From 9-To-5 To Self-Made: How To Transition Into Self-Employment Without Going Broke

Taking a leap from working for a company to self-employment is not easy, but if you're thinking about doing it, you'll be among many other ambitious women. According to Forbes, self-employment rates went up among us post-pandemic. Women represent at least 40 percent of all self-employed professionals, an increase from 34 percent in 2016.
According to other research, among women-owned businesses, 90 percent have no employees. Ninety-six percent of Black-owned businesses, overall, have no employees. Self-employment has also been deemed an “essential part of the economic stability of mothers,” with women launching their own sole proprietorships and side hustles (or freelancing their skills to brands and companies) in order to have time and earnings flexibility.
Women left their jobs in droves during the Great Resignation, and although some have returned to work, many, like myself, are still riding self-employment until the wheels fall off. Leaving a stable job with benefits to go off on your own, you might be thinking, "Well, how will I pay my bills? I've got a lifestyle to uphold."
Here's what has helped me and many others in planning to make an exit from a 9-to-5 to pursue dreams of working for ourselves:
1. Tighten up that spending and map out an adjusted budget for your future self-employment life.
This is almost like budgeting backward. Think about what you'd like your life to look like once you've gone off on your own, and figure out a ballpark figure of how much that lifestyle will cost. Be sure to note the non-negotiables first (like childcare, housing, food, education, social life, church, and other expenses already part of your budget that you refuse to compromise on).
Get clear on why you're pursuing self-employment in the first place (i.e., to travel full-time, downsize in order to live simpler, focus on mental health, prioritize stay-at-home parenting, or retire early) and what lifestyle aspects might change because of your choice.
This will help inform the budget you put together that will prompt actions to lead to your tomorrow, not those that are sustaining you today.
Do you need to fast from Amazon purchases for six months to a year in order to save up? Do you need to purchase more insurance policies? Do you need to set aside funds to invest in a website or get more training in order to step fully into self-employment? Do you need to move to a smaller home, get a roommate, or decline more than a few happy hours in order to have enough money to feel confident in leaving your job?
2. Set a number and a deadline for when you'll resign so that you can follow a deliberate savings plan to reach a specific goal.

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If you want to have a certain quality of life once self-employed, figure out that dream number and then work toward achieving that (or at least build habits that will get you to that number once you're self-employed for good.)
And set a deadline for leaving in order to plan savings accordingly. For example, if I were working a 9-to-5 and needed $20,000 in order to feel secure enough to quit my job (with the consideration that I might possibly be without steady income for the first six months and need to cover basic bills during that time), I'd need to save up little over $3,300 a month for six months in order to do that.
You can break down the cost in months, weeks, or years, depending on your deadline, timeline to resign, and financial obligations you'll still need to cover once you quit your job.
3. Talk with a financial adviser, bank rep, or accountant to help you crunch some numbers.
If you find the thought of leaving a job and going the self-employed route stressful when it comes to financially planning the shift, get some help. Many credit unions and banks offer resources and professionals who can let you know what shifts you might need to make financially or give you a real sense of how you're already spending money so that you can adjust your budget to save and plan financially for your new future.
Be sure if you go with an accountant that they're certified and that they have experience working with entrepreneurs or self-employed professionals. They might also be able to suggest ballpark figures for changes in taxes and interest rates that might need to be considered (or at least lead you into thinking about those things so you can take your questions to a tax expert).
Get the help you need so that you can arm yourself with information to fight fear and really take the action you need to set yourself up financially to transition into self-employment.
4. Use spreadsheets and other tech tools to help you track your plan and allow you to easily see the progress you're making in saving up and prepping for self-employment.
Sometimes spreadsheets can seem a bit complicated and annoying to use, but if you're good at creating and using them, please do. If you're not, there are templates you can use for budgeting that are perfect for setting up your "Quit My Job And Go Self-Employed" budget. You'll want to think about how much you can reasonably save, plus other ways to cut costs that won't drastically impact your quality of life, work output, or mental health.
If your bank has an app that tracks your spending and allows for organizing the information to track it, use that feature. You can also use budgeting apps to track your spending, offer reminders, or alert you of limits you've set so you can reach certain goals.
5. Start landing contracts and clients while you're employed.

