October is my favorite month of the year and, already, it’s about to wrap things up. SMDH. Anyway, since we’re about to officially enter into holiday season preparation (you always know when Hallmark starts cranking up all of their romantic holiday movies), with Halloween leading the way, if that happens to be your favorite holiday, I wanted to make sure that I offered up a grown ‘n sexy way to observe it.
You know, just in case you don’t feel like leaving your porch light on for the kiddies this year and/or you don’t want to attend any costume parties, and/or you’d actually prefer to observe it in a bit of a more creative way. For all of these scenarios, I’ve totally got you.
Without further adieu, here are 15 things that can make engaging in some serious sexual fun this Halloween, sexy, scary, and hella erotic — all at the same time, chile.
1. Get Some Candy-Flavored Condoms
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I don’t know if y’all will think this is wild or not but I did — guess how much money was spent on Halloween candy in this country last year alone? A whopping $3.1 BILLION. Not to mention the fact that the average American will consume around three pounds of the sweet stuff, all on their own, on that day alone (goodness!). That’s why, it only seemed fitting that I would start this off with something that was candy-related — well, sort of.
Being that condoms help to prevent pregnancy and STDS, if you plan on having sex, in order to receive lots of “treats” instead of “tricks,” make sure to wrap it up. And if there’s gonna be plenty of oral action going on, make the experience — pardon the pun — sweeter by using a few candy-flavored rubbers.
A condom company that sells affordable ones in discreet packaging is Undercover Condoms. Some of the flavored ones that they offer are located here (or you can put “flavored condoms” into the site’s search field). Also, One Flavor Waves has a 24-count sweetness assortment pack for under twenty bucks on Amazon. You can cop those here.
2. Use Lollipops for Video Sexting
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Wanna get your partner all hot ‘n bothered before he’s even in the same space with you? FaceTime him or send him a video message where you’re doing nothing but playing around with a lollipop in your mouth. It’s a simple thing that can make a really big impact — from head to toe. #wink
3. Invest in a Fog Machine
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When you think of scary music visuals, what’s the first one that comes to your mind? If it’s Michael Jackson’s Thriller, I absolutely wouldn’t be surprised. Actually, I just revisited the long version of it (here); I don’t think I realized that it’s close to 14 minutes. Anyway, it brings its fair share of fog to it which definitely adds some eeriness and mystery to the mix. If you want to add some fog into your bedroom action, for under fifty bucks, you can buy a fog machine (like this one here) that even comes with different colors and a remote control.
4. Light Your Room Up with Some Jack-o'-Lanterns
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I’m always gonna be a fan of sexy lightning, no matter what the occasion. In keeping with the whole Halloween theme, why not carve out some Jack-o’-Lanterns and put some candles inside? Or, you can probably find some ceramic lanterns at your local arts and crafts stores, if you’re tight on time or carving pumpkins isn’t really your thing.
5. Or Some Pumpkin-Scented Soy Candles
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As far as the whole debate about whether sweet potato or pumpkin pie is king, personally, I like them both. That said, when it comes to sex drives, it’s pumpkin that is gonna win out, pretty much by a landslide. That’s because there is quite a bit of data to support that the scent of pumpkin increases blood flow to a man’s genitalia (more on this at the end) while also sexually arousing women in the process. So, if you’re out looking for some candles to create the mood, a pumpkin spice one will only benefit you, your partner, and the night that you have planned.
6. Put a Glow in the Dark Spider Web on Your Bed
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Wanna feel extra entangled with your partner? Get yourself one of those glow-in-the-dark webs that you can put on your bedroom wall or hell, even on your bed. Michael’s has one (at least on their website) that you can get here. I also found a YouTube video that teaches you how to make your own webs out of — get this — beef netting. It seems pretty easy if you wanna DIY it. You can check the instructional video out here.
7. Draw Some Designs on Each Other with Homemade Chocolate Paint
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Now let’s really focus on some sweet stuff for a while — starting with chocolate. As far as Halloween candy goes, I’d be surprised if you were shocked that it continues to be the most popular kind of candy for trick-or-treat purchasers. And, as far as sexual stimulation goes, it’s also a proven aphrodisiac (thanks to all of its antioxidants and its ability to provide a euphoric effect). For all of these reasons and more, it simply wouldn’t be a sexy Halloween without chocolate.
If you want to make things really sweet and sensual, make some chocolate paint that you can, umm, finger-PAINT each other’s bodies with. LOL. I found a YouTube vegan recipe that contains only two ingredients here.
