in 2025.
“I feel like people are going back to natural-looking styles. So, a lot of people are ditching the wigs, the lace fronts, things like that. People are still wearing them, of course, but it is becoming more of a trend to embrace your natural hair and something that's not looking too fake. That’s one thing that we're going to be seeing a lot. I would say a lot of layers are coming back, heavy layers. Those are becoming really, really trendy. And people are leaning more towards platinum-colored hair. I've been seeing lots of like blondes coming out. Also, jet black is always going to be a trend. But I would say more like natural colors, but natural colors that are still making a statement.”
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Feature image by Antonio Livingston.
Can You Really Make Your Hair Grow Faster? Depends On How You Look At It.
Four years ago, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “Let's Gain An Inch A Month Of Hair Growth 'Til December, Shall We?” The main reason why I did it was because, I feel like almost every week, I will see someone on social media (male and female alike) say that Black women aren’t able to grow long hair — and boy, does it truly piss me off.
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a trillion times before: So long as your hair is growing, you can grow long hair. It might take longer than other people, yes — and I will get to win why in just a moment. However, more than anything, what affects length is length retention, and what impacts that is if you’re doing things that result in you losing the ends of your hair at about the same speed as the roots of your hair are growing in.
So, what are you saying, Shellie? If I really want some serious inches and/or I want my hair to grow faster, there are ways to do it? Believe it or not, the short answer to that is “yes.” Adding to that initial yes, YES, you will need to be methodical. YES, you will need to be consistent. YES, you will need to be patient. Yet if you’re willing to make that type of commitment and then apply at least 3-4 of the following 10 suggestions, you really could end up reaching hair goals that you’ve never been able to reach before.Inches upon inches…and even a bit faster than what you’ve been accustomed to experiencing.
I’ll Be Real With You: Genetics Dictates Speed, Texture, Color and Length — to an Extent
Okay, so let’s first get into something that can’t be helped via any tip or hack: genetics. When it comes to things like texture, color, density, and, to a certain extent, length — yes, that is predetermined by your DNA. This means that the reality is, the reason why some people can get hair down to their butt while others can’t seem to get past their bra strap is because hair has a growth cycle and some people’s anagen phase (the phase that literally determines how long your hair will grow) is simply longer than others.
When it comes to this, in particular, it’s also important to keep in mind that diet, age, and the condition of your health can also play a role in lengthening or shortening your anagen phase; however, so long as your hair is growing 1/4”-1/2” a month and you are able to retain length, you should be able to at least get a very nice lob (long bob) going.
Also, while we’re here, please don’t fall for the STRAIGHT UP LIE that only other ethnicities have longer anagen phases. Aside from the video that you just watched, examples like these here, here, here, here, here, here and here and here are living proof that regardless of ethnicity or texture, some women have hella long anagen phases — including many Black women.
And what about speed (which is the main focus of today’s piece)? Well, although there are some things that you can do to stimulate your hair follicles, which could get them to grow a bit faster, the main thing that you should be concerned with is taking such good care of your hair that you don’t end up breaking it off or causing it to weaken — because strong hair that can retain length is going to give the impression that your hair is growing faster because you aren’t losing any more of it than you actually should (which shouldn’t be more than 50-100 strands on a daily basis, by the way).
So, with all of the science stuff out of the way, here are 10 things that you can do that will either stimulate hair growth or help you maintain the locks that you’ve already got.
10 Proven Ways To Grow Your Hair Faster
1. Take a Multivitamin
When it comes to the gaslighting of health-related issues in this country — geeze, where do we start? For instance, how wild is it that “some folks” believe that taking a multivitamin is pointless? Meanwhile, pharma will push commercials down our throats — meds that come with side effects that are oftentimes worse than the health problem that it’s supposed to treat, to begin with. Not to mention the fact that research shows that over 90 percent of us don’t get enough vitamin D, almost 90 percent of us could use more vitamin E, 50 percent of us need more magnesium and around 40 percent of us are deficient as it relates to calcium as well as vitamins A and C.
So yes, while maintaining a healthy diet is the best way to get your system what it needs, if you want to “fill in some gaps,” a multivitamin can certainly be beneficial.
As far as your hair goes, your tresses need: zinc for healthy hair follicles; vitamin A to keep your scalp well-moisturized; vitamin C to boost collagen (and give your hair more elasticity); biotin to prevent hair thinning and hair loss; iron to provide your hair follicles with oxygen, and vitamin E to keep your scalp healthy and your hair moisturized — goodness! Instead of taking a lot of different supplements, decide instead to knock all of these nutrients out by taking one multivitamin on a daily basis. A list of some highly recommended brands can be found here.
2. Consume More Protein
Your hair is made up of mostly protein (keratin, to be exact), so it definitely needs some of that in order to thrive. In fact, some health experts say that if your hair isn’t growing at the rate that it should, it could be because you don’t have enough protein in your system. That said, if you’re a meat eater, steak, lamb, chicken, and turkey can all do your hair a lot of good. If you’re not, I actually penned an article with you in mind a while back. Check out “Vegetarian Or Vegan? Check Out These High Protein Foods.” when you get a chance.
