True Sex Stories From Black Women That Will Get You...There!
Erotic literature, sex stories, freaky tales, whatever you want to call it, most of us have had our fair share of indulging in some pretty sexy stories. Whether you were reading Eric Jerome Dickey back in the day, came across a Reddit sex story thread, or simply listening to a girlfriend talk about a sexual encounter, hearing real sex stories is fun!
Reading erotic fiction gives you the opportunity to pretty much imagine yourself in the scene as you fulfill your unquenched sexual desires. Or maybe even re-imagine the best sex experience you ever had. Either way, you will be surprised how much reading true sex stories or can get you aroused and ready to let all your inhibitions go.
And ladies (and gents), there is no shame in wanting to explore this side of your sexuality. Do you! Here are some of the top real sex confessions submitted to xoNecole.
7 Juicy Real Life Sex Confessions That Will Leave You Speechless
Here's a quick guide to help you navigate which story might pique your interest the most...keep scrolling for the juicy details.
1. Fantasy Erotica
2. Sex Addict
3. One Night Stand
4. Swingers
5. Masturbation
6. First Orgasm
7. Threesomes
sharon leal love GIFGiphy
1. Fantasy Erotic Sex Stories
"I remember asking him to take me thrifting with him one day, but I ultimately just decided to invite him to come over (because really, who am I kidding?) What was supposed to be catch up and wine down quickly evolved into something more, as he pulled me into his lap after my first glass. His lips grazed my neck, coaxing me to meet his mouth with my own. I was more than ready to succumb to my desire. The motion of one movement to another was like water. I remember laying back on my bed after pulling my shorts down and him lifting my leg to put my toes in his mouth. It tickled and bite back a soft moan, but truth be told, I didn't want him there.
I flipped on my stomach to change the song that played on shuffle, and swiftly he moved to take me from behind, pulling my panties to the side so that he could taste me. Everything about it felt so heightened for some reason. And the bliss that radiated throughout my entire body, sparking a fire on my skin had me absolutely delirious. I didn't think it could be any more intense, but when he entered me, it was like the levees to my euphoria broke. I was underneath his spell, writhing and arching up into him.
Heat and electricity and wetness met to form an explosive harmony as we rocked and rode the rhythm our lovemaking created. I found myself coming undone so many times at the call of his stroke, his chaste kisses, and my desperate hands that marred trails along the length of his back. Further evidence of my pleasure. I came twice before he announced his arrival, and then I came again."
2. Sex Addict Sex Stories
"A few weeks before my 40th birthday, I went through a societal modern-day two-month relationship with a self-proclaimed alpha male that quickly grew into sex addiction. For me, it was true. Sex really was overrated.
I eventually grew lonely for companionship and accepted a birthday date from a guy that had been pursuing me for quite some time. I just turned 40, and felt like if I didn't at least give it another chance, then I wasn't being fair to myself.
After four dates, the sexual chemistry had boiled over. That star-filled and magical night, we ended up engaged in a wild bout for control, all while completely naked. I felt like a lioness in the jungle. The fear and excitement of being caught and tamed to submission melted my core. He handled me with care, but not fear. The passion and the height of voice that I thought I could never reach played syllables off of his walls. I was sick with defeat and weak in praise. The next morning, that awkward walk of shame was a walk of fame for me as I felt like a new woman bouncing down to that Uber car with my thong in my purse.
There were no inhibitions on my behalf, I was sexually open for him. You couldn't tell me anything; I was ready for more and I got more. I went back every weekend for six months."
Goodreads
3. One Night Stand Sex Confessions
"It was my second trip to Jamaica and I was extremely excited. I went with a group and stayed in these awesome villas. The first time I met our butler, I felt a connection. His accent made me melt. There is something about Jamaica that makes me feel bolder.
On my last day there, I really wanted to see him, so I asked one of the other butlers to find him for me. I was chilling by the pool, waiting to go to the airport and the next thing I knew, I was told that I had a visitor. It was him. We talked, exchanged contact info, and I headed to the airport, only to miss my flight. I didn't care.
I called him to tell him that I missed my flight and when I got back to the villa, he was there waiting for me. He looked so yummy! I was excited and nervous at the same time. He took me out the back way on a golf cart to his villa and he held and kissed my hand the whole ride. I was in heaven. We arrived where he was staying and all inhibitions were out the window.
We had the most amazing sex...in the hot tub, in the bed…I didn't want to leave.
