How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
Latasha Stevens and DeAngelo Wright are Black love #goals.
The marketing/brand manager and the realtor/CEO are fairly new to love, the couple build together, travel together, and of course, love together. They are a testament to the fact that when love is true, it is not something you're unsure or hesitant about. In fact, you put a ring on it.
Their one-year anniversary trip to Los Cabos, Mexico was one for the books and was punctuated even further by DeAngelo popping the question and the pair subsequently solidifying their love story together. He had been wanting to ask her to marry him for months but waited to ask her over dinner while in Mexico with a couple that they met there in a moment that felt right. "When the champagne arrived, I looked at the love of my life, tapped the glass with my fork, and ordered her to stand up while I demanded everyone's attention in the restaurant," he recalled.
"I had no speech prepared and spoke straight from the heart. Even though I was so nervous that I dropped the ring twice (laughs), I still managed to clearly and directly express to her how I felt right before hearing her say 'yes' before I could even finish. It was perfect and surreal! She wants to be my Mrs. Wright!"
Falling in love wasn't something either of them anticipated when their paths crossed when they met last September, but it's added value and color to their lives in the most unexpected ways. Being engaged and getting married (their wedding is set for early 2020) are just the beginning for the future Mr. and Mrs. Wright. "It's an amazing feeling knowing that your prayers have been answered...not just about getting married in general but getting married to someone who loves you unconditionally, accepts every flaw, recognizes your worth, and treats you like a Queen," Latasha shared. "Now that we are engaged, it proves the growth in our love...that we are ready to take the next steps in spending the rest of our lives with each other, starting a family, and building a legacy for our future. It just got real real!"
Today, DeAngelo, 33, and Latasha, 29 share how they met, first impressions, first dates, being a blended family, and navigating their love together. This is their story.
First Impressions
Latasha's Instagram
Latasha: DeAngelo and I met on Labor Day of 2017 (Sept. 4th, 2017). I was invited to a boat party at Lake Lanier last minute by my friend Aricca. Honestly, I wasn't really checking for DeAngelo. I saw him but honestly I assumed he was with one of the other females on the boat... At that time, I wasn't really looking for love. I had finally let go and released my emotions and ties from someone in my past who wasn't meant for me while going through the struggles of dating in Atlanta. I was at a point in my life where I wanted to focus on living my best life and I was genuinely having a good time with my friends on the boat. I didn't have any exceptions or feel forced trying to meet a guy.
DeAngelo: We met at a yacht party that my friend Trey had. I was not looking for love at the time. [I] wasn't looking for anything but qualities I wanted in a partner were for them to be easy on the eyes, for them to be intelligent, for them to be ambitious, and for them to be family-oriented. I thought that [Latasha] was beautiful and very interesting.
First Date
Latasha's Instagram
Latasha: Our first date was at the movies and I remember getting there on time while I waited for him to show up. A few minutes turned into 10 minutes, then 15 minutes. And I was so mad that he showed up late. I kinda went off on him and told him that if we're going to see each other, he has to value my time. I definitely had a 'tude that day (laughs). He gave me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek, apologized for showing up late, and promised he wouldn't do it again.
DeAngelo: Our first date was at Studio Movie Grill in Marietta. She was mad at me at first because I was late, but I guess she forgave me after I smiled at her. She was even more beautiful than I remembered. She was down to earth and easy to talk to. The date was awesome.
Making It Official
Latasha's Instagram
Latasha: We wanted to commit to a relationship because we didn't want anything to stand in the way of us building a future together. We shared a very intellectual connection and we felt like we knew each other longer than we had. I had never experienced this type of love from a man before so I knew that I wanted to hold on to what we had. I would say within three months of us dating, we decided to become official.
DeAngelo: I wanted to commit to a relationship with her for one because she could cook her ass off (laughs). Also, I just fell in love with how simply amazing she was. She never was over the top or extra. Naturally beautiful inside and out. I also loved the way we communicated and even in difficult conversations we always seemed to find common ground.
"We shared a very intellectual connection and we felt like we knew each other longer than we had. I had never experienced this type of love from a man before so I knew that I wanted to hold on to what we had."
Blended Family
DeAngelo: I definitely approached dating cautiously because I didn't want someone to build a relationship with my daughter if it wasn't going to be for long-term. I believe at first she was hesitant because it's plenty more men out there without children and [she might've thought] that she could possibly find a guy as great as me without a child. One foot in for her and one foot out, but eventually she fell in love with the both of us!