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3. Try Some Coffee Beans on Your Scalp
In my opinion, coffee is always going to be a polarizing topic. On one hand, if you drink too much of it, it can cause a few problems with your health (check out “Your Morning Coffee May Be Causing More (Health) Issues Than You Think”). On the other, if you’re looking for ways to incorporate it into your beauty routine, it can bless you in some pretty unexpected ways (check out “Why Caffeine Is Great For You On The Beauty Regimen Tip”).
Take your scalp, for example. Using coffee as a hair rinse can help to keep the pH level of your scalp where it’s supposed to be. Also, if the beans are ground up, you can exfoliate your scalp with them in order to remove dead skin cells and product buildup so that your hair follicles are able to grow — sometimes faster since the caffeine that’s in coffee can help to stimulate hair growth.
4. Add Oil to Your Shampoo
When your hair is dry, that can lead to breakage because moisture is critical when you’re trying to keep some inches on your head. And you know what? When you shampoo your hair, although it’s cleansing your scalp and tresses (and stimulating your scalp which can help your hair to grow a bit faster), it’s also stripping your hair of its natural oils — and that isn’t a good thing.
A hack? Add a carrier oil like rosemary, olive, avocado, jojoba, or soybean, so that your shampoo won’t be able to dry your hair out so easily or much. (P.S. This is also a great tip if you don’t have a lot of time to deep condition your hair sometimes.)
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5. Never Go Without Bond Builder
Another article that I want you to check out when you get a chance is “Everything You Need To Know About Bond-Building Your Hair.” Listen, my life (hair-wise) has totally changed ever since I added this extra step into my wash day. That’s because bond-building products are able to reduce breakage, make your locks stronger, decrease frizz, make your hair softer and more manageable, and even help to protect your cuticles — especially if your hair happens to be color-treated. I’m telling you, if you didn’t get anything else out of this read, get you some bond-builder products.
My (current) personal favorites are Marc Anthony's Repairing Hair Mask, Repair Bond + Rescuplex, and Repairing Leave-In Conditioner. Just for the record.
6. Apply an Essential/Carrier Oil Blend to Your Scalp and Ends
It can never be said enough that the ends of your hair are the oldest parts of it. And so, if you don’t take care of them, I don’t care how fast your hair grows out of your scalp, you aren’t going to see much progress because your ends will be weak, split, or snapping off left and right. Something that you can do to avoid all of this is to apply an essential oil and carrier oil blend to them. For instance, a mixture of rosemary and cedarwood will not only strengthen your ends, it’s great for your scalp in the sense that it will help to increase blood circulation to your hair follicles (which can help your hair to grow faster) as well as soothe your scalp if it happens to be itchy and/or irritated.
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7. Use a Conditioning Spray on a Regular Basis
Something else that I would definitely do a free commercial for: Bronner Brothers's Smooth Sheen Conditioning Spray. Whew, chile! Since my hair can never seem to retain enough moisture (check out “Is Your Hair Dry No Matter What You Do? I Can Relate.”), this spray has been a real lifesaver in between wash days because, even though it “acts” like a regular oil sheen, I’ve yet to come across a spray (that isn’t wet) that keeps my hair super soft and manageable. Yeah, if your locks are on the drier side and you don’t want to add water to them, a conditioning spray is definitely the way to go.
8. Be “Drink Conscious”
A couple of years ago, I read an article that said that when men consume, even one soda on a daily basis, that could make them more susceptible to hair loss. That got me to wondering about what can be consumed that will help with hair growth. Carrot juice is like a multivitamin for your hair thanks to the vitamins A, B, C, and E that are in it to keep it strong as well as the antioxidants that help to increase blood flow; the high amount of water, as well as the potassium, iron, amino acids and vitamins C and K, help coconut water to deeply hydrate your scalp, strengthen your hair and reduce the potential for hair loss, and the properties in green tea can help to prevent hormonal hair loss.
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9. Massage Your Scalp (at Night)
Throughout this article, I’ve mentioned a few things that you can do to stimulate blood circulation to your scalp and hair follicles. I’ve also said that when you do that, it can help to speed up hair growth to a certain extent. Well, out of all of the things that you can (and should) do to accomplish this particular mission, giving yourself a scalp massage, at least a couple of times a week (for 10-15 minutes each time), is probably the most effective.
It reduces head tension and stress, helps to strengthen your hair over time and it can even make your hair strands thicker. My two cents would be to warm up an essential oil like lavender, thyme, or peppermint, add it to a bit of grapeseed oil (which is packed with antioxidants), and then use your fingertips to gently rub your scalp. Not only does it feel amazing, the oils will deeply condition and nourish your hair in the process.
10. Reduce Your Stress Levels
If you’ve heard before that stress can lead to hair loss and even premature graying — that’s not a myth; it’s totally true. As far as hair loss (and growth) goes, that’s because, when your cortisol levels are elevated, that can extend your hair’s resting phase — which basically means that it can “stunt” your hair’s progress. And chile, from where I’m sitting, that’s just one more reason to determine that you will not allow any person, place, thing, or idea to stress you out this year! Not only is it not good for your health, but it could also totally wreck your hair goals. And nothing is worth that, right? Precisely.
Chill out. Grow hair. That’s the motto for this year, sis. Straight up.
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Featured image by Manu Vega/Getty Images