

I've got quite a few male friends. Also, because of what I do for a living, I have many male clients too. While there are a billion-and-one reasons why I'm actually grateful to be able to say this, probably my top favorite one is that I get to hear a lot of men's innermost thoughts — things that sometimes they are hesitant to say because they're not sure how we'll take it and/or things they've never really felt comfortable being very open about and/or — and yes, this happens — things they never get asked their thoughts on and so, they never bring those things up.
Interestingly enough, this is something that falls into the "Door #3" category. Do men talk about sex? Y'all already know the answer to that. Yet when I asked 15 of them (middle names were used; usually are) about what they actually adore about what transpires during the actual act, I found the answers to be "Oh, really?" enough to share with y'all. With their permission, of course. #wink
Chavez. 25. Single.
"This is my kinda topic right here. Damn, I can only mention one thing? Hmm. I think what I like the most about sex is right when I enter into a woman. The sound she makes, the way our breathing shifts and how our bodies flow — damn, that's my s — t right there."
Kiran. 33. In a Relationship.
"This question needs to have a qualifier — if you're in a relationship or not. When I wasn't only having sex with one woman, I liked the newness of learning about someone's body that I had never been with before. That's seductive as hell. Now, I love to find a 'new spot' on my partner. It's like pushing a button that you didn't know led you to someplace you didn't realize you wanted to go."
Glenn. 27. Single.
"Assertive women are what I like. Someone who is like, 'We're gonna do it this way and you're gonna like it'. Women who just kinda lay there are boring. But a woman who likes to switch up positions, doesn't mind doing some tying up and tells me when it's time to go another round…that's the kind of sex that I'm all about."
DeShawn. 39. Married.
"I like it when a woman knows the difference between when I ejaculate and when I cum. My wife is really good at that. When she is able to give me an orgasm, my favorite part is trying to 'one up her' by trying to give her at least three more right after. Going down on her is my favorite way to do that."
Harold. 42. Divorced.
"It might sound wild but the thing I miss most about my ex is our sex life. Let's not get into all of that, though."
"Let me just say that what I liked was her dirty talk — barely above a whisper, nasty as f — k and super confident. People always talk about how visual men are. Yeah, we like to hear s — t too."
Armon. 35. In a Relationship.
"There is nothing like opening your eyes and seeing a beautiful woman on top of you. She's looking you dead in the eyes with a smirk on her face and riding you like she's about to eat you alive. Damn."
Gideon. 28. Single.
"Two things that a woman can't fake are her vagina contracting and her body getting wetter. That's why I don't understand how men can't pick up on ladies that fake it. Anyway, those are my favorite things. When you are in a zone and you can feel that you're turning your lady on, that s — t is absolutely amazin'."
Merlin. 29. Married.
"You ever spoon until you both cum and then fall asleep spooning in the same position afterwards? When you are so connected that you can have an orgasm at the same time and then you don't want it to end, so you let your man stay inside of you and you fall asleep like that? Get someone you can do that with all of the time. Nothin' better."
Michael. 44. Married.
"I like how my wife smells. I don't mean when she has an essential oil on. I mean, just her regular scent. It's crazy because when we're having sex, it's like I want to get as deep into her skin as possible — just take her all in."
Patrick. 23. Single.
"I like the time before intercourse happens. You both know that's where it's headed but you try and build up the anticipation for as long as possible."
"I know I probably seem young, but I've been having sex for a while and learning not to underestimate foreplay is the ultimate sex hack. When two people make each other want each other, that's when the sex is really great."
Orrin. 32. Divorced.
"I like getting my head pulled in. You know you're doing a great job going down on a woman when all she can do is breathe really fast and pull your head in. Hell yeah."
Hayes. 48. Single.
"There is nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, like the taste of a woman. Her mouth tastes one way. Her skin tastes another way. And her walls — there's nothing like it. I can just lick and kiss for hours and be perfectly content. What's crazy is while women might think it's for them, it's actually for me. Tasting a woman is what I love the most."
Kristopher. 32. Single.
"'Round three is what I love about sex. The first one is all about getting the stress out. The second is about building some stamina. Three? That's when it's all about just enjoying your partner. There's no rush. There's no pressure. You're just 'in it'. I like being in it."
Danyel. 40. In a Relationship.
"You know what I really like? Undressing a woman. I like lingerie but I honestly don't care what she has on. It doesn't matter how long I've been with her either. The build-up of seeing different parts of her body as I go at my own pace…it's like unwrapping a Christmas gift, damn near every time."
Everson. 36. Single.
"Whenever a woman trusts you enough to let you literally enter into her being, there is no higher privilege. Might sound like a line to some but it's the truth. Being one with someone whose energy and spirit you vibe with already gives you a climax before one ever happens."
"Will never know how to get enough of that."
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Adrian Marcel On Purpose, Sacrifice, And The 'Signs Of Life'
In this week's episode of xoMAN, host Kiara Walker talked with R&B artist Adrian Marcel, who opened up, full of heart and authenticity, about his personal evolution. He discussed his days transitioning from a young Bay Area singer on the come-up to becoming a grounded husband and father of four.