Latasha: Once I witnessed how great of a father and how involved he was in his daughter's life, it actually made me like him even more. However, like any female would want to know, I had to make sure there wasn't any 'baby mama' drama. I can honestly say that I have never had to worry about that with him and his child's mother. It was clear that their relationship was completely over and they did whatever they had to do to co-parent and make it easy for their daughter. I was also reassured after meeting her a couple of times and it was nothing but respect and good vibes. DeAngelo just wanted to make sure that whoever he brought his daughter around will grow to love and accept her with open arms.
The One
Latasha's Instagram
Latasha: I knew it was love when I started to accepted my flaws and really be myself in the relationship. DeAngelo accepted every flaw and loved me more that I could ever imagine. He never judged me and always expressed his love for me no matter what while accepting me for who I was and vice versa. Despite our flaws, I loved and accepted him at his best and worst. I never have to beg for his attention and he doesn't hesitate in telling me how beautiful I am everyday or doing thoughtful, spontaneous things for me. It's those little things that make me feel special and truly loved.
DeAngelo: I knew it was love because I thought I was in love before from past relationships but this one was different. What I mean by that is that even at intense disagreements, we still had each other's best interest [at heart] and even in tough times, we both were willing to fight for our unity. She just had so many characteristics that I've always desired in a partner. My favorite thing about her is her mind. To me, she is so smart and intelligently sexy!
Love Work
DeAngelo: The biggest challenge I had to get through individually was when I started my own business. Financially, it was tough because I could not do for her the things I would have if I had it like that. As a couple, the biggest challenge was to communicate at a higher level no matter how difficult in order to overcome battles we dealt with alone. Now because we share everything, we are able to effectively accommodate and support each other through them.
Latasha: The biggest challenge that I had to overcome independently was my selfishness. I have never been in a long-term committed relationship before so my focus evolved around me (laughs). I pretty much was ingrained to do things for myself because I didn't have anyone else to depend on. When DeAngelo came into my life, it was so different for me, but in a good way. He has such big heart and did things for me that I was not used to. The biggest challenge we had to overcome together was our work-life balance. We both are very driven, hard-working people that put a lot of our time and energy into what we love to do career-wise...but when we started dating, it was a little bit of a challenge to step away from work to make time for each other. We realized that it was worth the sacrifice and that it is completely healthy to have a balance to do what you love and do things with the ones you love.
"As a couple, the biggest challenge was to communicate at a higher level, no matter how difficult, in order to overcome battles we dealt with alone. Now because we share everything, we are able to effectively accommodate and support each other through them."
Love Lessons
Latasha's Instagram
DeAngelo: I've learned that it's best to love your partner as if you're loving yourself. Anything less would be selfish. Also, I've learned that true love is a feeling that adds value to life. No matter what you got going on in life, it's an amazing and fulfilling feeling when you have someone with you through the good and the bad!
Latasha: I've learned that love is an ACTION. We can say we love each other all day long but if we are not doing anything to express our love for each other in a positive way, then there's no real substance behind it. I do things out of love for DeAngelo because he deserves it and my actions speaks sacrifice, effort, and going above and beyond to make him feel appreciated, respected, loved, and special.
"I've learned that love is an ACTION. We can say we love each other all day long but if we are not doing anything to express our love for each other in a positive way, then there's no real substance behind it."
Keep up with Latasha and DeAngelo by following them on Instagram.
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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If, while on your continual journey to get the best out of your own tresses, you’d like to learn how to get them healthier than it’s ever been, I’ve got seven acids that are typically known for skin use that can be just as beneficial to your hair as well.
1. Salicylic Acid
When it comes to your skin, salicylic acid is beta-hydroxy acid that is great for your skin if you’re looking for something that will exfoliate it, clear out your pores and dissolve dead skin cells. In fact, this is why it’s an acid that is quite popular when it comes to treating acne.
Your hair will enjoy salicylic acid because, if you’re looking to remove product build-up, you want to soothe an itchy or irritated scalp or you’ve got some dandruff flakes that are totally driving you up the wall, salicylic acid has the ability to treat all of this. Either purchasing a shampoo that contains this ingredient or adding it to your favorite scalp scrub is probably the most effective way to get the most out of it.
Just make sure that if your scalp is sensitive or dry that you approach with caution. In these instances, it could end up irritating your scalp more than helping it out, so use a very little bit in the beginning to make sure that it vibes with you.
2. Lactic Acid
Lactic acid is an alpha hydroxy acid that can help to even out your skin tone as well as slow down the signs of aging. The properties in it help to do this by reducing hyperpigmentation and boosting collagen production in your skin as well as keeping it hydrated.