He asked me to stay with him for the night but I didn't want anyone to see me doing the "walk of shame" the next morning, so I had him take me back to my room. We hugged and kissed, and I was happy at that moment. It had been nine months since I had been with anyone and that Jamaican man was JUST what I needed! He showed me respect, kindness, gentleness, and the sex was unforgettable!"
4. Swinger Erotica Sex Story
"Ever since starting my Master's in Human Sexuality I became intrigued with the idea of testing and pushing my boundaries with eroticism. As you may have presumed, this has left me more curious than ever about the kink community. In a desperate search for a play party, I found a seductive swingers club and invited my roommate to come out with me. The minute I walked in, there were rooms on either side of me equipped with makeshift beds and white towels.
At the end of the hall, by the first level bar, there was a couple having sex ever-so-casually on the lounge chairs. I was exhilarated! We went upstairs and headed over to the bar before cozying up in a middle booth. The first thing I did was scope out the room to find Black people and at first, there was nothing, but as it got a little later, the place became slightly peppered with melanated couples making me lucky as the only single.
As I watched the couple, I remember feeling my clitoris shoot off smoke flares through my pants as I tried to simmer down.
Although I'm never aroused by women giving head in porn, there was something about watching this woman bob and weave on her partner's solid dick that created a tension in my body that could only escape me one way. Doubting myself and what I came for, I kept telling my roommate that I couldn't wait to get home and masturbate. She reminded me that I was more than welcome to do so at the party, a refreshingly new experience to not have to leave the club when you grew too horny of dry humping on the dance floor but I wasn't ready for all of that.
Or so I thought.
I spent another hour watching this couple, playing coy, and making bathroom runs to get their attention before they and another black couple disappeared from the main floor. Still mesmerized by the one couple, I completely disregarded the other, and finally, after coming up for air, the woman asked me if I wanted to join in.
With minimal hesitation, I hopped up and quickly began mimicking oral sex with the same energy she had been giving him just five minutes earlier. I could see why she was so into it and quite frankly, I forgot what it was like to be so attracted to someone that giving head turned me on uncontrollably. After a short while, I was asked to join them in a private room and I did."
5. Masturbation Sex Confessions
"So masturbation is seriously an amazing hobby of mine. I woke up and rolled over to my goody drawer to begin my morning routine of getting a couple of orgasms out of the way before going about my day.
Usually, I'm a pretty quick and to-the-point self-lover but there were moans, sheet grabbing, and real-life seduction as if I wasn't laying in my covers by my damn self. And it was a stomach-piercing feeling that caused me to suck the air from my lungs back in.
My breathing was nonexistent. Hell, I didn't even realize I was holding my breath until the liquid shot out of me. This orgasm was long as hell and very rambunctious. I tried to gain control of the muscles down there but it just couldn't happen.
After I had collected myself, I couldn't even try to manage another out like usual. I got up to begin my day and a big ass wet spot was where I had been, proof that the clitoral stimulator sex toy had just pushed every important person in my life one spot to the left to make room for this!"
6. First Orgasm Sex Story
"Despite what my language might suggest, I was content with sex without orgasms. It always felt like a performative act that if wasn't achieved took a hit to my partner's ego.
In one night he changed my mind about orgasms. He showed me the glory of how it feels to pulsate around someone and writhe through waves of pleasure while touching another person in an act of deep intimacy. It happened so quickly and so effortlessly, without a strategically placed finger or a beckon for it at his lips. It was pure passion and my willingness to surrender to the spotlight I had always shied away from, a spotlight I drew closer to solely because he didn't ask it of me. He got me. He taught me that surrender does not mean I have been conquered.
He taught me that sex was a walk, not a race.
A combination of the sensuality of our act, the intensity, and how perfectly he fit within me made sex feel like nothing I ever felt before. He was like nothing I ever felt before. I let go. He didn't speed up his stroke at my center's fluttering, instead, he kept steady in his movements. Slow, deep, purposeful strokes. My legs were on his shoulders, he bit my calf muscle and moaned in response to feeling me grip around him. 'There we go baby,' he whispered against me. And I fell, surrendered to it and him completely. I was his."
7. Threesome Sex Stories
"Back in undergrad, one of my closest friends also happened to be my roommate. She was going through a bad breakup and after a night of my then-boyfriend and I listening to her whine about it, I randomly said, 'We're going to have sex now. You're welcome to join. That may help get your mind off of things.' With very little hesitation, she asked for 30 minutes to clean herself up (shave and whatnot), and not too long after that we all fucked.