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It might not be ideal to fast-track your quit date if you don't have savings or some other form of financial help, but if the pressure will motivate you, by all means, put things into high gear. I had very little savings when I left a job to go self-employed, and thank God it worked out, but I've learned through the years that the transition would have been a lot easier had I saved a bit more before resigning. I literally could have stayed an extra nine months to a year, gotten more clients and experience, and been a bit less stressed in my self-employment transition.
Even if your plan is two years from now, within those two years, you should be building up a framework that allows you to make more money today. Network, build that website, start offering your skills on a freelance basis as a side hustle, and funnel that money into savings for your future when you're fully self-employed. Talk to someone about investing some of those savings so that they can grow.
As long as what you're doing on the side is in alignment with any employment contracts and policies and does not jeopardize your standing at your day job, you can start squirreling money you're earning today doing what you will one day leave your job to do full time.
When I left my job years ago, I got my first client through a referral from someone I knew in my industry. My next one was also a referral---someone I'd worked with while being employed full-time at a company. By the time my little savings had run out, I'd already landed contracted work that guaranteed a certain amount of money, covering my bills through a certain period of time.
From there, I planned accordingly in order to increase my earnings, adding in clauses and other amendments in contracts to protect myself financially.
Transitioning into self-employment doesn't look the same financially for everyone, and some of us have to make real sacrifices in order to build up to the future life we want. For me, that included radically cutting out a few things I loved, leaving an apartment and going fully digital nomad, and maybe even taking on a few odd jobs in order to add to my savings in order to quit.
For you, it might look like cashing out that 401K (I did that, too, but beware of the penalties, as this should really be a last resort option.) For others, it might be using that "new car fund" to fund your life while you're working to land new clients from a beach paradise somewhere or living the exact same quality of life you had at your 9-to-5 because you were great with your savings, have help in the form of a spouse, or come into a cash settlement or inheritance.
However it looks for you, be smart with what you have, think positively and strategically about how you can realistically finance your transition, and utilize an exit plan that makes the transition much easier.
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Because We Are Still IT, Girl: It Girl 100 Returns
Last year, when our xoNecole team dropped our inaugural It Girl 100 honoree list, the world felt, ahem, a bit brighter.
It was March 2024, and we still had a Black woman as the Vice President of the United States. DEI rollbacks weren’t being tossed around like confetti. And more than 300,000 Black women were still gainfully employed in the workforce.
Though that was just nineteen months ago, things were different. Perhaps the world then felt more receptive to our light as Black women.
At the time, we launched It Girl 100 to spotlight the huge motion we were making as dope, GenZennial Black women leaving our mark on culture. The girls were on the rise, flourishing, drinking their water, minding their business, leading companies, and learning to do it all softly, in rest. We wanted to celebrate that momentum—because we love that for us.
So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.

In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.

In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.

And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.

We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.

So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.

That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.

This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
Give Thanks: 10 Tips For Hosting An Absolutely Awesome Friendsgiving
If you’ve never checked out an episode of the ReLiving Single Podcast featuring Maxine and Synclaire — oops, I mean Erika Alexander and Kim Coles — it’s worth listening to an episode or two; especially if you’re someone like me who watches the Living Single reruns on TV One, sometimes, like they just came out. Good times.
And what does this even remotely have to do with Friendsgiving? Well, if you ever wondered what the origin story of this non-holiday-holiday is, legend has it that it’s mostly due to the combination of a 2007 tweet and the show that tries to act like it wasn’t birthed out of Living Single: Friends (I’m not the only one who feels this way either; you can read more about all of that here, here and here).
Apparently, there was a Thanksgiving episode that featured all of the friends having dinner together. And y’all, there was simply no way that I was going to mention the latter without shouting out the original (amen?).
Okay, so with that out of the way — Friendsgiving. Something that I appreciate about twists to holidays like this is that it’s a reminder that there is no one way to celebrate special occasions. And so, if, for whatever the reason, you will not or cannot be with family during the holiday season, there are certainly other alternatives at your disposal.
That being said, if the thought of spending time with friends this Thanksgiving is something that you’d like to do, yet you’re not sure how to host it in a way that will make Friendsgiving a fan favorite for your entire circle — I’ve got 10 suggestions that can make the planning process easy as pumpkin (or sweet potato) pie.
1. Position Chrysanthemums or Orchids for Your Table Décor

