

Our Favorite Black Friday Sales Are Here
Black Friday might look a little different this year, at least in the stores. But when it comes to sales, both online and in-store, well they may just be the most normal part of 2020. As we all know, Black Friday has gradually gone from being one day of markdowns that happens the day after Thanksgiving to being a week of sales that often mark the lowest prices ever on many must-have items. With everyone's pockets being a little tighter this year, we have a feeling a lot of people are going to be tapping into these deals sooner rather than later. So here are 15 of our favorite sales from haircare to home goods and skincare to electronics.
*Some links are affiliate links. If you make a purchase, xoNecole may earn a small commission.
New Apple Watch Series 6 (GPS, 40mm)
Amazon
Grab the new Apple watch for the lowest price ever (in certain colors) on Amazon.com.
PUR Home
PURHome
Black-owned, organic household brand PURHome is offering 25% off site-wide Black Friday through Cyber Monday.
Mayvenn Hair
Get 15% sitewide -- that means extensions, wigs, bundles, frontals, and closures 11.27-11.30.
Bliss
Skincare brand Bliss is offering 30% off the entire brand at BlissWorld.com on Friday. If you can't wait until then, you can get 25% off of Bliss products at Ulta 11.22 – 11.28.
The Original Peloton Bike
Peloton
Save $350 off the regular price of the original Peloton bike, which includes a 30-day home trial and 12-month limited warranty. Check our review here before you buy.
Go Smile
Looking to have a white Christmas with a set of pearly whites? Gosmile.com is offering 30% off of everything on site for Black Friday and 50% off of Holiday Kits on Cyber Monday, no code needed.
iRobot Robotic Vacuums and Mops
Amazon
Save up to 34% off iRobot Robotic Vacuums and Mops on Amazon.com.
Urban Decay
Urban Decay is offering 25% off for everyone and 30% off for Beauty Junkie Members at urbandecay.com from now through 11.30.
Bed Bath & Beyond
Get 20% off entire online purchases 11.26 – 11.28 and 25% off in-store purchases, including Curbside and Store Pickup orders, 11.27 – 11.28. Beyond+ members will receive 25% off their entire purchase online and in store 11.25 – 11.28.
Keurig K-Mini Single-Serve K-Cup Pod Coffee Maker
Save $30.00 off the regular price of the Keurig K-Mini Single-Serve K-Cup Pod Coffee Maker from now until Monday at Target.
MELĒ
Get 20% off the new Unilever skincare brand made especially for Black women with Target Promo Code MELE20 until 11.28.
Featured image by Shutterstock
Black women are not a monolith. We all are deserving of healing and wholeness despite what we've been through, how much money we have in the bank, or what we look like. Most importantly, we are enough—even when we are not working, earning, or serving.
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TW: some depictions of intrusive thoughts may be disturbing for readers.
Have you ever caught your mind drifting off to entertain the most disturbing scenarios imaginable? Maybe you can’t stop thinking of all the ways a loved one could pass away or worrying that you left every candle lit in your apartment to which you’d return to a home in ruins. If distressing ruminations like these have crossed your mind, you may be experiencing an intrusive thought.
What Are Intrusive Thoughts?
Intrusive thoughts are unwanted or distressing thoughts, images, or impulses that pop into your mind without your control or consent. These thoughts can be repetitive, unsettling, or even violent in nature, and can cause anxiety and frustration for those who experience them.
“Generally they're unwanted thoughts that come up in our head that interrupt what we're doing or thinking, and can feel very foreign,” says Adia Gooden, PhD, licensed clinical psychologist and host of the Unconditionally Worthy podcast. “It’s any thought that intrudes or interrupts what you are doing. They can be distressing and upsetting for us because it feels like we are not in control of them, and they're coming up out of nowhere and aren’t in line with how you normally think.”
What Causes Intrusive Thoughts?
Certain trauma or stress can contribute to the development of intrusive thoughts, so having a challenging experience from the past or current life situations may trigger them to form. “An intrusive thought could come in the form of a flashback, image, or a thought about something that's happened to you,” Dr. Gooden tells xoNecole. “When it gets to the point where you feel like you can't function or make clear decisions, that's when intrusive thoughts become really challenging.”