"Having sex with my best friend and my boyfriend for my first threesome was great. Knowing that I trusted them and we all were very familiar with one another definitely made us all more comfortable. I do think my boyfriend was having a mental conflict. He wasn't able to keep a hard-on with my best friend. After the threesome was over, he had to finish in our room with me. The days following were pretty normal. We laughed about it, but there were no awkward moments."
Read more threesome erotic sex stories via…
There is something exhilarating about confessing your kinky sex experience to total strangers, especially anonymously and we love to see it! If you are ready to take things up a notch and get into more visual stimulation, check out these steamy movies that are basically porn on Netflix.
Also, be sure to visit our story archives to indulge in more content around sex. Yes, sexual health counts towards your total wellness and should not be something to shy away from out of embarrassment.
Whatever way you decide to please yourself sexually it is totally up to you. And just know, reading erotic fiction is nothing to be ashamed of at all. No judgment from us!
Featured image by Shutterstock
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Navigating Dating When Emotionally Unavailable & Detached: My Journey Back To Feeling
The last time I came with a dating story, I told you I got my little feelings hurt in 2021. I called myself trying to be out in these streets entertaining a man in a different area code, city, and state — only for homeboy to play in my damn face. So, I went and gave y’all "8 Rules To Casual Dating Every Woman Should Know This Summer." You’re welcome. Fast forward to 2024, and I am now coming to you from a more mature and intentional place. We’re not in summer yet, but I truly believe what blooms in spring, thrives in summer.
2023 was my year, and it was my turn. I had just completed an 8-month holistic detox. The glow-up was real and well-deserved. The way I have poured into myself is unmatched. Let me tell you, self-love is a love you have never known. After a five-year healing journey, I finally felt like myself again, and I was ready to play. My heart was open, my mind was clear, and my body hella transformed. I had told all my friends that I was ready to explore dating again, and at the height of summer, I did exactly just that.
This time I decided I wanted to take my time. I wanted to date the “right way” or the “healthy way.” You know, keep your options open, ask the right questions, believe actions and not words, observe patterns and pay attention to red, yellow, and green flags. I was never the dating app type of girl. I sincerely miss everything about human connection and dating from 2000 to 2012. Can we please bring all of that back into 2024? I prefer to feel a man’s energy and presence in real-time. Nonetheless, I still chose to dabble with a few dating apps. I was all the way outside and dating for practice.
Unfortunately, with today’s dating culture, social climate, and how some of these men move and/or behave, these dates were a dead end. Not one guy made it to my roster. What these men were was benched this season – not one of them could be my first-round select draft pick. It didn't seem like anyone I met was interested in a serious relationship. And it’s completely fine. Miss me with the ghosting, lack of effort, inconsistency, and poor communication. I continued to just do me because what is for me will not miss me.
Kelvin Murray/ Getty Images
The universe must have heard me talking because I had specifically told my closest girlfriends that I wanted to meet someone who lived in the vicinity, no more than twenty minutes away, and no more long distance. And I did meet him (it’s crazy how I manifest exactly what I want). As we started to get to know each other, I liked his energy and effort. I liked the direction it seemed to be going to the point my girlfriends had to tell me not to run from him. Because every part of me wanted to run from something that seemed normal.
I liked what he was coming with until I became uncomfortable with my own feelings, and I didn’t know how to communicate them to him.
With that said, I knew if I truly wanted to experience the truest of loves, a reciprocal, requited love, and be in a healthy relationship this story had to come to a pause. What I didn’t know was that he was going to show me things I didn’t know I needed to work on. I didn’t know he inadvertently was going to help me continue to heal parts of me that were hidden.
As someone who has learned to self-heal, I am no longer the type that runs from herself. I am here for the growth.
The truth is I am emotionally detached from myself, and I am not actively dating at the moment. I am the one that has to work on herself. My reiki healer called it, too – she told me this year would not be a year for a relationship, but a year of continuous growth. And now I see why. After all the healing work I have done thus far – I am an unemotional mess. How?
At my big age of 39, I struggle to communicate my wants and needs.
I still struggle to communicate and process uncomfortable feelings. I would rather give myself anxiety, act nonchalantly, emotionally react, and choose non-communication when I am bothered with someone than address the issue (I will later explain why). I have been ignoring my feelings for so long it has become a habit, a defense mechanism, and more so a trauma response.
If you are someone like me who grew up in a household that didn’t discuss feelings, your emotional needs were unmet, and you don’t feel safe to share your feelings – emotional detachment is quite common.
Oftentimes, we always talk about men being emotionally unavailable, but what if it’s a woman who is emotionally unavailable or emotionally detached? How does she navigate herself, dating, or being in a relationship? As I navigate my emotions this season, let’s explore what it means to be emotionally detached, the signs of detachment, and how to reconnect with yourself emotionally.
