Hit Different: Why SZA Thinks Stillness Is Overrated
Since SZA's last album, Ctrl, debuted in 2017, the singer has been kind of quiet on the music tip. The release, which, btw, is still the longest-Billboard-charting debut album ever by a Black female artist, was three long, long, long years ago, and it took over the culture with classics such as "The Weekend" and "Love Galore". The album was a giant, and went on to earn her five Grammy nominations.
The artist has only released two solo singles since, "Hit Different" (featuring Ty Dolla $ign), and "Good Days" (which she previewed at the very end of the "Hit Different" music video), on the tail end of 2020. But now our girl is BACK, ya'll. Back with new music, back giving us grade A interviews for us to swoon over her even more.
SZA (real name Solána Imani Rowe), shines as the latest cover girl for the February 2021 issue of Cosmopolitan, coming through with her usual gems. Sis discussed her Grammy snubs in the past, where she originally envisioned her life, and so much more to hold us over as we wait on this album to drop.
And we've got you covered with a few of our favorite highlights below:
SZA on New Music:
"Sometimes you just want to make something fucking awful just to rage against the system, but that's not where I'm at. In this space, I just want to do what I want without any pressure, without any hyper-conversation about it."
She goes on to say:
"This album is going to be the shit that made me feel something in my...here and in here," laying one hand on her heart and the other on her gut. "That's what's going to go on the album. I'm making all different types of shit every day from different places in my spirit."
SZA on Self-Care:
SZA's self-care routine is extremely calculated. It includes crystals, which she often charges, DIY intention oils, daily exercise, and a couple of go-to astrologers.
For her oils:
"I mix rose-hip, hemp, jojoba, and evening primrose."
As for her favorite astrologer:
"I love [@iJaadee]. She's mean as hell—she's from Memphis—but she's a lovely girl and she keeps it funky."
SZA on Surviving 2020:
"2020 definitely affected my ability to create and just the way I see everything. It forced me to restructure. I'm bored as fuck when I'm not overwhelmed."
Sza on Legacy:
"Right now, more than ever, I'm just figuring it out—who I am and what I want that to be. Before, it was more about letting people know that I was a good writer and that I shouldn't be counted out. And now it's more, You have power; you can shape the world based on the things you genuinely care about."
Wow.
SZA's new album is slated to drop sometime this year. In the meantime...Alexa, play "Broken Clocks".
To read the full feature, head over to Cosmopolitan.
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Featured image via SZA/Instagram
Charmin Michelle is a southern native and creative spirit who works as a content marketer and events manager in Chicago. She enjoys traveling, #SummertimeChi, and the journey of mastering womanhood. Connect with her on Instagram @charminmichelle.
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“Just date yourself” could easily be crowned as the worst advice you could impart to a single woman. The all-too-common expression has become blanket advice for us dating folks and is typically met with eye-rolls and dismissal. In most cases, it’s coupled with the dash of “just work on yourself” and a sprinkle of “let love find you,” leaving some to believe that love enters our lives when we’re on the offense.
But in recent times, the conversation surrounding dating yourself has been reclaimed to mean something that’s less about turning ourselves into a DIY project and more about making time to give ourselves the love, attention, and quality time that we desire.
Masturdating & What Exactly Is Solo Dating
Solo dating, otherwise known as masturdating — as Urban Dictionary defines it, is the act of “going out alone” and enjoying one's own company without the presence of a romantic partner. The method is all about taking the time to explore your interests and passions while discovering acts of self-love that truly make your heart flutter.
While popular culture has made singleness out to be a sort of loveless life sentence, solo dating takes the focus from outward expectations to an inward commitment. It can be a liberating and empowering experience for women to go on solo dates, especially if they’re used to putting their own needs and desires aside for the sake of others.
When you participate in going on solo dates, you in turn, learn to appreciate and enjoy your own company, build self-confidence, and develop a stronger sense of self-awareness.
How Do You Go on a Solo Date?
Solo dates can take many different forms, depending on one's interests and preferences. For example, some women may enjoy going to a museum or art gallery on their own, while others may prefer taking a solo hike in nature or trying out a new restaurant.
Whatever your speed is, the key to a successful solo date is to approach it with an open mind and a positive attitude. Sans the lonely girl energy. Why? Because there’s no shame in being single and exercising the muscles of treating yourself.
Many single women understand that there’s no real substitute for romantic love when your desire is to be in a loving relationship. However, solo dates help you to stay in the practice of hopeful anticipation and set the standard for when you begin to get courted by potential suitors.
It’s not always about overindulgence and buying your way to the contentment of singlehood; but more so about taking the focus away from finding “the one” and creating moments with yourself that remind you that regardless of your relationship status, you are always the number one priority in your life.
So if you're feeling hesitant or unsure about solo dating and where to start, we’ve put together a list of four steps you can take to connect to master your dating needs through masturdating.
1. Start with some personal foreplay.
There’s nothing like getting yourself in the mood and the right headspace to take yourself out on the town. To prepare your mind for your solo date, start by taking a relaxing shower and follow up with your favorite body care and makeup routine. Light a candle. Play your favorite playlist and speak affirmations and compliments to yourself. Tell yourself how beautiful you look in that dress you’re wearing and how you single-handedly beat your soft-glam look to the gods.
The moments you have with yourself before your date are just as important as the date itself, so be your perfect hype woman.
2. Make plans in advance.
Sure, there’s nothing wrong with a spontaneous date night, but if you’re a girl who loves an itinerary or is new to the solo dating world, you’ll want to plan in advance. Setting a date on the calendar for when you want to take yourself out not only gets you excited for the night but sets the standard that if you or any man wants to get the most out of your time, they’ll have to make the time. Set a reservation 24-48 hours in advance. Plan out your itinerary. Know the showtime for the movie you’re headed to. You’ll thank yourself for it later.
3. Be open to something new.
If you’re taking yourself out on a solo date, congratulations! You’re already taking the first step to breaking out of your comfort zone and trying something completely new. The first few times you take yourself out, it will feel awkward and unfamiliar, but you’re getting the experience of dating yourself while gaining the experience of a new restaurant, cooking class, concert, or museum too. And once you’ve gotten over the discomfort and conquered your fears, all those nervous butterflies that come with a first date will be a little easier to manage.
4. Come home and reflect.
What feelings were brought up while you were out? Was the night a success? Did you strike up a conversation with someone at the bar? Journaling is an essential tool to use while solo dating to discover new layers of yourself. When you take the time to reflect on the personal time and dating experience that you had, you’re able to get a visual of what your core values are, what new things you learned about yourself, and even script what the perfect date night would look like when love enters your life.
Not to mention, it gives you the space to show gratitude for your single season because it deserves to be celebrated too.
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Featured image by DragonImages/Getty Images