While some of the 1 billion videos found under the #intrusivethoughts hashtag on TikTok would lead you to believe that these thoughts are nothing more than casual displays of our imagination going untamed. Intrusive thoughts are more than sticking your hand in a soap dispenser, wanting to cut all your hair off at 3 a.m., or having a random impulse to eat fake bread in public.
The Anxiety & Depression Association of America reports that approximately six million individuals, equating to roughly two percent of the American population, encounter intrusive thoughts. Intrusive thoughts are often linked with obsessive-compulsive disorders, but they can also manifest in individuals with post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, or anxiety.
Examples of Common Intrusive Thoughts
Because of the explicit nature of intrusive thoughts, they tend to cause shame and internal conflict in those who experience them. Although these thoughts can differ from person to person, these ideation can consist of:
- Violent or aggressive thoughts towards oneself or others, such as harming or killing someone;
- Sexual thoughts that are unwanted or inappropriate;
- Repetitive thoughts, such as a song or a phrase that keeps repeating in your mind;
- Contamination or germ-related thoughts or the fear of contamination and getting sick;
- Religious or blasphemous thoughts, such as questioning one's faith or having thoughts that go against religious beliefs;
- Doubts or uncertainty about one's own actions or decisions, such as fear of making a mistake or fear of not doing something right.
Intrusive Thoughts and OCD
That’s why Dr. Gooden encourages everyone to understand the difference between our fleeting thoughts and impulses and true, intrusive thoughts. “What level of distress does it cause and is it something you would never consider,” she says. “If you're finding that these thoughts are getting in the way of you living your life and that you're controlled by the thoughts, those are some signs that it would be good to get some support in navigating it.”
She also emphasizes the importance of understanding that while we may not always have control over our thoughts, we can control our behavior. “On TikTok, people are sort of blaming intrusive thoughts on their behavior, and our behavior is always a choice,” she says. “If we are in our right mind and we're not having a psychotic episode, our behavior is our choice — we are not obligated to follow any given thought that we have.”
Are Intrusive Thoughts Normal?
With intrusive thoughts, it’s natural to question whether these thoughts are “normal” to have. However, these thoughts are not meant to define who you are as a person but simply indicate that you have a functioning human mind with automated thoughts that you, or any of us, can’t control. These thoughts may come, but they don’t have to be acted upon, nor do they define who you are.
“I've worked with clients in the past who say, ‘Why am I thinking these things? What's wrong with me?’ But if you're not acting on the thought, then it's probably not a huge issue,” Dr. Gooden says. “If you are thinking a harmful thought towards yourself or someone else and you are making plans to act on that thought, then yes, we need to do something about it.”
How To Manage Intrusive Thoughts
If you are struggling with managing unwanted thoughts, Dr. Aida suggests taking these tips to help manage your mindset when they occur:
- "Recognize that it's a thought and thoughts are just thoughts. We often put a little bit too much weight on our thoughts, and that can create a lot of distress. But remember that thoughts are not facts."
- "Having a thought that's disturbing or upsetting doesn't make you a bad person, and it doesn't mean that you are suffering from a mental illness."
- "Sometimes the best thing you can do is say, 'Huh, that was an interesting thought. I'm going to let that go. That thought is not helpful for me right now."
- "Ask yourself: is this helpful? Is it helpful for me to buy into this thought and believe this thought? Asking that question can be really helpful because we are not at the mercy of our thoughts. If it's not helpful, you can let it go."
Intrusive thoughts can feel bizarre and foreign when they come up, but they aren't inherently "bad." Our minds can sometimes be filled with random and inappropriate thoughts, but that's what our stream of consciousness does: it thinks. Fortunately, we can release those thoughts at any moment; you don't have to follow through with them.
And ultimately, not every TikTok diagnosis is one that we should label ourselves with.
"It's important for people to acknowledge what they're experiencing but not run too quickly to diagnose themselves with some mental illness or disorder," Dr. Gooden advises. "It ends with confusion, and we miss the opportunity to understand the people who really do have that mental health challenge."
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