Emotional Unavailability vs. Emotional Detachment
When we look at the terminology emotional unavailability and emotional detachment, one might argue that the two terms are interchangeable and have the same meaning. One could also argue that both terms mean that some people are not in tune with their emotions or lack the emotional capacity to be responsive to someone else’s emotions. Fair enough. However, there is a big difference. The definition of emotional unavailability is described as people who have difficulty with sharing their emotions and being receptive to the emotions of those around them.
According to Verywell Mind, signs of emotional unavailability can look like being distant or cold, lack of closeness, and emotional intimacy in relationships, inability to understand and relate to others’ feelings, defensiveness when asked to change or let others in, tendency to shut down or avoid topics that require emotional openness, or withdrawal from people or situations that provoke emotional reactions.
Whereas emotional detachment is defined as the inability to or willingness to connect with others on an emotional level. Furthermore, Psychology Today states emotional detachment can also mean that people do not engage with their feelings. Exhibit A – me. Emotional detachment has various causes – past neglect, childhood or adult trauma, PTSD, depression, personality disorder, bipolar disorder, substance abuse, or, in some cases, medication (i.e. antidepressants). It is important to note emotional detachment is a complex issue. For someone like me, it’s a coping mechanism.
It is easier for me to ignore uncomfortable feelings to protect myself from stress or getting hurt. Hence, my nonchalant demeanor. It is also true for some people it is a reaction to trauma, abuse, and unprocessed emotions. Exhibit B – me. As it is difficult for me to open up about my feelings at the moment. On the contrary – emotional detachment can be helpful in navigating some situations like listening to people’s opinions and gossip.
Unfortunately, emotional detachment is not a behavior that can be turned on and off at will. Please note that emotional detachment is NOT a mental health diagnosis but can be a symptom of a mental health condition such as an attachment disorder. And if you know anything about attachment theory, it is related to the relationship we develop in our childhood with our primary caregivers.
Signs You're Emotionally Detached
Mavocado/ Getty Images
According to Psychology Today and Verywell Mind, general signs of emotional detachment can look like difficulty showing empathy to others, sharing emotions, committing to a relationship, feeling numb, poor listening skills, lack of self-esteem, preferring to be alone, struggling to feel positive emotions, inability to identify emotions, lack of physical, verbal, or sexual contact and losing touch with people or maintaining connections.
In a romantic relationship, emotional detachment shows up as you or your partner not being available for connection, poor communication, or reduced affection.
For me, my experience with emotional detachment is collective. I am an empath to my core. I don’t have a problem relating to other’s feelings or circumstances. I don’t have commitment issues, nor do I have an issue connecting with others or maintaining those connections. I struggle with sharing emotions, at least the negative ones.
Due to the emotional abuse from my childhood and a toxic relationship, I learned sharing emotions just wasn't the safe thing to do. As a survivor of trauma, I learned to suppress feeling negative emotions in general as a form of protection.
How To Reconnect To Your Emotions When You're Emotionally Unavailable
Serious Kid Cudi GIF by Apple MusicGiphyExploring my emotional side in-depth started late last year simply by noticing my reaction to something that he did. I didn’t know how to properly communicate to him how I was feeling or what he did bothered me in the moment. So, I swallowed my feelings and said absolutely nothing. I intentionally chose to avoid the issue. I chose to rationalize the situation instead of acknowledging that my feelings at the time were valid. I chose to act like everything was all good because it was all good.
“It wasn’t that deep to begin with” is what I told myself. And this is where the problem lies.
The saying is true, “What happens in your childhood shows up in your adult relationships.” I came to realize that because I was not able to express my feelings as a child, I struggled to process them. I either hold back my feelings, take a long time to say how I feel, or don’t say anything at all. This is because I fear people will walk away from me like my mother did if I share what I truly feel. I fear my feelings won’t be validated, or they will be rejected.
With that said, I was completely unaware that I was emotionally detached from myself until recently. So, here we are with this article. It all started by reading Instagram’s @theholisticpsychologist, Dr. Nicole LePera’s newest book How to Be the Love You Seek: Break Cycles, Find Peace, and Heal Your Relationships, which was released on November 28, 2023. As I read through the first chapter, I became triggered.
How Dr. LePera describes her childhood with her parents and experiences with her romantic partners somewhat mirrored my experiences with my own parents and relationships. As Dr. LaPera stated in her book, I have no issue showing up for others or meeting their needs and wants. But when it comes to expressing my own needs and wants – I cannot or I don’t. This is mainly due to my hyper-independence.