8. Pull Out the Pixy Sticks
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Remember how I referenced lollipops earlier? If once you and your partner are looking at each other, you want to turn each other into a human lollipop, open up some old-fashioned Pixy Stix (remember those? Get some here), pour them on each other’s erogenous zones and lick the contents off. Surely, I don’t need to expound beyond that…right?
9. Tie Each Other Up with Twizzlers Pull ‘n’ Peel Candy
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If you want to be tied up yet, at the same time, not really…experiment with some Twizzler’s Pull ‘n Peel ropes (here). They’re cheap, they’re tasty and they’re a fun alternative to handcuffs — if you’re wanting to take a different approach to being bound (in the best way possible) on Halloween night.
10. Suck on Some Peppermint Patties Before, Well, Sucking
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Back when I wrote, “Here's How To Have Some Really Great Fall-Themed Sex” a few years back, some people actually wrote me about one of my tips: “Use Cinnamon Oil on Each Other’s Genitalia.” They wanted to know if the cinnamon burned. I’ll vouch for the one that I know which is Sun Essential Oils’s Cinnamon Bark (here) — it absolutely does not. It’s warm and sweet to the taste which amps up everything for everybody (feel me?). Personally, I’m a fan of spicy and minty sensations when it comes to oral activities.
So, if mint is your thing, while gargling some minty mouthwash is a lick (pun intended), another route is eating a chocolate-covered mint (like a peppermint patty). The taste will be great for the sucker and the minty sensation will be awesome for the, well, suckee.
11. Don’t Forget About Flavored Oral Gel/Lubricant
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Listen, even if cultivating wetness isn’t an issue for you, still get yourself a tube or two of flavored lubricant; then check out my article, “The Wetter, The Better: 10 Creative Ways To Use Lubricant.” When lube has some flavor to it, it can make kissing body parts, giving oral sex, and all kinds of other stuff…even more…delicious. Aloe Cadabra in Strawberry (here) or Piña Colada (here); Little Genie’s Watermelon (here); Problo in Bubblegum (here) and Banana Dream (here); Oralicious in Peaches and Cream (here), and Exsens’s in Appletini (here) are just a few fan favorites.
12. What You Know About Pipedream BJ Blast Oral Sex Cherry Candy or Candy Love Rings?
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If you want to make (giving) head a bit more exciting, on both the giving and receiving end, what you know about BJ Blast Candy (here)? It’s basically the same thing as Pop Rocks that some of us (cough, cough) tried back in the day to add some flavor (for the giver) and poppin’ sensations (for the receiver). Or if you want to play around with an edible cock ring, those exist too. An elastic candy ring that costs less than ten bucks can be ordered on Amazon here.
13. Try Some Skittles Edibles
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Although I can count on one hand, just how often I’ve had an edible, a super memorable experience consisted of overdoing it on some Skittles Edibles. I laughed for hours. I tried to surf on some friends’ stairs and their dog seemed like a horse that I could ride. Plus, one of them was holding a spatula that you couldn’t pay me to think wasn’t a camera. My point? Listen, when it comes to edibles, you definitely need to follow the instructions (quite seriously and literally); however, when it comes to sex, they can make for a very interesting and semi-intense evening.
That’s why I once wrote, “7 Proven Ways Weed Makes Sex So Much Better.” It’s also why I’m going to give you a link to enter into a special kind of Skittles experience at your own risk. You can order some of them right here.
14. Play Some Scary ASMR (for Background Noise)
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Not too long ago, I linked up with the first guy who I had my “official” first date with, all the way back when I was still in high school. That joker took me to see Silence of the Lambs (if you know, you know). As we were cracking up about how strategic he was being and how scared I was, he said, “You wanna keep a woman in your lap, take her to a scary movie. We ain’t stupid.” CLEARLY. LOL.
He’s not the only one that knows there’s something to this. Some sex therapists recommend fear kinks because being afraid can sometimes be tied to thrill-seeking and that can actually make you hornier. So, if you want to take the whole Halloween energy thing up a few notches, play some scary ASMR videos in the background. YouTube has several.
A playlist that might pique your we-wanna-be-totally-creeped-out interests is located here.
15. Who Knew There Were Halloween-Themed Sex Positions, Chile?
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With as much as I read and write about sex, it honestly never crossed my mind that there are Halloween-themed sex positions. Apparently, there are. Good Housekeeping is one site that published some with (work-appropriate) visuals ‘n all. If you’ve never heard of Bad Cop, Hocus Focus, or Lazy Witch, you can peruse ‘em all right here.