Why is it great for your locks? For one thing, lactic acid is considered to be a humectant. This means that it pulls water from the air so that your hair is able to remain moisturized.
Another thing that makes it a winner is the fact that lactic acid breaks down dead skin cells on your scalp (so that your hair follicles are able to flourish), it can help to soften and detangle your hair (making it a helpful addition on your wash days) and it also helps to protect your tresses from heat styling tools and UV damage. Applying a hair rinse that’s made up of part lactic acid and part water can work wonderfully (so long as you apply it once a month, tops; more than that might be too “intense” for your hair strands).
3. Glycolic Acid
Glycolic acid is a water-soluble alpha hydroxy acid that is actually made from sugar. Your skin will adore it because it smooths the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, improves the texture of your skin, gently exfoliates, clears your pores and brightens up your complexion overall.
The reasons why you should consider this acid for your hair is because it helps to keep your scalp youthful (and yes, there is such a thing; check out “Your Scalp Ages Six Times Faster Than Your Face. Why It Matters.”), removes excess sebum (that could be clogging up your hair follicles) and it helps to keep your hair moisturized. Your best bet here is to make it a part of your pre-shampooing ritual.
4. Succinic Acid
Succinic acid is an acid that is made from sugar cane and contains antimicrobial and anti-inflammatory properties. Although it doesn’t exactly exfoliate (like many of these other acids do), it can still be beneficial to your skin when it comes to reducing the kind of irritation that is associated with eczema, decreasing the bacteria that leads to breakouts and keeping your skin pretty hydrated.
As far as your hair goes, this is an acid that is worth trying out because it helps to balance the sebum that is on your scalp, remove dead skin and product build-up that can irritate your scalp and clog your hair follicles and, succinic acid is also beneficial when it comes to reducing dandruff and helping to prevent hair loss. Most people tend to apply this as a serum.
5. Hyaluronic Acid
I’ve officially sung the praises of hyaluronic acid on this platform before. One example is via the article, “Why Your Skin, Hair, And Nails Need Hyaluronic Acid Like...Yesterday.” On the skin tip, hyaluronic acid is great because it deeply hydrates your skin, contains anti-aging properties and can even bring relief to vaginal (including vulvar) dryness.
Your hair will adore this particular acid because it aids moisture to it (including your hair follicles), will help to improve your hair’s texture and it also soothes scalp dryness, nurtures the cuticles of your tresses and decreases frizz. Using a serum rich in this acid as a pre-poo or as a leave-in conditioner is recommended.
6. Azelaic Acid
If you’ve never heard of azelaic acid before, this is your lucky day. It’s a dicarboxylic acid that, when it comes to skincare (and hair care) products, is usually synthetic. Anyway, if you are looking for a way to reduce inflammation, even skin tone after a breakout or if you want to use an exfoliant that will improve the texture of your skin overtime, you might want to give this acid a shot.
This one makes the list as far as your hair is concerned because, if achieving more inches is your current focus, azelaic acid might come in handy. That’s because it is able to strengthen your hair, thicken your strands and also stimulate hair growth from within your hair follicles.
7. Glutamic Acid
Glutamic acid is actually a type of amino acid. Skin-wise, it’s great for deeply hydrating your skin as well as protecting it from pollutants and damaging UV rays. Also, if you’re looking for an acid that treats skin dryness or “tightness,” this could be the answer to your prayers.
Since glutamic acid is also considered to be a humectant, it’s another acid that can moisturize your hair. As a result, it can decrease breakage while helping your hair to feel smooth and look shiny.
BONUS: Amino Acids
Speaking of amino acids and hair, please try to keep some amino acids in your diet at all times. The reason why is because, since your hair is made up of mostly protein (keratin, to be exact), amino acids are pretty darn effective when it comes to helping you to maintain the overall health and well-being of your hair.
Ones to prioritize include proline (it boosts collagen so that your hair strands can maintain flexibility); arginine (it increases blood flow to your hair follicles so that they can receive the nutrients that they need); cysteine (it helps to keep your hair follicles healthy); alanine (it helps your system to produce more collagen), and isoleucine (it strengthens the tissues that help to make up your hair strands). All of these are available in supplement form or you can use Google to see which foods contain them.
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Although it might initially seem odd to apply acid to your hair, as you can see, certain ones will work miracles for it. So, test them out to see which one tickles your fancy.
Hell, since they work for your skin as well — it’s a two-for-one deal that is worth every penny!
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