At an early age, I learned to show up for myself because the people I trusted to show up for me failed. Given my home environment, I had internalized it is not safe to talk about feelings. I never knew my emotional responses and behavior were abnormal. But because I am willing to continue to do my inner work, I know that I can reconnect to my emotions, and undo four decades of repressed emotions.
If you are someone like me who struggles with emotional connection with yourself and others, here is how you go about it:
Lighthouse Films/ Getty Images
1. Know Your Attachment Style
For me, the first step was to understand my attachment style. I asked my therapist if she could help me identify my attachment style to understand my triggers. She recommended The Attachment Theory Workbook by Annie Chen, LMFT. My therapist administered the associated online quiz – Attachment Quiz. If you haven’t figured out my attachment style yet by reading this article, I have an anxious attachment style.
This means I don’t do well with inconsistent behavior, especially from men (but I’m the type that holds men to standards too). People with an anxious attachment style have a need to feel close to their partner. It may come across as “clingy” or “needy.” However, this same need is often driven by fear of abandonment, mistrust, and low self-esteem. I would say knowing your attachment style is helpful because you can work towards having a secure attachment style (with practice) in your relationships – familial, business, work, platonic, or romantic.
2. Become Self-Aware
Most people who are not in the practice of self-care or self-healing are unaware of their triggers, patterns, and behaviors. We are so caught up in the daily minutiae of life that we forget to pay attention to the most important part of our days — ourselves. As Dr. LePera says, make it a conscious habit to pause throughout your day to check in with yourself. Ask yourself:
- How does my body feel?
- What am I doing right now?
- Am I present?
- Am I distracted and lost with other thoughts?
- What do I think or feel when I recall a specific experience with someone?
- What do I think or worry about?
- What would happen if I shared my authentic thoughts, perspective, feelings right now?”
This is what Dr. LePera refers to as exploring your embodied self or fulfilling your authentic needs in chapter two of her book. Consistent mindfulness and self-awareness are key to self-discovery and in any healing journey. Learning to focus on the present moment also includes paying attention to our emotional response to an event or how we think about emotions in general.
3. Practice Vulnerability
The idea of vulnerability is a tough one for me and so many other women for countless reasons. Whether it be toxic family, friendships, relationships, or trauma – trusting others with your thoughts and feelings is not easy. As much as I am open and transparent, I am not as vulnerable. And I believe there is so much power in the duality to be both. To trust someone, let alone a man with your authentic self is a delicate matter.
But it is emotional vulnerability that allows us humans to build authentic connections, create stronger relationships, and break down emotional walls. Emotional vulnerability is not something to be rushed – it takes time and practice from you and the people you choose to have in your life. Medical News Today suggests that we can learn to be vulnerable by opening up more to our closest friends, building our ability to become more trusting, and developing skills to regulate our emotions.
4. Seek Therapy
I have been in therapy for six years and counting. I would consider therapy one of my safe spaces. I am one of those individuals who recommend therapy to everyone as it has given me the tools and resources I need to navigate my life challenges. By choosing to get help, I was able to put my PTSD and depression in remission for four years now. I have also learned how to manage my anxiety.
I am fully aware that in this season of my life requires me to do the work to unlock new levels of self. And any time where I have consciously chosen growth – the universe or life has not failed me. I was able to heal my body, my heart, and my spirit. Now, it’s time to heal my inner child, this hurt little girl who lives in me.
I will say choosing a therapist is similar to dating; you might go through a few potentials until you find a therapist you connect with. Actually, one of my lifelong friends said to me the other day, “Your relationship with your therapist is one of the most important relationships in your life.” I needed her to say that, and I needed to hear it because it’s true. You are essentially trusting a licensed stranger to help you navigate your life on so many levels.
Be picky and ask the questions. Cut the cord at the first red flag given. Again, let me reiterate that emotional detachment is not a mental health diagnosis. It can be treated with the help of a therapist. Emotional detachment only becomes a problem when it starts to interfere with your daily life. Pay attention to changes in your daily behavior and make decisions to cope accordingly.
I am genuinely excited about reconnecting with my emotions. I want to feel all the feels – good, bad, and indifferent. I want to cry all the tears – especially the sad ones. I want to process and release negative emotions. I want to say how I feel in the moment with no fear.
If you are that girl who struggles with emotional connection or thinks you're emotionally detached, I hope that you become willing to face your inner child and show up for her. Don’t run – she has been waiting for you.
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