BONUS: Don’t Forget About the Pumpkin and Lavender Oil Blend
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Until everybody on the World Wide Web catches on, I’m gonna KEEP saying that if you want to keep your partner’s erection strong and long, bring a combination of pumpkin and lavender into the mix. Years back, even The New York Times signed onto the fact that it helps to increase blood flow to a man’s penile region by as much as 40 freakin’ percent! It’s become so popular out in these streets, that you can even purchase the scent combo in roll-on form. One place you can get it is via an Etsy store here.
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There you have it, horny Halloween fans. Get yourself a sexy ass lingerie outfit and you’ll be set to have the best Halloween ever! Enjoy, sis. EN-JOY.
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Camesha created the organization after her struggles with mental health and the lack of community she experienced. The Chicago native explains how she created Sista Afya to be rooted in “culturally grounded care.”
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“So at my organization, Sista Afya Community Care, we focus on providing mental health care through a cultural and gender lens,” she tells xoNecole. “So when we think about the term intersectionality, coined by Kimberlé Crenshaw, we think about the multiple identities that lead to certain experiences and outcomes as it relates to Black women.
“So in the context of culturally grounded care, being aware of the cultural history, the cultural values, and then also the current issues that impact mental health outcomes.”
Words like “strong” and “independent” have long been associated with Black women for some time and many of us have begun to embrace the soft life and are using rest as a form of resistance. However, some of us still struggle with putting ourselves first and overall shedding the tainted image of the “strong, Black woman” that had been forced on us.
Camesha shares that while there’s more and more communities being created around empowerment and shared interests like running, she still questions, “are Black women really comfortable with being vulnerable about sharing their experiences?”
Being vulnerable with ourselves and others play an important role in healing the instinctive nature of always being “on” for everyone. “I'm currently facilitating a group on high functioning depression, and yesterday, we talked about how when Black women may be struggling or have shared their concerns with other people. They may be minimized, or they're told to just be strong, or it's not so bad, or I went through something worse back in Jim Crow era, so you should be thankful,” she explains.
“So I think there's a challenge with Black women being able to be honest, to be vulnerable and to receive the support that they need in the same capacity as how much they give support to other people. So that is probably a very common theme. I think we've made a lot of progress when we talk about the superwoman syndrome, the mammy stereotype, the working hard stereotype, the nurturing stereotype. I think we're beginning to unpack those things, but I still see that we have definitely a long way to go in that area.”
I think there's a challenge with Black women being able to be honest, to be vulnerable and to receive the support that they need in the same capacity as how much they give support to other people.
Roman Samborskyi/ Shutterstock
While we’re unpacking those things, we know that we’re still women at the end of the day. So as we continue to serve in various roles like mothers, daughters, sisters, and caretakers, we have to make caring for ourselves a priority. Camesha reveals four ways we can still care for others without abandoning ourselves.
Trust
First things first, trust. Camesha explains, “Some of the burdens that Black women have can be linked to not feeling like you can trust people to carry the load with you.
“It's hard because people experience trauma or being let down or different experiences, but one of the things that I found personally is the more that I'm able to practice trust, the more I'm able to get my needs met. Then, to also show up as my best to care for other Black women.”
Know Your Limitations
Another thing Camesha highlighted is Black women knowing their limitations. “The other thing that I would like to bring up in terms of a way to care for yourself is to really know your limitations, or know how much you can give and what you need to receive,” she says.
“So often, what I see with Black women is giving, giving, giving, giving, giving to the point that you're not feeling well, and then not receiving what you need in return to be able to feel well and whole individually. So I really think it's important to know your limitations and know your capacity and to identify what it is that you need to be well.”
Don’t Take On A Lot Of Responsibilities
Next on the list is not taking on so many responsibilities, sharing herself as an example. “The other thing is taking on too much responsibility, especially in a time of vulnerability.
“One thing that I personally struggled with was being so passionate about community mental health for Black women, and saying yes to everything and taking on so much responsibility,” she reveals. “That affected me to do well in serving Black women and then also impacting my own well being.”
Practice Self-Care
Lastly, she notes the importance of practicing self-care. “The last thing is really practicing regular self care, regular community care, so that it's embedded into your daily life. So for me, having prepared meals, going to the gym, getting eight hours of sleep, spending time with friends and family, all of those things are part of my self care that keep me at my best,” she explains.
“Then community care, leaning into social networks or social groups, or spending time with other interests or hobbies. That's a part of my community care that keeps me going, so that I can take care of my needs, but also to be able to show up best in care for others.”
Find out more about Camesha and Sista Afya Community Care at communitycare.sistaafya.com.
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