With honesty and introspection, Marcel reflected on how life, love, and loss have shaped the man he is today.
On ‘Life’s Subtle Signals’
Much of the conversation centered around purpose, sacrifice, and listening to life’s subtle signals. “I think that you really have to pay attention to the signs of life,” Marcel said. “Because as much as we need to make money, we are not necessarily on this Earth for that sole purpose, you know what I mean?” While he acknowledged his ambitions, adding, “that is not me saying at all I’m not trying to ball out,” he emphasized that fulfillment goes deeper.
“We are here to be happy. We are here [to] fulfill a purpose that we are put on here for.”
On Passion vs. Survival
Adrian spoke candidly about the tension between passion and survival, describing how hardship can sometimes point us away from misaligned paths. “If you find it’s constantly hurting you… that’s telling you something. That’s telling you that you’re going outside of your purpose.”
Marcel’s path hasn’t been without detours. A promising athlete in his youth, he recalled, “Early on in my career, I was still doing sports… I was good… I had a scholarship.” An injury changed everything. “My femur broke. Hence why I always say, you know, I’m gonna keep you hip like a femur.” After the injury, he pivoted to explore other careers, including teaching and corporate jobs.
“It just did not get me—even with any success that happened in anything—those times, back then, I was so unhappy. And you know, to a different degree. Like not just like, ‘I really want to be a singer so that’s why I’m unhappy.’ Nah, it was like, it was not fulfilling me in any form or fashion.”
On Connection Between Pursuing Music & Fatherhood
He recalled performing old-school songs at age 12 to impress girls, then his father challenged him: “You can lie to these girls all you want, but you're really just lying to yourself. You ain't growing.” That push led him to the piano—and eventually, to his truth. “Music is my love,” Marcel affirmed. “I wouldn’t be a happy husband if I was here trying to do anything else just to appease her [his wife].”
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I Tried It: 3 Low-Maintenance Wigs That Will Elevate Your Look This Season
There's nothing like the feeling you get when your hair is done. It can instantly boost your confidence and put you in a great mood. I've never been a stranger to hair trends and I often experiment with the latest braided styles and colors.
But there are moments when I just don't feel like doing my hair. I'm natural and a lot of times I will braid or twist my hair up and cover it with a scarf or turban. However, when I crave a different look without the hassle of styling, I reach for a wig.
I've always had a love-hate relationship with wigs. Sometimes, I struggle to get them to lay flat and don't get me started with the bonding glue process. So when it comes to wearing wigs, I like to keep it nice and breezy around this b--- (word to Katt Williams), especially in the summertime.
That's why I jumped at the chance to try these three versatile wigs from Luvme Hair. Each one offers a unique look and is surprisingly low maintenance, which aligns perfectly with my philosophy that wearing wigs should make life easier. Let’s dive into the three styles below.
Headband Wig
Courtesy
This was the first wig I tried on, and I instantly fell in love with it. So much so that it took me weeks to even consider trying the other two. I’m partial to colored hair, especially blonds, browns, and reds, so I was skeptical about the jet black hair. However, I think the color, combined with the curl pattern, worked surprisingly well for me.
One of the things I really liked about this wig was that I didn’t have to braid my hair down first. I could simply throw it over a low ponytail, which is the epitome of a low-maintenance style. The headband has combs inside and velcro on the ends, ensuring a secure fit.
Half Wig
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I had never worn a half wig before, so I faced some challenges. I cornrowed the bottom half of my hair where the wig would sit, but I believe this made it more difficult to use the combs. It might just be me though. I straightened the top part of my hair to blend it with the wig, which looked cute for about five minutes.
Firstly, I have a brown/blonde color mix on the ends of my hair, and the half wig is black. So, I had to hide some of the color (I didn’t have time to dye the wig). Secondly, straightening my hair myself is always a hassle because it never lasts long. Add to that the summer humidity, and you get a hot mess. Despite all this, I managed to get some cute pictures before things got out of control, and that’s all that matters, right?
Would I consider this a low-maintenance hair style? Yes and no. I think it’s unrealistic for me during the summer, especially since I enjoy summer activities. However, when the weather cools down, I’ll definitely rock it, dyed, of course.
Bob
Courtesy
Now, this is the wig I was nervous about. I never had a bob and I didn't think I would like it. But once I put bobiana on, my mind instantly changed. I finally understood why the gworls rave about the bob so much. It was giving boss. It was giving grown woman. It was giving the bob means business. Iykyk. It was the ultimate statement.
I will say when I first put it on, one side of my wig just would not lay flat. It took some trial and error, but I finally managed to get it to look good. With the bob, I highly recommend braiding your hair down first as small as you can so it can lay as flat as possible. I really liked the ash blonde color, which is perfect for summer. The length also makes it a great low-maintenance style for the season, so you don't have to worry about the hair making your neck sweaty.
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