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Let’s start with décor first. Listen, aside from cleaning up your place, you don’t have to be over the top. If you put together a really nice centerpiece or put a flower at each table setting, honestly, you’re all good. And if you’re someone who is big on details and symbolism, my recommendation would be to go with some chrysanthemums and/or orchids.
When it comes to chrysanthemums, not only are they a peak fall flower, they represent things like friendship and happiness. And orchids? They tend to bloom during the fall and spring seasons and, not only are they about luxury, certain orchid colors also symbolize friendship (for the record, yellow roses symbolize friendship too). Perfect.
2. Incorporate Scents That Cultivate Gratitude
Speaking of cultivating a warm and inviting space, you can never go wrong with scented soy candles — or at least having an essential oil diffuser in a few spots. Some scents that actually help to bring in the spirit of gratitude include vanilla, jasmine, ginger, cedarwood and frankincense.
3. Use Upscale Paper Products to Dine With

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Let’s be real — a lot more of us would probably host events in our home if it wasn’t for the mess that is left behind in our kitchen once the festivities are over. Wanna avoid that? Use paper plates. No, I don’t mean the cheap Styrofoam ones. SMDH. These days, there are paper (and plastic) plate brands that will low-key blow your mind when it comes to how bougie they look. Some that are worth considering are located here, here and here.
4. Handwrite Thank-You Notes (Use Them As Place Settings)
If you’re like Tiffany (from the HBO series Insecure — what a time) was at that memorable dinner party when all hell broke loose between Lawrence and Issa and you’re pretty anal — I mean, particular — LOL — about place settings, it’s a nice touch to pick up some blank thank-you cards that you can write a personalized “I’m thankful for you because…” message in. Place each one where you’d like each friend to sit. They won’t see it coming and it’s a really nice touch.
5. Have Everyone Bring Their Favorite Homemade Dish

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Okay, and what if what has you on the fence about hosting is you don’t feel like doing a ton of cooking? Chile, this is where the concept of having a potluck comes in. Get everyone to bring the dish that they claim they cook the best and make sure to let them know how many individuals you plan on coming (so that they will make enough). You can even make a game out of it by having everyone anonymously vote for the first, second and third best dishes out of the bunch. Take it up a notch by having a prize for each winner.
6. Take a Warm Drink and Dessert Poll Beforehand
You know what isn’t discussed enough about dinner parties? Folks bringing desserts that other people don’t even like. SMDH. You can avoid this from becoming an issue at your Friendsgiving by sending an email (most people prefer that to group chats; let’s be real — and make sure to BCC everyone as well) asking everyone to share what their top three favorite desserts and warm drinks are. Then pick the top 2-3 out of the bunch. That way, you won’t have a ton of (for instance) coffee cake or apple cider lying around that no one even wanted in the first place.
7. Create a Signature Friendsgiving Mocktail and Cocktail

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Speaking of drinks, another way to make your Friendsgiving memorable is to come up with a signature mocktail (for those who don’t consume alcohol) and cocktail. For the mocktail, you can also poll your friends about their favorite mocktail or fruits and come up with a mixture of your own. For the cocktail — although National Friendship Day is actually in August, I did peep that there are certain drinks that have been created in its honor. Some of them are located here for you to do a bit of tweaking on (if you’d like).
8. Ask Everyone to Share Their “Favorite Friend Quality” of Another
You know how it’s customary for everyone to go around and share what they are truly thankful for before having dinner? Well, to continue along with the Friendsgiving theme, have each person share what their favorite friend quality is about the person to their right. If folks are just meeting each other for the first time, instead they can share what they value the most in friendship overall, along with a story of how it was displayed to them personally over the past 12 months.
9. Send Each of Your Guests Home with a Fresh Gratitude Journal

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Wanna send folks home with a nice parting gift? It would be so on-trend to give each of them a gratitude journal. Listen, we are in some crazy times right through here (at least in the States) and so, encouraging your friends to set some time aside, regularly, to think about and then outwardly express what they are grateful for? That helps to keep stress down, keep things in perspective and it reminds us all to maintain a positive mindset as much as possible.
10. Watch a Nostalgic Movie
While everyone is enjoying dessert and drinks, how about watching a movie that brings back fond memories? A list of some of the most popular movies to come out previous Thanksgiving weekends is located here and a list of some favorite Black holiday-themed films can be found here. It’s a way to wind down and share some laughs before everyone heads home.
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Friendsgiving. What a wonderful way to celebrate your friends while also observing Thanksgiving in a way that is totally on your terms. And now that you know how to put it together, what are you waiting for? Hit your friends up and let them know that, whether it’s on actual Thanksgiving Day or a few days before or after, you’ve got a special dinner in mind.
One that has a good time with amazing friends written ALL over it.
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